35: Righteous Ratchetness

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Ch. 35

As Charlemagne the God once said, "Ratchetness & Righteousness is the Yin and the Yang of life. You need a healthy balance of both." The Spring semester is now in session. Everyone's back from Christmas break ready to ride these last couple months of the school year out. This is the point in the school year where everything usually goes down hill. People are tired, stressed, & irritated. Let's see how many fights will transpire. Let the drama commence. It will get ratchet & we will need to get righteous."
-Z.D.

I type up the blog looking up every other second as I walk around campus, so I don't run into anyone. Well, I was trying not to, but I failed because I ran straight into someone. "Sorry," I say quickly looking up from my phone to see Brayden. At that point, I felt like I was actually watching where I was going, but he ran into me on purpose. "Sorry, Brayden," I say trying to walk around him, but he moves blocking my way.

I sigh. This is me trying to get away from my problems, but them blocking my way literally... I haven't spoken to or seen him in so long, that I didn't even think about him. He was nothing but trouble in the first place. Especially when I'm in a relationship where I want to be happy and avoid the drama. "You can't hold a short conversation with your friend?" He asks putting an emphasis on the word. "Just small talk. I just wanted to know how you're doing?"

"I'm fine. How are you?" I ask back to be polite. I look around as people walk around us.

"Good. You must be real good. Ever since you've gotten in a relationship you've been ducked off. No time for me. Don't even text me."

"There's a reason for that," I say looking up at him. He has on a Nike hat, so the shadow casts over his eyes, but I can see he's looking right at me.

"And that is? We switching up on friends now when we get in a relationship. That ain't cool."

"Please, Brayden. You know damn well we didn't have a regular ass friendship. I'm not about to be buddy buddy with a dude I was fuckin' when I'm in a committed relationship."

"Ooh, committed?" He says putting his fist to his mouth laughing. "That's a big ass, heavy word. It's like that? What? Your dude don't want us being friends? Don't let his insecurities ruin our friendship. You told me we would always be friends. We were friends with benefits. The benefits ended, but why should the friendship end too?"

"My dude didn't say anything about us being friends because he doesn't care about you nor does he think about you. I made that decision myself. We can be friends, Brayden, but at a distance. Okay?"

"Alright, that's cool. I'll make sure to keep my distance tonight at Sahara's little birthday get together and at her party this Saturday," he says with a smirk.

"Wait, what?" I ask in confusion. Who the hell invited him?

"Nubia invited me tonight. Then Sahara invited me to her party. I gotta go," he says walking off before I can say anything.

I really need to talk to them about the girl code and boundaries. I get they had a little friendship with him, but once I stop having one with him, they should too. Maybe that's hypocritical because Sahara could say the same for me and Markel, right? That's different though because Markel was my best friend before he ever dated her.

I continue to walk going to the Blackburn Center. I go to the PunchOut getting some food to go that I can eat before my next class then I look around for Markel because I was supposed to be giving him something. When I spot him at a table with some girl, I arch my brow walking over. The closer I got I realized it's this girl named, Yara. She's super popular around campus for being really active in pretty much everything, especially known for her activism. You want people at your event, tell Yara. Because of that she was voted as the Undergraduate Student Trustee for the Howard Student Association.

I walk up and tap Markel's shoulder to get his attention from talking to Yara. He looks up at me saying, "Oh, hey, Zipporah."

"Hey. I just came to give you the book you left at my apartment," I say sitting my backpack on the table beginning to unzip it.

"Oh, yeah, thanks." Markel stands up grabbing his backpack from the floor. This gave me a full view of Yara who was just looking between me and Markel watching us.

I guess Markel realizes she's looking because he says, "Oh, Zipporah, this is Yara. Yara this is my best friend, Zipporah."

"We've met," I say handing Markel his book as I smile at Yara and she does the same. "How are you though?" I ask her. She gives me the typical I'm good answer asking me it back and I give her the same. "I didn't know you two knew each other," I say to make small talk as I zip my backpack back up putting it on my back.

"We just became...friends," Yara drags out as she looks at Markel smiling.

"That's nice. I hope you don't think you're gonna replace me because I'm his best friend," I say jokingly.

"Trust me, I don't want your spot," she says chuckling.

"You have nothing to worry about," Markel adds in.

I smile then say to Yara, "Can I borrow him for a second?"

"Sure," she says as me and Markel go off to the side.

"Wassup?" He asks looking down at me.

"Are you still coming to the little get together for Sahara's birthday?"

"Honestly, I don't know," he says shrugging.

"Please...Not even for Sahara anymore. Apparently, Brayden was invited. I'm going to need someone to either keep me sane or far away from Brayden."

