Amelia

"This place is sick," Yasmin exclaims as we walk up the freshly painted white staircase of my families new house.

"It doesn't compare to your house, though."

"I'm bored of my house. This is new and awesome." The upstairs is a lot smaller than the Fuentes's house and only has three bedrooms. My bedroom is the one closest to the staircase and beside the bathroom. At least I don't have to share this bathroom because my parents have one in their room.

My room is plain and painted white, only my double bed with black sheets is set against one of the walls, and boxes cover the floor. I don't have the motivation to unpack yet.

"Chrissy told me to force you to come to his party," she says, plopping down on my bed.

"Chrissy?"

"Your friend with the red hair?"

My eyebrows shoot up. "Red? That's his real name?"

"Yeah... Christopher. You didn't know?"

"No." I fall down beside her, lying on my back. "And he's already been bugging me about going but I can't be bothered."

"You can't be bothered doing anything anymore. Stop being boring."

"Since when do you and him talk anyway?"

She shrugs. "We don't. He just texted me about you not coming. Why, are you jealous?"

"Of course not," I roll my eyes. "He only wants me there because he wants me to bring you."

"Sounds like jealousy to me."

"It's really not. He's not my type."

"What is your type? Tall, dark and handsome moody spanish guys?"

I close my eyes and sigh, the image of Alex creeping into my mind, remembering the things he said to me. My chest starts to hurt.

"Too soon?"

"Know what? I think I will go tonight." It's better than sitting in on a Saturday night drowning in my thoughts about Alex, right? "Will he be there?"

She understands i'm talking about Alex. Saying his name out loud seems like a lot of effort. "Probably not. He definitely won't be if he knows you're there." She laughs then her smile drops when she sees my face. "Sorry, I just mean-"

"It's fine. I get it."

She nods, standing up. "I'm gonna go home and get ready. See you there?" I nod a yes and she leaves.

"That was a quick visit," Mom points out, standing at my door a few minutes later.

"Things are just weird with us since what happened."

"She's Alex's sister; of course it will be weird."

"I'm going out tonight," I say, changing the subject.

"Where?"

"My friends having this small party-"

"No. Not after last time."

"C'mon, Mom. That won't happen again – I'll be more careful." She sighs, folding her arms. "Can't you just trust me?"

"I want you back here at eleven. And no drinking."

"Done."

+++

"Hi there, Christopher," I smirk, approaching Red as he pours drinks with two other guys and a girl.

"Don't call me that, new girl," he screws up his face.

"You gonna introduce us?" One of the guys says.

Red gives them a look. "Amelia, this is Lewis and Jack. Jack's cousin Naomi," he nods to the girl.

"Nice to finally meet you," Jack smiles and hugs me.

"Don't let Alex see you do that," Naomi scoffs, glaring at me. What have I ever done to her?

"They broke up," Red clarifies, giving me a warm smile.

"Duh. Won't stop him from going crazy though."

"What makes you think that?" I ask, it unintentionally coming out rude.

"Because everyone knows everything about you both," she laughs, still glaring. "Did you think you're the only one who knows Alex? I reckon most girls who've been going to school with him for years know him better than you. He only likes you 'cause you're pretty and other guys want you."

Anger rises up inside of me. How dare she talk about Alex like she knows us? Maybe Alex did like me because of that but that doesn't mean she needs to say it out loud.

"Shut it, Naomi," Red says then looks behind me. "Looks like you just ruined your chances with him."

I look beside me as Val steps forward, his glare set on Naomi. "Why don't you keep my brothers name outa your mouth?"

She rolls her eyes before walking away, going straight to a group of girls who all turn to look at us.

"Hey, Val," Red says. "Where's your sister at?"

"The only place you're gon' be seeing her is in your dreams, Chrissy."

"I saw her in more places than that," Lewis smirks and Val looks away.

"You're such a gentleman, aren't you?" I roll my eyes. I hate the way some guys just openly talk about their experiences with girls.

"Sorry, babe. Want me to make it up to you?"

I almost throw up in my mouth and Val clears his throat, taking his phone from his pocket. "Talk to you later," he says to me and walks away, putting his phone to his ear.

"See ya," I say and look at Red.

"Want a drink?" He laughs, pouring vodka and lemonade into a cup.

"I told my Mom I wouldn't drink."

"Didn't know you were such a good girl," Jack says, looking me up and down. For once i'm only wearing jeans and a tank top. I have a hoodie in my car just in case, because every girl needs a hoodie on the side.

"There's nothing wrong with a good girl."

"Definitely not," he smirks. The way he's smirking and looking over my figure reminds me of Alex. Of course Alex doesn't do it in the creepy way Jack is but it's the same thing. God, I miss him.

"You sure?" Red asks, holding out the cup.

I bite my lip. If it'll get my mind off of Alex...

I take the cup and drink it fast, cringing from the taste. Jack looks at Red with the smirk still placed firmly on his face.

"Amelia? You okay?" Red asks as I lean against the counter later that night, staring at the ground.

I nod, leaning into him. "I just need another drink."

