Ch. 18

"Hi, D'Anthony!" A girl says waving at me as she passes me by. I give her a head nod with a hey as I keep walking side by side with Gideon and Israel. We had all just gotten out of our first class of the morning and we're heading towards Blackburn Center to get some food until it was time for our next one.

"I don't understand.." Israel says shaking his head.

"What?" I ask looking down at my cellphone checking my text messages.

"I swear, you be putting voodoo on bitches. They be in a straight trance with you. You can do 'em dirty and they'll still be tryna give you the pussy. Weren't you fucking her and her roommate at the same damn time?"

I open my mouth then think about it furrowing my brows. I honestly didn't even remember who she was, I just said hey back cause she said hi. "I did, didn't I? Freshman year. I remember now. I was a whole ass dog that year." When Gideon barks we laugh then I dap him. "I don't know. I don't do shit, but be myself and they like it so," I shrug my shoulders.

"Naw, you probably out here makin' love to bitches then wonder why they trip. Carmen, Vivienne, her, Vanessa, Trina. Oh, Trina," he says shaking his head. "They all go crazy after you fuck 'em. If they're not fighting other bobble heads, they're smashing windows and stabbing tires. You need a warning on ya dick or somethin'."

"Warning! Think before you fuck. If he you drop them draws and he goes balls deep up in them walls, you will have withdrawals!" Gideon says putting on a fake announcer voice as we crack up laughing. "He's right though. I thought the chicks I fuck with were looney. Yours are insane asylum crazy. Certified. Who's next?"

"Zipporah," Israel says chuckling. "From that Halloween party I saw she had some hands on her. I wouldn't front on her if I were you."

"He's right though. Zipporah from the hood, HOOD. She might not seem like it. She might got some shooters in the family."

"Gideon, she's hood to you cause you from the suburbs. I've dealt with chicks like her before. Like come on, I know what I'm doing. I'm not gonna front on her for that to even happen anyway. We're just chilling. Despite what y'all think, it's not that hard to hang out with a female and NOT have sex every time you see someone." They both gasp in unison.

"Not have sex? Oh, no baby. What is you doing? If I can't at least eat the pussy or get my dick sucked what's the point? It's not like we don't hang out before or after we have sex. Ya know?" Israel says as if he's making sense.

"I'm convinced you two will never have an actual relationship that leads to marriage," I say shaking my head. They both shrug at the same time as we keep walking.

When a white guy wearing shorts and a tank top passes by despite it being cold outside Israel says, "That's that white people shit."

We all laugh then I say, "You think white people say shit like that to each other when they see black people?"

"Is that a real question? Hell yeah they do! They probably say worse."

"But you know how we're like that's white people shit or when it's some off the wall nonsense and we ask if they were white cause it sounds like something they would do. You think they say that's some black people shit?"

"Or they say, it's those niggers again," Israel says putting on a country voice. "Yo, am I the only one who gets offended by the word "blacks"? What year are we in? No need for the extra s or just call us African Americans."

"Or colored. I had a white history professor when I took a class at a community college over the summer, who always said that or blacks. I was confused as hell. What kinda shit is that? Technically we're all 'colored'. They just lack pigment. They're just the color of mayonnaise and we're beautiful chocolate," Gideon says flipping imaginary hair.

I laugh when Israel asks, "Do white people wear lotion?"

I crack up at how confused he looked. "I guess. I don't know actually."

"Naw, but forreal. Technically they don't need it because you can't see the ash on them. Why waste money? You think that has something to do with why they age like yogurt? Makes sense. The skin needs moisture. That good ol' cocoa butter does the body good."

Israel strokes his goatee making me laugh. "I can't," I say opening the door to the Blackburn Center waking in.

After we get our food we sit down at a table. "Look," Gideon says nodding his head in a direction. I look to see Zipporah, her friends and Markel sitting at a table talking and eating.

"What?" Israel says turning around quickly nearly snapping his neck with his burrito in his mouth.

"Do you have to be so obvious? Damn!" Gideon says smacking lips. "Are you sure you're the oldest of us?"

"My bad. I didn't know we were being discreet." Zipporah's friend waves and it's clear it's aimed towards Israel. I guess that makes Zipporah look over because she turns looking at us, well me. She looks at me smiling then turns back around. It's weird not going a day without talking to someone, but when you're in public you gotta act like you don't. I know I agreed to the 'rules', but I didn't really. I know this was all to save face with her beloved soror's. She thinks I'm stupid and don't realize that.

At least we're good again after my lips came in contact with her lips...

I can hear Gideon grumbling things under his breath making me look at him. "You good?" I ask as he stops staring at Sahara who's sitting on Markel's lap.

