Chapter 46: Emotional

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The week passed faster than expected. With everything going on, everything being my new routine and my new moments of relaxation I had to incorporate to my day to day life, the fact that Nico wasn't here was being more bearable.

I didn't like to think it that way, but he was sort of my go-to when I wanted to relax. I would just call him, I would go see him. He talked about his things and I listened, he held me, he kissed me in every place that I allowed and I just felt calm. I didn't have that before, and I appreciated it.

But I didn't have that in me, I didn't like that I had to find it in someone else, that was why I was so glad that I had gone to therapy.

Those little moments where I took a bath, set up some candles, put on some music and just breathed, being present with myself, were the bests. I didn't know I could improve so much in just one week. My fingers were easy to handle, it was my body, I could control them. The dilators were a little hard at first, I was too stiff just thinking that that thing could go inside me. Then I breathed as they taught me, relaxing as I let it slip inside me. I actually didn't notice the first one. I could go into the next one in the same day. By the fourth day, I could easily get inside me one of a normal sized penis. My therapist said I was ready for intercourse.

I guessed she meant to have sex.

Surprisingly, no member of my family disturbed me. I think it was the fact that I menaced with leaving the house the first time they knocked on the door.

Yeah, it was probably that.

I was waiting for Nico at the airport. It was actually the first time that I arrived early to something. I was just so anxious to see him. We didn't talk much and when we did, I didn't want to tell him my improvements since I wanted it to be a surprise. I was ready to do it and I wanted to do it as soon as possible.

I parked and decided to go inside. I knew it would cost me an arm and a leg but I wanted to meet him inside.

I was looking at the arrival times, trying to figure out which plane was Nico's when I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist.

"Hola, bombón."

I turned around and smiled widely, encircling my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek a couple of times. I liked when he talked in any language but I was glad I understood a little bit of this one. I knew what 'hola' meant.

"How was your flight?" I pulled away and examined him. "You look tanned! What did you do?"

"I told you, most of the shootings were at the beach." He grumbled, hiding his face in the crook of my neck. "And I don't look tanned I look red as fuck."

I laughed. "You look cute."

"I wanna look hot and cool, not cute." He mumbled.

"Oh, come on. You know you look like that the rest of the year." I tapped his back. "I brought my car."

"Do you think this'll fit?" He pulled away and we both glanced back at his suitcase.

"Nico!" I widened my eyes. "What do you have in there?"

"I would excuse myself and tell you that they are mostly things for the camera, but I just didn't know what to wear for the trip." He smiled boyishly.

My boyfriend was way more worried about his image than me, that was a fact.

"If it doesn't fit, you're going in the back."

We arrived at the car and I couldn't take my hands off him. I pushed his hair back, I wrapped my arms around his waist, I grabbed his hand. I think he was actually glad we got to the car.

"You drive." I told him, giving my my keys. "I'm nervous."

He smiled, shaking his head as he grabbed my keys. He put on his sunglasses and opened the door.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked, closing my door.

"Because you're cute."

I rolled my eyes trying to fight a smile, opening the glove box to grab my sunglasses.

"I've never seen you wear sunglasses." Nico mentioned, starting the engine.

"They're new." I smiled. "I felt like treating myself this week."

"You're chirpy." He pointed out, letting out a little laugh.

"I'm excited." I bounced on my seat and I glanced at him. "You look really good." I rubbed his chest, kissing his neck.

"Hey, don't do that." He chuckled, raising his shoulder up to his ear. "We don't wanna have an accident."

"Sorry. I really, really wanna kiss you." I whispered, trying to put on my sexiest voice.

He placed his hand on my leg, his fingers too close to my inner thighs. "Want me to pull over?" He joked.

"Yes." I said, almost out of breath.

He laughed and kept on driving. When he realized I wasn't laughing, he squeezed my thigh and glanced at me. "You're being serious?"

I nodded. "I can't wait to be with you."

Nico swallowed, putting his hand back on the steering wheel. "Uhm..." he gazed out the left window. "We're thirty minutes away. I can drive up to that waste ground that's just before your neighborhood."

"How far is that?"

"Twenty minutes."

