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Thirty Three | Restricted content.

*Sexual content AND a tad of graphic/violent content.

Snow fell around us, as clouds blocked out the twinkling stars and reflective moon. It was colder out now, biting at my exposed face and of course my fingers. However, the cold was no match against the coldness I felt in my heart.

I sighed, practically jogging to keep up with the fuming man.

I never imagined Jax would come back so quickly. I also never thought he'd to hunting around the town looking for me. It should have warmed my heart but instead, a hot anxiety gripped at me. I knew I disappointed him and I wish I could brush that feeling off but for some reason it refused to leave.

"Jax–," I began, my fingers stretching to grip the sleeve of his jacket.

He pulled away, spinning around so fast that my foot slipped on a patch of ice. A startled scream sprang from my lips as I found myself falling – the ground rushing up to meet me. However, that didn't happen as arms reached out to steady me.

I looked up at Jax, surprised that he didn't let me fall but in a fleeting moment he also lost his footing and we came crashing down onto the snow covered path. He fell onto me, one arm wrapped around my back the other cushioning the back of my head. I winced slightly as his weight pressed down on me and when I opened the eyes that had closed on impact my voice caught in my throat.

Our faces were inches apart – so close that I could feel the heat of his breath fan my nose. My face turned a shade of red as I found myself getting lost in those hazel orbs that were riddled with flecks of gold and green.

"Are you alright?" He rasped out as flustered as I was.

I bit my lip nervously, "Jax I-I'm sorry."

And then the moment was gone as his eyes hardened. He got off of me and continued walking down the path leaving me laying in the snow. Again, I sighed and pushed myself up. I attempted to wipe as much snow off me as I could but, the wet substance had already soaked through my jacket and underclothing.

Once we got back to the house, I noticed Cam on the porch talking quickly with Flynn. Both heads turned towards us as we clambered up the wooden steps and Flynn sent me a sympathetic look. I returned it with a small smile and looked over at Cam who watched me with relief in his eyes.

"I'm glad you found her, Flynn suggested we go to the bar together?" Cam suggested.

Jax's eyes slid over to Cam then me, "We'll meet you there."

"You know what that means," Flynn teased, "We may not see her tonight."

My eyes widened as my face turned bright red, did Jax tell them about us? I glance over at him however, his eyes were wide and shocked, his own face red. Cam let out a laugh and nodded, the two didn't spare us a glance.

"Knowing Jax, he'll scold her into next week," Cam replied snickering.

Jax cleared his throat, rubbing his face annoyed, "Stop speaking."

They laughed, hopping off the porch. Cam turned slightly back to us and waved at me, "Don't take all night Mira!"

I nodded, watching them as they walked away. When I turned back to face Jax I was greeted with an empty porch and the front door slamming shut. Rolling my eyes at the lack of his manners, I remind myself that he was mad at me.

I pushed the door open and stepped through, the moment I did I became very nervous. I took my boots of but kept my wool jacket on as I looked around to find Jax. He was in the kitchen making a coffee. Completely ignoring me.

"Will you talk to me?" I groaned not able to take it anymore.

His fingers continued to stir the spoon inside his mug, his eyes locked on his actions and not me. Anger and guilt tore through me like a beast, and I could feel my heart throbbing for any form off attention. At this point I didn't even care if he yelled at me.

"Jax," I tried again, desperate this time, "I know you're mad–"

"Mad?" he cut me off, laughing bitterly, "No Erin, I'm not mad I'm fucking furious. I just lost one of my best friends and finally, finally when I find that shed of hope and happiness in life you completely fuck off. What if you died? Did you think of that? Or if Landon killed you too, you'd be leaving everyone around you to what? What would you want people to do? Do you ever think about anyone other than yourself?"

I flinched at his words, they felt like lashes against my heart and my gaze dropped to the floor. It hurt because I knew he was right. I deserved all the words he was hissing with venom. I deserved the poison.

"I'm sorry," I whispered softly.

He placed his mug down sharply, "No you're not. Don't feed me bullshit."

