Chapter Thirty-Nine

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It was our last night in the city I'd grown to consider home. Our friends planned one final outing to commemorate the last day of our old lives, and we decided to have dinner at a fancy restaurant, basking in each others' company.

After rummaging through Ariel's closet for hours, we finally settled on two of her last remaining dresses. The one I chose was in midnight blue, and it hugged me at the waist but then fell loosely past my hips. I curled my hair and let it drop in loose waves past my shoulders, and finished the look with perfect winged-liners.

As Ariel was putting on her nude high-heels - which matched her light pink fitted dress - the sound of our doorbell echoed in the house. I stalked towards the front door, my own heels clicking against the tiled floors, and I pulled open the door to greet Elliot.

He bore a wide smile as he spoke. "You girls ready?"

I nodded, calling over my shoulder for Ariel that Elliot's here; he was our ride for the night. I grabbed my light coat and pushed my hands through the sleeves, and then seconds later Ariel appeared in the hallway, walking towards us with both our clutches in hand. She handed me mine and then we turned to leave through the door.

In the car, Bella awaited us with an excited grin, her own hair styled into a loose bun, and wearing a gorgeous golden dress that looked to fall a little past her knees. My nerves were running on overdrive throughout the car ride, with a constant voice nagging in the back of my mind about how terrifying breaking this routine will be - how fearful leaving this life I'd grown so accustomed to behind will be.

By the time we arrived at the restaurant, I hadn't spoken a single word in the car as everyone conversed joyfully about so many differing topics. But I was relieved that none of them had noticed my unusual quietness.

As soon as we began to settle at our table inside the elegant, but dark-themed restaurant, Noah started approaching us. A small lump began to grow in my throat as I remembered everything that had happened between us in the past few days. Our relationship had gone from playful and loving to utterly awkward and confusing - and I hated thinking that's how easily our five-year relationship was going to end.

He greeted everyone with a general "hey" before taking his own seat perpendicular to mine. For a brief second, our eyes met, and I gave him a tight smile.

"I'm starving so let's get to it," Ariel spoke as she opened up her menu and began scanning the options written down, her words halting the waiter in his tracks. He gave a nod with a polite smile as he pulled out his small notepad and a pen, jotting down everyone's orders.

"I think I'll go with the usual - Mushroom Alfredo," I announced as I began to shut the menu.

"Can't ever give up the pasta, can you?" Noah commented as he glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. When our gazes met, he gave a nervous chuckle.

I forced on a smile. "Guess not."

Reaching out for my glass of water, I took a little sip, my gaze moving around the table as I felt Ariel's eyes on me. She raised her brows in curious amusement, but I just gave a slight shrug.

After a short waiting period, our dishes began to arrive. We wasted no time as we began to dig into the delicious courses, all the while discussing how different yet exciting this move will be. Ariel had her phone out and was scrolling past pictures, showing her inspo's to Bella and Elliot who hummed and nodded in response.

I was surprised to find that Elliot was genuinely interested in the topic, encouraging Ariel to show more pictures of how she imagined our kitchen and living-room to be.

I chuckled at their excitement. It was amusing how excited they were even though we were the ones moving away.

I suddenly felt someone's gaze on me. When I looked up, I saw Noah staring at me with a ghost of a smile.

I raised a brow.

He coughed and looked down, clearing his throat. "Nora, would you like to get some fresh air with me?" He asked, his eyes flashing to the front doors of the restaurant.

I hesistated for a second, my gaze shifting to everyone else seated at the table. But to no one's surprise, they were too preoccupied staring at Ariel's phone to notice us. When my eyes fell back on Noah, I found him to stare back with a pleading look, and a voice in the back of my mind insisted that I needed to sort this out before moving or else I might have to risk losing a friendship I appreciated all-together.

So reluctantly, I nodded.

A wide grin spread across Noah's face, and he stepped back to stand up from his seat. I got up as well, and only then did everyone's attention divert to us.

"We'll just step outside for a while - you guys keep doing your thing," I smiled teasingly. Elliot rolled his eyes but didn't hide his amazement.

"It's an interesting project, alright."

I hummed, biting back a smile while putting on my coat.

Noah walked a couple steps ahead of me, and the further we got from our table the tighter the knot in my stomach grew. Eventually we reached the front doors to the restaurant and we stepped outside into the chilly night, walking a bit further to the side of the front door where it was quieter.

Noah stopped in his tracks, his shoulders visibly stiff, and he inhaled deeply with his back still turned to me. And then abruptly he turned to finally face me.

I stood back silently, expectantly, waiting for him to break the silence first.

"Nora, don't do this." He finally spoke, a little painful strain in his voice.

My eyebrows came down into a confused frown. "I'm not doing anything."

Noah shook his head, exhaling a puff of air. "I mean tomorrow. Don't leave."

My eyes widened a fraction in understanding, but I quickly covered my expression with a deep sigh, shaking my head. "Noah, we've already decided."

"You don't even know this guy!"

"This isn't about him," I narrowed my eyes in annoyance. "I'm moving for a fresh start. Not everything I do concerns Xavier."

To my surprise, Noah let out a humorless chuckle. "You don't even realize it, but you do." My fists clenched down by my sides, and I felt the long nails digging into my palms. "You broke our trust, you moved us back and forth between two states, and now you're leaving us again, for him?"

I clenched my teeth, my anger raging inside of me. "You made me go to Indiana!"

