Fucking damn me no! No! Why did you fucking say it? You shouldn't have. No, you can't love me, how can that be?

The confused expression on my face is seen immediately, and Reva understands it. I quickly pour a drink and take it down in one gulp to confuse her before she starts concluding.

Calm down, asshole Dorian.

I lick defiantly my lips and take down my tracksuit along with my underwear. I grab the glass out of her hands to unstick her. She stood without moving by looking at me, and that makes me more nervous.

I lift her dress and take it off. She sits on the couch and helps me unbutton her bra. I do it quickly, and I throw it somewhere in the living room in an unknown direction.

She's lying back again, and I fucking love to see her exposed like that in front of me. She relaxes her body and looks at me submissive waiting for me to do whatever shit I want. She's not reacting. She fucking loves it.

I grab her by the hips and shove my face between her legs. A groaning escapes her mouth. She grabs my hair with her hands, pulling it lightly.

I giggle like an asshole out of satisfaction at her reaction and without losing time, I stick my tongue in her clitoris. She moans and makes short breaths as if she were running.

His tongue gets in and out of my sensitive area, and all the emotions start jumping up and down inside me. They get their healing. And this is Dorian.

He raises his head and licks his lips obscenely as if he ate something delicious.

You don't drain me easily, Dorian. I'll always be wet for you. Always...

It sounds as if nothing can separate us.

You never know, the inner voice whispers.

I don't pay any attention anymore. I let it say whatever shit it wants. I just keep enjoying a hot Dorian.

He lets wet kisses on my belly and cups his lips on the side of my waist. He bites my skin a little, and a tickling laugh escapes me.

He pulls his lips hard, and I just know what he's doing. He leaves on me once more his mark.

"Ouch," I stammer in a hoarse voice.

Dorian pays no attention. He continues to let out wet kisses and reaches my chest. I wrap my arms around his neck and press his face between my chest. I caress his toned shoulders and end up resting my hands on his back.

He abruptly joins our lips and it's just the moment I've surrendered my soul and body. He removes for seconds his face scarcely from mine, looks at me with burning eyes, and kisses me again more aggressively.

I can feel his erection between my legs. He's not getting inside me. He rubs his erection on my sensitive area, and I feel to be wetter than before. He understands it at once, and I feel the upper part of his penis at having found the path which will make us again become one body, one soul.

He barely gets inside me and I've already started to 'cry' down there. Dorian understands that and gets inside me to the end. It takes my breath away. He comes out of me excruciatingly slowly and looks with an oblique smile down at our union.

"You soaked me up," he says comfortably, and I can't help but laugh.

He comes inside me again, capturing my arms above my head. I like it because no matter what he says to me, it doesn't make me ashamed. I feel like I'm one with him.

But what about him? Does he feel like being one with you? The voice says in my head.

Say what you want. I can't hear you now.

He's my passion, my sweet passion. Dorian. Either he'll kill me, or he'll resurrect me.

He won't kill your body. He will kill your soul, the voice says again.

As much as I want to hear it, I can't. I just can't. I'm here with him, and I want it so much that my desire manages to overshadow the inner voices of my mind.

Dorian keeps making love to me, and I just let myself into it and live it. It's not just my body that lives it, it's my soul that lives it.

                                                                                    ***

After we fucked each other, I pulled her into the bathroom and we took a shower. Why do I fucking feel this way? What the fuck is going on?

Why do I feel this fucking sense inside of me? What the fuck is wrong with me? Do I feel something? Has she succeeded in making me feel something?

No, fuck, no! No emotions. No, I can't go back into this fucking process. I swore to myself never to fall into that pain chain again. What the fuck now? What is wrong with me? Can't I even handle it?

No, it's not like that.

I can.

I abruptly take Reva by the hand and direct her to a room where not a fly has entered but me. Besides, that's why I brought her here today.

She follows me unspoken. She doesn't get upset or ask me anything. That temper of hers is gonna drive me crazy. It shows confidence in her character and honesty in what she wants, and that makes me feel weak in front of her.

As usual, chicks have no idea what they're doing or what they want. They're clueless and easy targets to play with.

Reva makes a difference because unfortunately for me, she knows what she fucking wants, and that puts conditions on how I'm gonna handle her.

She forces you to be yourself. She brings out who you really are. And that's not in your best interest, the voice inside my head confirms, and I get mad.

I unlock the door, and before opening it, I look at Reva.

"Entering this space, you can get whatever you want," I tell her candidly.

She is very serious because she doesn't know what awaits her, but she remains calm and ready to face everything.

