I told the doctor everything.

Well, not exactly everything, but more than he needed to know.

I tried to ignore Kevin's harsh glares from across the room while I explained to the doctor when it started, how much I eat everyday and what I think when I look at any kinds of food. But not why. No, I was not ready for the why yet.

"You have an eating disorder Mariah. I recommend you go to therapy and talk things through. I want you to start taking minerals until your body gets healthier. About the bruises, make sure to clean them every day and you will be just fine."

Eating disorder.

These two single words are so much more than what they sound like.

"An eating disorder?" I asked him, keeping the tears to myself and looking down at my rings.

"From what I have heard, yes, an eating disorder." He told me sadly.

"It can't be!"

"When was the last time you were not feeling well?" He tried to prove his point.

Pretty much all the time. But the running makes the disgusting feeling go away. 

"I am pretty sure your wounds won't heal as fast as normal people too. Your body is too weak and you can't hold yourself together most of the time. You will have to give up on running for a while and rest." I heard Kevin talking to the doctor before he walked inside his room to check on me, so I wasn't surprised when he mentioned my running... habit.

But to tell me to give up on running.

To rest.

It was all too much for one tragic day.

The anger turned into sadness then all I felt were my tears.

"But the running is all I know." I began sobbing, moving my teary eyes from the doctor to Kevin's large figure. He opened his arms for me and I ran towards him, hugging him like my life depended on it. 

"We will go through it together." He kissed me softly on my lips.

That night, Kevin laid me on his bed and kissed me for what seemed like hours.  Each kiss held her own emotion. When he told me that we need to stop before he rips the clothes off of me, I told him that I don't ever want to stop.

"I just got you back Mariah, if we rush things I might lose you. We both need to be fixed before we go to the next level." Was his response.

I wanted to cry.

The next day I woke up next to him, feeling his body's strong warmth. I turned around to face him, and began memorising the details of his peaceful face.

An hour later, when he opened his eyes, he began doing the exact same thing.

"Take your minerals then come downstairs. I have some answers to give you." He whispered, kissed my nose, and got out of bed.

"I can't take the minerals Kevin." I admitted to him. He turned around, looking confused and worried.

"Why?"

"Because..."

"Because?" He raised his perfect eyebrow.

"Because I can never swallow them." I blushed, feeling embarrassed.

"You are twenty four years old and you don't know how to even swallow pain killers?" He started laughing like crazy, bringing his hand to his shaped stomach to ease the pain that was forming from laughing. At me. Asshole.

"Stop!" I blushed even harder.

"You are full of surprises Mariah." He kept on laughing. What was so funny anyways?

"Tell me about it." I rolled my eyes at him, causing him to laugh even harder.

"Come on, I will teach you." He took my hand in his, leading me to his fancy bathroom.

It took me three hours, fifty four minutes and one second to swallow the fucking thing. Bur for the whole time, Kevin was by my side. Laughing at me, smiling at me, rolling his eyes at me.

Once I was done, there was a strong silence between us. He opened his mouth, looking down at the dark bathroom floor, but closed it instantly after looking up at me.

And I waited. I waited for him to start. Start giving me the answers I was thirsty for. It took him one hour, fifty four minutes and three seconds to start talking.

"Your father is the leader of the Italian mafia called 'The Dragons'. You are an only child, your father needed an heir. I am his best fighter-"

"You love yourself don't you?" The tension was killing me, and I couldn't help but laugh at him to gain back some control over myself. My father is the leader of a fucking mafia.

What the actual fuck?

"I do." He smiled and paused. Ten seconds later, he kept on going.

"So he chose me to replace him, but not without a condition. He told me that I will do a better job in keeping you safe and protected. If you ask me, it was a smart move. Keeping you separated from them so even if the Russians catch them, they won't be able to catch you as easily."

"My parents cared about keeping me safe?"

"Of course Mariah! They call me every single day, asking me about you."

"They do?" Don't cry, don't cry. Please don't cry.

"They do."

"Ok." Was all I could say.

"The shooting at the mall, they were trying to get you. The reason why I didn't let you go out as much was to keep you safe. Even the gym was dangerous for you by that point."

He paused, twenty seconds later, he kept on going.

"The police, we make any contact with them and we are all dead. Ellie's mother, the mafia found her easily. My gun...well, I am in the mafia."

He paused again, thirty seconds later, he kept on going.

"The hickey... I felt things for you. After the 'situation' with Mike, I got so mad that I wanted to kill him with my own bare hands. I felt like I have to protect you with all I had Mariah. I never felt that way before. I was confused, I tried to ignore the feelings. I got drunk. She kissed me, gave me an hickey. We stopped. I made a mistake and I am sorry. I told you, we both need to work on ourselves."

He breathed hard, forty seconds later, he kept on going. 

"Vladimir didn't know you are living with me, now he does. We killed most of his men the day we found you, but he managed to get away. He plans on attacking Mariah. I can't keep you safe anymore. I thought I could, but I can't."

Another pause, another sixty seconds.

"I failed your parents, I failed you and I am sorry. About everything. I am sorry about everything I did to you. You didn't deserve it. You are the strongest most beautiful woman I know. I am sorry I failed you. I am sorry I didn't give you the answers sooner. I was just trying to keep you safe."

Seventy seconds.

"You deserve the best more than any other person in the world."

Eighty seconds.

"So I am letting you go."

"What do you mean you are letting me go?" Pain. Emotional pain. Physical pain. All sorts of pain slowly killing my body.

"You promised to stay with me Kevin. I need you to stay with me." Tears. Sad tears. Angry tears. All sorts of tears slowly killing his body. 

"I forgive you. About everything. Please, just don't leave me. You are my best. You are what I deserve." I begged him.

"You hold me together Kevin. You make me feel. You make me want to change. You make me want to believe that good things are coming. There are many things we still have to work on, I know that Kevin. There are many thing we need to tell each other, I know that too. But if you leave me, I will break into pieces. I don't want to break into pieces again."

Ninety seconds.

Ninety seconds of me crying hard, struggling to breathe.

Ninety seconds of him, looking deeply into my broken eyes, realising how emotions can build a person yet destroy him.

"I love you. The only thing that needs protection is my heart. It's yours now and I trust you enough to protect it."

Kevin leaned towards me. Once our lips were close enough, we kissed each other with all we had. I felt his tears. He felt mine.

"I love you." He told me, kissing me just one more time before looking deeply inside my blue eyes, letting me see exactly what he felt.

Without walls.

Without any secrets.

"Let's go to Italy. Let's build a new life. Let's get away from here Mariah." He held both sides of my face and whispered.

"I would love that."

He smiled. I smiled. I saw his tears. He saw my tears.

"If you ever fucking tell me something like that again, I swear Kevin, I am going to murder you." I told him angrily.

"I thought I was doing what's best for you."

"Don't ever think that again."

"I didn't know you are that obsessed with me." He teased me with a smile.

"You are obsessed with me too." I teased him with a smile.

"I am. And my heart will not let that fact change anytime soon."

The end.

I don't know what about you, but I cried. I have been working on this story for a long time, and now it's time to let go.

I am sad, I am happy, and I love all of you guys.

I want you to know that if there is anything you want to talk about, I am here for you.

Talk to me, tell me everything. I will never judge.

Love you guys, hope you enjoyed my story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

❤️