I looked up, blinking tears out of my eyes, my body was beginning to shiver from my wet clothing but I didn't care. I didn't want Jax to hate me – I couldn't let that happen.

"I didn't want you and Cam to hurt anymore – I thought if I dealt with Landon then that blood would be on me not you two!" I exclaimed with chattering teeth.

His eyes narrowed then softened as he stared at me.

"I was wrong, I'm sorry," I sniffled, holding back a sob.

He sighed, running a hand through those blonde locks, "Take your jacket off – you're shivering."

I nodded numbly, and shed my jacket. His eyes widened at sight of me but I didn't care about that. I needed to make up to him somehow, I needed him to forgive me. My legs rushed forward and I grabbed onto his arm. This time, he didn't stop me.

"I have a plan. I do and it will make sure that asshole pays for what he's done," I growled.

Jax's eyes floated from my face down and I looked down curious as to what had his attention so undivided. Surprise turned to embarrassment as my eyes widened at my soaked, white shirt that left nothing to the imagination.

"You pervert!" I squabbled, jumping back and away from him.

His arms caught me, caging me in and against the counter, "Eh? What happened to all that previous begging for my forgiveness? Now you're insulting me – that's not going to make me forgive you."

My face burned, "F-Fuck you!"

He leaned forward, his tongue darting out to lick the tip of my nose. I gasped, my words knotting in my mouth. A delicious tingle went down my spine and I could only stare at Jax. His eyes were bright and wild, a smirk on his face.

"I missed you," I admitted softly.

He paused, then sighed. His face leaning towards mine, "I missed you too. Damn it, you worried me kitten."

"I'm sorry," I breathed just before our lips met.

This kiss was slow, and sweet. 

[THE SMUT SCENE HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO "INNAPROPIATE CONTENT" YOU CAN HOWEVER, READ BOTH SMUT SCENES AND BONUS CONTENT IN THE BOOK! OUT ON AMAZON NOW: ABSENT, The Dead Zone Book One]

"Now," I panted, "You have to forgive me."

He snorted, I could feel him wiping my thighs clean and my heart warmed at the action, "As long as you don't scare me like that again – don't fall asleep, we promised Cameron we'd meet them at the bar."

I groaned forgetting about that, "Let's just sleep. He'll understand."

"Do you want to explain to him why we stayed behind to sleep."

My eyes snapped open and I sat up, pulling my pants up in record speed, "Let's go!"

"Mhm. Put on a dry shirt first."

"Maybe I should wear the gold shorts – ha!"

His head tilted, mischief sparkled in his eyes, "Not a bad idea."

I smacked him, rushing to my room to pull on a new shirt, then also pulling on a clean pair of undergarments and pants. When I met Jax back at the front door, he had already pulled on his boots however, he pulled on a hoodie and handed me his jacket. I took it with a rose brow.

"Yours is soaked, and you'll be a pain if you get sick. Wear it," he grunted.

I rolled my eyes, "How romantic."

"Survival first babe," he retorted.

I blushed and shoved my boots on then his jacket.

We left quickly, the snow fall had stopped for the time being which I for one, was grateful for. In fact, with the clear weather and Jax not being mad at me I wore a large, stupid grin on my face. Jax glanced over at me but didn't comment – I think I even saw the corners of his own mouth twitch.

Happiness bloomed in my chest and I held back a giggle. In a short walk we had made it to the bar and entered quickly. Jax held the door open for me and I muttered a warm thank you before scanning the room for Flynn and Cam.

However, my happiness turned to hate when they locked on Landon who seemed to be having a jolly ol' time playing pool with some of his guard buddies. Jax seemed to notice this too however, he quickly pulled me in the direction of Flynn and Cam.

They sat at a table in the middle of the room, with beers in their hands however they didn't seem too keen on drinking like usual. I could tell Cam was also off-put by Landon being in the room as his eyes kept skittering over to the pool table.

"Hey," Jax grunted sitting down at the table.

Cam jolted, then smiled at us, "Thought you'd never make it – what took so long?"

