Ch. 5

Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other. In that moment I looked past all the things I once did not like about him. His character flaws suddenly became attributes that made him him. And in that moment I realized I didn't really know him. Not enough to judge him at least. Who made me God when it came to him? Who was I to judge?
-Z.D.

I hit enter posting it to my blog then logging out. I shut my laptop looking at Nubia who is twirling around to a Jidenna song in the living room of her apartment. Suddenly she stops then looks at me. "I almost forgotttt," she drags out looking at me with an evil grin. "I saw a little somebody on the dance floor popping that back and making out with D'Anthony at her Delta event." Nubia bounced her brows up as I bury my head in my hand. "Don't be ashamed now," Nubia says flying onto the couch beside me.

"Who?!" Sahara asks with attitude nearly snapping her neck as she looks at me..

"Who else? This one," Nubia says pointing at me. "They were making love in the club," she says grinding the air.

Sahara hops down from the kitchen counter stepping into the living room. "Not even 2 hours before that event you were calling me crying about what he said and how you were done with your little stupid plan. What the hell happened?!" She asks with a hand on her hip.

"I don't know. It just happened," I say looking at both of them. "He's not as bad as you think," I say slightly defending him.

"Oh please!" Sahara says. "He's not that good either or else he wouldn't have said what he said. He was just as bad as all those kids who tormented us. Why? Because he didn't try to stop them nor did he ever speak up. I have no respect for him or even Gideon. Especially Gideon with his low down dirty, trifling ass!" She says with the utmost passion behind it.

I completely understand where she was coming from. Everything that happened in high school, happened to the both of us. I would even say Sahara got it worse than me. Not because she didn't stand up for herself, but just because she's so little. It was easy to pick a fight with her. They could actually get a reaction out of her unlike me. Up until the day D'Anthony had brought it up, I had blocked out everything that happened.

I don't know how I felt when it got brought back up again. All of a sudden when you're mad you bring that up? You could've been said you remember me from high school...

"You know, I've always wondered why you hate Gideon," Nubia says. The same thing I was thinking.

"It doesn't matter, just know I do. I just don't get it. If you hate black women so much, why come to an HBCU made up of MOSTLY black women? There's a 60% female and 30% male ratio here. We outnumber yo ass and you have the nerve to talk crazy out your mouth about us? Stupid. We should hang him up by his balls at the top of Founders Library. He should've took his ass to Georgetown or somewhere," she says angrily plopping onto the armchair with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Pump ya breaks. He might get offended if he hears this. He dates light skin with curly hair mixed girls," I say making them laugh because they didn't know where I was going with that.

"I have curly hair. My Mama is part Cherokee and my Daddies people have some Cuban blood. I'm mixed, so he can date me," Nubia says making me laugh.

"Girl, shut up. You are not mixed. You're black as hell! You're too dark for him. It has to be obvious you're a half breed for him to eve look your way. Let's go before we're late to this rap-off," I say standing up pulling my jeans up.

"You know I'm gonna spit a hot 16 tonight. Mic check, one, two, one, two," Nubia says waving her hand in the air. I chuckle grabbing my phone and wallet then we leave.

We get to the Howard campus since Nubia lives in an off-campus apartment and walk towards the building it's being held at. As we walk up we see Gideon sitting outside on his phone. When he sees us he gives us a glare making us all look at him thrown aback.

"Oop. He betta pop those eyes back in his head for I pop him in his face and pop those eyeballs right out. Bloop bloop!" Nubia says like NeNe Leakes.

"What did we do to him?" I ask as he looks back down at his phone.

"I don't know, but he better watch himself. I'll drop kick the fuck out his ass. I swear, he stay blowin' me, moe. Stupid bitch!" She says to where he can hear as we climb the stares.

"Ugly ass bitch!" He yells back making Nubia stop in her tracks. She stretches her neck then goes right back down the steps towards him as we try to catch up.

"Who are you talkin' to?! Cause I've been waitin' forever to have my niggas beat the shit out of you. Matter of fact, I'll slap the shit out of you myself. With those ugly ass, tight ass ripped jeans and ya shirt all open showin' ya A-cup titties to show how much of a bitch you are." And like that Nubia's Bmore accent came out in full effect as she punched her fist into her other hand.

"Come on," I say grabbing her arm.

Gideon laughs then says, "Listen to your friend, little girl."

I drag her away saying, "You really gotta stop letting him get a rise out of you."

"I just hate him with a passion. Like he's a whole bitch, I swear," she says groaning long and hard.

We walk into the building it's being held at to an already crowded room. One thing you can say about Howard is that people do come out to the school events. I was especially glad to see the turn out because this was Markel's idea and he pulled it off.

"There's a snack table," is the first thing to come out of Sahara's mouth as she points across the room. She grabs onto Nubia's hand and Nubia grabs onto my hand as we walk through the crowd trying not to lose each other. Over the many voices talking in the room I could hear Markel's voice come on the mic.

