16: Twitter scandals and fake promises

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"Why do you care so much about what they think? How can you not notice?" He tells me and a flash of pain crosses his eyes. They soften for a second, almost turning into glass.

"Notice what?" It's a true question.

"Nothing." I was able to hear the frustration in his voice. "I need to leave and think before I do something or say something I regret." He kisses my cheek. "To keep up with appearances," he whispers in my ear and walks away. Somehow that makes me feel even worse.

I was really happy. I was in a silly happy mood. I woke up, had the best breakfast; scrambled eggs with bacon courtesy of Maggy plus I received a great dirty pick-up line from miles.

Miles:

Your voice isn't deep, but I'm sure your throat is. <3

Buenos Dias.

Me:

I'm speechless. Great way to start my morning : )

Miles:

I know. pick you up in forty pretty girl.

Miles picked me up, something about couples lasting more if they spent their mornings together. I of course proceeded to remind him this was all fake and to piss my mother off. Which made him remind me of our kiss.

That fucking kiss.

What's that word that miles always says?

Carajo. I don't know what it means, but he told me it was a curse word. So carajo, carajo, and another very big carajo.

I want to kiss him. I really do. His lips are always daring me. They look so soft and nice. At times, I feel like Miles wants this to be real, but then other times he reminds me how this is fake. Then again, I do the same. So what game are we really playing?

I don't know.

Miles walked me to my morning class and everything passed well. I did super amazing in an AP English test I had (even if I had been worried about it) and super doper good in a science presentation. Like I said life was great.

That was until lunch.

When I was younger, I used to hate going to lunch. I know most kids loved it, you know with the whole free period, food, and playing around. But I used to hate it. I've always enjoyed learning or maybe it was the fact that I enjoyed learning and excelling so my mother would notice me. Either way, I was always bored during lunch and a part of me felt paranoid that somehow my mother knew I was wasting my time.

I usually sit at the same table. My fellow cheerleading friends and some guys of the football team which include Alyssa and Jason and lately Miles was sitting with us too.

"You know what I find funny." The whole table was silent as Alyssa spoke. All eyes, ears, and anything else was on her, just like she liked it. "Miles and Diana have been dating for quite a while now, but I've never seen them kiss."

"Not everyone likes to be the center of attention barbie," Miles says. I look at him with a smile on my face and grab his hand under the table. Lately, he's gained more confidence and has started speaking up more and more. I'm so proud of him.

"I'm just saying when Diana was with Jason they were always on top of each other."

"And look how that turned out. I like my privacy, Alyssa." I tell her.

Alyssa and Jason went on and on about how Miles and I don't showcase our relationship until we both got fed up and left the table. By then, I was pissed. I've never been one for violence, but I was so close to hitting a locker. Then I realized that wouldn't be good since I'd probably end up breaking my wrist.

I'm not the strongest person as you can tell.

Miles and I went to cooking class where we were given the class to continue brainstorming our final ideas for the big country project. Instead, he spent the hour stroking my hand and giving me forehead kisses.

"Ignore them, hermosa."

"They're figuring it out, Miles. If my mom finds out she'll kill me and everyone is going to laugh at me."

"Stop caring about pleasing others and start pleasing yourself. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how bad or how good the situation is."

"I hate you for being so good to me," I tell him.

"Of course you do. Tu me amas de la misma manera que yo te amo."

"You really need to teach me Spanish."

"I like the fact that you don't understand. It adds to my mysterious boy vibes." He jokes.

"You are so not mysterious," I tell him.

We parted our ways once the bell rang and headed to my final class of the day. That's when my day went from bad to horrendous. A massive tweet on Alyssa's stupid Twitter page. It was like she was inspired by Gossip Girl and we were living in a soap opera.

thatgirlAlyssa

Miles and Diana seem pretty close... but as time passes we get the impression they really are just friends. Wasn't she caught kissing Jason in the locker rooms at least three times?

It was twice, I want to reply. Twice! And I admit it wasn't my finest moment.

The class went silent as the phones vibrated and everyone secretly checked their phones. All eyes were on me and not in a good way. I felt it. The same humiliation I felt the day I found Jason and Alyssa kissing. It feels like the world keeps turning and turning. Butterflies erupt from my stomach, but not the ones I've come to love. Those only appear when Miles is near.

These butterflies are the worst. I can see their color. Black and they're tainting my inner skin. They're trying their best to break free from their cage. The butterflies are trying to break me. Crush me even. It's like a sunset after a rainy day. Not the pretty rainbow with all the colors and the yellow sky. But the sunset where the clouds are still so dark; the sun is barely visible.

That's how horrible I feel.

The hour class passes by far too slowly. I swear I feel time stop. When I walk out of the classroom all eyes are on me. I hear the whispers. I feel the eyes following my movement. I think I even hear the thoughts.

I see him standing in front of my locker. "Miles."

"Hermosa. You saw?"

"Everyone in the whole town," I say.

"You know what I say, ignore them."

"That's pretty hard Miles."

"Let's go."

"I can't I have cheerleading practice." My day really can't get worse but at least I'll have Nia there with me.