The question was innocent and light-hearted however, my face instantly became engulfed with red as I looked over to Jax to answer. However the man seemed to look off in the distance, a smirk on his face as he pretended not to hear Cam.

Damn him.

"You know, Jax's usual shit," I replied with a smug grin.

Cam laughed while Jax's eyes narrowed on me. Flynn looked between us, his brow rose but he didn't comment. A waiter came over with a tray of four shots and placed them silently down and I sighed. My heart missed Cici.

"Here," Flynn said suddenly, sliding two shots in front of me.

Without thinking I down then both, one at a time. It looked like water and smelt like water but down my throat it burned like gasoline mixed with acid. I dry heaved, my eyes stinging as my brain did somersaults.

"What. Was. That?" I whispered as Cam laughed.

Flynn grinned, "It's called Screech. Ninety-five percent alcohol."

My eyes widened and I looked at Flynn who downed his shot then Cam who also downed his. It was clear from their watering eyes that they were not immune to the substance however, due to Jax not drinking I realized I had taken one shot for him as well.

My eyes narrowed, "Why'd you give me Jax's then?"

Flynn smirked knowingly, "Thought you'd take one for the team."

I flipped him off, quickly feeling the alcohol starting to take effect as my mind began to get fuzzy and the world spun slightly around me. I shook my head to try and clear it however, it seemed to have little effect.

"Do you need water?" Jax asked me softly, the heat of his breath tickling my ear.

I shook my head, and smiled. A warmth from the alcohol spread through my body and I sat back in my seat quite calm and content. I realized now that Leon was probably still at the farm house waiting for me to come back and I giggled.

Just as I had the thought, a figure crossed over to us then sat down. I tilted my head at Leon who seemed very, very angry. I smiled warmly at him, not allowing him to bring my mood down and confusion flashed through those silver eyes.

"I'm sorry for forgetting about you," I told him.

He looked at the two shot glasses in front of me then rolled his eyes, "At least you're honest. And a light weight clearly – you all are."

Cam giggled like a school kid and sipped at his beer while Flynn frowned, "I'm not."

"Give it an hour," Leon replied then glanced at Jax, "And you?"

"I don't drink."

"Of course not," Leon snickered sarcastically.

I sighed deeply, I could feel my lips moving to push the air through my teeth.

Wait no.

That made no sense.

"Loosen up," words came out of my mouth as I tried to figure out how to function.

I looked down at the wooden table, my finger tracing the pattern. While I did so Flynn seemed content with talking to Leon. Cam kept Jax company with a list of jokes and I kept myself company. A flash of sadness hit me and I frowned.

"Don't be sad, it's always been like that," I reminded myself quietly.

"What?" Jax asked me confused.

I shook my head, realizing he had heard the remark. As I did I noticed a shadow crawl across the table and I looked up curiously as the conversations at our table died down. Landon stood in front of our table with two goons flanked on either side of time. At the back of the trio Caren stood nervously.

I frowned staring at the two kids that stood with Landon. They didn't even look old enough to wipe their own damn asses yet they seemed quite content with wiping Landon's. My eyes narrowed as Landon's drunk grin grew.

"Well, if it isn't the whore and all her boys. You know, you should be asking yourselves how she lived and that bitch, Cerci didn't," he slurred.

His words angered me and in that moment I wished I was sober. Around me, Cam and Flynn visually tensed while Jax and Leon seemed to struggle to stay calm. Under the table, Jax put his hand on my thigh, like a silent reminder not to freak out.

I scoffed, as if I needed to be reminded.

"Leave us Landon," Jax said calmly, "We're just celebrating Leon's first task."

Landon's eyes flickered to Leon who was content with glaring at him. Then he laughed, "Let me guess, you'll finish the night at her place? You each get a turn – hey can you file me in?"

"If you're trying to piss me off, it's not going to work. You're just embarrassing yourself," I sighed dramatically, shoving my anger down.

"Let's go back to pool," Caren suggested, pulling on her cousin's arm.

He pulled away as if he hadn't heard her, "Remember who the general is around here girl."

"And I wonder how long that will last boy," I taunted back.

