Ever so slowly, my lips began to curl into a smile. I started to laugh. I lowered down my head and covered my face.

Oh, god. Why am I like this?

I didn't want to laugh, I was just nervous.

"Okay, I wasn't expecting that." I heard Nico mutter.

As I continued to laugh, I heard him murmur a few things in French, which made me raise my head up in curiosity. I sobered up, my breathing calming down. He wasn't laughing, he had a weird look on his face, which brought the thought to my head that I had probably hurt his feelings.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I breathed out slowly. "I don't know what's going on. I'm nervous."

He sucked on his bottom lip as he kept on looking at me.

"I- I have never had a boyfriend, Nico."

"I've never had a boyfriend either." He shook his head as he scratched the back of his neck. "Or a girlfriend, whatever."

"I'm-" The need to laugh had completely disappeared, now I just had an immense urge to cry. I felt suffocated and I didn't know how to explain it.

Would I ruin things? What if I messed this up? He was too important to me for that. What if he got tired of me? When the hype came down, at the end of the day, I would be just a normal girl- what was I saying, I wasn't even a normal girl. I had thousands of problems not only in my head but in my life. I didn't even have free time most of the time, I was dedicated to my career since that was the only thing I had. If he lost interest in the person I was now, I was nothing else. Because I couldn't be anything else. I didn't know how.

I was messed up, I forgot things, I got bored easily. I needed someone to control me, control that I didn't burn my house while I wasn't there. But at the same time, I couldn't ask anyone to do that. I didn't want a nanny. A relationship went both ways, and I wasn't sure if I could take care of anyone else.

"I'm a little overwhelmed."

"It's okay." He brought his hand forward and squeezed my leg. "Just think about it. When you have your answer, you know where to find me." Nico approached his body to mine and placed a light kiss to my forehead. "It's okay if you say no. It'll suck, I'm not gonna lie, but I'd still want you in my life."

I stayed quiet as he brought his body out of the car and pressed the intercom. Ace's reply came almost instantly.

"You guys are late. Martina's already here." He sighed. "Come in."

Nico shrugged and gave me an apologetic smile as the gate opened. "I'm always late."

I slowly smiled, staring at him as he started the engine again. "Yeah, I'm always late, too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The house was huge, the party was in the backyard. Turned out, this was Ace's parents' house, but they were out of the country so they let him celebrate it here.

I was probably the only one that didn't bring a present and I felt really bad. Nico was always so thoughtful, he bought flowers. He tried to squeeze it and said that it was from the both of us, but it was obvious from my face that I didn't participate. Martina was thankful though, she seemed really intimidating and confident but she was quite the opposite. I mean, she was still confident, but not the kind of girl who would bring you down. She was nice and I could guess why there were so many people in the house. Everyone looked older, around Martina's age, who was 27 today.

She had lots of friends. Maybe all of them weren't exactly friends, me being the proof, but they all liked her. I had never in my life had so many people in the same room who liked me. I had followers on Instagram, but I didn't know those people.

I felt a little weird, not that I had a shy personality or anything, it could seem like I was, but I was just very cautious around people. Most of my childhood and teenage years I was bullied, so we could say making friends had never been my biggest priority. Besides, I still wasn't taking any meds, so my conversations couldn't last longer than a few minutes. I got distracted easily.

I decided to be an extension of Nico's body. I sticked to him as if my life depended on it. Some girls complimented my outfit and tried to engage shallow talk, which I was fine with. I could do that. Two people recognized me, which was great. Some of them were fascinated with the fact that I was a figure skater. I could talk about that for hours without getting bored but I was afraid people could bore out easily.

When Nico talked, I relaxed. I tried to listen to him and I laughed here and there. However, I was more focused on the other side of the backyard. There was this big pool and just at the end of it, there was grass for days. This place was enormous. There were a few guys playing soccer on the grass and I wondered why there were no girls playing.

