Chapter LXXIV

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Though I was ready to disappear from the dinner it would open up gossip if I left early and when Martha found me I was still not under the control of my emotions. Mr. Howard had taken away everything at once when he announced his engagement privately upstairs, he made it clear I was no longer worthy of any concern of his for he could not have announced his engagement out of the kindness of his heart for he had some idea what it was like to have the holder of your affections be engaged to another and with this news my fate was sealed.

"There you are my friend, I have been looking..." She gathered my face up in her skinny little hands, "you've been crying."

"Uh no."

"Yes you have, what is the matter?"

"I... I just... Uh wish my mother would get better, I miss her."

"Oh come Alice," she hugged me and I cried again though not as bad as before, "we shall go to church and pray for her then, I know how it soothes you, it will be good for us to pray."

"Yes it will be, thank you Martha."

"Alright then the dinner is about to start and Mr. Henry awaits to escort you," Martha helped me wipe my tears and go back to Henry's arm.

During the dinner everything went as planned according to Joseph and Lilly but without any sign of the big news Martha had mentioned earlier while I followed Mr. Howard's every move, every time his hands touched his soft hair by God I was misery's wife and there was no way out.

After dinner was served we retired to the piano room, Lilly and I played and sang a duet according to Lady Walker's wishes to show me off to some of Joseph's friends of higher society. Singing as always my eyes traveled to Mr. Howard and I saw nothing looking back, as if the world I once knew had been wished away and only a vast unfruitful dark emptiness was left between us.

"What angels are these we have found Joseph?" Mr. Henry said with enthusiasm when we were done singing.

"Brother oh do behave," Lady Lilly blushed.

"Your brother is right, well done the both of you," one of the man invited to the dinner rose his voice while giving me a particular look I did not enjoy as the others joined him in clapping.

"Well we must be going Lord Stanley but we look forward to having you and Mr. Henry at our meeting at the Duke's house." Both men who were unknown to me for I had disappeared when I should have been meeting them shook Joseph's and Henry's hands as Lady Walker looked over with satisfaction.

"Of course it is an honor, we will be there gentlemen," Joseph nodded and the men went away as Mr. Henry looked like he had at last triumphed.

"Good night to all, it was pleasure," they said and as soon as they were out of the room Lady Walker was by her son's side to discuss the dinner.

"Oh Henry, you and Lord Joseph might be the youngest men to be invited to one of these talks," Lady Walker cheered with them.

"Your mother's right we might just be," Joseph said and Lady Lilly smiled hugging him by the arm.

"Well I guess that is all we must get going, your father does not wish me to be back too late," Lady Walker told her son, of course she had only come to the dinner for her own interest and since she had accomplished it, she was ready to retire.

"Oh come let us drink a bit more, play cards?" He asked her but she shook her head.

"It is your father's will Henry."

"I shall bid goodbye to my fiance then," Mr. Henry came to kiss my hand, "good night Lady Alice."

"Good night Mr. Henry."

"Take care of her for me sister," he asked.

"I will brother," she hugged them goodbye and I felt a little better to know they were gone though still there was Mr. Howard and his engagement and I could not control the strength of my mind to curse myself and him every minute in his presence.

"Martha will you stay or will we go?" I asked since she was to be my companion for the night.

"Stay of course, Sir Arthur and Lord Joseph want to sing so Lady Lilly you shall be busy," Martha said to her.

"Oh good and I wanted to tell you about a property near here I think you both might want to look at. I thought it's quite proper for you and it's an acquaintance of my mother's who is selling the place so..." Lilly went to tell Martha and Arthur and as for Cynthia she did not talk, look, or breathe my way the entire night so I came to her with great labor to put out the engagement news off my focus.

"Lady Cynthia..." I sat by her at last to try to explain what had happened since we last saw but how was I to explain to my friend I had no other choice but to marry? I could not, my mother's safety came first.

"Excuse me I believe Martha had something to tell me..." Cynthia got up and left me and when I thought of going after her I knew better than to try to make things alright, at the moment I had to be fine with her thoughts on my wretched character but maybe one day I could tell her the truth, one day not today.

As the night went I was left playing cards with Mr. Howard, Lady Scott and Cynthia's mother who was still very much friendly towards me.

"My dear don't you always look pretty, sit here to keep me company," Lady Thomas asked and I obliged her.

"Thank you Lady Thomas," I nodded.

"Now Earl you will not win again," Lady Scott teased grabbing a card while looking at Mr. Howard.

"Then do not let me," he moved his cards around.

"What do you say Lady Alice? Who will win, him or I?"

"I wish I could make such predictions, it would be great to know the future Lady Scott so one might play the right hand," I mulled it over and Mr. Howard was the only person who knew what kind of mood I was in.

"Well then I am glad there are no psychics amongst us," he put down a card that beat hers and they laughed except for me and him.

"Oh you lucky man," Lady Scott said and then got up from her chair. "Come my dear, I will let you in my place, I am tired of losing to him and he must be tired of the same opponent," she insisted on me being his opponent.

"Uh Lady Scott I do not..."

"Lady Alice sit here while I go get us some more to drink," Lady Scott grabbed her cup though she should have waited for the butler to do it, it was far too late and it was mostly just us around the house. "And you Lady Thomas teach her if she needs help."

"I guess you must play at least one to satisfy Lady Scott," Lady Thomas said and I nodded by sitting down in one the chairs around the game table.

Soon the game was between Mr. Howard and I, who would win this game which dragged on for so long. Then he threw a Nine of hearts, I put down a Jack of Spades, he showed a Queen of diamonds and I beat it with a King of hearts.

"Oh very good Lady Alice! How long I have waited to see my old friend beaten in a good game of cards," Lady Scott beamed with satisfaction.

"I swear I did not cheat," I put my hands up going along with the joke.

"Some people would call it luck," Mr. Howard said drawing the cards in.

"And what do you say sir?"

"That the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life," he said with a muted tones of mood neither bad nor good quoting the scandalous George Byron.

"You and your mysterious sense of humor," Lady Scott chuckled.

"Another round?" Mr. Howard asked us.

"Yes sir," they said with hope of beating him and Lady Scott joined in the game.

After the first round Lady Thomas and Sir Thomas left with Cynthia, so Arthur and Joseph joined in the game while Lilly and Martha stayed nearby me talking of her wedding since Lilly was full of good advice.

"I believe my mother is snoring," Martha remarked and yes her mother had fallen asleep on the sofa, so had Arthur's mother.

"Ah Lady Scott never fails to try out new sofas," Arthur joked and the people awake laughed.

How the air was changed with just us in this room, my foot was bare on top of the rug, Joseph had taken off his tie, Mr. Howard had rolled up his sleeves and Arthur's hair was a mess after the longest dinner I had thus far attended.

"Oh I am tired of you winning Earl, Alice you must win again," Arthur said.

"Please do not force me to be better at winning than the man who has put you both to shame."

"And with that alarming thought I should get my wife to bed before she sleeps on Martha's lap," Joseph pointed out they had grown silent and Lilly was quite dizzy of the eyes yawning.

"How dare you give you up so easily," Arthur teased and Joseph saw Lilly out of the drawing room.

"Shhh Arthur do not wake them up," Joseph said so the people left awake were Arthur, Martha and Mr. Howard in the room with me.

"Yes Arthur do be still for once in your life, God it is so hot in here is it not?" Martha said getting up to go have some fresh air but when I moved to go with her she signaled for me to stay.

"I guess I give in as well," Arthur said putting down his cards to follow Martha knowing Mr. Howard would not utter one word against and neither did I.




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