XXII

Of all the emotions that flashed across Lillian's expression, he was most anguished by the brief glimpse of hurt and betrayal he witnessed enter her gaze, feeling them rip through her senses as eloquently as if they were his own.

However, she reined it in, masking her volatility under a facade of coldness that glistened from the depths of her glacier stare with muted rage.

Aëghan made to step towards her, but her shoulders stiffened and she jerked her hand up in a gesture that halted him immediately.

"Don't," she clipped. Her chin notched up proudly, defiantly, as she considered him. "Don't come near me. Don't touch me."

His brows pulled tight as he realised that the laughing, passionate woman she was but moments before was gone- a woman who had made every nerve-ending in his body come alive with the one delicate sound of her husky laugh- and now he would pay the price of his subterfuge.

"I should have told you," he conceded.

Instead of acknowledging this, she demanded with severe imperiousness, "How long have you known?"

He hesitated for a moment before telling her, purely because the knowledge would bring her distress and it was the one thing he loathed to cause her. Suddenly, he hated himself for it. Lillian Adams did not deserve the sort of subtle manipulation he had attempted to use with her to attain his own ends which only served to drive home the fact that he was not suitable for her.

He should leave her alone, take her back to her sister- after all, he had acquired what he needed from her, had he not? There was little reason to urge her to linger with him alone and isolated, away from haranguing matchmakers and idiotic beastkeepers.

That's what he should do, what he should offer her right then...

"Since our first meeting at Ravensfield," Aëghan admitted.

"You should have told me then," Lillian snapped, her fists clenching at her sides and he knew she was staving off the tremors that activated whenever she experienced heightened emotions of distress. He longed to pull her into his arms and hold her tightly against his chest to quell them, despite being the cause, but he resisted knowing full well that she would most likely claw his eyes out.

"I should have," he agreed gently.

She appeared to baulk at his tone, her feet shifting backwards. Behind her but a few feet away was the edge of the comfortable bower they were enclosed in, and though it was covered by a sheer screen of glistening vines, he felt briefly concerned over her nearness to the precipice. The view would have provided her an uninterrupted view over the tops of the trees and far into the distance, at once calming and beautiful. He had hoped to impress her, to ease her into the revelation of the mark with soft words and perhaps some romance.

He had not exhibited wisdom when he threw himself at her, but, gods, the sight of her laughing and smiling...

"You deliberately made me into a fool," she hissed, her cheeks heightened with colour. "You knew, all this time, and allowed me to anguish over the unknown? Have you any idea how tormented I have been these few days knowing that I am inevitably bound to someone when I want nothing less than to wed any man?"

"That was not my intent." He held up his hands imploringly but she shied from the gesture, jerking backwards once more. "Lillian, if you'll just grant me a moment to explain and listen-"

"You have no right to ask anything of me again!" Once more, her heels sidled backwards and Aëghan felt perhaps for the first time in his life something akin to terror seep through his veins. "I was fool enough to allow myself to trust you even though I suspected you harboured an alternative agenda, though I had little inkling about the mark!" As if furious, she jerked her arms taut, her elbows disturbing the curtain of vines behind her.

"Please, Lillian, come away-"

"No!" She lurched her shoulders back when he made to grab her with the sole intention to pull her away from the edge, cognisant of her fear of heights and prevalent anxiety at being in such a position.

But the force of her movement was too sudden, and the momentum caused her to step back once more even if her heel only met air. An imperceptible second passed that seemed to pause time entirely and within that space he was witness to the widening of her beautiful, terrified eyes as realisation struck her.

Her fear was acute as she fell backwards through the vines, carried by the sheer force of her own body's momentum, and it ripped through him like shards of glass coursing through his bloodstream.

He did not hesitate, did not waste one second, before he threw himself after her- leaping from the edge and parting the vines with a roar even as his limbs twisted and contorted, stretching and enlarging into the dragon's all-too familiar form. Streamlining his lithe body, he dipped easily towards her while tucking his wings close to his side as the limbs and leaves of trees whipped past, his long snout pointed towards the earth that was quickly rushing up to meet them.

