🎀CHAPTER 9🎀

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Dorian pulled up to a private hotel just outside Colorado. I don't have time to open the car door, and Dorian's in front of it to open it. I accept it with gratitude since I'm not used to this kind of behavior.

I'm not saying he's abusing me, but he's not one of the easiest people.

He's holding me by the hand, and we're walking towards the hotel entrance. He didn't even talk and look at the girl in the lobby. He grabbed a card from the corner of the counter and we headed for the elevator.

I'm supposed to feel weird or at least ask him when he arranged all this. But I did nothing. I followed him like hypnotized.

Dorian suddenly halts outside the door of the room. Before he put the unlock card he asks me unannounced, "Do you feel?"

I nod my head, bringing to my mind what he has told me. To feel when he approaches me, to feel when he touches me. To feel when it gets inside me. To feel even when I'm not with him.

The door unlocks and we go in. Right now passion demands satisfaction. A satisfaction I take full advantage of it.

I feel like a thief when I get a little joy out of this passion. Deep down, I feel like it doesn't belong to me.

I'm sure I'll never own it.

From the first moment I saw Dorian, I knew that everything I felt for him would always be a package of feelings that would not belong to me. I'll try a little of the sensation and then leave it out of me.

I couldn't blame anyone, not even Dorian himself. It was my choice to get into this.

Many times I'm thinking, 'What harm could be done? If it doesn't work, I just skip it and move on.'

No, it's not like that.

When you're feeling something for someone, all the possible 'suffering' you will go through seems like just obstacles. It's difficult to understand the power of pain, and you think you'll get over it. It's a myth! It's not true.

The emotions look like leeches that have the nerve to cling to the soul and selfishly require you to get upset and they satisfy the bitterness that they cause to overflow from within you.

Right now I see Dorian staring at me with lust, with longing. He almost loves me, I dare say. It doesn't matter that I don't know the rest of him.

Which is the book that could explain why we feel what we feel in love? No one can. Because in love, you're always a rookie. You have this stupid idea that all this will never end.

If you ask me right now how I feel about my relationship with Dorian and what would I do if all this ended, I would say something like a woman in love. 'There's always time for something that will never end.' This automatically declares my will to fight any obstacles that arise. I mean, I have to be patient to earn his love and all.

It'll never work if Dorian doesn't feel the same way.

I want to know why when I'm learning more and more about him, falling for him, and caring about him too much.

I make him a drink the way he likes it, and I give it to him in silence. He grabs it without looking at me and drinks it in one shot. That means he wants more. I take the glass and fill it up again. I add two ice cubes and stir them with my finger. The moment I try to lick my finger, Dorian grabs it and licks it for me.

I explain that as a movement of passion on his part towards me. It's just a cute movement, someone would say.

How silly I am!

I'm standing in front of Dorian and staring at him. I'm waiting for the next move.

I mean, if I just run and hug him and kiss him without him telling me, what will happen?

I take my chances and I get close to him in bed. He sits half-spread holding his empty glass and staring into the void. I'm riding him and I'm sitting on his horny erection with a leadership style that confirms that the upper hand this time will be mine.

Dorian stands calm, with a sideways smile playing on his lips. His immobility gives me his approval to move on.

I lay my palms on the iliopsoas muscles alternately. I just pet him from the bottom up to his waist. Dorian inflates his lungs and holds his breath. He's slowly exhaling; he seems to enjoy it.

How strange, I must think about it long enough before I touch him.

"Do you feel?" he whispers sensually.

"I feel it, Dorian," I answer in the same tone.

He grabs me by the hips and turns me so that now he's on top of me. He sticks his forehead to mine and rests it there. This moment is enough to make me feel that he almost... loves me?! I can sense his feeling. I can see it in his eyes.

What scares me about Dorian's gaze is that he can see what I'm thinking at any time. I have the feeling that he is hiding his thoughts somewhere in my head, and besides controlling, he can instantly see everything.

I sink my head against the pillow and I enjoy him getting inside me and filling me the body and soul.

His palms fit perfectly on my chest and my body responds instantly. He slowly comes out of me and grabs a condom from the bedside table and tears it with his teeth. He applies it to his erection quickly, and he gets back inside me. "You're too tight," I hear him whispering. I'm flickering my eyelashes in response. "Turn around," he commands me and I stand on all fours. He sticks me on him and licks me across my neck. I breathe slowly and relax. His tongue moistens my lobe, and his breath simultaneously warms my ear.

We're kneeling on the bed, and it gives me the creeps that my back touches his chest. He grabs me by the chin and gently turns my face toward his. He tenderly lays his lips on mine and abruptly shoves his tongue into my mouth.

He kisses me passionately as he gets in and out of me. His one hand is attached to my chest, and the other caresses me low in my clitoris, claiming all his satisfaction from my body.

He turns me over so I can look at him, and he takes one of my legs over his shoulder. He gently rubs his cheek on my shank and looks at me. He's starting to pound me hard.

My orgasm makes Dorian get in and out of me with ease without stopping. His breath is falling hot on my face.

"Come on, fuck... Show me..." I hear him say through his teeth; this is an order for me to give my everything.

He pulls my foot off his shoulder, and I open my legs to the end. I immerse my nails in his shoulders and move fast, screaming.

Dorian makes two moves and sinks into me. We finish at the same time. He slumps on me and rests his arms around my head. Our hearts are beating fast and we're trying to find our breath.

And while he just satisfies himself, I feel his breath warming my feelings.

How differently people experience a deed they share! We make the same moves, but we don't all have the same emotional background.

I would dare say right now that... he feels. He feels me. He wants me. Maybe he loves me? Because of this feeling alone, I could build my life and take care of it as long as I exist.

And as if I was speaking aloud while he was making love to me, Dorian mentally heard everything. Falling apart beside me with satisfaction, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Always be the boss of your emotion. Never let it be a boss and you an employee. You will always dictate to it, and that will carry out orders."

As another soothsayer, he gave his answer, and I landed abruptly on Earth. It makes me think again.

"What were you dictating while we were making love?" I ask. For some unknown reason, I immediately regretted it.


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