Chiisai's eyes flew open, her heart beating wildly inside of her. Her stomach twisted, and she rolled out of bed, hurling all over the wooden floor.

Pain split her skull, and her body shook as she stared down at what she had eaten earlier that day.

It had been a dream- a nightmare, but that still didn't stop the fear coursing through her body, the memory of Kakashi's hand ramming through her sternum and heart.

Because she was a murderer, a monster. She had killed her own parents, and she deserved to die.

And she knew, logically and rationally, that she didn't dream. She had never dreamed in her life, as her abilities thrust her into other people's dreams constantly.

Perhaps her chakra was trying to kill her, to scare her, to make her give in to her fear. And she was close to it, for sure.

Footsteps were heard, and her gaze flickered up to see Kakashi. Chiisai wiped the tears from her eyes and pushed herself up in the bed.

"St-stay away," She said, extending her hand. Because she needed to think, to calm down, and her heart started to race at the sight of him. Her gaze flickered to his gloved hand.

Kakashi froze, his eye filled with concern.

"Chiisai," he said, voice low, "are you alright?"

"Just d-don't come any closer," she stammered. Images flashed of him and his chidori, and she felt her chest, expecting to feel nothing but a bloody, gaping hole.

That's right- that had all been a dream, because the real Kakashi was right here, and he was her medical aide. But he was also Kakashi of the Sharingan, and he specialized in assasinations.

"You're my medical aide, right?" She asked.

Kakashi frowned as he pulled out a folded piece of paper in his back pocket. He held it up, and Chiisai squinted, making out a hospital insignia and a few signature lines.

"I am," he said.

They sat there in silence with nothing but Chiisai's heavy breathing to fill it. She squeezed her eyes shut, and the scabs pulled at her skin.

"Get me someone else," she said.

Kakashi frowned as he placed the paper back in his pocket. "You're afraid of me." His words were factual.

She looked away. What was she doing? It wasn't his fault, she knew, but the nightmare had felt so real, and she was already waiting for Kakashi to lift his headband up.

"Please," she said, "at least for tonight, just...just get someone else over here."

Kakashi watched her for a moment, taking in her tone, her posture.

"I'll do it," he said, crossing his arms, "but you have to tell me why."

She sighed and looked away. Embarrassment flooded her face as she said, "I...had a nightmare, and you were in it."

He glanced at the vomit and replied, "I must have done some pretty awful things."

She stared down at her hands and replied, "...Something like that."

"Alright then," he nodded, "I have someone in mind to call." He turned and finished with, "Don't worry, I'll stay out of your hair until then."

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize," he said. His voice was easy going as he added, "You're not the first to look at me like that, and you won't be the last."

He left the room before she could respond, and her chest flooded with shame.

She never wanted him to feel that way, and especially not because of her. But his voice still echoed in her mind, his chidori flashing, and Chiisai drew her knees up, taking deep breaths.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Chiisai watched as Koshuu spooned out rice porridge. It had been flavored with miso and served with cooked eggs, and the smell filled the kitchen. It sure wasn't BBQ, but it was comforting.

Koshuu's dark hair spiked out, and he wore his blue jacket today. It was the one that made his shoulders look broader.

It was a pleasant distraction from her current predicament, but still paled in comparison to seeing Kakashi this morning.

This morning? It felt like a week ago. But that's what she should be focusing on- the memory of fresh-out-of-the-shower Kakashi, the hot, coffee-making medical aid. Definitely not Kakashi of the Sharingan, expert in assassinations and ramming hands through chests.

That nightmare had etched itself into her. She had been terrified, and irrational, and now it was obvious that Kakashi would never do such a thing.

Right?

Of course not. He was a ninja, but that didn't make him a monster.

No, that was what she was.

She'd have to apologize to him later.

Koshuu pushed the bowl towards her and said, "Eat up."

Chiisai picked up her spoon. Would this be her last meal?

"I see you're not impressed," he said, judging her expression. He arched his eyebrow and asked. "Is your new friend a better cook?"

Chiisai spooned out a bite of food and ate it. She swallowed and replied, "Sorry, I haven't had much of an appetite is all. And Kakashi and I aren't friends. He just feels guilty that he didn't walk me home," she lied.