As he's talking on the stage I stuff my face with a cupcake watching the first performer come out. Before the guy could even start Gideon was coming towards me. I roll my eyes trying to look around him as he stands in front of me blocking my way with his tall ass. He was a good 6'4". "Excuse me! Your blocking my way," I say catching an attitude.

"Let me talk to you," he says as I look up at him with furrowed brows. He nods his head off to the side as I still just look at him.

"What do we have to talk about? We can talk right here," I respond. He raises his eyebrows so I say, "That little corner out in the open right there." I point then he nods his head leading the way as I follow behind him. "What?" I ask putting a hand on my hip.

"You can chill wit all the neck rolling and hands on hips because if you haven't noticed from Sahara, I'm not the one. I don't put up with that well." I look off to the side like Ohhkay. "I just hope you know, I see through you."

"Excuse me?" I ask in confusion.

"What woman with standards would ever in their right mind mess with a man after he's disrespected her? If you had a brain there's no way you'd want to be involved with D'Anthony when he's made it clear he doesn't fuck with black women. See, I'm a man of my word. If I say I only date a certain type of chick, I mean it. Ant on the other hand? If you throw it at him enough, he'll take it. I don't know what games you're playing, but I know ones being played. I see through you and your friends from Sahara to Markel."

"Games? No ones playing any games. Your friend is grown. He's entitled to change his mind. Everyone has a past."

"Including you. Don't forget what happened in high school cause you know I know better than anybody. Better than D'Anthony. Just cause this is college doesn't mean things have changed too much..."

"Is that a threat?" I ask.

"Hell yeah it is. All I'm saying is, cut the bullshit. D'Anthony may be a little blind, but I got 20/20, baby. All of you chicks are sneaky on this campus, smart too. You didn't get into Howard for nothing. Especially, when you're trying to get payback, but you're not smarter than me.." he leans in closer to me by my ear then says, "But you got the wrong one."

He pulls away from me as I say, "You're quite protective of your friend. Cute little bromance y'all got going."

"You know it. Make sure when you aim, you hit the right target. You think you know, but you don't. Let that high school shit go. You got the wrong one," he repeats as he backs away from me. He winks then walks off as I scoff and roll my eyes. I chew on my bottom lip thinking of all the crazy shit he said to me in high school. I don't think I've ever met a guy so bitch made in my life.

I turn around about to walk, but Sahara and Nubia are right there. "What was he talking to you about? Do I need to glass him in the jaw?" Sahara says.

"Nothing. The plans back on, but instead of just D'Anthony, I'm coming for Gideon too."

"What?!" Nubia and Sahara say in unison looking at each other then back at me.

"I'm not trying to make him like black women though. This is just pure revenge from what he did to me..us in high school. I forgot about it until now, but he just sparked my memory."

"That's what I'm talking about," Sahara says raising her hand for a high five as I slap her hand. "I can get with this. I couldn't get with all that sleeping with the enemy shit." I had a reason for why D'Anthony was originally my target. I could see he wasn't as bad as the people he hung around. Gideon's just straight up evil if you ask me.

"So, you know how we said we were gonna leave missions behind last year? Are they back?" Nubia asks with an eager smile. I nod my head making her say, "Hallelujah!" Last year we used to go on these missions. If you did us wrong, we were gonna get you back. It was mostly aimed towards guys who did us dirty whether it was sending a rock through your window or flattening all your tires.

This time I have some other things in store. Just damaging property isn't good enough. I want to embarrass the hell out of Gideon and any other dude on this campus that thinks like him. It goes beyond preference with Gideon. He has a hatred towards black women and he has acted on it in a violent way. It's time he gets what he deserves.

"Y'all have to let me handle the D'Anthony situation how I want to though. And no judging either," I say looking at Sahara who throws her hands up.

"Do what you want," she says.

"Next up we have D'Anthony Carlos," I hear over the mic. I look towards the stage to see D'Anthony coming onto to it. "I didn't know he raps."

"Me either. I wanna see this," I say leading the way through the crowd. I push through until we're at the very front.

D'Anthony goes up to the mic and clear his throat as a whole band gets set up. I look off to the side to see Gideon standing there giving me a dirty look. I give him one right back looking back at the stage as D'Anthony says, "This is called Dark Skin Women." I furrow up my brows as he continues, "I dedicate this to all of the dark skinned girls and most importantly Zipporah."

I bug my eyes looking over at Nubia and Sahara who look just as shocked as me. I haven't talked to or seen D'Anthony since that night we kissed at the Delta event. I was actually avoiding him. I make eye contact with Gideon and out of pettiness I stick my tongue out at him as the the drummer starts in. D'Anthony had a full band with horn players, a drummer and a guitar player. Even two female backup singers, which no one else has done tonight. Everyone just had a DJ behind them.

