Chap. 67

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I wasn't expecting to open Bryce's front door and see Steven Anderson standing on the front porch.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Everything in his voice spoke heartbreak.

"I didn't know how," I admitted.

"Move."

And so I did.

I followed him inside, but paused in the living room, letting him go back to Bryce's room.

"Who's that?" Josh asked me.

"Steven."

Regina just let out a sigh, closing her eyes.

"I'm going to go and lie down," Regina said quietly, before slipping out of the living room.

"Want to watch some TV?" Josh asked me, grabbing the remote before I had the chance to answer.

Steven emerged from Bryce's room almost an hour later, his eyes bloodshot.

"Come watch some TV," Josh invited.

He took a seat on the floor in front of the couch in front of me, his upper body slumping over.

"I suppose he's awake now then," I said to Steven.

Steven let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah I guess you can say that."

"Just watch some TV and hush," Josh ordered.

We finished watching the current episode of Law and Order: SVU in silence.

"How could you not tell me?" Steven asked, his voice broken.

"Because I didn't want to see you like this."

Steven ran his hand across his face, rising to his feet.

"Sorry but we don't allow emotionally charged people to leave the house," Josh informed him. "So you're stuck here until I deem you okay to drive again."

He paced the floor, agitation seeping through his body in the form of muttering under his breath and shaking hands.

Josh shot me a concerned glance to which I could only shrug.

I knew Steven at a surface-level. I'd been there for moral support after his dad's death, but our relationship didn't go much deeper than that.

"This was such a bad fucking idea," Steven spoke up.

"Whoa, language," Josh stated. "You're what, like 16?"

"I should've known that this was a bad idea," Steven continued, unfazed by Josh's reprimand.

"What was a bad idea exactly?" I questioned.

"I'm 16-years old," Steven said, whirling around to face me.

His eyes were bright with tears.

"I'm not equipped to handle this many meltdowns in a day," Josh muttered, more to himself than to me.

"And I've already lost one person to cancer this year," he continued. "I can't go through it again."

"Shit," Josh muttered.

"I should've walked away when I found out," Steven continued on in his ramblings. "I don't even like Harrison. Why didn't I just leave when I had the chance?"

"Steven," I said, standing up to attempt to comfort him.

But he just turned his back to me, clearly distressed but disinterested in my consolation.

"You're not alone in this," I said, placing my hand on his shoulder anyways.

"What's the point in letting people in?" Steven asked, in a hollow voice. "Everyone just ends up dying anyways."

"You still have me. And Kylie. And Clayton. You still have your mom and the rest of your family. We're going to be here to support you through this." I cleared my throat, tears building in my eyes. "Trust me Steven, I know that it's hard. But if we don't stick together in this, it's only going to get worse."

He just shrugged away from me. "Can I go home now?"

"I'm going to veto that," Josh said.

Steven turned to face me, tears on his cheeks. "It's only going to get worse? Trust me when I say that there's no getting better. Watching someone die from cancer is the most painful experience you'll ever go through. And it doesn't much matter if I stick around or not, it's still going to happen. So do me a favor?"

I slowly nodded, feeling the lump grow in my throat.

"Forget my number."

And then he grabbed his keys and stormed out of the house, letting the door slam behind him and leaving an unsettled silence behind.

~*~

I couldn't get off of work early.

Steven didn't show, which just left Kylie and me. And Mrs. Wilcott had fallen ill, but she promised to be in the next day.

But that didn't help me today.

"Go," Kylie ordered, as soon as the last child exited the building. "I'll clean up."

"Are you sure-" I started.

"Just go."

And I didn't argue any further, grabbing my back and heading for Bryce's place.

I'd practically been living there since he'd gotten home from the hospital with his end-all diagnosis. I couldn't imagine not being there with him, missing any possible moment that I had left with him.

There was a car in my spot as I pulled up to the driveway, a car that I didn't recognize.

I parked in the street, letting myself inside.

Bryce was seated in the armchair, supported by pillows. And seated on the floor next to him was none other than Clayton Johnson.

They were, of course, playing COD, Clayton completely mesmerized.

"Hey babe," Bryce greeted, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"I don't appreciate the new nickname," Clayton declined, his voice tight.

"Not you," Bryce said, a hint of disgust in his voice.

"Oh. Sorry Sophie, didn't hear you come in."

I rolled my eyes, planting a light kiss on Bryce's cheek. "When did you get here?"

"I live here?"

"Not you," I declined, resisting the urge to roll my eyes once again. "Clayton."

"This morning."

"He missed the very being of my presence," Bryce filled in. "I warned him this would happen."

