MERCURYS POV.

I ignored the growling of my stomach as I sat on the counter, staring at the floor.

I couldn't sleep, so I walked down to the kitchen, somehow expecting to find myself a remedy in a cabinet.

   The drive back from the appointment was a quiet one.

What could either of us say?

Of course, we had both expected the diagnosis, but neither of us were ready to accept it.

   As soon as we got home, I said I was tired and went to bed early in the afternoon.

The only issue being that I couldn't sleep.

"Oh- I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" I hurriedly apologized once I saw my father walk in.

   "No you didn't. It's four thirty in the morning Mer. Have you slept?"

  I silently shook my head. "Have you?"

He shook his head. "I've just been silently screaming at the world in my mind."

     "I'm sorry." I grimaced.

"You don't have a reason to be sorry Mercury."

"Angelo, look at my life."

"What do you mean-,"

"My mother had me when she was around my age. She couldn't cope with me. And then my father comes along." I sighed. "This man runs the mafia, speaks and knows sign language in both English and Italian, and is an all around bad ass. But it turns out his kid has the mind of a seventy four year old war veteran. I'm sorry that I'm not a normal daughter."

It felt pretty good to have gotten that off of my chest.

I guess I just wanted to be normal.

"Do you think I would want you any other way?" He cocked a brow.

"Yeah. Preferably less- I don't know, traumatized?"

"Yes, that's the ideal for every child Mercury. Little to no trauma. And you're completely wrong if you think I would ever dislike or stop loving my child because of something that happened to you."

"Come on Ang. I know what you were like before I came along. You had fun with your life, and then you got stuck with me."

"I wouldn't call what I had before I life."

Yeah right. People would have killed to be him.

"Whatever you want to call it, it couldn't have been worse then what you ended up wi-,"

"Mercury enough."

"I ruined your life, at least try to have some resentment towards me."

"Stop."

"Angelo I am asking you to feel angry! Be pissed off at the world for putting you through this! Come on, hate someone, hate mom, hate me, hate something!"

He stared at me for a few silent moments after my outburst.

"I have been angry the moment you walked into my life Mercury. I have hated the world not because it's putting me through this, but because it's putting you through this and I can't do it for you. I have hated you're mother for causing this. I cannot hate you. There is no reason to."

"Anyone would hate the child that's Pandora's box."

"I don't know what you know about my life a few months back, but I know you know that I had many women around me, right?"

Gross turn but ok.

"Yeah."

"And you know how your mother left, right?"

"Yes."

"I had one girl that I loved," he leaned against the opposite counter. "And then countless girls after that."

"Are you saying that you miss it?"

"No. The night we got back to New York after we got you back, I saw you in your bed after seeing it empty for weeks. I felt a few tears come out, and I stood there shocked that seeing you home was all it took for me to cry over a girl for the very first time in my life."

I wasn't expecting that.

I didn't even know he had ever cried at all.

"So no, I don't miss it. I enjoy staying in every night. I enjoy watching my brother and my daughter fight over who gets to choose the music. I even enjoy having the ability to use you as an excuse to get out of stupid shit that I don't want to go to. You gave me the choice to choose between meaningless living or taking of someone. I would say it's very obvious what I chose, so I cannot and will not hate you for something I decided."

I looked down, feeling guilty.

"Damn it." I groaned as I tore off a paper towel, a few tears somehow escaping.

    "Mercury, don't-,"

"I can't help it." More tears spilled out. "You know how I get when I surpass the hangry stage. I get emotional."

"Please stop crying Mer-,"

"It's just that you're an awesome dad and a really good mom and I don't know how to handle a good life."

    Now we are at the truth telling stage of hungry.

God it's been a long day.

"Honey you handle a good life by living it."

   "I don't know how to live one." I continued to cry.

    "Alright, calm down." He soothed as he wrapped his arms around me.

   "I hate her. I hate her so much and I hate myself for it." I sobbed into his shoulder.

    "She's the one who chose her path, the same way we all do. She just didn't choose the right one. Hating her is the best thing you can do right now."

    "Why didn't she choose me? I don't understand, I thought you were supposed to love your kid."

   "You are."

"So why doesn't she?"

"If you want my honest opinion, I think she was scared of you hating her because she knew that what she did was wrong."

     "Am I right to hate her? Does that make me a bad person?"

      "No. I think it makes you more normal if anything. She ruined your life Mercury, there's no way around that. There's no way to change that answer." He let go of me.

       "Maybe if I didn't-,"

"No, don't even start that. You did everything right. You're a child, you shouldn't even have to think about that stuff."

I sighed again before sniffling.

    "What if I didn't want to have her in my life anymore? Would it make me a bad person?"

He softly smiled. "Not at all."

I wish he would smile more. We have the same dimple.

"I don't think I want her in my life. Or in your life. Or in any other of my family members lives. It's ruining everything."

   I hoped that without her in my mind and life, I wouldn't feel like everything is falling apart all of the time.

"Then she won't be in our lives anymore. We don't need to worry about her, Nick or Violet for the rest of our lives if we want."

"She's not involved with us? And we aren't involved with her? Whatever happens to her happens, we don't need to help or care?"

"Not unless we feel obligated to."

I slowly nodded. "So that's it?"

"That's it."

That was it. My mother was out of the picture and I lived with my father.

I never have to see her again.

I can stay with Angelo.

She's irrelevant now.

"Woah, what was that?" He stared at me.

"What?"

"You're face just- I don't know. It looks like you just came to life. You look more alive."

Well that's good.

"I kind of feel like a weights been lifted off of me." I wiped my eyes again.

"That's all it took? Us cutting off Adaline?"

Hearing her name usually made me anxious and afraid of what would come next.

"Yeah, I guess." I chuckled.

"You haven't really looked like that since before- you know, him." Angelo pointed out. "I'm glad. I missed it."

"Yeah well you're a good mom, dad. Or would it be a good dad, mom? I don't know, the possibilities seem to be endless at this point. I'll come up with something, don't worry."

"I'm not worried." He smiled again. "I'll go order the pizza. But it's almost five, so thin crust only. And I need to see you eat at least a side salad-,"

I gave him my puppy eyes.

"Don't do that. Stop doing that."

I didn't stop.

"Look at these brown eyes, come on."

He groaned. "God damn it. Fine, stuffed crust." He took out his phone. "Everyone else's kid wants clothes, mine wants unhealthy food, the fuck did I do?" He mumbled.

Thank god. I'm starving.

Only a couple of chapters left :)