Koshuu nodded, and his shoulders relaxed. "Mizuki will be disappointed, I think. You should have heard her talking about you two when she found out he was your medical aid." He wiggled his eyebrows for effect.

Chiisai nearly choked on her food. The woman had thrown both of her sons her way the third year she worked with her. When that didn't work, she pushed Koshuu on her. No one knew how much emotional baggage Chiisai carried, and she planned on keeping it that way for as long as possible.

"Gods help me," Chiisai said, shaking her head. "Mizuki knows how I feel about ninja. What would give her that idea?"

He shrugged and replied, "You know how she is. Remember when she tried setting me up with her niece?"

Chiisai swallowed another bite and smiled. She said, "I remember you saying the poor girl got drunk, talked about her ex the whole time, and proceeded to, as you say, "kiss you like a dog?""

He shook his head and sighed. "Sometimes I feel like dating isn't worth the trouble."

Chiisai snapped her fingers and replied, "What about the girl that keeps returning books late? You've been on a couple of dates and I haven't heard any horror stories yet."

"She's...not my type." Koshuu met her gaze and his tone changed. "How do you feel?"

"Like hell," she replied honestly. She stared down at the half-eaten bowl of food. "It's been a long weekend, and today was just as long."

"Well," he said, "you look better. And you're not cuffed to a bed. That's an improvement." He glanced at her wrists and added, "Though that looks bad."

"Yeah," she said, glancing down at the burns. "Apparently I'm allergic to Velcro cuffs." She looked up at Koshuu. "And thanks."

He raised his eyebrows at her changed tone, and she added, "for coming over. I'm grateful for it." She stuffed another mouthful of porridge in her mouth before she could say anything stupid.

His brown eyes grew serious as he said, "You know we care about you, right? Mizuki and I?"

She looked away, and her voice softened. "Of course I know."

He placed his hand over hers. "We just, well, we're worried about you."

Her eyebrows furrowed. His skin was soft, thanks to the books he handled everyday, and they felt so different from Kakashi's. "Why?"

"Maybe because you were attacked? That sounds traumatic, Chiisai. And you don't seem fazed at all." He studied her face, looking for any emotion that might betray her. "We may live in a hidden village, but that's not a normal thing for people like us."

'People like us' rang in her ears, and she hesitated. What were people like her? Was there such a thing?

"I'm fine," she repeated, looking away to the balcony. She slid her hand away from his and added, "I don't even remember what happened." Which was true.

Koshuu followed her gaze. "You look like you're looking for another attacker. You're sick and on edge. It's obvious Kakashi's worried about you too. His voice sounded stressed on the phone."

"Of course he's stressed, he's been babysitting me," she snorted. She suddenly realized how different the two of them were. Koshuu didn't have to worry about anbu or having his secrets discovered. He didn't fear going to sleep at night, wondering if abilities sealed away would suddenly come back. He didn't fear making eye contact with everyone around him, knowing that in doing so, their dreams would come to life behind his eyes.

What was Chiisai? She wasn't a kunoichi, but she definitely wasn't a normal citizen.

Koshuu smiled. "You can be a difficult person."

She pointed her spoon at him. "Exactly. I'm extremely difficult. No one likes me."

"Well, I like you." Koshuu coughed and corrected, "Mizuki and I- we both like you." He scratched the back of his neck, adding, "even when you're a pain in the ass."

Chiisai laughed then (though she immediately stopped from the headache forming), and Koshuu's smile spread. He added, "I am going to point out your pain in the assery- why haven't you opened the gift?"

Chiisai followed his gaze to the unopened present on the counter. "I don't think assery is a word."

"Off topic," he scolded.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't usually get gifts, and opening it seems like I'm accepting something new."

"It's called friendship," he said. "And you desperately need it." Koshuu stood and returned with the gift in hand. "C'mon, open it."

"Right now?" She looked down at it. It was medium size, and slightly heavy.

"Yes," he nodded sternly. "You're in need of serotonin."

"But you'll see my reaction." Anxiety began to take hold of her.

"Then I hope you're a good actress."

Chiisai sighed and stared down at the ribbon. This should be easy, opening a present. People did it all the time on birthdays and holidays.

"The suspense is killing me," he said.

"Shut up," she snapped. "I'm opening it."