"What do y'all know about Markel?" Gideon asks looking at us.

"Not much," I say shrugging. "I just know he raps and he's a sophomore. That's about it."

"Something is oddly secretive about that nigga. He's kinda weird. How are you in a frat, but don't even fuck with the dudes like on a friend level. He mostly be around females..Zipporah."

"What you tryna say?" I ask.

"You think he's gay?" Israel asks looking between me and Gideon.

"I didn't say all'at. Y'all don't think it's weird for someone to join something that's about brotherhood, but not even build any bonds? Even the people he hangs with don't know him like that, like that. He probably a rapist or serial killer by night. Shit, he might like ya girl, Zipporah."

I laugh then say, "Quit hatin', Gid. You just mad he has the girl you want. Some people just like to be to themselves. Maybe he just joined the frat to give back and have something good on his resume. And she's not my girl and I highly doubt he likes her. Why would he mess with her best friend if he does?"

"Bullshit! Ain't nobody hating on his I think I'm Joey Bada$$, scrawny self. He ain't even that good at rapping. Who goes to college when they already signed a deal? I'm not even checkin' for her anymore," he says waving me off.

"You're not?" I ask raising my eyebrows. "I could've swore just a couple of days ago you were calling her when you were drunk leaving her all kinds of voicemails."

He looks at me quickly saying, "How do you know about that?"

"She told me," I say nonchalantly.

He furrows his brows in puzzlement saying, "When you and Sahara start talking?"

"She was just calling me about Zipporah and she brought that up."

"What did she say?" He asks with a little eagerness.

"She just told me to tell you to stop and to leave her alone."

"I only did it because I was drunk anyway," Gideon says making a face as I laugh. He's terrible at not showing how he really feels. It's obvious as hell he still wants Sahara, but he's mad he can't have her.

I go back to eating staring at the tv screen hung up on the wall. The news is playing talking about the fact today is November 8th, 2016 aka Election Day. "You guys realize by tomorrow we will know who are new president is. Clinton or Trump. That shit is crazy," I say shaking my head taking a drink from my straw. "Kinda scary," I mumble.

"Man, who are you telling? This shit seems like a long, drawn out joke nobody's fucking laughing at except maybe other countries. Ain't shit funny over here," Israel says.

"If Trump wins, bruh, it's over. Muh fuckas are undoubtedly going to be protesting. Then we live in D.C. where the capital at? It's gon be different," Gideon adds in. All I could do was shake my head.

"I mean, all we can do is wait and see. As long as we know we did our part and voted, what else can you do?"

"If he wins, he'll probably get impeached or assassinated anyway," Israel says shrugging.

I look at him sideways saying, "You can't say that type of shit out loud."

"What? I didn't say I would do it. I forget you're one of those people who thinks the government hears and sees everything we say and do. The government doesn't have bugs every damn where. If that was the case no crimes would ever be committed because they would stop them before it could happen."

"No, they wouldn't. The prison system has great economic value to America. It's also a great construct to keep people of color locked down. They just didn't plan on white people being some crazy mutha fuckas going on killing sprees at schools and churches or raping little kids."

Gideon is about to say something when Nubia comes over to the table sitting next to Israel. As they begin to talk I look at my watch saying, "I need to get to my next class."

I stand up from the table and so does Gideon. "I do too. You got work today?" He asks as we throw away our trash.

"Yup, until 6. Why?" I say putting my backpack on my back. I dap Israel who's too busy talking to Nubia.

"We need to start on the shit for the Veteran's day event, but we can do it tomorrow cause I have class, tutoring and soccer practice. I'ma be no good," he says as we walk out of the Blackburn Center. I nod my head then we dap going our separate ways, so I can go to my Liberal studies class.

Some days I feel like my focus is somewhere else, but I have to remember I'm here for my education. As an architecture major, my degree is supposed to take 5 years, but I was aiming to finish in 4 years by next semester.

I walk into the Founders Library going to the spot Gideon and I usually sit at when I tutor him. He's already at the table on his laptop with Beats headphones on seeing as I'm late. When he sees me he looks up at me pulling his headphones off as I put my stuff on the table. "Sorry, I'm late. I had a presentation," I say pulling the chair back sitting down.

"It's cool. I was wondering why you're so dressed up." He clears his throats saying, "You look nice though."

"Uh, thanks," I say as I get my French textbook out. I wasted no time taking the black, patent leather pointy toe pumps off of my feet and putting on a pair of boots. I didn't care that they didn't match, my feet were killing me.

"What's your major again?" Gideon asks I guess to not make it so quiet. I haven't tutored him in awhile because he said he was good for the time. Don't get me started on all those voicemails he left on my phone while drunk when I wouldn't answer.

