"Miles wait up." I turn around to see fuck face running my way. More like jogging, but still, his ridiculous blond hair flaps up and down hitting him in the forehead. I hate him even more for looking like a Walmart version of Leonardo Di Caprio.
"What do you want?" I ask him once he reaches me. I don't indulge in civilized conversation with him since he doesn't deserve it.
"I need to show you something."
"One I don't care. Two I need to talk to Diana, so bye." I turn around, but Jason grabs my elbow.
"This is about Diana." Jason has my attention. I look him in the eye to see if he's joking or something, but he looks honest and now I'm scared.
"What? Is she okay?"
"Yeah, but I don't think you're going to like this."
"Like what?" I'm confused. The sudden pain in my chest telling me I should go. That I shouldn't believe anything he says. But this is about Diana. My Diana and if there's something here that isn't good for her then I need to see and make sure nothing bad happens.
"Take a look." He hands me his phone. There aren't many people around us. I press play. There on the tiny screen of his iPhone eleven is Diana and Nia in her room. I can't see Diana, but I can hear her. I could recognize her voice anywhere. Nia is sitting on her bed.
"So how's Miles?" Nia, ask Diana who is still not in view.
"Good. Uh- He kissed me. Well, I kissed him. We kissed twice." Hell yeah, we kissed. It was amazing. Too short, but I want our first kiss to mean something to us, to be perfect. Maybe I'm too sappy or a helpless romantic when it comes to this girl, but I want everything to be perfect. I want everything with her.
"What the hell? Finally. If I would have made a bet with someone, I would have totally lost. I thought Miles would man up after prom." Fuck you, Nia. I'm man enough.
"Ha! After prom, our arrangement will be over." What? Arrangement? Que carajo. I never agreed to an arrangement... what?
"Come on. We both know that you and Miles haven't been fake for a long time." I haven't been fake with her since the beginning I think to myself. I see Jason looking for a reaction but I'm not giving it to him. I won't give anything to him.
"We literally just kissed today. After what? Two months?" Diana comes into view. That dress, wow, she looks beautiful. Why didn't I get a picture when she wore that? I would have hyped the hell out of her.
"You guys are shy," Nia tells her.
"I don't know. This is a fake relationship. It always has been. Sometimes I am positive he wants more, like today. But other times I'm not sure."
I stay silent.
"It doesn't matter what he wants Diana. Well, maybe a little. But the question is what do you want? Is this really all fake to you?" Yep, tell her Nia.
"We based this off something fake Nia. So it's fake." The video ends. I look up at Jason.
"Cool video," I say. Fuck, I want to cry.
"Cool video? Man, she just admitted to having played you and this is how you react."
"I'm not one to assume without getting both sides. Besides, this is my relationship and I know what the truth is." I have to admit, I am a little hurt. This is all fake to her? It makes me want to cry. Fuck, don't cry. I need a milkshake and a hug from Lidia right now. "Could you send me that video? and after delete it?" I ask him.
"Send yes, delete not so much." The bell rings and I have that cooking presentation now. Really? Ugh. I quickly give him my phone number and he sends it to me. I don't have time to make him delete it.
"Miles! Wait for me please." Everyone wants to talk to Miles today. Do I have a paper sticking to my back saying to talk to me?
" Nia? What's up?"
"I don't know if I should tell you this," Nia doesn't break eye contact with me as she speaks. Her eyes tell the story better than her words. They speak honesty and pain. "Last night was pretty hard for Diana. She's my best friend and I love her so much. But you take care of her in a way I can't. It's like you know how to fix her mood no matter what. She's your other half no matter how much I hate that." She smiles gently.
"This is why it's so hard to hate you. Thanks for telling me." I say. I'm confused and don't know who to believe. Nia just told me this and Jason showed me that video. And everything is all mixed up in my head. And now I have that stupid presentation. Carajo. I want to scream.
"Mr. Rivera," Roberts says as I open the door. Everyone's eyes snap to me and I want to crawl six feet under and never go up again. "So happy you decided to grace us with your presence. Diana is waiting for you." I look around and find Diana in her cheer uniform, blue, black, and white colors bringing out her dark eyes; her hair in a high ponytail.
