EPILOGUE
————

Life is that game when one can't lose nor one can win. The paranoia of strange situations that keep revolving around you, is inevitable. And the most difficult thing is, you can't have the controller nor can you achieve it cause in the end, life would either turn everything down or simply up. The facile of directions seem too obvious but it took centuries for human beings to actually understand the perceptions of the nature that—always—in the end, wins.

Two lives depended on me that horrible night. Seven people were waiting for my only gesture and the whole country hoped for my one deed that could either destroy or lift up our fallen hopes crushed under the shoes of evil.

But that night, those twelve hours, that horrendous dark lifted off as sun shone . Even the grass danced under the sunlights. The leaves rattled the announcement of coming happiness. The wind swirled and curled whispering my aliveness. And the sky, it decided to finally lift off the curtains of pain and let the light enter into our dull breaths.

'Elsa,' I didn't turn around. The sorrow that scribbled roughly in Stephen's  voice was enough  to paralyse me. 'She's no more.' I clutched  my heart and shut my eyes.

How strange those words are. 'No more'. As if her presence was enough in this brutal world. Who would've thought that someone would die this mercilessly?

A cruel game of power and love, who won? The person with a strong determination to rule the world left it already but does it make me a winner? The girl who spent her whole life thinking about how easy her life would be if she was a normal girl. The girl who marched through the thorns just to save what she loved, destroy the one who destroyed her love ones, did she won? Did she save her love? Her mother?

Who left this world just so easily. Like she longed for such departure. But why wouldn't she be? It was easy. It was painless. The actual pain was when she opened her eyes after staying in hospital for two months and said only words after I begged her apology ; 'I'm proud of you'.

That was painful when her breath would sometimes struck so badly because her lungs couldn't work probably as her ribs were fractured for that beast tortured her that badly.

That was painful when her heartbeat onto the CRO would threaten to straight itself in the times of nights.

That was painful when I'd limbed towards her bed second after second just to see the speck of light, the brightness in her eyes that was hidden behind her eyelids.

That was painful when, upon seeing her pale and lifeless face under the cover of oxygen mask—the flash of all the blames and mistakes I made because I thought she never loved me would wave before me.

That was painful when I wanted the same news for mom that belonged to Leo that he survived.

That was painful when I just couldn't make up what I want to do with my life. Where I couldn't figure out whether I should be happy that I killed Hades or not.

That was painful.

For me to see. To hear. To feel the regret that I couldn't save her. And to think that I won would be so wrong to say cause I lost my mom to that monster who swallowed each and every ounce of happiness from my life.

The funeral was the most painful part. Considering the fact that I won't be able to see her again. To apologise correctly for my mistakes. That I lost her forever. Perhaps that was what I needed to learn that it was okay not to be normal. But that silly me, decided to think against.

I traced my fingers on the wall of my new room that was constructed  again by the government. It didn't seem like mine from anyway. Or maybe, after living for two months in Dr. Madison's home for ours were in too bad condition to be lived in, the strangeness of this room was nibbling on me.

I looked out the window. It felt a normal day to be alive. Too normal. Too alive.

I slumped down on the window sill and closed my eyes. I wanted to sleep. Get lost into the world of dreams that were too inviting to be strayed into.

A knock reluctantly brought me back to the previous—or in Leo's words—same old shit. I didn't speak as the door itself opened. It was Chloe. 'Hey,' She walked towards me and sat down at the edge of the bed. 'You okay?'

I smiled weakly. 'You mighta not ask this question to me,' I said. 'Cause I don't have any answer.'

'Hey,' she placed her hand on my knee. 'It's all gonna be okay you know. You were so brave outta there. I'm sure Marie would be so proud of you.'

'I couldn't save her.'

'Maybe that was what needed to happen you know,' I looked at Chloe's eyes. Her blue eyes that seemed too naked for they weren't covered by any sort of colours but love and care was what I surmised. 'Maybe, her sacrifice was necessary.'

'It didn't help.' I blurted out.

Chloe let out a low laugh. 'I know. I'm so bad at consoling people,' she held my hand. 'I'm sorry for my behaviour. I promise I'd be better from now on.'