Ensnaring her falling body in his talons was almost too easy, and he pulled her close to the scaled chestplate protecting his dragon's heart.

He snapped out his wings, intending to level out and take flight back to his ruins, however his span exceeded the close confines of the pine forest, the looming trees barring his means for a comfortable stretch. The obstruction was prevalent and made for an awkward flight, jarring against obstacles, and Aëghan was forced to tumble with less grace than he would have liked to the ground.

Cradling her protectively, he shielded her body with his as he careened into the dirt and undergrowth. Lillian clung to his neck, a shriek meeting his ears as they unceremoniously rolled through the mud, but at least she was safe and alive.

Once they had come to a halt, Aëghan uncurled his form, retaining his hold on her, and then he moved swiftly through the undergrowth with Lillian in his one arm. He did not halt his long strides until he was upon the ruins and entering the courtyard, and even then as he shifted once more into his human form, he kept his hold on her- swooping her into his arms and carrying her inside.

For the time being, he could sense that her fear had unsettled her and was taking precedence over her anger for she made no protest or attempt to lurch from his embrace. Instead, she was silent, trembling, clinging to him with fingers that bit into the skin of his shoulders, and tucked her head against his neck.

He ached for her.

He ached that he was the cause of it all.

When he deposited her on the edge of the bed within her chambers, Aëghan murmured that he would fix her a bath- noting how covered in mud they had both become from the fall, and a few errant, blood-rimmed scratches lined her fair cheeks and neck. He knew of little else what to do or how other to tend to her, proceeding on blind instinct alone rather than anything else.

If Lillian wanted her space from him, he would provide it willingly, but after the fright of her fall he somehow doubted she was favouring that. He was not dense enough to conceive that she had forgotten or forgiven him yet, but in lieu of anything else he knew he could provide for her in this sense, and it appealed to the intrinsic, baser need of his dragon- tending to her, ensuring her wellbeing, being the source of her calming.

Lillian was silent and unmoving through it all, her gaze averted to where her fingers were curled tightly together in her lap. Her unease was tangible, as readable as it was both nights of the storms, and he worked quickly, grateful for the aid of his abilities to fill the deep tub with hot water quicker than if he had none.

Once it was, he returned to her and gently coaxed her to her feet. She did not resist and came almost willingly to stand before him, a flash of alertness entering her startled gaze when she took in his naked form.

"Will you allow me to tend to you?" he asked, his voice carefully contrived to convey calmness and neutrality. Her eyes darted to his and for the first time since her fall she met his gaze. "It is not my intent to convince you otherwise of my actions, to abolish your feelings of distrust. I only desire to aid you while you are feeling vulnerable."

"I am not vulnerable," she muttered half-heartedly, averting her gaze.

"Will you allow it?" he pressed gently. "Nothing untoward will occur, you have my... word."

He realised he may have chosen the phrase poorly as her brow darkened, but she acquiesced surprisingly with a slight nod. "I am still furious," Lillian whispered, a warble trembling through her words.

Aëghan suppressed a smile, amazed at her ability to remain defiant after an event that may have very well rocked her staunchly contrived foundations of resilience asunder. He was not unaware that she was shaken, though she was stubbornly clinging to her dignity and strength as if her very soul depended on it. "Perhaps you will bestow me the great honour of enduring an explanation while I go about this," he mused, gently unknotting the scarf from under her chin and unwrapping it from her neck to dispose of upon the floor. "I'll simply talk, and you only need to listen, and whatever you decide- if you wish to decide anything at all- will be perfectly acceptable."