"English and African American studies. Boring stuff to some. I want to get my Phd and become  a professor. At a school like this, I guess."

"It's not boring if you're interested in it. It's good that you know what you wanna do. Umm, I guess I should say this, so it's not awkward...My fault for leaving all those messages that one night. I was drunk. Just disregard everything I might've said," he says scratching his curly hair that looks to be freshly cut.

"Already deleted and forgotten. You ready to start?" I ask opening my book. He nods his head then I tell him the page I want him to turn to.

...

"Why is girlfriend petite-amie? Petite means small and amie is friend. Soo, she's a small friend? That's like saying, 'Oh, she's just a little friend. It's nothing.' I don't know. I'm probably reading too much into it," he says looking at his textbook.

I chuckle saying, "I never looked at it like that. I don't know why they say it like that." I was in a good mood today, so for once I didn't have an attitude around Gideon. It helped that he was being decent today. He was finally getting better at this whole French thing too.

I add, "When you say petite-amie or petite-copine, it's almost as if saying it's not that serious or you haven't been with that person that long. If it's a serious, long, I guess, adult relationship, you say compagne. There's different levels. Like in English we say we're talking to or dating someone, in a relationship, engaged or married. The same for French. If you're introducing someone and you're unsure put a possessive word in front of amie to say it's a little more that just friends. Got it?"

"Yeah," he says nodding his head.

I look at my phone to see we have 5 minutes left in our session. "Like always to end the session, lets have our conversation in French using stuff from this lesson. You go first. You ask the question today."

"Okay, ummm..." he says thinking on it. "Est-ce que Markel est ton ami, un amie ou petite-ami?" I was stuck for a second. He was asking if Markel is my friend, but it's likely to be romantic, just a friend or my boyfriend.

"Umm," I had to think about it. We're definitely not boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess he's the first one, so I say, "Il est mon ami."

"D'accord," he says nodding his head. He pauses then says, "Tu veux sortir avec moi?" I literally froze. He was asking me to go out with him. I knew telling him to make that apology was a bad idea because now he's under the impression that I would really give him a second chance.

I didn't even reply in French I was so stunned. "On a date?" I ask confused.

"Yeah, what else would it be?"

"But I- But you just asked about Markel and I told I talk to him."

"And?" He drags out. "You said yourself he's not your boyfriend. You can't go out with anyone else? I don't see a ring on your finger. If it's just talking you can talk to other people." I didn't know what to say. "It's just one date. Think of it as me buying you a meal to further apologize. So?" He looks at me waiting as I sat there contemplating.

"Fine, a date won't hurt. I like free food."

He smiles showing his braces then saying, "Great. Is Friday fine?"

"Yeahh," I drag out. I still couldn't believe I just agreed to that.

"Cool, see you Friday. I'll text you about the time and all that." He gets up from the table grabbing his backpack and phone leaving.

I sit there for a second taking a deep sigh slumping in my seat. Gideon had a point about Markel not being my boyfriend despite us acting as if we were in a full blown relationship. What Markel didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. After all it's just one date...

I gather all my stuff up then push my chair in leaving the library. I walk out of the library spotting Markel sitting on a bench looking  at his phone as he waited for me. I take a deep breath going over to him. He looks up smiling. I stand in between his legs as I stand in front of him. I lean in hugging him making his head land on my stomach. Even though we already had sex we are taking it slow as far as titles. He looks up saying, "You ready?"

"Yup," I say making him stand up towering over me.

He puts his arm over my shoulder kissing my forehead asking me, "You hungry?" Something told me to look over my shoulder and sure enough Gideon was behind us on his skateboard. He winks at me then breezes by us making my hair fly back over my shoulder.

"Yeah, let's go to Chipotle," I finally answer looking up at Markel forcing a smile out. I was already feeling guilty and I haven't even done anything. Maybe I shouldn't go. I need advice from Zipporah or Nubia now. I should probably go to Nubia instead of Zipporah since she is his best friend...

As I rode the bus from campus to my apartment, I had my headphones in listening back to the interviews I had to conduct today for the newspaper. It never failed for me to get the opinion pieces. Why couldn't I ever get the good stuff where I got to go to press conferences off campus or something? I was like the token black girl they hired to be the voice of all the black women of the campus. Essentially, I was made out to be the voice of the mad black woman.

I couldn't believe some of things I heard today while interviewing women on the Howard campus on what they thought about beauty standards for us pertaining to our hair. I interviewed women with natural hair, with weaves and wigs, dreads, women who wear their real hair, but it's relaxed and even mixed girls