A small smile stretched on my face and I shook my head. 'I'll look forward to it.'

'For sure,' she got up. 'But now, we need to get to breakfast.' She outstretched her hand.

I, without giving it another thought, took it.

Perhaps, I needed a helping hand or maybe, just help.

I joined a cheering crowd that shushed at the sight of my presence. 'What's wrong?' I walked towards my chair. 'Why did you guys go silent?'

'Er... we're kinda afraid of you.' Justin said.

I arched my eyebrow. 'Are you out of your mind?'

'I mean you know we don't know maybe you could blow up from an invisible gun just like you did to Hades,' Austin explained. 'I mean like how did you do it?'

I smiled as I spread marmalade onto my toast. 'I just did.'

'But How is my question. It means you knew his weakness?' Austin pressed.

'I knew him.' I murmured.

'Pardon?' Austin asked. I hadn't told them about my father turning out to be the biggest monster and I didn't felt the need either. It was my past that needed to be kept safe as long as it would be locked.

'Nothing. I shot his infinite gun and it blew,' I placed another toast over the previous one. 'Just like that, he died.'

'Ooh, I wish I was there.' Austin remarked.

'Oh you so not want to.'

'What's your plans for today?' Leo asked me.

'I'm going to mom's house,' I informed him. 'Do you wanna come?'

'I'm good.'

'Ok.' I said and silence laid over.

***

'Thanks eh.' I thanked the driver who drove me here.

'No problem ma'am,' He bowed down his head a bit. 'Call me when you're free.'

'Elsa,' I corrected him. 'And yes, I will.'

I closed the door behind me and watched the car growing little and little with the distance increasing between us.

I punched in the password and rotating the keys, I let myself in to the lonely place.

The whole furniture was covered in white clothes and dust had become a permanent habitant on it. The light that filtered out of the knitted threads hung over the windows made funny patterns over the floor.

I had never been here before. My useless arrogance had forbidden me to. The wooden floor screeched beneath my high calf shoes arousing the whispers for my arrival to a lonely home which had got a new label ; a place with four walls.

The walls that echoed the mourning of mom when she lived here.

I traced my hand on the counter of the kitchen. Everything was covered in white. Colourless whining just like my present life.

I looked at the fridge. There were no notes , no photos , nothing. And why would she need them? She had no one to tell where she's be going.

I stepped out of the kitchen and started climbing up the stairs while tracing the pores of my fingers across the sheet of an empty wall. The stairs led me voluntarily up to mom's room. Her home was bigger, expensive but she had none to inhabit.

The door creaked, silencing my thoughts, arousing my expectations and speaking my approach. Her room was vast, under the white clothes, I made out the study table that laid empty. The dresser that was at the far corner of the room and beside it was a cupboard. Her bed was in the centre, occupying most of the space. Her room didn't consist of much furniture, but the one that it had, seemed much.

I walked slowly, deliberately towards the bed and sat on it. I ran my both hands through my hair and heaved a sigh. Closing my eyes, my mind rewinded my moments that needed to be alive by now.

The memories.

Where were they? That didn't show up when I needed them. My memories about my mom, my father, about me. Why I don't remember much? The memories that stone showed were so fragile that it took me so long to actually recognise them.

Memories. Stone.

I gasped and instantly opened the drawer of the night stand. But it wasn't there. I rushed towards the dresser, opening and closing all of its drawers but it wasn't there either. I struck the loose strands of hair behind my ear in order to concentrate to find the desired thing among the unwanted ones. But all in vain.

I stood up and raced my mind. I looked around.

Dresser. Checked.

Cupboard. Checked.

Nightstand. Checked.

Bathroom.

I headed to the bathroom and opened the cupboard of the venti. There, covered in dust and placed behind two bars of soap, was a black coloured leather were two books.

I snaked my hand around the products to get a hold on one  book. The last memory—the last hint of future—that infinite stone showed me; the book.

