Ben had to be at work after he dropped me off at the doctor's, so I had to take the bus home. I took the wrong one so when I arrived at a neighborhood I had never been on, I decided to get out. Thank god, the bus I actually had to take, stopped at a bus stop nearby.

After two hours of a very uneventful trip, notice the sarcasm, I arrived home. I didn't know what to do, so I went for a run.

That night before dinner, I was listening to music in bed -a playlist Nico had shared with me- so that I would stop my thoughts from going over what happened yesterday. I felt embarrassed just thinking about it but at the same time glad I knocked down one of my barriers. I let him touch me, I let him know me. Maybe I wasn't so broken after all.

And it felt amazing.

The only thing bugging me was the fact that I didn't return the favor. I had never actually touched a... I blushed just thinking about it.

Dick, Cara. It's called dick.

Anxiety took over me. What if I didn't know how to do it? What if I couldn't make him feel that good?

I told Nico I wasn't a virgin, that is as far as he knew, but I was beginning to think he suspected what was behind my insecurities around sex. I mean, it wasn't normal that I had sex but nobody had ever touched me.

He had to be questioning why I wouldn't let his fingers go any further.

I needed to stop thinking that Nico was oblivious to it all, he was smart. The smartest person I knew.

Maybe it was time to tell him?

I heard Brandon's car park outside and I took a deep breath. I had been preparing my speech all day, but right now, I was totally blank.

When ten minutes had passed, I walked down the stairs. Grandpa was at his usual seat on the couch watching TV, Brandon was at the table drinking a beer, Sandro on his lap rubbing his stubble. Ben was watching something on his laptop, Justin beside him with his head on his shoulder. It was cute seeing how their relationship had grown. Mom was by the kitchen door, eating a banana before going to work as she watched the TV in the living room. The twins were at the table doing homework.

I cleared my throat. "Guys." Everyone raised their heads to look at me. Except for Ben who was too distracted. Justin tapped his chest and he turned to me, furrowing his brow.

"I- Uhm. I'm dating Nico. Just wanted you to know."

My brothers looked surprised, mom not so much. Grandpa had a little smile on his face. None of them said anything. I stood awkwardly by the door, rocking my feet back and forth. "Mhm, that's all." I looked around. "Nobody's gonna say anything?"

They all started to speak at the same time. "Wait, wait, wait. One at a time."

"I knew it would happen soon, honey. I know you." Mom said.

"Yeah, I just didn't know that it'd be that soon." Brandon added.

"You were chirpier than usual this morning, but I just assumed you guys'd had sex or something, not that it was offic-"

"Ben!" My mom and I said at the same time.

Oli and Oscar began with the questions.

"That." I pointed to them as I looked at Ben. "It's not my problem."

I turned around so I could go to my room when I felt tiny steps walking behind me. Justin was following me, so I picked him up and made my way to my room.

"Remember Nico, right?" I told him when I sat us down, my back against the wall. I took his little hands in mine.

He nodded.

"He is my boyfriend." It felt so weird saying that out loud. I didn't want to have secrets with my family and if I was going to do this, it needed to be serious. That's why I needed to get it out of my chest. I rather them knowing now than discovering it later.

He nodded.

"You like him?"

"Yes." He half smiled. "He likes Spider-Man."

"He does." I chuckled.

Oli and Oscar stormed into the bedroom.

"Hey, so dating means he's your boyfriend?"

"Wasn't he your boyfriend before?"

"Is it true what Ben said?"

"What is that exactly?"

I covered my face with Justin's hands while he just laughed. "Ben!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dropping the news at home, we had a little sex education chat with the twins. Ash called just five minutes after that, mad that I hadn't told him before everyone. He told me he thought he was my favorite brother -which he wasn't , it's Justin- and that I had disappointed him. He suddenly stopped being mad and asked a million questions about Nico and I. Telling me that he liked him a lot and that he seemed like a really cool guy.

Which he was.

Nico was wearing a pair of black sunglasses, cigarette in hand as he stared at me, making me blush. He was wearing a blue navy shirt, a little tight around the biceps, which made them look bigger. His tattoos making an appearance at the base of his neck and his forearms. His curls didn't fall down his forehead, they were messy and all over the place, which made me think he didn't even try to look presentable for work this morning.

He had told me he didn't have to work after lunch, so I decided to pay him a visit and go have something to eat together. We were waiting for the waiter to come, and Nico wouldn't stop looking at me.

"Can you stop?"

He gave a drag to the cigarette and smiled, the smoke coming out of his nostrils. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I looked away. The city was crowded today, the climate so good that people didn't want to stay at home. The terrace in this restaurant was also crowded, but turned out, Nico knew the owner -I didn't even wanna know why- and he managed to get a table. "You're staring."