"You know, you could go ask if you can play." Nico whispered in my ear. He had noticed I hadn't stopped staring.

"But there are only guys." I muttered.

Nico chuckled. "When has that stopped you?"

He was right. The only thing stopping me today was this stupid dress, but I guess I could work with it.

"I-I'll be right back."

Taking a deep breath, I walked towards the guys. There were a few girls nearby, but they were just looking. Probably because most of the guys had already taken off their shirts. They were playing with boots and I was just wearing sneakers but again, I could work with it.

"Hey!" I yelled. Some of them stopped playing to look at me. I recognized just Luca and Ace, but I guess that was enough. "Can I play?"

"You know how to?" Luca asked.

"Yeah."

Luca glanced at Ace.

"Uh, sure." Ace nodded. "We'll rearrange the teams."

I heard some grumbling. Some of the guys even complained out loud, but I didn't care. I limited to put my hair up in a ponytail.

"I want her with me." A tall guy with dark hair said. "I wanna see what she's capable of."

I forgot the names of the members of my team just as they told me. I just knew Ace. He said his little sister also played. He also said I had balls to come play with these guys.

I hated that, I didn't have balls, I had ovaries, but whatever. I guess it was a compliment.

When the game started, I had the feeling they were being easy on me.

Guess what? I also hated that.

After ten minutes of the game, when I had managed to dodge everyone and score a goal to Luca, who was the goalie of the other team, they all got serious.

The tall dark haired guy that chose me before as if I was a Pokémon, high fived me. "Good job, blondie." He winked. Everyone called him Cam, so I guessed that was his name. What I didn't get was why he called me blondie when I was the only girl in the team. It wasn't so difficult to learn my name, was it?

The game got tense. Everyone realized, that I could, in fact, as I -if my memory didn't trick me- recalled saying before, play.

Scoring a goal after that, was a little harder, although that didn't stop me. I wasn't as big as them, but I was fast. I was strong too, but my height, even though I was tall, was my Achilles heel.

After a while I realized, we had created an audience. I could hear Nico cheering, what made me happy on the inside.

I scored another one. We were winning 4-3. Ace had scored one and Cam the other. Sometimes I couldn't keep the smile from my face but I tried to hide it. I was having a lot of fun. I was glad I asked.

I fell a few times, and I guessed I flashed everyone with my underwear but who cared. It's not like I was naked.

Everyone got tired at some point, so the game ended like that. We won. I wiped my forehead with my hand and let the guys congratulate me.

"Thanks for letting me play." I smiled as I walked away. I approached Nico who didn't care that I was sweaty and engulfed me in a big hug.

"You're amazing."

I blushed as I laughed, averting his gaze when we pulled away. "It was just a friendly game."

"Hey, blondie." Cam ran towards us, a big smile on his face. He was wearing a shirt now, so it was easier to look at his face. "I'm sorry, is she your girlfriend?" He asked Nico.

Nico caught his breath. "Uhm-" he ran a hand through his curls. "No, I guess not."

"Mind if I steal her from you a little bit?" He grinned.

"If she wants to." Nico said, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Do you want a drink? That game left me really thirsty."

Nico grumbled something incomprehensible in French and I nodded. "Okay." I glanced back at Nico as I walked. "I'll see you... later."

Nico smiled tightly, took a sip from his drink, and walked away.

"I've never seen you around." Cam said as we walked towards the table where all the drinks were.

"I... I don't know Martina very well. Riley's my physio, so..."

"Oh, Riley, yeah." I know her. He smiled. "What do you do?"

"I'm a figure skater." I said, studying all the bottles. I wasn't very sure yet if I wanted to drink alcohol today. Just then I remembered how conversations go, so I asked him, too. "And you?"

"Wow. That's cool." He grabbed a bottle of an amber liquid and poured some into a cup. "I work with Martina, I'm an engineer."

"That sounds difficult." I chuckled.

