Chapter 27: Letter

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The house was quiet. We all went to Ash's new house, to help him with a few things and to say goodbye. I nearly cried.

My family was not used to being apart. We've always been together, except for a few months when Brandon lived with his girlfriend while she was pregnant. When she passed away giving birth to Sandro, he came back home.

Ash was the biggest support for me at home, apart from grandpa. I could always go to him, he didn't mock me or think less of me. He always defended me and he always achieved to bring a smile to my face.

It was just one member of the family, two, if we counted my father, but the house felt empty. He didn't live that far, he didn't want to leave the neighborhood but still, he wouldn't be here everyday.

Justin was staring at me from the tire swing. I was sitting on the porch's steps, fidgeting with my shoe laces. He jumped off and ran towards me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders while I encircled his little waist with one of mine, as he always did. He liked to stand by my side. Enjoying a bit of my protection, but still able to look at the world.

"I'm sad." Justin whispered into my ear.

"Yeah?"

He nodded, sitting down between my legs.

"I'm sad, too." I caressed his hair. "It's okay to be sad. But we can go visit whenever we want. Don't you wanna see your baby nephew?" I asked softly, trying to cheer him up.

He nodded, a small smile curling up the corner of his lips. I kissed the top of his head. "Wanna go to the park?"


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My birthday was just around the corner. That meant, Christmas was coming too. And since I got always so excited about my birthday, I totally forgot I wasn't the main character that day. I needed to buy some presents.

I had already bought a necklace for my mom the weekend of the competition. Nothing too out of this world, but I knew she'd like it.

The kids always wrote a letter to Santa with three presents they wished to get. I always bought one of them, since I made more money, my older brothers the other one and my mom and grandpa the last one. Sandro couldn't write but we bought whatever we thought he might like. Justin liked to circle what he wanted in the toy catalog and then cut his choices and glue them to his letter.

Christmas Eve was on Thursday. My family liked to have a big dinner and then have the leftovers for lunch the next day. I also needed to go grocery shopping with my mom.

I was getting overwhelmed just by thinking about all the things I needed to do in so little time. Tomorrow was Monday and I didn't have any days off until Thursday.

I was a complete disaster. I should've thought his through.

Sometimes I thought these pills I took didn't really work. Weren't they supposed to help me? Why was I always so distracted and forgetful then?

I hated them.


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The faint sound of music came from Brandon's door. He liked country music, just 'cause his girlfriend used to love it. Sandro loved it too, since it was always playing on my brother's phone.

I knocked on his door and waited quietly.

"Come in."

Opening the door slowly, I took a deep breath and walked inside. "Hi."

"Hey." He nodded, not even looking at me from the bed. He was on his phone, Sandro long asleep in his cradle beside the double bed.

"Can I talk to you?"

Brandon lowered his phone, his eyes a little wider. "You're pregnant."

"What?" I coughed as I sat on the bed next to him. "No!" I whisper-shouted so I didn't wake Sandro up.

"You scared me." He put a hand on his chest. "What is it?"

"I... I don't think you treat me the way I deserve to be treated." That's it. I said it.

"Mhm. Okay?" He chuckled, a confused smile on his face.

"I mean it. I love taking care of Sandro but I'm not his babysitter. And especially not your maid. I- I don't like how you sometimes talk to me or how you... you think less of me. I know I'm not the smartest girl in the world, but I'm not dumb."

"You're right."

"I'm not always gonna be here. I know you can't do this alone, I want to help you but you could be nicer about it."

"Cara."

"It's just sometimes you treat me like I'm not important. As if just because I'm following my dream, I'm doing something wrong. There's nothing wrong in what I do. Yeah, I love it and I'm sorry you had to drop out of school to work, but it's not my fault." I pointed at my chest, my eyes becoming watery. "I didn't chose to have an alcoholic father or-"

"Cara, I'm saying you're right." Brandon put a hand on mine, avoiding it from moving.

I frowned, not understanding.

"I'm sorry. I know sometimes I'm... I'm a little harsh on you. It's just... I get so angry, so frustrated, that I take it out on you. Because I know you'll always be there, no matter what. Because you never get angry. I don't know... it's fucked up, I'm fucked up. So, yeah." He scratched the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. I'll try to be a better brother. A better person."

"Are you being serious?" I asked, not very sure.

"I am. I sometimes really regret how I talk to you, but I get so into my head that I find it really difficult to apologize. I want to be a better father, so I have to set a good example."

"Okay..." I nodded quietly. In other situations, I would've given him a hug, but my brothers were not the most affectionate people, so I didn't want to make it awkward. I glanced at Sandro out of the corner of my eye. "Are you guys really moving out?"

"I'm still looking."

"Is it because of me?"

"What?"

"You know. Because I'm not cautious enough." I bit my lips.