"You thinking about Alex?" The sound of his name hurts even more this time. I squeeze my eyes shut, putting my hand over my chest as it hurts so much. I want to drink until I can't feel it. Red puts his arm around my shoulders and I bury my face into his chest to hide my tears. Why the hell am I letting myself cry?

"If Alex can't see how great you are then he doesn't deserve you."

"What if no one sees how great I am?" I sniffle.

"They will."

I look up at his face. "How do you not have a girlfriend?"

"'Cause you won't fuckin' set me up with Yasmin," he laughs.

"Where is she? I'll work on it right now," I make a move to leave but he pulls me back.

"It's fine. You're upset so I want to stay here."

I smile, turning to the drinks and pouring vodka into shot glasses. "I feel like doing something stupid."

He takes one of the shots and I do too, the vodka not being as bad now that I've drank a few cups.

"I need to move on," I continue, pouring two more shots and we take them.

"Okay, that's enough," he laughs, stopping my hand from grabbing the bottle again.

"I feel fine, so it's not enough."

"You won't be in five minutes when that vodka hits you." I sigh and take his hand, pulling him out of the kitchen and into the living room. "What are we doing?"

"Dancing." I put my hands on him and he squints his lazy eyes then shrugs, messily putting his hands on my waist and we start to move. I spot Santiago watching me from across the room as he stands there drinking with a cute brunette girl. The look he's giving me... it's like i'm not allowed to move on and dance with another guy. Alex and I are not together, Santiago! I can do what the fuck I want!

"You're thinking out loud," Red tells me.

"Quiet, Chrissy." I giggle. "Chrissy. It's weird calling you that."

"Well it's weird calling you Amelia."

I freeze when I spot Alex in the crowd of people.

Then realise it's not Alex, it's just Santiago again. Maybe they look alike, but not that alike. Am I seriously seeing him in other people now?

"Something wrong?"

"Everything," I sigh. Not even all this alcohol can take my mind off of Alex. Will anything? I look back into Red's eyes. Maybe he will. I need to move on.

I pull him by the collar until his lips are smashed into mine. Our lips move together at first, until he pulls away. "I know i'm your rebound and all, but I don't want to make things awkward between us."

I push my body against his and he takes in a sharp breath. "It won't be." Our lips meet again, my tongue slipping into his mouth. He kisses so differently from Alex. Shit. Why am I still thinking about Alex? Maybe I can just pretend it's him, and that'll make me feel better.

"Let's go somewhere private," I whisper against his mouth. He's hesitant before letting me pull him to the staircase.

Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Why the fuck am I doing this?

This is so wrong. I don't even like Chrissy in that way. He's like the closest friend i've made at school other than the Fuentes's. And now I'm reminded of why i'm about to get into bed with my friend.

Alex Fuentes. That's why.

Chrissy – Red – whatever i'm calling him now – holds me against the inside of his bedroom door, kissing me hard and fast. He pulls back when my hand grabs the bottom of his shirt.

"This isn't right." He breaths, shaking his head. "I know you're just upset. Why don't we play snakes and ladders or something instead?"

I cover my face with my hands from embarrassment. I wish I was with Alex right now. He'd tell me not to be embarrassed. I start to take deep breaths as I sob into my hands.

"Amelia, don't-"

"I can't–" I whimper. "I miss him so much I can't even breath."

He holds me and I wish so much it was Alex. "I'm sorry I made you come here. You should be at home."

"It's not your fault – I wanted to come." I sniffle, trying to stop myself from crying. "Sorry i've been such a mess tonight. You don't have to put up with me."

"What are friends for? How about you drink some water?" I nod and he takes me back downstairs after i've cleaned the running mascara from my face. He sits the glass of water in front of me on the table and I thank him.

"Chrissy!" Someone shouts and he looks back at me.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Chrissy leaves and I drink the rest of my water, regretting getting drunk. All it did was make everything worse.

"Yikes. Someone hit a bad one," a male voice with the slightest spanish accent in it says. He sits on the chair beside mine, almost falling.

"I need to get home."

"I can tell. Have you been crying?"

"No." I hide my face more in my arms.

"Sure about that?"

"Alex," I choke.

"Interesting."

"I thought drinking would make it better, and it did at first but now it's so much worse."

He puts his hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, that's why I don't drink much. It makes things worse for me too."

"So what do you do?"

He puts a pill down on the table in front of me. "It's ecstasy. Have you took it before?"

"No." I look into the eyes that look too much like Alex's, feeling pain shoot through me again. "Will it make me feel better?"

"Sí," Val nods excitedly, his dark eyes alert.

I hesitantly pick up the pill. "Is it safe?"

"Safe enough," he laughs.

I don't give myself enough time to think about why I shouldn't do it before I'm putting it in my mouth and swallowing it. "Don't leave me alone, Val."

"I won't," he takes my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. "I won't let go all night."

I nod. "How long 'til it works?"

"'bout half an hour."

"Okay." I gulp, feeling myself start to worry. The worry doesn't last though, and soon I'm completely care free.

+++

oooooooh, what do you think about her taking drugs? how do u think alex will feel when he finds out?

teaser: alex picks them up from the party

vote, comment, follow

ly
-e