Her breathing was steady and deep, belying the notable trembling he spied in her fingers. His own hesitated briefly before the first button of her dark coat, and then he was working them through the placards, his movements efficient and brusque. The garment he coaxed from her shoulders, working her arms through the sleeves, and deposited it atop the abandoned scarf. She remained mute and unreadable as he worked, and Aëghan was truly concerned. Perhaps her state of shock was severe enough to warrant the need for a human physician, and he considered briefly if he should bundle her back into her coat and locate her one at the nearest settlement.

But then, while he was working at the fastenings of her tunic, she uttered, "If you wish to speak, then do so if nothing more than to distract me. I will... I will listen."

He studied her intently, but she wouldn't meet his gaze, even as he stripped her of the soft piece of clothing. "Distract you of what exactly? The effects of your ordeal, or the fact that I am very much naked before you, and that you will be too, soon?"

"Do not be glib," she rebuked mildly. Aëghan plucked the top two buttons of her shirt with a deliberate slowness, allotting her the opportunity to chastise him and push him away. "I spent four years among your kind- I am no stranger to nudity, and it has been some time since I found my sensibilities could be offended by such a thing." She did find his gaze then and he noted that some of the acute wildness had left her, even as she lifted her arms for him to pull her shirt over her head. He obliged while she continued, speaking through the fabric with a soft, aching lilt to her voice. "I need a distraction from the pain of betrayal. Even if... even if it is you who is to provide it, because the sad truth of it all is that I find myself with very few people I feel comfortable with of late. This world was once familiar but I feel as much of a stranger as can be since I've returned to it. I don't... I did not feel so at odds with you for a brief time, before you revealed to me the mark."

He removed her shirt and dropped to his knees before her, supplicating himself in the only way he could think how. Aëghan had never had to ask forgiveness from another living soul before and he was certain he did not deserve it from her either way, but if she was willing to reveal as much of her heart as she was to him, then he would endeavour to at least try to earn it from her.

Naked from the waist up, Lillian made no effort to shield herself from his view and he pressed his forehead against the taut curve of her stomach, his arms banding about her hips and pulling her against him. Fleetingly, he caught the intricate web-like network of the stark scars that cut across her skin against her flanks. Later, if she ever allowed it, he would spend time adoring and studying them.

"It was never my intention to cause you any pain," he admitted fiercely. "It was never my intention to nurture this closeness between you and I, but I could resist it no more than I could a deep yearning of my soul. When the mark first appeared, I could not fathom that my dealings with you should be straightforward, that you would accommodate a meeting with me let alone the revelations of what it meant to share the mark with you."

She swayed into him, her hands coming to settle on his shoulders for stability. "I would not have met with you willingly. I was distrustful..."

"You still are." He tilted his head back away from the heat of her flesh, the tantalising aroma of her skin, and peered up at her. A surge of desire stampeded through him but he tamped it down quickly, fiercely ignoring the view of her pert breasts. She was, he knew, spectacular with her lithe body on display for him, her pale skin a network of scars and taut muscle that had been honed from years of physical exertion. Lillian Adams was not petite, though she certainly could stand to partake of a regular meal regime- something he was aiming to rectify as he recalled the abandoned plum cakes and liquor Humphries had bequeathed them. "If I had approached you at Ravensfield with my intentions and revealed the mark to you, would you have been accommodating of me then?"

The answer was reflected across her mien and Aëghan bent his head, intent to remove her boots one by one, and she continued to brace her hands against his shoulders for support.

"I cannot truthfully say I would have been," she told him quietly. "But that does not mean you should not have. Perhaps, at first, I would have dismissed your need for me, but I was raised to be a leader, Aëghan. My father taught me to listen to reason and logic first and foremost, and if the reasoning is sound and compelling enough to appease our instinct, then one should consider acting."

"Your father sounds like a wise man."

He removed her belt next, and then slid her trousers from her limbs and she stepped out of them delicately. Having completed disrobing her, he stood and took her hand, leading her to the deep tub in the corner of her chambers. Plumes of steam curled in the air above the scented water.

"He was cold and firm, but his actions spoke of a need to ensure Millie and I would be able to rule over Ravensfield and protect each other from the cruelness of the society."