"Then walk me to my car." I hesitate for a moment. "Please." He begs. We make way through the hallway of students that wish to leave school as well. I grab Miles's hand outside telling him to stop.

"Come on Miles, just kiss me," I tell him. We're outside on the curb next to the parking lot. The bell rang a few minutes ago so everyone is coming out.

"Not here." He tells me. I grab his hands and close the gap between us a bit more. "What happened to that stupid promise?"

"it's just a fake one, flower." I try to convince myself.

"Don't you flower me now. You promised me a real kiss with feelings and all that shit. And when I do kiss you it will have feelings and real things."

"That was before Alyssa said everything." My stomach turns as the words fly out of my mouth. I feel bad. I'm a horrible person.

"Why do you care so much about what they think? How can you not notice?" He tells me.

"Notice what?" It's a true question.

"Nothing." I was able to hear the frustration in his voice. "I need to leave and think before I do something or say something I regret." He kisses my cheek. "To keep up with appearances," he whispers in my ear and walks away. Somehow that makes me feel even worse.

I walk back inside the school and head over to the girls changing room. There are only a few girls, thankfully Nia being one of them.

"I'm so grabbing malibu barbies ponytail today and flipping her over." I laugh hearing the name.

"Miles called her that today," I tell her.

"The only thing I'll ever agree with him. But really, I want to grab that bitch stupid blond hair and yank it all off." I can always count on Nia to make me laugh.

"We can totally stab her with one of those crazy six-inch heels she wears."

"That was dark and I'm totally here for it babe." We both laugh as I continue to change. "But more importantly, I'm here for you. We can totally change her shampoo to something crazy if you'd like." She whispers the last part.

"Fuck I love you." I put my stuff away in my gym locker before walking out.

Alyssa and I don't talk during the whole practice. We don't even look at each other, but you can feel the dirty glances from her. I can feel the tension and I'm sick of it. I end the practice ten minutes earlier than usual.

Nia wraps her arm around me after we finish changing. "Come on, milkshakes on me."

"I'm down, but it better not me at Lidia's. I can't see Miles now."

"What's wrong?"

"We had an argument. Nothing a little space and communication won't fix." I tell her.

"Okay, babe. Don't wait too long before you try and fix it." Nia gives me her advice and I'm thankful. Being able to hear another's person's point of view from the same situation is always great. One of the many things I love about Nia is how honest she is. She'll tell you the truth and won't sugarcoat it.

The ride to wherever she's taking me is short, around ten minutes. I look around and that's when I see our next milkshake stop.

'God, I haven't been here in forever." The red Cold Stone sign hangs high in the front wall of the building. Inside you can see the people ordering while others are already sitting down and having their ice cream or shake.

"Right? Even since senior year started we've been so busy." I agree with her. Cheerleading takes so much time and forming part of my other clubs too. And my tutories. Those take so much time out of my schedule but I wouldn't change it for the world.

"I don't know if I ever truly thanked you, Nia." I turn my body so I can look at her properly. My knee hits the shifter.

"Thank me for what babe?"

"For sticking with me after everything. So thank you for being the best friend ever."

"Bitch, you're going to make me cry. I hate you. My mascara was looking so pretty today." Laughter echos through the car. "But really. You have nothing to thank me for. You always got me."

The people ordering before us don't take long. I end up ordering a chocolate devotion that contains brownies, almonds, and chocolate syrup. While Nia orders a strawberry ice cream with almonds and cheesecake bites.

"Did you hear Anthonys Ramos song? The one I sent you the other day?" Nia, ask me as I take a chocolaty bite from my ice cream. Ever since we saw in the heights we've been obsessed with that man.

"Oh my god. I did and that music video? He looked so hot!"

"Agreed." We catch up in all things us. You'd wonder how we never run out of things to talk about since we talk every day, but we feel so comfortable with each other it never really stops.

~~~

"I'll see you, tomorrow babe!" I wave back at Nia and wait until she drives away before entering my house.

"Darling is that you?" Mother's voice booms through the crystal windows.

"Yes," I reply as she enters the room.

"Oh lord. Darling, did you eat? You look a little bloated?" Calm down, Diana. Your body is okay. It's natural to be bloated, I remind myself.

"I really couldn't tell. I don't pay that much attention to my body anymore."

"Well, you should. Anyways, dinner should be ready shortly."

"Okay." I walk past her and head up to my room. I open my books to get some work done. I'm so into my history work I barely notice when my phone beeps next to me signaling a new notification. Thinking its Miles I rapidly grab my phone only for my mood to sunken once I realize it's from Twitter.

thef*ckingjason

diana probably doesn't kiss miles since she; ll probably get some weird mexican disease.

Oh my god. Fuck. I'm going to kill him. Miles? I need to talk to him.

Miles and Diana when Alyssa and Jason start to realize it's fake... 

How are you guys? I've been getting a bunch of new readers and thats so awesome! Welcome! Where are you guys from? 

I'm from Puerto Rico! 

Vote if you want to see Miles reaction to the tweet. 

Also, I wanted to clarify that many of the things Jason has said in this book have been real. They've been said to me or my friends or family. It is disgusting things like these still happen. 

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