12: Pharmamax coquito

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The cold marble against my hand makes me feel even colder. I don't understand why the air conditioner feels like it's below zero. I've never been a fan of the cold. Your bones freeze to death no matter how many layers you have on. Maggy is out doing some grocery shopping, and mother and father are also out, so it is just me and Miles.

Miles and me. I really like how that sounds. As the days, hours, minutes, and seconds pass, I find myself wanting to spend more time with him. I want to learn more about him and his life. How did he grow and up and all the corny stuff. But then I remind myself that all of this is fake and only to displease my mother.

Every day she shows her hate for our relationship even more. She tells me Miles isn't good for me and how Jason is my obvious choice. Miles is amazing I try to tell her, and it pains me she doesn't see it. But for once, I'm doing something to annoy her and not be the perfect daughter she's always tried to manipulate.

"The tembleque is in the fridge. We can start the coquito now." Even if our first attempt to make the tembleque was good, Miles still thinks we could have made it better. Supposedly, he talked to his mom about it and she gave him some tips.

"How do we make co-ki-to." I take my time trying to pronounce the word correctly.

"Mejor. Coquito." He repeats the word so I can hear it again. Miles has been teaching me a bit of Spanish here and there, but I can never pronounce the words correctly. He says it's going to take time for me to really learn, but still thinks I'm doing amazing. And when I say he's teaching, I mean he says things in Spanish. I beg him to translate them and then I try to remember what they mean. He's not the best teacher. But his hot accent makes him sound really smart...

I suppose you could say he's a great teacher (only because of the accent), but he can never know I said that or that I actually enjoyed his little Marc Anthony show the other day. The music is growing on me the more he plays it. And the way he looks like when he sings in Spanish... beautiful. His accent is prominent when he sings. Miles rolls his 'r's a certain way I love. His brown hair moving up and down as he tried to imitate any famous singer. He creates a mic with his own hand and sings to me boleros de salsa; as he calls them.

"I feel bad for anyone who doesn't like coco. This shit is the best." His words come out all muffled as he takes a spoon of coconuts shred.

"I don't like them that much," I admit.

The clink of the metal spoon is heard against the marble. Miles's light brown eyes darken a he looks at me. "I don't think we should date anymore."

"I was thinking the same thing." I joke back.

"People who don't like coco are boring." I drop my gaze as his words echo through my ears.

Boring.

"Hermosa?" Every time he calls me hermosa, the butterflies wake up from their slumber and reappear in my tummy. "You okay?" Jason called me boring when he left me. "Diana? Hey, what's wrong?"

"Sorry. Uh- how do we make coquito again?" I change the subject and pray he doesn't notice my attempt.

"We'll talk about this later okay?" I nod and return my attention to the ingredients. I pray he forgets about this. I can't believe I just got upset because I heard the word boring. Miles was joking and we were having fun, but of course, I ruin it. "So, we need a whole lot of coconut milk and coconut crème. Some cinnamon, condensed milk, a little bit of nutmeg, and the tiniest bit of vanilla."

"I forgot to tell you, I got the word document last night with the process and just edited the format to make it look prettier." I remind him and myself.

"Perfecto." God, that was hot.

We spend a few minutes mixing all the ingredients. Coquito is much easier to make than tembleque and takes way less time. After I blend everything, Miles informs me we just let it sit until it's cold and then we can drink it. I'm excited to try this famous coquito. I love learning about his culture and homeland.

"If it were Navidad, Christmas, there would be like twenty bottles of coquito with rum in the fridge. My tías get crazy drunk with it." He tells me.

"We should totally add rum to it."

"Such a bad influence Diana." He takes a sip from his water bottle. "Speaking of my family-" He starts only to be interrupted.

"I thought I smelled PharmaMax." Mother opens the kitchen door harder than necessary as she storms in. I don't know why she says it like that, she knew Miles was coming over. I made sure to mention it. Besides, she needs to stop calling him PharmaMax. "Miles."

"Mrs. Lewis."

Father, I think is already at his office, but I'm not sure he even left it. He's always in there doing business or drinking.

"Diana, darling I got you the protein shakes. You seem to be catching a few pounds." I look down at myself suddenly feeling very exposed in my low-rise jeans and crop top. I feel Miles's eyes on me, but I choose to ignore them. He stands there quietly without saying or commenting on anything.

"Hope you bought enough for both of us. Seems like you've also been gaining some. For shame mother." I've never been one to body shame. Your body is absolutely beautiful. I remind myself that every day. I've always been content and happy with my skinny legs, my not-grabbable butt, and flat chest because I learned to love it.

Mother always use to comment on it and made me feel bad, but as I grew up google did serve for something useful. I started looking up to positive influencers and articles accepting your body. I learned to gain confidence in who I was, so I wasn't letting my mother get to my head.