"What in the hell did you do to him? This is like some type of witch craft or voodoo," Nubia says as the song starts. "No, black girl magic," she says as I just stare at D'Anthony.

Girl you're a star
C'mon and dance baby

"This nigga is so corny. He's really desperate for some ass," Sahara says with an eye roll making her long, fake lashes flutter.

"Shh," I say waving her off so she can be quiet.

"This is kinda catchy," Nubia says snapping to the beat. I just nod my head and listen.

"Thank you," he says once he's done staring right at me as everyone erupts into an applause and screams. That was different from what everyone else was doing. I clap watching him exit the stage.

"I think he may be working his way to knocking them ankles loose one mo 'gain," Nubia says nudging me as I laugh.

"Naw, its not happening that easily just because he dedicated a song to me. The drunken fuck was just a taste. Now he has to wait if he wants it again. That's even if this goes that far," I say watching D'Anthony from across the room talking to Gideon.

When I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket, I pulled it out to see who it is. It was mother so I told Nubia and Sahara I'll be back then I stepped outside of the loud building. "Hello?" I say after answering.

"Did you send the money for your sisters school fees?" She asks.

"Yes," I respond.

Ever since my father went to jail and died, I've pretty much been the one financially taking care of my sisters. The culture we come from the woman stays at home and doesn't work. She takes care of the children, so that's exactly what my mother did. My mom had never worked. Then my father got arrested and it became what now? Once my father died she got a large amount of money from that, but that didn't last forever.

Now she's too old to work, so I do the working for her on top of going to school. I refuse to be like my mother. I like being independent and not depending on a man. Two of my sisters are in college while the other four are high school age. Sometimes it's a lot on my shoulders, but I suck it up. Everything pertaining to my school is paid for through scholarships, so I solely work to send money to my mother.

"How are you? How's school?" She asks as I sit on the steps of the building.

"I'm fine. The same goes for school. School is school," I say sighing.

"I hope you're doing good. You know you'll be the first college graduate in the family," she says like every time we're on the phone.

"I know. But I gotta go, Mommy."

"Alright, be safe. I love you." I said it back then hung up. I stood up sliding my phone back into my back pocket turning to go back into the building when I saw someone coming out. It's D'Anthony.

"I've been looking for you," he says coming up to me.

"Me? Why?" I ask as he stops in front of me.

"To talk. Last time I saw you you pulled a Cinderella on me when she ran out of the ball. This time there was no glass slipper involved or a search in order to find you..." he grinned as he looked down on me. "So, what did you think of the performances?"

"Do you want to know what I think about all of them or just yours?" I ask back.

"Just mine," he says as I chuckle.

"Thought so. Well, first of all I didn't even know you rapped."

"From time to time. More so as a hobby," he says shrugging.

"Hobby? That was a full on performance. A band and backup singers? That's not something you just pull out of your hat from time to time."

"When you're me you can. You think I just had that song ready to go for a performance I had a week to prepare for?"

"If that's the case, you have talent. I'm impressed."

"Ah, I impressed the oh very judgmental Zipporah. That makes me feel good about myself. So are you going to tell me why you ran away like I was the Feds the other night? If I'm a bad kisser go ahead and tell me. It won't hurt my ego."

I move a piece of my curly hair out of face then say, "It wasn't that..."

"Okay? It's a little too late to worry about cooties cause we already did the do," he says putting his fingers on his chin as if thinking.

"I ran off the way I did, because I didn't want anyone in my sorority to see. Then they'll start talking. I don't need that right now."

"Would they say negative things?" He asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah. I was kissing D'Anthony 'don't date black girls' Carlos. You've been a topic of conversations before and it was never good." The Deltas have a list of men they think all girls should steer clear of and D'Anthony's on that list. He's made it on there since the day he stepped foot on Howard's campus and with reason.

"So, you're worried about what people think and say? I thought you're grown."

"I am."

"Ohhhh," he drags out.

"What?" I ask arching my brow.

"Now I get it. That's why that white boy was a secret. You really shouldn't care what people think about you or who you choose to mess around with."

"I don't care what people think of me. I care what they think about people I have relations with. I just don't think it's anyone's business who I'm dating or fucking. If I'm not hearing wedding bells down the line, nobody needs to know. These other chicks tell the world the minute they start talking to a dude and end up looking stupid."

He nods his head as if understanding then says, "I get it. I feel that way too." He pauses then continues by saying, "But whose to say this won't end in wedding bells?" I look at him to see him smiling.

"What are you trying to do exactly? If you're just trying to get another taste, but be sober this time it's not happening. I'm not as easy as you think."

"I didn't say that. You don't think very much of me. Do you?"

"Truthfully? No. If what people say about you is true, I think very little of you if it's beyond playing the fuck out of