Brandon ran a hand along his face as he groaned exasperated. "I'm such an idiot. Look," he lifted up his head. "I don't know if you need to hear this, but I don't trust any one with my child as much as I trust you. I said all those things 'cause I was mad. Mad at myself for not being able to be here." He let out a short breath. "I get scared sometimes. Just thinking that I won't be there for him." He glanced at the cradle. "But I can't be there forever." Brandon then turned his head to look at me. "I'm not moving out because of you. I had to leave eventually. I can't live forever with my mom." He chuckled and I cracked a smile, playing with my fingers on the mattress. "What if I want to bring a girl home?"

I raised my eyebrows. "I didn't know you were-"

"It was just a joke, but... I'm thinking about it. I won't ever forget her but it's just... not that painful anymore, you know? I can see myself with another woman, adding new members to the family." He smirked.

"She would like that." I smiled.

"Yeah, I think so." He pressed his lips together. "Enough of this sappy moment. We're all in a really weird mood today. Now, leave."

I couldn't help it and quickly approached my older brother, kissing his cheek and giving him a smile as he rolled his eyes and threw me a pillow. He missed and it fell to the floor.

"I'm not picking that up." I pointed out before I walked towards the door.

"Cara!" He whisper-shouted from the bed.

I waved with a big grin and closed the door.

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With a little help from Ben, I finally got everything I needed for Christmas. Everything would be placed under the Christmas tree tonight. It was a really poor and sad Christmas tree but nobody had thought about it until Brandon set it up. The kids tried to decorate it as best as they could, but it was still ugly. We ended up laughing about it.

Dinner was fun, we were able to see Ash and his fiancée, and I have to say, it was weird that he was a guest in the house. When they left, they all tried and clean everything up. It really amazed me how much Ben and Brandon were helping, I really hoped this phase they were both having lasted more than a week.

I was incredibly tired by the time I went to my room. The twins were long asleep since they'd been playing and singing nonstop. I remember being a kid and getting tired just because of being excited.

Who am I gonna lie, that still happens.

Changing into my pajamas, I got into the bed and checked on my phone. Just when the time hit midnight, my phone buzzed. I quickly took the call, not even having time to process who it was.

"Joyeux anniversaire, bébé!"

"Nico." I laughed as I got up from the bed, grabbing a hoodie and opening the window to climb to the roof. "You scared me."

"I said happy birthday, by the way." He chuckled. His voice was deep and raspy, as if he had just woken up.

"Thank you." I chuckled, sitting down. It was freezing, I should've thought this through. "Wait a second." I placed the phone on my lap and put on the hoodie. "Much better."

"Where are you?"

"The roof. Everyone's asleep. What time is it there?"

"It's six in the morning. I woke up this early just to wish you a happy birthday." He chuckled.

"Are you serious? Go back to sleep." I told him.

"No fucking way, now that I'm awake you're gonna tell me how was your day." I'm pretty sure he was smiling. "How do you feel old lady?"

"Hey, I'm just twenty-two." I chuckled. "You're the old man. You're almost thirty."

Nico gasped. "That was a low blow. I have three years to enjoy my twenties, you bitch." He laughed.

As I laughed, I wrapped my arm around my legs, that were against my chest. "It's already Christmas there. Do you have Santa there or whatever?"

"We do, we call it père noël." He let out a breath. "Although I don't think I'll be getting anything this year." He chuckled humorlessly.

"Why?" I asked, really surprised.

"My mom has already left for her vacation with her new husband, and my dad's probably been too busy to buy anything." He sighed. "I don't mind though, I've bought something for Luca and Riley, that's what I'm excited for."

"That's... sad. I'm sorry." I said softly. "Where did you spend dinner time last night?"

"With my dad, his insufferable wife and my step siblings, then I went out with a few friends, I couldn't stand being there for long." He chuckled.

"If your mom left, does that mean you're coming back early?"

"Maybe." He popped his lips. "I don't know. Perhaps I'll just come back when the year begins. I'm really looking forward for that New Years party."

I nodded, playing with my socked toes.

"I also bought something for you." He said softly. "Well, more like planned something for you. As a gift."

My breath caught. "Yeah?"

"You're gonna love it."

"What is it?" I asked excitedly, a little smile on my lips.

"I'm not telling you." He scoffed. "It's a surprise."

"I love surprises." I whispered.

"Good." He yawned.

"You're tired." I stated.

"Me? I'm not tired. I was even thinking to go for an early run."

"You can't run." I laughed.

"Oh, bébé. You don't know how much I've improved since I left." He chuckled.

"Oh, yeah?"

"I run marathons now."

I laughed. "Shut up."

There was suddenly the voice of a guy in the background. It sounded sleepy too, but since it was French, I couldn't understand a word he said. Nico said something back, really quietly this time.

My heart started beating fast. Was he with someone? He said he was staying in a hotel.

"Cara." He yawned again. "I'd love to keep talking to you but my eyes are closing." He whispered.

"Yeah, sure." I nodded.

"Talk to you tomorrow?" He asked.

"Hmh." I nodded again, trying to steady my breathing.

"Bye, bébé."

My voice cracked. "Bye."

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Hey guys! One last chapter this week 😬😬 hope I can update soon again.

Hope you guys liked it!

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