"Leave the kitchen, darling. I have things to do." Luckily Miles and I had cleaned it up pretty well as we talked so it wasn't a total mess.

I grab Miles's hand and exit the toxic place.

"Diana-"

"Let's go to my room, okay?" I tell him.

"Yeah."

The twenty-something stair steps we climb make me lose my breath. I'm probably just agitated from speaking with my mother, but still, that was tiring.

I unlock my window and step onto the roof. The refreshing air hits my face as I look for the small basket I always keep up here.

"This is a nice place," Miles comments as he takes a sit on the roof.

"Right? I usually come out here to study or watch Netflix. It's always been so relaxing." I open the basket that's filled with a few small pillows, blankets, and candy. "It's my emergy mother stash."

"Emergy mother stash?" Miles repeats.

"Yeah. Whenever I need to calm down after an encounter with her, I come out here." I pull out two pillows and hand one to Miles. There is a big blanket that can cover us both, so I take it out and place it on our legs. I make sure to scoot over a bit more, our shoulders brushing each other.

"So you basically spend every hour here." He playfully says.

"Very funny. But yeah. Kind of. Chocolate?" I ask him as I unwrap my Hershey bar.

"Thank you." A few seconds of silence pass as we both digest the sweet taste of chocolate. "Diana?"

"Miles."

"You know I think you're perfect right?" The distance between us catches me off guard as I turn my head to face him. Our heads are so close. I can almost taste the chocolate smell from his breath.

"What?"

"You are perfection. Your body is perfection. Your hair, eyes, smile, mind. Everything you have and do is perfect."

"Where is this coming from?"

"I'd just thought I'd give you a reminder, hermosa." There he goes with the name again. I like the way he rolls his r whenever he calls me that.

"Oh." I'm unsure of what to say. But I believe him. He speaks in such a confident tone, that I would believe him if he said I was the opposite of perfect. "Thank you. I guess you aren't so bad either. I can't say perfect cause there can only be one perfect person in this relationship and that's me. But I guess your pretty close." I elbow him softly. A few chuckles escape us.

"Almost made it seem like this was a real relationship with real feelings." He tells me.

"Fake relationship." I correct him. I can't speak on behalf of feelings.

The sun is coming down. The yellow, orange, and blue all blend together creating a beautiful mix.

"You know, my family is having a get-together on Saturday. Would you like to come?"

"Flower, are you asking me out on a date?"

His hand wraps around me pulling me closer. "Call me flower one more time and I'll push you off."

"Such a violent person, Miles." He doesn't let go of me and my head finds its way to his shoulder.

"To answer your question, it's a fake date." It stings a little hearing the fake but I understand. However, the butterflies don't. They erupt and ignite my whole body.

"I'll go on one condition. You provide me with food."

"Hermosa, it's a Puerto Rican gathering. Of course, there will be food. Just you wait."

"Now I'm excited. Not because I'm going with you, but because of the food."

"Brat."

"Flower." He attempts to try and push me off. "I go down, you go down," I tell him making sure to grab his hands a bit tighter.

"Just for that, you're going to let me teach you how to dance salsa." He says.

"Good thing I've always wanted to learn."

"Point taken." I feel his shoulder lightly shake and I know he's laughing. "Question."

"Answer."

"Why'd you date Jason? I don't mean to pry, but you guys are so different." I look down at my hand. I didn't expect him to ask with that. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I guess I wanted to please my mom. There used to be a boy that lived nearby. He was so cute. At least my ten-year-old mind thought so. I think they had always lived in the neighborhood, but that year we became sort of friends. Maybe we were friends earlier... I don't have many memories from when I was young. Mother didn't like our friendship and a few months later he moved. That's when I started hanging out more with Jason, we grew up being good friends. Mother always mentioned what a good guy he was whenever she made time for me. It was little when we could talk, so during freshman year, I thought it'd be good for him and me to date. Mother loved the idea and started talking to me more. Over time I did start to like him. He treated me so nicely."

"You deserve to be treated more than nicely."

"I know that now. Then he broke up with me saying he got bored of me. He never cheated on me though. But he went with Alyssa awfully fast."

"He's an idiot. I would never let you go." My heart beats faster when I hear those words.

"I always wondered what happened to the boy and his family. I don't even remember his name."

"He probably remembers you. You're kind of hard to forget." Miles tells me.

"How sweet of you."

"I meant it in the most negative way, hermosa."

"And you call me the brat."

Pleasing my mother has always been my main focus. I just wanted her to notice me for who I was and my accomplishments. But now, being with Miles, I don't care that much about her anymore. 

That whole balcony scene has my heart. And it made me miss Birdie and Brownie so much. *cries* 

So! How are you guys? I'm pretty good. In a little writing slump, but I'm slowly getting out of it. 

Vote and comment if you love Miles and hate Mrs. Lewis. 

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