We stayed in silence the rest of the ride. He was aroused, I could feel it. And I was nervous, he just didn't know why. I was going to do it, I was ready. I really wanted to give that to him, I felt like he had been waiting for me and I didn't like how that made me feel.

When we arrived to the clearing, he parked, taking off his seatbelt. "Here we are." He breathed out.

I mimicked him and took off my sunglasses, jumping from my seat and climbing up to his lap, taking his off in the way and throwing them to my seat.

"Mon Dieu." He laughed. "What are you doing?"

I kissed his neck, my hands coming up to meet his chest. "Nico, I've been dying to tell you."

"What?" He said before I kissed his lips, my fingers running through his hair. "Mhm."

"I did it. I fixed it." My kisses grew more passionate as the impatience in me increased.

"You fixed what?"

"I can do it now, I'm ready." As I opened his lips with my tongue, Nico moaned.

He was about to let himself go when he decided to fight his instincts. He stopped me, gripping my biceps and pulling us apart.

"Bébé."

"What?" I frowned. "You don't wanna do it?"

"Cara." He closed his eyes hard, breathing through his nose. "I'm not doing it in your car."

"Why not?" My frown deepened.

He opened them. "Because it's your first time, I don't want-"

"It's not my first time." I retorted.

"But it is." His hand cupped my cheek. "Somehow it is. It has to be special. I don't want you to think of it as some quicky in the back seat of your car. That's not how's supposed to be."

"But I... I thought you'd want to do it." I shook my head, not comprehending. My eyes were becoming watery. "You've been waiting for so long, I told you, I'm ready-"

"That's what this is about?" He frowned, his eyes examining my face. I still didn't get it. He placed a light kiss on the back of my hand. "Cara. I could wait years for you. I wouldn't care. You don't have to do this for me." He pursed his lips, trying to find the words as he played with my fingers in his hand. "You didn't have to fix anything, you're not broken, okay?"

I bit the corner of my mouth, my eyes searching his. The whole excitement I was feeling came crashing down into pieces. I felt pathetic, embarrassed and some part of me knew he was right.

"This is not something you need to get over with." He spoke softly. When his thumb brushed my face I realized a tear had fallen down my cheek. "This is something to feel good. To connect. Trust me. We'll do it a million times in this car if you want. Just not today. You'll thank me later."

I stayed quiet, focused on a tattoo in his neck.

"Okay?"

"Yeah." I sniffed.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. I gripped his T-shirt as he stroked my hair. I could hear his heart beating against my ear. Somehow after all of this, he was calm, what made me feel calm too.

"I love you, okay?" He whispered.

I nodded. "I love you, too."

"Wanna go grab an ice cream?"

"Yes, please."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You get fidgety when you're emotional." Nico pointed out.

We were watching a movie, but he wasn't really paying attention. I could feel him lost in his thoughts and his eyes were sometimes focused on me.

I glanced up at him, questioning.

"When you're about to cry, you move a lot. As if you were uncomfortable."

"I don't like crying and least of all, crying in front of you." I chuckled.

"I don't... mind if you do." He murmured. "I just mean... you can trust me."

"I know." I nodded, readjusting my body against his in the bed.

"You also do it when I get all sappy."

He was right, emotional and romantic things made me uncomfortable. "She's gonna marry that guy and discover that she's in love with the other, but he's gonna kill him before she can find him."

Nico chuckled. "You sure about that?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Well, I've seen this movie. I'm sorry to say that it doesn't end like that. It's a comedy, Cara. There's no killing."

"You just have to know everything, don't you?" I asked amused, glancing up at him.

He scrunched up his nose, rubbing it against mine. "Luca asked me if we wanted to have lunch with them tomorrow."

"Who's them?"

"Riley and Luca."

"Oh. Okay." I whispered, my eyes going back to the movie. "Tomorrow's Sunday, right?"

"Yeah." Nico chuckled.

One of the corner of my lips curled up into a smile. "I was just making sure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay! I took my time to have it all planned up. I know how the book ends, it's nothing great, but I think this book has been a bit of a roller coaster already.

That doesn't mean that nothing's happening until there. 😈 Any thoughts about what could possibly happen from now on??

Thanks so much for reading! Don't forget to vote and let me know what you think in the comments ✨❤️

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