"Not gonna lie, it is." He laughed. "What do you want?"

"Mhm... is there cider?"

He looked around the bottles. "Oh, look." He grabbed a bottle and handed it to me. "Wait, here, let me open it for you." He brought it to his mouth and opened the cap with his teeth.

"Doesn't that hurt?" I asked, scrunching up my nose.

"If you do it right, it doesn't." He grinned. "Cheers."

"Cheers." I brought my bottle forward then took a sip. Maybe more than one, I was really thirsty. "Can you teach me?" I asked.

"To open a bottle?"

"Yes. It's kinda cool." I chuckled.

"Okay." He laughed. "Finish that one and I'll teach you." He removed a lock of hair from my face. "So, how come you play soccer?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I finished my third bottle, still not having learned, I really had to pee, so I went inside to look for a bathroom. I could have just asked, but I didn't find Ace and I couldn't wait. I let Cam sitting near the pool, where we were talking before. I was having fun, I totally misjudged him.

I didn't realize it was that late in the afternoon, but the sun was already beginning to go down.

Some people were swimming and I could totally get inside the pool. It was hot for the end of March. I wished I had brought a bikini.

The inside of the house was cooler. As I was walking, I thought that perhaps, they had a toilet outside of the house. It was smart since that way, you wouldn't wet the house when you got out of the pool. Whatever, I was already here.

I finally found one. It was the next door after the living room. I also took the opportunity to freshen up a little and let my hair down. I knew Nico liked it like that, and even if I still didn't know if I loved him, I liked that he liked me. One last look at myself in the mirror and I walked outside.

The sound of a piano made me stop in my tracks. Someone was definitely playing. I got curious and walked past the kitchen towards the room at the end of the hallway. It was next to the front door and for what I could see from the outside before, it looked like sort of a library.

I hadn't realized until I entered the room that I was drunk. I was a little dizzy but I was feeling good. I felt an unfamiliar warmth surrounding me, but it felt nice.

When I saw the unmistakable dark curls, I smiled. The urge to sit with him and kiss him was big, that was another reason why I knew I was drunk, too. I restrained myself and walked slowly, trying not to make any noises.

I didn't know much but I was certain about one thing. It sounded beautiful. I walked until I faced him. He didn't see me, he had his eyes closed, concentrated in the music. When the song started to fade down, he opened his eyes slowly.

I smiled.

Nico cleared his throat.

"That was-"

"Are you done flirting with that guy?" He asked absentmindedly, closing the fall board on the piano.

I frowned. "I wasn't flirting."

"Well, he definitely was." He scoffed.

"What? No. We were just talking." I shook my head.

"Bien sûr." He mumbled.

He stood up and turned around, about to walk away. "I would appreciate if you didn't tell anyone I played, I didn't ask if I could."

"Hey, hey." I followed him. He didn't listen so I grabbed his arm. "Are you mad?"

"No." He said. "Why would I? We're not dating." He tried to walk away again, but I closed the door. It was heavier than I thought.

"You said it wouldn't change anything." I told him.

"Well, maybe it would. I can't help it, Cara." He raised his hands up to his head and pulled at his curls. "I can't stand watching you with another guy. I- I never had this feeling." He looked at me, frustration all over his eyes. "You don't understand what it's like. I told you how I feel, but what about you, Cara? You said you like me, but how much exactly?" He swallowed hard. "You said you were confused and I cleared my feelings up for you, but what about you?" He repeated. His eyes searched mine for answers. "You like me as a friend? What do you want from me?"

I couldn't put into words what I felt about him so I stood on my tiptoes and grabbed each side of his face, crashing my lips against his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys, just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for always worrying about me. For wishing me the best. It's great to have this family even though we don't know each other. Thank you for making my day with your comments :)

I was supposed to update tomorrow but I couldn't wait to here it is. Hope you liked it.

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to vote and let me know what you think in the comments ✨