I cracked open that book which turned out to be Mom's personal diary. But it didn't seem to be written every day. Just important events . I turned the page and there was written:

15 Oct, 1998 —Thursday

I found the one I've been looking for my whole life. I never knew the feeling of walking down the aisle in white dress with a bouquet of roses could be so special. I can never forget the look Carter casted me.

I flipped through more pages. A photo of mom wearing a plain white silk gown with her one arm looked around a man, I remembered only vaguely. My real Dad. Now that I looked closely, it occurred to me that I was mostly like him. My brown eyes, brown hair, my height—it all resembled my Dad. He was taller than mom. I could make up the muscles that were hidden behind his grey suite and a bright smile he flashed at the cameraman.

20 March, 1999–Saturday

Today, Carter and I had the first fight. Now that I think, I shouldn't have yelled at him. But I loved the moment he apologised on his knees and sang my favourite song.

I flipped a few more pages. Tracing my finger on Mom's handwriting. That was slanting and joined. Neater than mine. Beautiful than mine.

13 June, 1999–Sunday

Just found out about our new member. Can't wait to tell Carter once he come back home.

The new member was me. I realised.

23 December, 1999–Thursday

Carter's mom' so badly ill. She was lucky I went at her home to help her out only finding her unconscious on the floor. She was attacked.

———
1st Jan, 2000–Saturday

Carter and I, we both stayed at the hospital. Though it is getting difficult for me .

———

12 Feb, 2000–Saturday

The doctor's couldn't save her. She died in her sleep. Carter cried whole night. I wish I could help him out.

———
1st March, 2000–Wednesday

I held her in my arms for the first time. For the first time in whole month, Carter smiled and cried too. Though he tried to hide his tears but I saw them. It was funny. He named her Elsa.

I held my breath. I never imagined how it was for my parents when I would've born and now that I read the little description, it felt something secured.

1st March, 2001–Thursday

Elsa's a year old. Though Carter's depression is getting worse. I need to do something.

———
20, March, 2002–Tuesday

On our anniversary, Carter's father gave us two rings. They're so beautiful . We proposed Carter an idea to send him for social welfare. Maybe, helping other people could help him too.

———

4 Aug, 2004–Wed

Carter came up an idiotic idea of building an agency while doing welfare. It is really idiotic. And I want to be part of it.

So that's how they started the agency. It means that Dad was really lovable.

25 Oct, 2005–sat

The Walls of our future agency have already built. Carter's so happy. James suggested it to be called SAB. Though he didn't explain why.

I flipped through a whole lot of pages and sat back. Leaning my back against the wall.

2 April, 2009–Thursday

Our agency's going so well. Yesterday, three more men were hired. But James' death due to another attack three years back has really boosted me to work for this company. Today, we'd take Elsa for a picnic.

———

26 Feb, 2010–Mon

We have planned to buy Elsa a surprise gift. Carter's so excited. He has already decided the colour of the toy gun he would buy Elsa. He wants to see her in the company too.

I flipped through more pages and I landed straight on September. The rest of the pages were torn.

19 Sept, 2010–Sunday

Woke up two days ago. I don't remember much but I know that a car crashed into ours. The headlight of the car restricted me to see much. All I know that Carter didn't wake up once I tried to. Elsa was alone at home. Seven months, I was in coma. I don't know what is happening.

The diary ended but Mom's past didn't. I craved to know more but part of me wantEd to think about what just passed before my eyes. It means mom did not fake her death. That accident actually happened in which dad died and mom survived. My grandparents had already died. Dad too. And only Mom was my caretaker who, too was in coma.

Thinking this, brought tears in my eyes. How wrong I was. How wrong I was made.

I leaned forward to read the other book placed right there. But before I could, the phone in my pocket buzzed. It was Leo.

'Hi,' I said.

'Hey,' Leo breathed. 'You're free?'

'Yeah,' I sniffed.

'You're crying?' Leo asked, concerned.

'I—yes,' I admitted.

'I'll be there in twenty.' With this, he cancelled the call. I picked the book.

I turned the first page and began reading it.