Clayton didn't comment.

I took a seat on the couch, patting the empty space next to me for Dawson to come and curl up.

After a few more minutes, Bryce paused the game.

Clayton glanced over at him in question.

"I'm going to lie down for a bit," Bryce stated. "You good here?"

"I can handle myself in your house, as I have been for several years," Clayton promised, as he retrieved Bryce's wheelchair.

Dawson followed Bryce and Clayton back to Bryce's room, and Clayton came back a few minutes later.

"How long has he been awake for?" I asked Clayton.

"About half an hour or so."

I nodded, suddenly wishing that I had Dawson to cuddle with and to comfort me.

"Okay," I said, trying to clear the lump out of my throat.

"I tried calling Anderson earlier but he didn't answer."

"He suggested that I forget his number so you might think about doing the same."

"Wait, what happened?"

I relayed the story to Clayton, and he only nodded.

"He's scared so he's pulling away," Clayton said, with a shrug.

"He'll regret it," I argued.

"It's not our place to tell him that. He has to come to that conclusion on his own."

"What if it's too late by then?"

"He still has to come to it on his own."

"I don't think-" I started.

But Clayton cut me off.

"That's your problem Sophie. You overthink. You try and think for everyone else. You couldn't have made the decision for Bryce to play or not back in Florida, and you can't make this decision for Steven. There are just some decisions in life that people have to make on their own. Accept that and your life becomes easier by a tenfold."

And then he disappeared into the kitchen.

Maybe I do have a slight problem with trying to think for other people and control the ultimate decision. But that's just because I want what's best for everyone.

It wasn't a problem related to thinking too much. It was a problem related to caring too much.

~*~

"How many times do you think you've seen this movie?" I asked Bryce, his head resting on my abdomen as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Do I have to guess?" Bryce asked me, his voice quiet.

"I probably wouldn't even want to know," I said, with a laugh.

Silence settled between us as Hairspray continued to play onscreen.

"Soph?" Bryce asked.

My eyes glanced away from the screen, peering down at him in question.

"Remember how I told you that I'll fight for as long as you need me to?"

His voice was quiet, strained almost.

I felt my heart constrict in my chest. I wasn't ready to have this conversation.

It was too soon.

I felt my thumb rest against the promise ring on my finger, tears threatening to escape from my eyes.

"Yes," I breathed out, blinking a few times to keep the tears at bay. "Of course I do."

"Well that offer still stands," he said, offering me a wary smile. "But I need you to know that I'm running out of fight."

I bent over and pressed my lips against his, tears spilling out from my eyes onto his cheeks. "Please don't say that to me."

"I don't want anything to ever come as a surprise to you."

"Bryce-"

"I don't want you to say that you weren't ready," Bryce continued. "Or that you didn't see it coming. I want to be completely honest with you."

"I can't," I whispered. "Bryce please. I can't lose you."

"You think I'm ready to go?" Bryce questioned, his voice cracking. "I wanted to spend every moment with you. I wanted to give you the world Sophie Allen."

"Then give it to me," I sobbed, my forehead pressed against his. "Please."

"All I have left to give you is right now. And there's not much of that left."

"You promised me."

"I know."

"You promised that you wouldn't leave me."

"I know."

"Then keep your damn promise Bryce!" I said, pulling away from him. "You can't leave because I'm not ready for you to go. And you promised."

He slowly pushed himself up vertical, wincing as he did so.

And then he reached over, wiping a single tear off of the steady stream pouring down my cheeks.

"I'd never want to leave you like this," Bryce said, his voice shaking. "Please Sophie, you have to believe me."

I let my head drop into his shoulder, as he wrapped an arm around me.

"I wanted to give you the world," he stated, quietly. "So please just let me give you this last piece of happiness."

"Bryce I can't-"

He picked my head up from his shoulder, pressing his lips against mine.

We both tasted like salt, our tears intermixing as he tried to take some of my pain away.

He was the one dying, and he was trying to console me.

"I will never stop loving you," I whispered.

"I just want you to know that it's okay," Bryce said, his blue eyes searching mine as they over spilled with tears. "It's okay that I'm not your whole life."

I slowly shook my head, trying to deny his words.

"Because you were mine," he said, a small smile overtaking his face. "And there's no greater life that I could ask for than that."

I just have no words. This is the end of the line guys, I legit cried while writing this chapter. I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry.

I don't really see the need for a Teaser. It's the final chapter in the story. This is how The Golden Couple officially ends. It's been a long time coming, a year and a half. I can't believe that it's finally coming to an end. I'm in shock really.

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