"It doesn't matter now, Stephan. Leave Dorian alone. Let him do what he wants. So do I," I tell him and light a cigarette.

If it were another woman in my position now, she would have a whole bunch of reasons to blame Dorian, but for me, it's totally useless to do that. I mean, what's the point of blaming him?

I'd just get even more 'darken' inside of me than I already am.

"Reva, I really want to get to know you better and... I just like you. If you're ready for something like that, I really want us to be together," he finally says, and I didn't fall out on what I thought about his intentions.

He narrows his eyes and lights a cigarette. He's not stressed at all, and he's careful with his words, but I like that he presents honestly what he thinks.

Of course, now it's my turn to talk, isn't it?

Even if I wanted to do something with Stephan, it wouldn't work because it would always remind me of Dorian.

I've been struggling to get him out of my mind for so long now, and anything that reminds me of him just finds refuge in my soul, and it hurts. I don't want to see anything related to Dorian. As silly as it sounds, it's just a defense of myself that makes me not give up trying to extricate myself from this fatal crush.

"Stephan, whatever I tell you, you won't understand it, and it's all right," I start timidly avoiding him.

"I want to understand, believe me," he insists.

"I don't want to stop seeing you, I don't have anything against you anyway, but I don't-"

"But you don't want to have a relationship with me," he interrupts me aptly.

"It's not about you. I don't want to have a relationship in general, I don't want to get into the process again," I respond candidly.

"Is that it or just don't you want to because I'm related to Dorian?" he asks me as if he has read my mind.

"Dorian is done for me, Stephan. I'm just not ready to get into another relationship, and besides, I saw you from the beginning as a friend. I never thought differently," I explain to him without feeling that I am offending him.

I mean, how can someone accept rejection? In any case, it will hurt, even a little bit, but I don't want Stephan to feel diminished.

"You got it wrong emotionally when it comes to Dorian and because you got hurt you avoid love," he says with a sense of affirmation. "It's not that you didn't see Dorian's conduct. You just insisted on turning a blind eye and faced it with innocence all this with him," he continues to try to psychologize me, gaining time to convince me that he has an understanding towards me.

To be honest, I don't like what he's doing. If I ever wanted to have a conversation like this, Stephan would be the last person I would choose.

I have a foolish feeling that I am talking to Dorian and not to him. It's just that Stephan is related to him, and it's affecting me.

"The more innocent you are, the more suspicious you become, Stephan," I answer, finding my self-control again.

"That means you're suspicious of me, too," he says in a tone that goes without saying.

"Not exactly, Stephan. You're not the main problem here. You asked me before if I was ready for something new. Well, I'm not. Not just with you, but with no one right now. Let's remain friends; I think we can do that," I try my best to avoid Stephan with as much politeness as I can.

He smiles faintly at me and takes another sip of his coffee.

"Any other news? How is Ridge doing?" I'm changing the subject so I can get us both out of the awkward moment.

"Except he broke up with Marinell, he's fine," he responds.

I'm surprised. "When did they break up?" I ask.

"A few days after that night, which you caught Dorian with the other woman."

I hear his name again, and the disappointment returns. That's why I don't want to see anything or anyone related to Dorian anymore. By the time this is all over, it will be for me one step forward and ten back just by hearing his name.

"What happened between them?" I ask.

"Marinell kept a lot of secrets from Ridge, and when he found out that she also passed by Dorian's bed, I think that was the parting shot of their relationship," Stephan explains to me.

I wonder, is there a woman who hasn't been through Dorian's bed?

"You know, I don't see her anymore. We've moved away," I say.

"Good for you. That was our constant query with Ridge. You had nothing to do with each other. You didn't match as friends, you were different people," he says. "As for the rest you met, Elva is no longer in the casino or other Dorian's business. He hates her," he continues.

"He didn't seem to hate her when he laid her at his feet," an ironic expression escapes me, and I curse myself for it.

"Yes, you're right," he says and also smiles ironically. "But what I understand about Dorian is that no matter how many women he has, he still feels lonely," he continues to talk about him, and I have a feeling he's doing it because he thinks I like hearing about Dorian.

Of course, in what he said now, he could only give me bitterness, but I am not in the mood to continue this conversation, especially with him.

"He may not have been right with you, but I believe he still has feelings for you. When he was with you, he didn't feel alone, he was happy, and that was evident in his behavior. But now he may be among a lot of people, but he still doesn't fill his void," Stephan continues almost with a tone of regret for Dorian. It's complicated, I can't figure it out.

"He'll come round, Stephan. Besides, people don't care about you when you're alone. They care about you when they are alone themselves," I answer thoughtfully.

Stephan agrees with that. He drinks some more coffee and gets up to leave.

"Good to see you, Reva. And just think of my proposal," he makes a last effort, so to give him hope that we might someday be together.

That's not gonna happen.

"Thank you, Stephan. I'm glad to see you, too," I say and escort him to the door.

We shake hands and I close the door. I lean my back against the door, and I let out a sigh of relief that at last, this uncomfortable meeting has come to an end.

It doesn't do me any good to talk about Dorian.

I remember all those feelings I felt, and I still regret that I couldn't satisfy them. They remained in me haunted to beg a hope that would look like a chance of their redemption.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry to have to send you away... I'm sorry I didn't satisfy you, but I couldn't help it. Now it is imperative to find the strength to move on...

The endurance of the soul imposes oblivion.

I cannot promise you when I shall be ready to wake you again, to satisfy you.

Don't; don't cry anymore inside of me, Feelings. You're in pain, I know.

It's better to be alone for as long as it takes. I got bogged down, and I have to come back.