Forty Four |

There was tables of tables set up with piles of salads, grilled buck meat, spicy jam, berries topped with honey and wine. Among that lights had been hung over the tables, with a large bon fire in about a ten foot circle of rocks away from the tables and manor.

Each table was packed with happy, laughing faces. Leon seemed to have skipped the event – I felt bad but I understood. People didn't like him here, and despite the warm atmosphere Luna and Alpha set I'm sure Leon didn't want to chance anything. So the celebration started without him. I sat with Lisa and Cam at Alpha and Luna's table. The only other face I recognized here was Lia. We filled our bellies with the delicious food – I was sure to fill my fat ass with as much cooked buck as I could. It was most definitely a step up from squirrel.

Once the food was more or less eaten, I realized there was more to this celebration. Alpha thanked everyone who showed, then thanked the short winter and new life to begin in the spring, then Luna stood. A smile on her face as she looked around. I watched her curiously, and noticed the entire crowd went silent.

"Is this apart of the celebration?" I whispered to Lisa.

She shushed me then shook her head, "This is new."

"We celebrate the Spring Equinox every year to thank the end of the winter but also to look forward to the coming spring. Each day we live with the rising sun, and each day new life takes shape," she paused to glance lovingly at Alpha before continuing, "This year we also take part in this cycle. Before the winter a new wolf will be born!"

The crowd began to cheer as Luna's words set in. It took me a moment to realize – Luna was pregnant! I smiled, happy for them both, they'd be great parents and by how they ran the Wolf Cove I was sure their child would never know of the Lyssasolanum virus.

"Let us begin the second part of our celebration!" Alpha chuckled, wrapping his arms around Luna.

At those words a new wave of cheering was caused before The drunken singing and sloppy dancing around the bon fire then filled the air as the sun began to set. I giggled, watching Cam dance with Lisa. They twirled and swirled around the fire while I sat on a tarp over the thawing ground. It was peaceful, a peace that I might not see again. That had me worried – about Lisa, and about Leon. As the moon began to rise, Luna came to sit beside me.

"Congratulations," I told her warmly.

She smiled, her hand resting under her belly, "Thank you friend. How are you feeling about leaving in two days? Any worries?"

A sigh escaped my lips, "I haven't learned anything for that damn sword. I don't know how Lisa will act in the City of Ash, I don't even know if I'll be able to trust Leon. I know he promised to keep me from Maxwell, but his sister is his priority. What if Maxwell uses that against him? Or worse, Maxwell recognizes Lisa?"

"Ah Lisa," she mused, "She's been wanting to go back to that place for years. Even before Junior took his life, she's had a rage inside her soul. A calculated rage that was once wild, now is planned out. She won't cause you any harm, she's a smart and strong woman. As for Maxwell...well, she was still only a girl when we left. Not to mention her skin's gotten lighter. You have to remind yourself Maxwell has a life – I'm sure the day we left is but ash to the wind for him. As for your sword, you'll get the hang of it. In battle it will come much easier than not. Your sword will show you hot to strike a true enemy down."

I nodded realizing she was right, "And Leon?"

"Him I can't help you with. You just have to remind yourself why you trust him, and if that's not good enough then I would cut the man loose."

"Cut who loose?" Leon grunted from behind us.

I flinched whilst Luna merely looked back at him with a scowl, "You decided to come out after all then. Help yourself to whatever food is left but please don't start any fights. I'm going to go join Alpha. Goodnight you two."

She stood then found Alpha tending to the bonfire. I watch the two interact lovey-dovey. Alpha protectively pulled Luna farther away from the flames. She snapped at him, swatting his arm before he pulled her into a hug. I smiled softly, and sadly. I don't think Jax and I ever had such moments. All we did was explosively yell to hurt each other then just agree to disagree or kiss. Kisses that lead to more than kisses.

I rested my face on my palms then looked towards the fire. No more than a minute went by before Leon joined me on the tarp with a plate of food in his hands. I glanced over at him, curiously watching him eat. Those silver eyes flickered to me before he continued to eat.

