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JOAN

The morning comes, and Yenni shows up to help me prepare.

War is long gone by the time I get up. I dreamt about his body like a bitch in heat, and I probably humped his leg in my sleep. Instead of tapping my ass, War tapped his lips against my forehead and left to work.

Although Yenni insists, I reject a bath and walk outside. I'm going to get dirty throughout the day, anyway. The water can go to someone who needs it.

The camp is alive this morning, although thick clouds flower the sky. I run through my jobs and think about how in the world I'm going to convince War to lose his dick inside me. I've never seduced a man, and I don't know if batting my lashes will get me very far with War.

I'm not the only one struggling to seduce, either. Yenni practically goes cross-eyed whenever she spots her crush. It's the cutest thing. I don't know why this Master can't see how great of a girl Yenni is, but it probably has something to do with the drug they take that keeps them from feeling much.

"Yenni," I call for her as I wash the last few tunics. "Can you remind me why Masters take that infamous drug?"

"Well..." she takes the empty basket from me. "I know little since Entertainers don't take it, but the Masters use the drug for birth control and to block many emotions. They got on it in their early years to block the pain of feeling alienated. Zolan is proud of its strong Masters, but many still consider them freaks and look at them as such."

That makes sense. I know War has been weaning off the medicine and allowing himself to feel for me. It's a dangerous move on his part, but he's never been a conventional male.

"Do you think the other Masters would like to feel something other than numbness? Like fondness for each other?"

Maybe I should be asking War these questions. The problem is that I don't want to make him sad by arousing old, bitter memories.

"Hmm... Perhaps not. There is too much loss in their ranks. No one wants to feel the pain of watching a brother getting torn apart in war."

I agree, and I feel bad for romanticizing feeling emotions, but what about the future?

"Do Masters ever retire?"

Yenni Shrugs. "In old age when their sex drive and blood-thirst decreases. When they are young, they are in a constant state of uneasiness. They need a purpose, and that is why they make such great warriors."

I don't like the idea of them serving their life as soldiers for a Queen who doesn't give a shit about them.

Am I being nosy by daydreaming about happy Masters who fight not to keep themselves busy and distracted, but to keep their families safe? Maybe.

"When they retire... do they settle with someone? A significant other?"

Yenni's face crumbles with sadness. "Most choose to die alone. Suicide at old age is common. They would not want to pass the curse of the numbness onto children, so they don't have any. The birthrate of Masters has been decreasing over the decades."

But being a Master is not a curse. The numbness is self-inflicted by the medication.

I'll have to talk to War about this. Masters deserve better and should find someone worth fighting for— a significant other. Maybe War can help me find therapy for these guys. That conversation will have to wait, though. Things are still sensitive between us, and we have bigger fish to fry.

Over the next two weeks, Yenni follows me around and The General works long hours. The war is making a turn for the better, and the camp is starting to see the end of it.

My plan to seduce War has been an embarrassing failure. I put on sexy Entertainer outfits, but instead of ripping the transparent cloth off me and jumping my bones, War always clenches his fists and orders me to change. This has happened four nights, and it guts me every time.

He refuses to sleep with me. The furthest he went over the past weeks is fingering me. When I ask for more, he says I'm not stretched enough and commands me to go to sleep. Sometimes, he stops me from touching him, too.

I'm ready for the boldest form of intimacy because I trust and adore him, but nothing I communicate makes him want to take things further. Every rejection he gives makes me feel unwanted and ugly.

I suspect he's holding because he fears hurting me again— a noble reason, because this is War. Although I've assured him I'm ready and willing to take things slow, he steps his foot down.

Today I think I'm ready to step my foot down, too. We've kept our relationship a secret for weeks, and War gave me the option to go public whenever I'm ready. Today, things change.

I wait for the afternoon, when camp is wrapping up and preparing to retire for the night. It's hard to find War because he has no specific schedule and is often working at different parts of camp, so I look around with Yenni. When I find him walking past a few tents, I lock my eyes on him and run my hands down my skirt. As usual, some entertainers bend down to offer themselves to him, but War breezes past them without sparing a glance. His eyes find mine.

I begin walking, headed right for him. Yenni follows me, straightening her back when she spots her— our, boss.

When War crosses paths with me, I don't smile shyly and walk on as I usually do. I turn my back to him, bend down, grab my knees, and wait.

The camp stills as Masters and Entertainers stop and watch. I'm publicly offering my body to War. Many women have tried this dozens of times, only to get silently rejected.

War says nothing. Is he eyeing my ass right now? Can he see the wet spot gathered at the back of my brown dress?

I've thought about doing this for a long time. If War walks away, I will live with the bitter humiliation. He is worth it, and if hearing me say this won't change his mind, then maybe action will.

A minute stretches by. A whole minute. I know because I counted to sixty.

Sixty one...

Sixty two...

The whispers are flowing through camp like tornadoes. They're small, but just as destructive.

I refuse to regret my bravado. I will remain bent until War takes me, or walks away.

"This is what you want, Joan?"

His voice blows a shiver down my back.

"Yes." I don't hesitate.

My footing falters when my hips are pulled back. He has taken my offer. I'm so happy I could spill tears down my cheeks to match the stream of slick between my thighs.

He jerks my hips and presses his bulge against my butt. Although my dress covers my bottom, I'm not protected from the feeling of his bulge.

His hand slips up my skirt from behind.

"Fine. I'll take you right here, right now."

My eyes widen. Being fucked by him in public isn't what I had in mind. I thought he would carry me to a private space, but The General surprises me yet again.


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