She looks at me like she wants to kill me. A part of me doesn't want to talk to her. The video keeps playing in my head no matter how reasonable I want to be. I'm so mad. I feel this burning sting in the left part of my chest; where my heart is supposed to be. I swear I feel a crack coming from that same place when Diana's eyes lock on mine and urge me to concentrate and give the presentation.
I put my big boy pants on, place the tembleque and coquito on the table in front of us so everyone can see, and start talking about my beautiful country and its amazing postres, deserts.
"Miles, what's going?" Diana whispers in my ear as other students talk about their dishes. Roberts's plan was executed perfectly by her students. If I wasn't so frustrated with myself, with Diana, with life in general, I would have noticed all the amazing Latin American countries people choose. Cuba with ropa vieja. Mexico with empanadas. Republica Dominicana with mangu. Even if the dishes weren't perfect, having students learn about many different cultures sometimes history classes don't teach about was good enough for Roberts and for me. As a Latino boy, I love seeing others learn about these wonderful cultures.
Miles what's going on? Diana's questions echos in my head. But I can't bring it in me to answer. I want to tell her everything's okay. But I can't. I need to breathe and think. And I can't do that when I have her sitting next to me dressed all pretty with her pretty eyes looking at me. Fuck, she's pretty.
I walk out of the classroom as soon as the bell rings and don't take a single second to look back. I leave Diana there. Alone.
That's how it goes all day. Me avoiding Diana and Diana trying to talk to me any chance she got. I feel like a dick. A real pendejo. I've wanted this for so many years. I thought I would never get it and then she and I started this. And we have all these moments where I know she wanted me. Where I knew it was more than just a fake relationship.
But that video... fucked me and my brain up real bad. Puñeta.
I feel lines forming in my forehead as I push my eyebrows together. My heart feels like that moment when you're really dizzy, suddenly you see different shapes with a black background.
I'm distraught.
~~~
"What up your ass?" Alejandro asks as he gets in the car. I just want to be alone with my thoughts, maybe drink a coffee, jump off a cliff, and then suddenly talk to Diana and explain why I've been acting like a dick to her all day. But of course, brat number one is here next to me.
"Jason and his little phone."
He tries to hide his laugh but fails. I've always been jealous of his smile. It's raspy and I'm positive I once saw his eyes twinkle as he threw his head back and laughed. "What's his phone got to do with all of this?"
"Some stupid video he showed me about Diana."
"Elaborate por favor."
"It was her talking."
"And?" He motions with his hands so I keep talking. "Come on big boy, spit it out."
"She said everything with had us fake." And that's when it hit me, Alejandro doesn't know me and Diana were in a fake relationship. No one knows. Only Diana, Nia, Jason (kins of), and me.
"Que carajo? What do you mean?" I breathe in and out, look out through the window and spot the cheerleaders practicing on the football field. I look at Alejandro.
"She and I. fake. Diana made a deal with me so I could be her fake boyfriend to fuck with her mom. I agreed so I could be closer to her. Just have her for a while, but then my feelings for her came rushing back. And I fell into this maddening black hole. It sucked me up and all my emotions for her."
"Holy shit."
"Yep."
"What are you going to do?"
"Think about it then talk to her. Give me around five to seven business days."
He slaps me on my chest, and I cough a couple of times. I'm going to kill him. "Fuck no. You go talk to her today or tomorrow. Girls like to assume things fast. They get insecure even faster. Diana probably doesn't even know about that stupid video."
"I hate that you give better advice."
"Someone had to be the smarter one. It's probably all those books mom makes us read, but really. I like Diana. I like you guys together. Yeah, I'm a little mad you didn't tell me it was fake, but I understand. It's good you want to think about the situation instead of acting out in anger, but don't leave her waiting too long."
The ride home is silent, but I repeat our conversation a million times. He's right. I'll go talk to her once I've cleared my head a bit.
I apologize for the small cliffhanger... really I do. But next chapter is going to be exciting!
Thoughts? Predictions?
See you guys on thrusday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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