Things Tanya has said to Danny and the Foolish Five

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* "No, Max, you cannot dress up as Santa Clause's side piece and slide down the chimneyβ€” what do you mean 'why not'? I have two pages worth of reasons on why that is a horrible idea."

* "Noah, I understand that Danny is at the age where he is no longer sweet and innocent, and is now rather irritating, but for the love of God, do not throw your brother down the stairs!"

* "Nevaeh, please control your boyfriend! No, do not smack him with the tennis racket!"

* "Megan, what the hell are you doing with my bra?"

* "Careful, Max. They're stillβ€”" "OW!" "β€”hot."

* "When did I become a single, stressed mother of six?"

* "Dylan, would you just dump Joey's sorry arse already? A 'break' is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

* "Jesus Christ, Daniel King! Put some pants on, for God's sake!"

* "No, Megan, you cannot kill Max. You're the one dating him."

* "No, Max, you cannot wear your boxers around the house. Why not? One, this is not your house. Two, no one would like to see your Powerpuff Girls boxers. How do I know you have Powerpuff Girls boxers? I do your laundry half the time. You and Dylan practically live here!"

* "It is not okay to draw obscenities on your brother's forehead with lipstick while he is sleeping."

* "Nevaeh, why has Noah been in the shower for the last twenty minutes, screaming like a banshee about freezing water?"

* "Do not make churros in the kitchen at four in the morning ever again."

* "Why is the entire bathroom wALL COVERED IN PISS?!"

* "Noah, using your brother's mattress as a sled to slide down the stairs is not acceptable. Nor are actual sleds."

* "Stop blasting Ariana Grande in the house. I'm sick of hearing 'Can't a princess be a bad bitch,' when I come home from work every day."

* "Nevaeh, Max, it is not okay to pee out of the second story window. There is a bathroom in this house for a reason. Use it."

* "Why is there a butter knife sticking out of Danny's door? Daniel, what did you do to your brother this time?"

* "Dylan, why are you wearing a dress? Actually, I don't care what you're wearing, I just hope you're wearing underwear."

* "Batman Under the Red Hood has been playing on t.v for the last twelve hours. Turn it off! I don't care if you think Jason's hot, Nevaeh. Shut up, Noah, stop getting jealous of a fictional character."

* "Dylan! For the love of all that is holy! Dump him!"

* "No, Megan, you cannot dump lukewarm coffee on Max."

* "Max, do not throw your girlfriend down the chimney!"

* "Noah, you let Danny, Nevaeh and Max buy fifteen boxes of Lucky Charms? I don't care if they all gave you the puppy face at the same time! I don't even know what to say."

* Whispers: "for Heaven's sake." Yells loudly: "Why is there ground beef in the dryer?!"

* "No, we cannot put a freezer dedicated to Eggos in the attic."

* "No, you cannot shoot your brother in the eye with Nerf gun bullets. I don't care if he deserves it. No."

* "We are not buying a chandelier just so the six of you can swing on it while singing 'Chandelier' by Sia."

* "Dear lord, why is there ham stuck on the ceiling?"

* "Nevaeh, Megan, please seperate your friends before they pluck each other's eyes out!"

* "You five got lost when you went camping and ended up being behind the university the whole time? How?!"

* "Seriously, how did I end up becoming a single, stressed mother of six?"

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