"You think you'll end up doing something him or what?"

"No, I would never cheat.."

"Good to hear you wouldn't unlike someone," he mumbles, but I hear him. "Then what is it?" He asks.

"I just don't want to find myself feeling sorry for him and his puppy dog eyes then eventually telling him a promise I can't keep. It's pretty apparent he still has some type of feelings for me. I just know you'll make sure I won't do anything stupid when it comes to him or jeopardizing my relationship with D'Anthony."

He sighs then says, "I'll be there. I don't gotta bring a gift or nothin', right? Cause I ain't getting her shit truthfully."

I laugh a little then say, "No, Markel. Just bring yourself and maybe your friend." I nudge him looking back at Yara who's deep in her book reading.

"I am not bringing her to a kickback for my ex's birthday. That will start a whole bunch of shit."

"You're right," I say pointing at him. "Sometimes I forget you guys dated and were exes. It happened so fast. This is the girl you said you're talking to though?"

"You're telling me, but yeah. We just started talking, so we'll see. I'll see you tonight though." We hug then I walk away.

...

After class me and Nubia use the spare key Sahara gave me to her apartment to get in. We set everything up from balloons, decorations, the cake, cupcakes, food, and drinks for this little surprise get together.

It didn't matter what bullshit me and Sahara went through, we would always be friends. She's more than my best friend, she's my sister. We may not always agree with what one another do, but we can always agree to disagree. We've been through a lot together. She was there when my Dad went to jail and when he died. She was there in every fight with me and she was there having my back when people bullied me. Every heartbreak she was there. When I wanted to end it all she was there. And most of all we went through the most traumatic thing in our lives together.

It's not long before people start to arrive. Sahara says she gets off of work at 7p.m. and from texting her I knew she was on the train on her way home. She thinks it's just going to me, her, and Nubia hanging out, but there were about 15 people here who Sahara considered her closest friends. This was small scale considering the party she's having this weekend.

I'm putting the candles on her cake when I can hear a knock at the door through the noise of everyone talking. I go over to the door opening it to see Markel standing there. "You came!" Even though he said he was, I thought he would back out at the last minute.

"I said I would," he says as we hug then I let him in. I close the door behind him touching his hair. Earlier his hair was still in the braids I did for him.

"It came out good," I say fixing a few curly strands into place on his braid out.

"I know. I'm feelin' it. Might rock it for a minute. On my glow up shit." We both laugh as he looks around the living room. "Ol' boy here yet? Brayden?"

"No, he's probably not even going to come. Hopefully he doesn't. Just get comfortable, I guess. Sahara is on her way." Markel nods his head walking off into the living room greeting people he knows. When there's another knock on the door I look towards it.

"I'll get it," Nubia says rushing towards it. She opens the door as I watch from the hall. Just by seeing a smidgen of pale skin I knew it was Brayden. When Nubia moves to the side letting him in giving me a clear view of him I groan. I spoke too soon. I look over my shoulder making eye contact with Markel from across the room. When I turn back around Brayden is walking towards me with a smile on his face.

"Hey, friend," he says mockingly.

"Hey," I say dryly. "Go to the living room. Sahara will be here soon."

"No hug?" He say licking his lips looking down at me. I give him one of those side, one arm hugs sending him on his way.

I walk over to Nubia who's making a thing of jungle juice. "I swear, Brayden is just the cutest white boy."

"I guess that explains why you invited him," I say with attitude.

"I thought y'all were cool. Him and Sahara are friends. That's the only reason I invited him. My bad."

"It's cool. This is just me being mad because I know I'm with D'Anthony, but Brayden is fine as hell. I just need to avoid him at all costs. Do NOT let me get drunk tonight and damn sure don't let me talk to him for more than 30 seconds."

Nubia chuckles, but I'm dead serious. "I got you girl. You wouldn't cheat on D'Anthony anyway. You love that boy too damn much." I smile a little bouncing my brows up. Yeah. When my phone buzzes from a text, I pull it out of my back pocket.

Sahara🌝: Home

I told her to text me as soon as she gets home, so me and Nubia can "come over." Little did she know we were already here.

"Everybody hide and be quiet!" I say sending everyone into a frenzy, so they can hide. I laugh at Nubia running back and forth not knowing where to go until she hides behind the curtain. When I see everyone has found a spot, I flick all the lights off hiding behind her kitchen counter. People are shushing each other when we hear the sound of her unlocking the door with her keys.