Chiisai tugged the ribbon off and went to lift the taped flaps.

"No," Koshuu said, waving his hands. "No no no. You'd make a lousy actress, Chiisai. You rip it open." He motioned it and added, "It's like you've never opened a gift before. At least pretend you're happy to get it."

She gave him a look, rolled her eyes, and tore the paper. A ripping sound echoed in the kitchen, catching Tori's attention. His ears pricked, and his pupils dilated.

Alright, Chiisai admitted, the sound was satisfying.

Chiisai tore the paper again and again, and Koshuu smiled as she pulled the box out. It was plain, and brown, and had no markings on it. Carefully, she opened the tab and looked inside.

A soft smile formed on her lips. She pulled out a small bag of ground coffee, her favorite book, a candle, fuzzy socks, and a small blanket.

Chiisai raised her eyebrows and looked up at him. "Is this box like an endless pit of presents?" She asked. "Did you break time and space somehow?"

"Mizuki's packing skills are legendary," he said, crossing his arms. "Keep going!"

She sighed and looked back down.

At the bottom, there was a small poster featuring the main characters of the book. It was an original promo poster, she realized.

"Alright," she admitted leaning back in her chair, "This is a very sweet present. And by sweet, I mean a totally amazing bundle of gifts."

"We bought things based on comfort, practicality, and relaxation," Koshuu explained, clearly pleased. "It also all matches the same aesthetic, and there's a present for every year you've worked at the library."

She opened the candle and sniffed it. "I can tell you all did your homework. You even got the coffee from the coffeeshop I like."

Koshuu leaned forward and grinned, saying, "So you like it."

She watched as Tori played with the ribbon on the floor and said, "I mean, it's made just for me. I will say, this is my favorite book, so I've read it many times." She met his gaze and added, "I own several copies, you know."

He rubbed his chin and replied, "But do you have the special signed first edition that only sold 300?"

"Are you serious?" She said. Chiisai carefully opened the book to the first few pages. Her eyes widened, and she said, "You're joking!"

"I'm not." He shook his head. "Mizuki found it at a used bookstore. The dude had no idea what he was selling."

"This is incredible." Too incredible, to be honest. She didn't deserve any of this.

"Are you sure?" His tone changed as he studied her. "You look sad."

She shook her head. "No, no, it's...Um. I've actually never gotten a birthday present before. At least none that I remember."

"You're kidding," he said, eyes wide in disbelief. "I thought you just didn't like presents. You never never wanted us to celebrate it."

She shrugged. "My family was never into birthdays, so I never bothered making a big deal about it," she said. Chiisai stared down at the pile of gifts. "And this is likely the coolest thing I will ever receive."

His eyes narrowed, and he threw his hands in the air, saying, "That's absurd! That's like, twenty-three birthdays without birthday presents. No wonder you didn't know how to open- wait- what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said.

"...You're crying."

"It's just been a long weekend," she said again. She wiped the tears from her eyes and grinned, adding, "I'm sorry. I promise I'm really happy!"

His face was serious as he asked, "How can I help remedy this? I can't believe I made you cry on your birthday."

"There's nothing to remedy," she said. "I just-"

Chiisai immediately stood and stumbled toward the trash can. Luckily, it was only a few steps away, and she braced her hands on the lid as she puked.

The wooden chair scraped against the floor as Koshuu followed her. He pulled her hair back as her body heaved again. The nausea had come out of nowhere, this time.

Her arms shook as she finally straightened.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. Chiisai took a step back, and her knee buckled. Koshuu caught her as she cursed under her breath.

"I got you," he said. "And stop apologizing. You're sick." Her back pressed against his chest, and his arms wrapped around her waist, keeping her from falling. Heat rose to her face.

She righted herself, and Koshuu pulled away. "I'm so tired of this," she said. "Of tripping, and spilling things, and falling constantly. And vomiting." She grabbed a rag and wiped her mouth. "I'm like a drunk toddler."

She was tired of all of it. Of her seal, and Kakashi, and the threat of her chakra. She wasn't ready for this, physically or mentally. All she wanted to do was sleep, but now she was even scared to do that.

She wiped her mouth with a rag.

"You should sit," Koshuu said. "You look pale."