"For your own safety! Had you never gone behind our back and dated the guy we wouldn't have had to seek his protection in the first place!"

"Did you bring me out here just to blame me for everything that went wrong?" I hissed between clenched teeth.

Noah shook his head. "I'm reminding you of all the reasons he's not good for you."

"And you are?"

A brief flash of surprise passed through Noah's jade orbs, and he took a step back as if my words had tackled him harder than expected.

"Are we just going to pretend that what happened at Xavier's home, never happened?" I asked, my voice lowering an octave.

Noah ran a hand through his hair, messing up the perfect quiff. "No, we're not."

"Then tell me what that was all about."

Noah laughed, his hand coming up again to rub over the small stubble growing on his chin. "You can be so oblivious sometimes, it's excruciating."

I frowned, not liking his words.

"I've had feelings for you for years, Nora." He confessed, his eyes hardening. "You always told us you weren't ready to date yet, and I always gave you space. I didn't want to force you into anything. But then-"

"Then you concluded you finally had the right to try and kiss me?" My fists clenched again, remembering us in the kitchen back at Xavier's place.

"Then, I thought I had the right to try." His voice had hardened, his shoulders turning stiff again. "You were willing to give a guy whom you knew absolutely nothing about, whom risked all our lives, who's probably goddamned mafia, a try!"

"At least I knew he felt the same way!"

Suddenly, Noah staggered back a step, my words hitting him harder than I intended. The brief flash of pain that passed through his once bright, shimmery gaze clenched my heart in my chest, and I quickly came to explain my response.

"I do love you, Noah. Just not-"

"Don't." My mouth fell open, interrupted by his sudden coldness. "Don't say it." He shook his head, strands of his soft hair falling over his forehead.

"Noah, please..." I pleaded for his eyes to meet mine, but he refused to.

Suddenly, his steps began to near me as he moved forward, but just when I thought he was going to stop in front of me, his footsteps continued past me in complete silence as he moved towards the doors of the restaurant, leaving me standing alone out in the chilly breeze.

My heart was clenching in my chest, and involuntarily, my eyes began to well up as I stared shockingly at the door he'd just passed through. I didn't want things to end this way. I was moving away the next day, and I had no other chance to fix things with him.

This couldn't mean the end of our friendship, could it?

My emotions were in a whirlwind. Pain, fear, anger all wrapped around my heart, and I gave a silent sob, a couple tears escaping the corner of my eyes and rolling down my cold cheeks.

But then suddenly, I felt the air shiver down my spine and my stomach give a slight flutter. Without having to second guess, I turned around to face the only person I knew to trigger such sensations.

"W-what are you doing here?" I rasped out, feeling the chilly breeze cool the long trails my tears had left behind on my cheeks.

"I wanted to make sure you were enjoying your last night." Xavier's warm velvety voice spoke as he came to a stop a couple feet ahead of me. He wore a fitted black tuxedo, his hands in the pockets of his dresspants. Gradually, one hand left his pocket and rose towards me, and he ran the back of his index finger along the wet trail on my cheek. "Those aren't happy tears."

I gulped down the growing lump in my throat, moving my head to the side and then slightly dabbing the tears away with the palm of my hands. "I-I just.." I began to explain, but the words felt heavier than before on my tongue; so I settled for one word instead, hoping he wouldn't prod further. "Noah."

Xavier nodded once, his hand sneaking its way into his pocket once more, and his eyes moving to the ground. I frowned, confused by his reaction. "You knew?"

His silver gaze met mine, swirling with different emotions. "I tried not to eavesdrop," he confessed, a hint of shame lingering in his voice.

I sighed, surprisingly grateful that he'd heard our conversation, because that meant I didn't have to word it again. "I didn't mean to hurt him," I whispered, feeling the lump's growing form in my throat yet once more.

"You're not obliged to love everyone back."

My gaze met his shimmering silver orbs, my eyes welling up again. The pain and fear of losing one of my closest friends gnawed at my chest. "But I do love him."

Xavier's gaze softened as he took a step forward, his warmth and scent now radiating off his build and engulfing me in a comforting manner. His hand came up to cup the side of my cheek, his thumb gently rubbing at my cold skin. "Just not the way he loves you."

My eyes widened as I registered his words. "H-how did you know? That he loves me, I mean." Does he also know Noah tried to kiss me? My heart clenched tightly at the thought - I didn't want him to. There was already enough tension between them as is.

"I could hear how his heartbeats rose within your presence," Xavier confessed.

I inhaled sharply, his words unintentionally hurting me more than they should've had the power to. "How long did you know?" Did everyone know how Noah felt towards me?

"Since the first day we met."

The lake inn.

I could feel my chest tightening as I ran different images in my mind - all the times I could have come to the conclusion that Noah had feelings for me, but was too oblivious to do so. And I hated it. I hated feeling oblivious and ignorant and naive, all the things I swore I'd never be.

"Come on," Xavier's familiar voice pulled me out of my thoughts, and I felt his hand sneaking down to grab my own. Feeling my cold, small hand be warmly engulfed by his own brought me an indescribably marvellous sensation of safety and contentment, and the feeling wrapped around my heavy heart like a magical blanket that shielded me away from all pain and heartbreak. "Let's get you home so you can get some rest. Tomorrow will be a long day."

When his lips curved up into an excited grin, my stomach fluttered once more, and I nodded in acceptance to his request.

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