1st March, 2011–Tuesday

Today's Elsa's birthday. I wish I could be with her but I can't. I can't believe being in coma, Elsa could be in such danger. Someone raided the house. He took in Elsa. I can't take her back. If I will, he said he will kill her. I don't know what to do. Oh God, I really don't know.

———

15 April, 2011–Wednesday

My agents are working quite good in protecting Elsa. Sending one as a neighbour and as a school mate, can really help. I wish I could save her from the abuse too. I know he beats her. But I know, Elsa is strong. She'll go through it. She have to.

———

20 October, 2012–Tuesday

Days are getting super busy. I wish Carter was here with me. But I'll fulfil his dream. If not me, then Elsa would.

———

14 August, 2013–Wednesday

I went at his home to get Elsa back. Elsa didn't recognise me. I think he manipulated her memory.

I kept flipping through the pages. Reading more and more aggressively. Wanting to know more. Mom explained how much she tried to get me back but that monster was in no mood in giving me back. She slowed down writing. There was nothing written in 2014 and 2015 barely held two pages that explained how tired she was.

2016 was when she started her poetry. Her first poem was merely a stanza;

The ocean of pain is vast,
but I'd sail through it at last

After it, a whole poem was written and bunch of pages were torn. Then, came 2017.

18 June, 2017–Sunday

Elsa has grown up so much. Today Leo and Jake brought her to company. It pained me to see the bruises on her neck and head. She refused to accept me. I'm sure she'll understand me.

———

5 December , 2017– Tuesday

Elsa still doesn't talk to me. I want to talk to her about so many things. I wish, Oh I wish, she'll understand me.

Someone knocked at the door bringing  me back to world from the world of pages. It was Leo.

'Do you know there are many good places to sit rather than in bathroom,' Nevertheless, he settled right next to me. 'Whatcha reading?'

'Mom's personal diary.' I answered.

He crooked his eyebrow merely before nodding. 'Ok.'

'I was so wrong Leo.' I told him.

'We all were.' He said. 'It's not your fault eh,'

'Yeah right.' I said and placed the book beside me. 'You tell me mister, whatcha doin' here?' I made an attempt to change the subject.

'Well, trying to find my bright partner who is kinda lost in this,' he waved around.

I smiled. 'Did you find her?'

'No, not now,' he answered. 'Still looking.'

'Lemme know when you find her.'

'Oh darling, you'll be the first to know,' he said. 'But for now, we need to go home.'

'Why?'

He shrugged. 'Wish I knew.'

'You know.'

'I so know.' He admitted.

We reached home in a somewhat different car ride. It was a good car ride. Considering the fact that Leo still couldn't properly control his leg so I felt as if I was sitting in truck.

Standing outside the house, loud music pulsed through it.

I casted Leo at look. 'What the—'

I opened the door and was greeted by a surprising scene but before I could register, I was picked up by a couple of hands with a lot of hooting.

'Guys, What the hell?' I yelled as I was placed down.

'Well, you see you once said that once we get free from this 'world saving act',  you'll throw a party so! Here it is!' Austin squealed.

'Er. . . I'm speechless?' I asked more than said.

'Yeah you are. You were meant to.'

'But—'

'Oh shut up would you? I'm so done with the weeping and blah blah,' Dr. Madison and Chloe  held me by my hand and dragged me to the back yard. It was lit with fairy lights and a slow music pulsed around it.

But what captured my attention was Leo.

He was dressed in black button up shirt with a pair of black dress pants. His hair was not the usual mess. It seemed he had run his hand through them which looked beautiful when they came under the moonlight. His green eyes were waiting patiently for me right in the middle of the backyard.

'Best of luck.' Chloe whispered.

'Wait what?' I turned around but both were already gone. I dragged my feet up to him.

'Hey,' he breathed again with a smile.

'Hey.' I said.

He let out a long breath. 'Ok...' he took another breath. 'I know I already told you that I love you and I meant it. I so fucking meant it,' Leo stared at me for a response so I nodded. 'And I'll keep on telling you this as long as I live cause Elsa I lost myself after Jennie died but you lit me up. Everyday started becoming more beautiful. I