His eyes widened and his face grew red and blotchy. The two on either side of him seemed to not like me irritating their little leader and moved closer to the table smashing Cam's cup off the table. We all turned to watch it shatter against the floor and the entire bar grew silent. This was a bad move as I was already annoyed.

"Jackson, Aaron you will clean that up," Jax said lowly.

Lethal.

"Fuck that! I ain't goin' stand an' let that bitch talk to Landon like that!" The one with a short Mohawk snarled drunkenly.

Leon tilted his head towards the kid as Jax slowly stood. Landon took a slight step back however, his two 'self-proclaimed' guard dogs did not.

"Get out," I snapped growing annoyed with all this commotion.

The other one, the one with a buzz cut rolled his eyes, "Are we supposed to listen to you woman? Why don't you go home and make dinner or something? If Cerci had been doing that instead of pretending to be a man she wouldn't be dead."

I blinked once, then twice then, like the warrior I was – I snapped.

My body leaned back in my chair, then as quickly as I did that I pushed myself forward raising my foot. My foot hit the edge of the table, sending it flying into Mohawk kid's knee. It loud out a loud BANG just before the wood splintered into his flesh.

He screamed like an infant, then fell back.

Buzz cut kid was slightly harder however. After seeing his friend fall, he sprang into action, swinging his fists wildly. I dodged the first one, rolling forward out of my seat and onto the floor. Buzz cut moved forward thinking my fall was unintentional.

I twisted out of his way, pushing myself up and shoving my fist into his mouth. Pain ebbed into my knuckles as blood splattered against my face and I had to pick a tooth from my skin. Buzz cut also fell sobbing.

"My mouph! My mouph!" he wailed.

At the sound of shattering glass I turned. Mohawk kid had gotten back up and the broken bottle in his hand had missed my stomach however did gorge me in the side. I gasped in sharply as pain shot though me and he grinned.

I caught of glimpse of Jax punching Landon in the stomach and I smiled. Seemed like I had started quite the bar fight. However, I didn't want to throw meaningless punches, I wanted to give these bastards a taste of hell.

Mohawk kid stabbed me again in the side, reminding me of my current fight. I looked back to him just as he grabbed my hair and yanked me forward. My feet stumbled slightly as my scalp burned and I welcomed the pain.

Once I was closer to him, I shoved him. He tripped surprised and landed on his back just as I brought my boot down on his already wounded knee. His knee let out a satisfying CRUNCH just as he began to scream. It brought a smile onto my face.

"Now," I practically sang, as I straddled him, "What were you saying about Cici?"

He spat at me, "F-Fuck you bitch."

Unbothered by his behaviour, I picked up a shard of glass that had been previously broken. His eyes widened as I held it above his disfigured knee. No doubt the shard would cut through his pant like butter.

"P-Please," he cried then pissed himself.

"Fuck you," I snarled, "You don't get to beg then disrespect someone as kind as Cici."

I shoved the shard into his knee, making sure to dig it in until I could feel the bloody popping of his tendons and the bones of his knee breaking into tiny pieces. It took me a few moments to realize he wasn't screaming anymore and I blinked down at his young face to realize he had passed out.

It was also then that I was pulled off of the young man and restrained with my arms tightly behind my back. I snarled, then calmed realizing Leon was the one restraining me. Looking down at myself I also noticed I was covered in blood and looking back to the two unconscious boys I felt guilty.

I had gone overboard.

I forced my eyes away from the two and looked at Landon, his eyes spoke volumes of fear and pure hate. I basked in that look, the one that reminded me not to have guilt. Instead I straightened my back, and wiped my face free of all emotions.

"I think," I told him slowly, each word carefully spoken, "My memory will return very soon. Soon Landon, you will pay the price for all your sins."

His eyes widened as I found Leon pulling me away. Over to where Jax was, both Cam and Flynn worked to get him out of the bar. In a blur we were back outside, the cold biting at my face and I sighed deeply, containing the feelings that clawed at my insides. My eyes drifted up to the sky were the clouds were growing dark.

Soon, a blizzard would hit.