As he guided her into the water, Aëghan realised that her carefully guarded words leant to his understanding that Lillian rarely had another person to rely upon. Even if her father had her best interests at heart, beyond that security she had very little of a loving and carefree upbringing. In that sense then, they had more in common than he initially realised.

She lowered herself into the tub, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them closely as the water lapped at her shoulders. Aëghan knelt at her side, reaching for a cloth draped over the edge, when she considered him questioningly.

"You will not join me?"

He froze. Arousal threaded through his core, settling heavily in his groin and hardening his cock with an ache that made his jaw clench and his fingers twist the damp cloth he clasped. "Lillian, I may be acting with honour presently but my thoughts are teetering on a dark precipice that will not hold firm if I were to join you in there."

She glanced at him askance, through the tousled mop of hair that draped thickly over her shoulder and into the water. "Perhaps therein lies the appeal," she told him shrewdly. "You could prove to me that you are able to exhibit control." She turned her head fully to him, her eyes wide and solemn. "Show me I am able to trust you in this... that you would not act upon anything unless I condone it explicitly."

He swore then, softly and vehemently, and clenched his eyes shut. If he was meant to die a watery death at the expense of a beautiful duchess intent to see him expire of unrequited lust, then so be it. Aëghan stood with a bereaved sigh and opted to climb in the narrow space behind her, sure that the view of her front would undo him the moment he settled.

The bath was deep yet narrow, ensuring that Lillian pressed against him and the feel of her sleek skin in the hot water was so tantalizing that he was almost driven mad with want. "If this is your way of punishing me," Aëghan told her in an agonized voice, "then your methods are cruel, my dear." He eyed the arc of her spine that disappeared beneath the surface, her tapered waist and the gentle flare of her hips that were cradled between his thighs. He could have groaned for it, at how close she was to the evidence of his body's need for her.

"Is... is your desire for me genuine, or merely a result of the mark?"

He noted the insecurity in her tone and considered the question for a moment. "From my understanding, the marks serve as catalysts," he explained. "They are a guide, leading us to accept what was already prevalent and preordained by our souls. You can choose to ignore their significance, though I have not heard of any who have been marked in the past doing so."

"That hardly answers my question."

He couldn't stave off the urge to brush a damp tendril of her hair from her nape, pushing it to the side to reveal more of the elegant column for his perusal. "From the moment I laid eyes on you in Ravensfield's study, I wanted you." She shifted at his words, the water rippling against her pale skin with the movement. "Then I began to crave you, and it was almost my undoing- forcibly holding myself back from eradicating every odious male that flocked to court you. I am a male undone, Lillian, by the sight of you, the sound of your voice, your inner strength and dignity. It became instinctual to seek you out at any given possibility simply to relish your presence."

"Oh, God." She twisted to cast him an irate little glower, her brow lined and her lips turned down tightly. "Then why the hell would you keep the mark hidden from my knowledge when you knew I bore its match?"

"Because I can offer you nothing but this," he growled harshly, his angst stemming from his own self-reproach. "If- when- I discover how to leave this world, I will, and return to mine. Whatever this thing is between us would be all for naught, and I am unable to afford the complication of attachment if it is doomed to fail from the outset."

"I see," she murmured, her shoulders stiffening at his tone. "Have you considered that your world may not be as accommodating as you think it is?"

"As accommodating as yours? A society that found an untapped source of cheap labour in the form of helpless children and beat them daily into submission?" Frustrated at himself, he leaned back against the hard edge of the tub and ran his hand through his hair jerkily. "Regardless," he said, softening somewhat, "all of this is moot. Would you have entertained the notion of a courtship with me?"

"No."

"And now?"

She dropped her chin atop her shoulder, above the same arm that bore the telling black mark. Her scars were prominent that side, streaking over the skin of her back in intricate and jagged lines, stopping just before her spine. "I do not know."

"I cannot offer you one," he said, even if every part of him rebuked the