"Stop staring at me woman," he snapped, "I'm not going to toss you over to Maxwell the rare chance he uses Lori against me. She's smarter than that anyways, she'd never fall into his hands."

"And if he does?" I pressed with a frown.

Leon looked over at me, holding up his inked hand, "I'm an illicit too remember? The moment Maxwell realizes I'm not working for him means I'm against him. If he wants you then he'll want me back as well and just as I wouldn't let Maxwell have her – Lori isn't going to let him have me."

I realized slowly he was right. Guilt filled my heart and I knew I wasn't being kind to Leon. I think Alpha and Luna's opinion of him had for a brief moment swayed mine. But in that moment I had questioned a good man with the potential of harm. It made me feel nauseous.

Leon stood with his half full plate, "If it does come to something like that then Lori and I will figure it out. We've always been on our own, we know better than to drag people into our own shit. Thanks for the confidence tho brat."

I bit my lip nervously, "I-I'm sorry Leon."

His eyes rolled, "I'm joking. I know how easily thoughts change when perfect people are preaching. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Leon," I replied silently vowing to not allow my opinion of the man change.

***

"Today's your last day of training so put your damn arms into it!" Alpha snapped.

I groaned, striking the massive log once more. The thin, light axe stuck into the bark. I struggled only slightly before pulling the axe back out. Sweat clung to my skin despite the cloudy weather. We had been at this since sun rise – up until now.

"Why are we even doing this?" I grunted swinging again.

He waved my question off, "Because you'll find your sword getting stuck a few times in flesh. Then what? You need to be ready for that or you'll end up losing your sword and your head."

My arms paused at his words: you'll find your sword getting stuck a few times in flesh.

Like Landon.

I yanked my hand down. His jaw creaked before his skin ripped. Blood splattered on my hands, my face, my attire, the ground, the snow and Landon's remaining body. His sudden lack of jaw gushed the crimson liquid and I quickly let go, rearing back.

"Monster!" Caren screamed, "You monster!"

I gasped, taking a step back. The axe falling from my fingers as my hands raised to hold my head. Bile rose in my throat. I had killed a man with my bare hands – I had no doubt in my strength. I never wished to feel that sensation of cutting through fresh again.

"Mira?" Alpha asked carefully.

I took a breath before pushing down the bile and those thoughts. I needed to keep a calm mind to swing that blade. I knew he meant rotting flesh and not living flesh – I needed to keep my thoughts of that and not the latter.

"I'm fine. I just stumbled," I lied, gritting my teeth and swinging the blade once more.

He rose a brow, "Take a water break."

"I said I'm fine!" I argued not liking the idea of him thinking I'm weak.

He grabbed the hilt of the axe mid-swing, wrenching it from my fingers and tossing it aside, "And I said take a damn break. It doesn't mean you're weak for needing a minute to collect yourself. We all have those moments every day."

I froze before looking at him, at this distance I could see the faint scars on his arms and even face. I was foolish before this to think it was from zombies. Rotting flesh could bite but they could not cause such scars.

"Alpha," I whispered softly, "Have you ever killed a man before?"

He seemed to pause, then turned his back to pick up the axe, "This world may be filled with many forms of freedom, but it's also filled with many forms of cruelty. It's hard to be good and full of morals. Especially when everyone wants that piece of safety you have. Good people turn bad but it's also bad people who turn good."

I frowned slightly, confused, "I don't understand."

He turned towards me, his face hard as he handed me the axe, "When you take that vow to protect others – anyone at all – you also take the vow to put all lives before theirs. For that you must be willing to take lives, real lives from real people trying their best to survive in this world. It is a sacrifice you must take for those you promised. Now break's up start swinging."

"Yes sir," I mumbled my head spinning with his words.

So I kept swinging, a new determination filling me. He was right, which meant I would need to become strong enough to battle not only the undead but those with evil hearts. Like Maxwell and anyone else who'd stand against those I protected.

That's what I would tell myself, lives lost for those I protected was justified. I pushed away my coiling gut and I pushed away those thoughts of Landon. I didn't need to forget how I killed Landon, but how much I enjoyed it.

Because I knew, that was not the sacrifice Alpha was talking about.