I push the door open to my apartment walking in. I turn the light on for the hallway when I hear multiple voices yell, "surprise!" making me jump. I look around with furrowed brows trying to process it all as everyone stares at me with smiles. I hated surprises. I was happy to see everyone come here for me though. "Happy Birthday!" Nubia and Zipporah scream coming over to me hugging me.

"I can't stand you bitches. This is why you kept texting me at work." They both laugh then put a plastic crown on my head.

Nubia hands me a shot glass saying, "Drink up, 21 Savage. We're about to have you drunk until Sunday."

"Sounds terrible. Y'all acting like I haven't been drinking since a youngin'," I say throwing the shot back downing it.

"But now it's legal. You can pull that I.D. card out at bars with pride. No more pre-gaming before we go out, sneaking bottles in, having someone 21 buy the bottle for you or fake I.D.'s," Nubia says pointing at me.

"I guess you have a point," I say looking at the balloons of the numbers 21.

"You just get comfortable and go say hi to everyone. We're going to get the cake ready," Zipporah says basically pushing me.

I walk into the living room greeting everyone. The entire time my eyes were on Markel who was sitting in the corner talking to my friend, Andre, who's a Kappa as well. Once I get done with them I make my way over to Markel and Andre. I hug Andre first then look at Markel. It was that awkward stare on whether to just say hey and leave it at that or hug him. "Hi, Markel."

"Hey," he says as we look at each other. "Happy birthday," he says opening his arm hugging me surprisingly. He smelled good. He looked good. Everything was just good. Probably because I just miss him.

"Let's cut the cake!" I hear Nubia yell. I walk over to them standing behind the cake that has a bunch of candles on it. As they sing me happy birthday I just stare and smile. "Blow out the candles. We know you good at blowing," Nubia jokes making everyone laugh as I glare at her. I blow the candles out as everyone claps. My eyes land on Markel who's staring back at me. I was glad Gideon didn't come because that would've been some mess.

I've had a rough past month just because of my own actions. I've just been trying to get back to myself, to the old me. It's one thing to be lost, but I still need to remain grounded.

...

It's an hour into the kickback and people are either full-out drunk, tipsy or high. I didn't even drink that much because it's the middle of the week. Plus, I planned on getting crazy this weekend at my party and enjoying myself. I look around the room for Markel, but don't see him. I wanted to talk to him. I go over to Zipporah who's playing Uno with a group of people. I bend over next to her asking, "Where's Markel? Did he leave?"

"He said something about going outside to take a call." I nod my head then walk out of my apartment. I was expecting him to be in the hall, but I don't see him. I debate on if I should just go back in my apartment or still look. I go down the stairs going down to the first floor. I still don't see him, so I go outside where I finally see him talking on the phone...


As I'm walking towards him my phone starts ringing. I look at it in my hand seeing it's Gideon. I hit the volume button to silence it letting it ring. Me and Gideon are still talking, but I didn't know if we would get back together. It was still up in the air, especially because I didn't feel like the book of Markel was closed. By that I mean, I felt like we haven't had a complete resolution. If it's really over I just want him to know how I feel. I never got to explain myself.

When Markel sees me, I see him lower his phone. I walk over to him saying, "Sorry, for interrupting."

"You're good. I was done," he says sliding his phone into his pocket. "Wassup?"

"Nothing, just needed some air. You coming to the real party this Saturday?" I ask to make small talk.

"Naw, I got a show in Ohio this weekend. I'm sure it'll be turnt up and you'll have fun regardless if I'm there or not. Plus, I'm sure ol' boy will be there."

I nod my head. "He's DJ'ing it. I would still want you to come if you could." It gets awkwardly quiet then I say, "Truthfully, I came out here to talk to you. I just feel like you never let me explain myself, which you don't have to. I just want you to know I did love you, I do love you. I can't even say it was a mistake, it was just stupid. An error of my ways because of my insecurities and weaknesses. I went about things all wrong. I should've been honest with you and myself. I just want you to know that I am sorry. I am."

"I know you are. I get it, you got history with dude. Let's just let it be what it is and let it go. I forgive you, but-"

"We can't be together?" I ask finishing his sentence.

"Exactly, not right now. Maybe if you would've told the truth or stopped seeing dude after it all blew up...Maybe, just maybe we could've made it work. But right now at this time, I think we just gotta move on. Who knows what will happen later on. This could be a break or we can never be again. As long as we're cool, I'm fine."

"I understand." I sigh, but I was content with that. As long as we're on good terms, I'm fine with that. I don't really have a choice.

I look up at him and he has a small smile on his face. "I love you too. Once I love you, I'll always love you no matter who you are or what you do. That's just my nature," he says kissing my forehead and hugging me. All I could do was exhale deeply taking it all in.

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