Chapter 15

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"I want to go home." 

I needed to get away from this place, away from Mike. Kevin obviously heard our conversation but it's not like I owe him something. He can hear whatever he wants, I am not his fucking girlfriend, I don't need to give him any explanations. 

But guess what? He ignored me.

"Can we please go home Kevin?" I sounded desperate by this point. 

"No." He suddenly said, his voice sharp, his face not facing me but the loads of people in front of us.

"Why not?" I stubbornly asked.

"Because."

"Because?"

"Because."

"But I want to go home!" I yelled after I made sure that there was no one listening to our conversation.

He turned around to face me, and let me tell you

He was furious.

"You made me look like a fool in front of my whole freaking family, so don't you dare talk to me now about what you want Mariana."

"Wow, I didn't know you were that disparate to kiss me Jones."

His eyes flashed with even more anger and before he could say anything I heard my mother calling my name out loud, waking up so many people that were asleep on the table. My wedding was that boring, but they still came. 

My parents came. 

Before I could run away from my furious husband and annoying mother, she took my hands in hers, looking deeply in my eyes.

"Congratulations Mariah." Her eyes were shining from happiness.

What the hell? Why would she be happy when she knows that this wedding is the worst thing that I have ever witness? Well not really... but still! She is sick! Her hands was burning mine, so I quickly brought them back to my sides. Her eyes flashed with sadness but she tried her best to hide it.

"What do you want from me?" I sounded bored, but I was far away from that.

I wanted to hug her, talk to her, but I couldn't. She lost the right to be there for me the moment she gave up on me. I looked up into her eyes, and I felt pain all over my body, the exact same pain that I feel every time I look at her. Pain in my freaking heart. She was happy, freaking happy that I married someone that I don't love.

Or do I?

What the fuck? No! I don't love him, I hate him, he is an asshole, a jerk. 

"I am going home."

"You are not going anywhere."

"Watch me Jones."

I turned my back to them and walked towards the fancy exit door. I had no idea where I was going, but fuck it!

Fuck them. 

Fuck him.

"Eat your meal first, then I will think about taking you home." His voice was weak from the distance between us, but I could still hear him very clearly. I slowly turned around and said the only that came to my mind:

"I am not hungry."

"I don't give a damn."

So at the end I did eat. But I ate alone, in the hotel room that we apparently ranted for the night. The food was good but I was too mad to admit it to anyone. I knew that I didn't have to eat at all, because after all, we were gonna stay here for the night. The food was not my ticket back home like I thought it would be, but I knew that if he sees the food untouched, he will get mad. I didn't want to push him more after I resisted to kiss him in front of everyone. 

And so I ate. I ate so he won't get mad. I ate so I will have a peaceful night. After I was done eating, I went to the fancy grey bathroom to take a shower. I was being very careful not to ruin the beautiful dress while taking it off and surprisingly it worked. I didn't ruin it at all today. The warm water that were running down on my face made me think. Think about Mike. Mike. 

Mike ruined me. 

Now, he wants me back. How the fuck did he even have the guts to come close to me after what he had done. I felt so fucking disgusted just from hearing his voice. Kevin saw us together, but I bet he doesn't give a single fuck. Not that I give a fuck about Lucy too. 

The water were running and running, there was so much to think about that I just couldn't think at all. I only had one thought in mind that was pretty sick. 

I am so fucking messed up. I got married today and I am taking a shower in hopes that I will choke on the warm water and die. In hopes that Kevin would regret everything that he had ever done to me. From yelling at me on the first day I saw him, to telling me that I am freaking ugly and that I deserve answers to why I am here.

I am not the only one who is messed up

He is messed up too.

*********

"Get off the bed."

"W-what?"

"You heard me Mariana, get off the damn bed!"

"In your dreams Jones."

"Am I not being clear enough?"

"You are being very clear asshole, but being clear is not going to help you!"

"Get the fuck off!" He said, his tone very intimidating.

"Are you still mad because of the kiss?"

"What the fuck Mariana?"

"Ah, it's the kiss isn't it?" I said in a teasing voice.

"The kiss has nothing to do with the fact that I want you off my bed." He looked bothered.

"It's not your bed!" I said annoyed.

"So whose bed is it?"

"It's the hotel's bed dumb ass."

I rolled my eyes and laid on my side the bed facing the wall, trying to remember what I knew are going to be the last seconds of it. He circled the bed and came face to face with me, his eyes burning mine. 

I love his eyes. I could never get enough of them, when I look at them I feel so fucking calm and safe even if he is mad at me and his eyes only show fire. We were close, but he obviously didn't care.

"I am going to take a shower now, if I see you on MY bed when I come out I will make sure that you will be sleeping on the floor for the rest of your life."

He backed away quickly only then realising the space between us. Before he could even close the door of the bathroom I found the courage to say:

"Fuck you" but he ignored.

I got off the comfortable bed and laid on the first thing I saw.

The sofa.

Half of my body wasn't even able to fit in the small sofa, and I knew that I would wake up with strong pains all over my damn body. Perfect. After I got used to my position, I fell asleep slowly, thinking about how good it would be to have a blanket on me. 

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