Koshuu helped her into the living room. She sat and massaged the side of her head, realizing how strong Koshuu's biceps had felt underneath his jacket.

Koshuu said, "Your concussion is pretty bad, isn't it? Here, I'll be right back."

Chiisai found her eyes wondering down Koshuu's frame as he turned and left.

He may be a cinnamon roll, but his body looked nothing like one.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, scolding herself for thinking of him that way. What had gotten into her? Koshuu was her coworker, not her eye candy.

She blamed it on Kakashi living with her. It had messed with her in more ways than one.

And also the fact that based on everything that was happening so far, she was likely going to die soon. Things like that were sure to change her perspective.

The weight on the couch shifted as Tori hopped up. Koshuu turned the sink on in the kitchen.

Exhaustion took over, and she suddenly felt weighted down, heavy with fatigue.

I will make you watch him suffer.

Panic overtook her, and she struggled to breathe, to find a grip on reality. Cords of chakra lashed out from the darkness, and Chiisai turned, running-

"Your date is going well."

Chiisai immediately opened her eyes, taking a sharp intake of breath. Kakashi stood across from her with Icha Icha in his hand. She blinked, glancing around the room, inhaling the familiar scents of her home. Tori stared up at her as if concerned.

Kakashi added, "Minus the vomiting. Did you take your medicine?"

"What are you doing?" she whispered harshly. An ache started to pound in the back of her head, and she looked around for anyone else in the room. There was no one else but Kakashi, and Koshuu was still in the kitchen.

What just happened? She had just lashed out at Kakashi, but he was likely the reason she wasn't being tortured by her chakra right now.

He didn't take his eyes off his book. "I heard you hurling from the roof. I came to make sure you're alright."

"I'm fine. And this is not a date," she replied. Tori rubbed up against her and dropped the ribbon by her hand. "And if it was, I'd have you to blame!"

Kakashi shrugged and turned the page. "If you say so. The gift was over the top, in my opinion. And since it's your first present, everything after that will always be a letdown."

She furrowed her brows, and her forehead stung from the movement. "Are you eavesdropping?"

He shrugged again and said, "Don't talk so loud if you don't want me to hear." He smiled and lifted his fingers up. "Bye."

He disappeared, and Chiisai heard the water shut off. Koshuu strolled back in with a wet rag. "Here," he said, "lean back. You look angry."

Chiisai opened her mouth, paused, and shut it. She leaned her head back and replied, "I'm not a fan of my current situation."

Koshuu laid the towel on her forehead and sat down beside her. "I don't blame you. Is the nausea because of the concussion?"

"Yeah. It comes and goes." She paused and added, "This feels good."

"My mom used to do it every time I got sick," he said. "She'd make miso soup and wrap me in my favorite blanket."

Memories flashed behind Chiisai's closed eyes. Her mother's smile, a cup of warm tea. Until she discovered the tea had a sleeping agent in it.

"That must be nice," she said. "It sounds like you have good parents."

"I didn't appreciate them when I was kid," he said. "I was a brat, and was constantly giving them a hard time. Still do sometimes."

"Mine are dead," she said. "And I constantly gave them a hard time."

Koshuu sucked in air before saying, "Oh, gods, why didn't you say something sooner? I-I had no idea!"

Her eyes opened to see panic in his eyes. "Sorry. I forgot I don't tell people things." She smiled and tapped her hand on his knee. "I'm glad to hear there's some good parents around. Can you tell me more about your family?"

So he did, explaining the dynamics of his siblings and parents, how his father was a farmer, and loved reading about nature and history. And his mother, who sold the vegetables at market, whose voice could carry three blocks, and how his overly-excitable mother and reserved father led a simple life, a loving life, a life Koshuu was realizing one he wanted for himself. Chiisai closed her eyes and relaxed under the sound of his voice.

There was a moment of silence, and Koshuu adjusted his sitting position. "Hmm. This is nice, you know. I mean, not that your parents are dead, which, I give you my condolences. I mean sitting at your surprisingly clean home and talking like friends. I've known you for three years, and this feels like the first time I've actually spent time with you. Also, you can't see it, but your cat is playing with the ribbon, and it's pretty adorable."

She tilted her head and opened her eyes. Sure enough, Tori was on his back, paws clutching the ribbon,