I know Dorian well now. He's unpredictable, and I expect everything from him. I'm anxious to see what's behind that door.

The door opens, and Dorian takes me by the hand. He presses a button on a device and spreads hidden lighting in soft white. He closes the door behind me and lets me walk into this room.

Is it by chance that as soon as I entered I was pierced by an unwilling frost?

No, it's not, the voice in my head confirms.

At first glance, you feel like you've entered a vault guarded by draconian security measures, and without approval, not even the air passes.

I'm scanning the space carefully, starting from the left. I approach and see a glass urn, like those that jewelers have, and gaze at the countless jewels of gold, the rubies, the emeralds, and the diamonds in the corner glittering imposingly.

I touch gently against the long glass box and caress with my palms its glossy iron frame. I open the glass lid and take in my hands a necklace made all out of gold. On its tops, it has isometrically placed stones of rubies, and in its clasp a crystal that joins them. I put it back in carefully and close the lid of the glass urn.

I advance slowly toward the middle of the room. The wall is full of wooden drawers. I open one of them and see in the row placed gold bars. I don't even look at their carats; it would be useless; they are already large pieces in size. I close the drawer and don't do the same with the rest because I understand that in those drawers there will be something similar.

In front of this wall, there is a large wooden box. I open it and I see stacks of bundles of money up to the top. I'm closing it fast. It's a completely natural reaction. I almost get spooked by the many stacks of money like it's stolen or something. I was never dazzled by such a sight.

I move to the right of the room. There is a large office. It's more like a dining room, I'd say. On one side, there is a stack of papers carefully arranged, and next to it a pelmet.

I grab the pelmet and observe the people pictured. 'Bernard and Louisa Green', I read at the bottom.

The imposing man holds a little boy in his arms. The woman next to him affectionately touches the little boy and from her smile, you can understand that she was very happy at the moment that someone was immortalizing this photo.

It doesn't take me long to realize they're Dorian's parents because he has the same smile as his mother. At least the few times I've seen him smile. I'm leaving the pelmet back where it was.

Next to it, there is a relatively small box. I open it and see badges in various shapes. It must be gold or platinum, too. They all have the letters 'Green Family' carved on them. I close it and leave it in place.

Near it, there is another larger box. I also open it and raise my one eyebrow enigmatically. It's full of diamonds. I take one in my hand and twist it in my fingers, noticing how the scanty light of the room glows upon it. I put it in the box, close it and leave it in place.

At first glance at the stack of documents I noticed before, I understand that they are businesses and companies belonging to Dorian.

I take a breath and turn slowly to see Dorian with crossed arms and clenched chin looking down.

There's a deafening silence in this cold room, and it's starting to choke me. I feel the air cut off little by little, and if the silence continues, I shall faint.

"Now what, Dorian?" I ask to break this annoying silence.

"Take what you want. You can just take whatever you want out of here," he tells me in a hoarse voice.

"Are you sure?" I ask already knowing what I want to get.

"Absolutely," he replies quickly and firmly.

"Good, then. Open the door, I already know what I want," I say confidently.

Taking a deep breath, I approach him slowly, untie his crossed arms and grasp one of his. I pull him out and close the door behind me. He looks at me enigmatically.

"You didn't get anything," he tells me.

"Oh, yes, I did," I answer him with an oblique smile.

He looks at me keenly as a sign to tell him more.

"I've just got what I want out of there, and I'm holding his hand. And wherever they put me, so would I," I give him the confirmation he certainly did not expect.

I raise our tied hands a little and look him in the eyes. He does the same, but he is troubled. He frowns as if something is bothering him or hurting him.

I'm instantly permeated by an icy aura of frustration at his reaction. He doesn't seem happy that among all that wealth, I chose him.

But I did what I really wanted. I'd choose Dorian even if they gave me all the riches in the world.

In the difficulties of the soul and solitude, and emptiness, how much warmth can a diamond give you?

In the panic and sadness of isolation, how much power can a piece of gold give you?

You see, it is thus the things that wealth may shine, but it is perishable; it doesn't live forever.

If things were different, then why is it still so precious and difficult to find your soul mate?

The difficulty in itself signifies the corresponding value of finding your soul mate, and this is timeless.

I chose Dorian.

But inside me, I know Dorian didn't choose me. He may not have said it; he may still be holding me in his life and be seemingly together, but the effect I feel from all this is the same.

The knife of his loss will hurt almost as much as death hurts. I will bleed day by day until I can make him a remembrance, as I have done so many other things that are my past.

I won't be the same person, that's for sure.