"I am?"

I rested my elbows on the table, covering my face.

He laughed and removed my hands with one of his. "I'm just admiring the beauty." He put the cigarette out and approached his chair a little. He looked at me straight in the eyes, narrowing his.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, our faces close.

"That I really wanna paint you. For real." He smiled when I pursed my lips in embarrassment. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I want to... I want to kiss you."

"Oh, yeah?" He smirked, staring at me playfully, he then moved his face, his lips almost brushing mine and whispered into my ear. "And maybe do a little more, like the last time?"

It was physically impossible to blush more than I did. He pulled away and I was so out of it, I didn't understand why he did it. The waiter had come and Nico was smiling up at him.

"Yes, the mushroom risotto for me and the chicken tortellini for the lady." He said, handing the waiter the menus. "Merci."

I took a sip from my water, trying to calm down.

"You can kiss me whenever you want, you know? You were the one who dodged my face before." He laughed. It was true, when I met him down his workplace, everyone was getting out of the building and I got too embarrassed, I made him kiss my cheek when he walked over and tried to give me a kiss on the lips. Luckily he did as if he didn't notice and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, placing another kiss to the top of my head.

But he did notice. Of course, Cara.

"I got nervous."

"We'll get better at it." He said with half a smile. "You feel different?"

"Around you?" I asked.

"With the new meds." He chuckled.

"Oh, uhm... no, I don't think so." I glanced down at my hands that were playing with the little drops around my glass. "I just feel..." I gazed up at him. "More present, you know?"

He nodded.

"I can easily hold a conversation now, and I don't get so distracted by things."

"I noticed." He said. "This place is crowded and you didn't lose your focus on me." His lips began to slowly curl up into a smile before breaking out laughing.

"You're so silly." I laughed, running a hand through my hair in embarrassment. "I'm just looking at you 'cause you're doing the same."

"I'm a guy in love, Cara." He leaned back on his chair and stretched his legs. "What can I say?"

I hadn't stopped thinking about that. It made me anxious that I couldn't understand my feelings, that I didn't have that clarity that everyone talked about. Brandon told me when you were in love, you knew. Ash told me almost the same thing just adding something about how sometimes it just suddenly clicks.

Sometimes you're just looking at someone, and it clicks.

"Nico." I called him softly, biting the corner of my mouth.

"Cara." I loved when he did that. When he also said my name in that low tone he only knew, with that particular accent that I found so funny and weird at the beginning, but so beautiful now. The way he always accentuated the last syllable.

"How can you know you're in love when you... when you've never been in love with anybody else?" I frowned confused.

Nico licked his lips and took his time answering. He glanced up at the sky, tightening his lips then looked down at me again. "You know, it's weird, because I didn't even believe in love before. I just thought people were like... addicted, hung up to one another and then the effects would go away or something. Like a drug. I thought it was insane, how could one just say I'm in love and then cheat, or treat them badly, or, you know... I didn't have a good example growing up. And people around me, it all just seemed so... fake." Nico ran his fingers through his hair, making it even messier and took off his sunglasses, putting them on the table. "But then I met you." He gave me a little smile, although he turned serious instantly. "When I first saw you I knew right away that I was attracted to you. And then you said no to my date, and I just thought I was feeling kind of obsessed with you 'cause you rejected me. But I was so wrong. I was beginning to have strong feelings and I didn't even know."

I swallowed hard, staring at him with my heart beating fast.

"Those effects I thought love had... they don't go away. They stay there all the time. They intensify when I'm with you and when I'm not, I feel like I'm going crazy." He frowned, staring down at his hands on the table. "I'm very protective around you, you'd awakened a side in me I didn't even believe I could have. I used to don't give a shit about people but now I feel like... like I want to take care of you. Like I wanna make you happy."

He stayed quiet, glanced up at me and hid his bottom lip inside his mouth. "I ranted a little bit, I hope that answered your question."

I wasn't even thinking when I grabbed his face with both my hands and crashed my lips against his. It was the only way I knew for now how to tell him what I felt. His lips easily molded into mine, feeling soft and firm around my mouth.

We pulled away out of breath, and I kept our faces close, my eyes studying his trying to figure him out. Those were very strong feelings, beautiful and scary at the same time.

I whispered. "Why... why me?"

One of the corner of his lips curled up into a smile. "And why not you?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys! This week they'll be two updates, next one is on Thursday. It'll be a steamy one but you'll also discover some unpleasant things...

I am little stuck at the moment with this book... I don't know how to end it or when to end it, so I don't know how many chapters they're gonna be left. All I know is that it'll probably be longer than my other ones.

Hope you liked the chapter! Thoughts??

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to vote and let me know what you think in the comments ✨