Chapter 40: Effect

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I watched pensively from the kitchen how Ace wrapped his arm around Martina's waist, pulling her towards him and giving her a chaste kiss on the lips. She smiled and leaned her head on his chest, wrapping her own arm around his waist, her hand resting on his back. Her engagement ring stood out in her bare hand.

Sometimes I forgot they were getting married. Everything seemed to be going so fast and I felt as if I was stuck. Stuck in love with a girl that I didn't even know if she still felt the same way about me. Stuck in love with the same girl that I was in love with 19 months ago. And I didn't think that could change. At least not anytime soon. If distance and time didn't change that, it wouldn't change now.

The apartment was full of people and she wasn't here. I really thought she was coming, maybe I wasn't that important after all. I glanced at Nico, who was in the terrace staring at the city, a joint in his hand. He liked to isolate himself sometimes, enjoying his own company.

Just the opposite of me. If I stayed any more time alone with my thoughts I was gonna kill myself. I gulped down my drink and approached Josh and Sam who were laughing at something Leo was telling.

"It's not funny." He retorted.

"Dude, we've been telling you for a whole year. She looks just like you."

"What are you laughing at?" I asked Josh, who was shaking his head amusedly.

"An old woman told them that they were too close for being family." Sam chuckled.

They were talking about Leo's girlfriend. Yes, he finally settled down with the girl that looked just like him.

"Dude, she thought she was my sister." Leo raised his eyebrows a little. "Of course she looked at us weird. I was literally grabbing her ass."

I shook my head and chuckled. "How many people have told you already?"

"Man, to be honest, I don't care." He gave as a smirk. "She's worth it."

Josh made a whip sound and we all laughed. I sighed and stared at my drink. Josh also had a girlfriend and I was starting to feel a little lonely. At least when I was in Paris with Nico we were both at the same level. That dude wasn't going to settle down anytime soon.

Someone nudged my arm. "Luca, she's here." I turned to look at Ace, my throat dry as my stomach clenched.

I looked around nervously, searching for her face. I spotted her greeting a group of people, Martina being one of them. They hugged and Riley's serious grey eyes bored into mine. She looked nervous too.

Her hair was long and wavy, just as it was when I first met her. She had a light tan, due to the summer sun. With a light make up on and a baby blue summer dress she looked gorgeous. I had never seen her wearing something so girly and different but she looked confident and happy. She didn't averted her gaze as she did before, she didn't look down or played with the ring in her fingers. She just stared at me and licked her lips before giving me a small smile and approaching my speechless state.

"Hey."

"Hi." I smiled back.

Riley shrugged one shoulder with a tight smile before opening her arms to me. She had an expression I couldn't quite decipher. "Don't I get a hug?" She asked.

"You always get a hug." I opened my arms and let her wrap hers around my waist. I restrained myself for smelling her hair and before I could linger, she pulled back.

"How- how have you been?" There was my girl. That stutter that made me purse my lips so I wouldn't crack a smile.

"It's been good." I nodded slowly, putting the hand that was not occupied by a drink inside my pocket. "What about you?"

"I changed jobs." She blurted out.

"Oh." I raised my eyebrows a little. "What do you do now?"

"I don't work with children anymore. It was too hard for me." She shrugged both shoulders and glanced away, a sad smile on her face. "I'm happy though, I'm working at another clinic. They pay more so that's a plus." She chuckled.

"I'm glad."

"What about you? What are you gonna do?" She asked hesitantly.

Some dude was yelling right beside us, music too loud to have a nice talk with Riley. I wish it was just the two of us, hanging out somewhere or simply have a conversation chilling in my room, like we used to do.

"Do you want to talk somewhere else?" I gestured to my back with my thumb. "We can go to my room."

"I'm-" she glanced back nervously, now really fidgeting with her rings. "I'm actually waiting for my boyfriend."

Boyfriend.

My whole world fell on my shoulders, blood draining from my face.

She had a boyfriend.

Okay. Before you start saying that I am an asshole, yes, I did leave her. Yes, I did want her to be happy and find someone else if she wanted to.

But hell, did it hurt.

I didn't know she had a boyfriend, I mean, she's not very active on social media but she gave no sign of being in a relationship at all. None of my friends did tell me either.

"Oh." I tried to mask my disappointment and raised my eyebrows a little, letting it show in the form of a surprise. "I didn't know you have a boyfriend."

"Yeah, uhm-" she tucked her hair behind her ear, giving me a nervous laugh. "-we've been together for three months now."

I swallowed. "Great!" I smiled. What are you doing, you idiot? "That's- great." I coughed. "I'm gonna- I'm gonna get another drink, do you want anything?"

She shook her head with a little smile.

"Be right back." I smiled tightly and turned around quickly.

I'm an idiot, I'm an asshole. I'm so fucking stupid I can't with myself right now.

Why the hell did I leave her?

Why am I so impulsive?

"Martina!" I yelled when I saw the twenty five year old blonde walking towards the bathroom.

She glanced at me and walked faster.

What the hell.

"Martina!" I actually ran to catch her and grabbed her by her arm.

"Oh, hey, Luca." She greeted averting her gaze nervously. "I didn't see you."

"Riley has a boyfriend?" I asked, whisper shouting as I pulled her to the hallway, where we could talk a little more in private.

"I told you?" She chuckled.

"No, you didn't."

"Mhm, I forgot?"

"Martina!"

"Look," this time, she stared at me seriously and pointed at my chest with her drink. "I think he's the lamest guy on earth. I was hoping they broke up or something, but for some reason they're still together."

"I can't believe you hid that from me." I shook my head.

"He's so boring! You'll see when you meet him."

I clenched my jaw. "I don't want to meet him." I crossed my arms over my chest like a child.

"Well, amigo. He's there." She patted my shoulder and left me there, mouth opened a little.

My eyes were quick to give the guy a good examination. He was tall and muscular. Piercing blue eyes and golden hair.

For the moment it wasn't looking too good for me.

He was wearing a light blue polo shirt and khakis. Were they matching?

I think I'm gonna vomit.

"Luca." Nico said with his French accent as he let his hand on my shoulder. "Tout va bien?"

"English." I muttered absentmindedly as I watched Riley and her boyfriend. She was glancing around, her hand clutched his. She was looking for someone, I was just really wishing it wasn't me.

Her eyes met mine.

Oh, crap.

"You good?" Nico simply asked. "You look pale."

"Can you stay with me for a moment? My ex girlfriend is coming right this way to introduce me to her new boyfriend and I don't think I have the guts to do it alone."

"Oh, merde."

"Yeah, a big, stinky mer-"

"Luca." Riley's voice startled me before I turned around quickly. "I want you to meet my boyfriend."

I knew her, I knew she didn't do it with bad intentions, she just probably wanted us to bond, but girl. Introducing me to your boyfriend when I'm still in love with you? That's a little perverse.

Although to be fair, she didn't know I was still in love with her.

"This is Matt."

"Hey, man. How are you doing?" Matt asked extending his hand for me to shake.

I did it reluctantly, muttering something unintelligible.

We stayed in silent for a moment. Riley watching Nico with curiosity. "Uhm- this is Nico."

Nico took a step forward a grabbed Riley by her shoulders, giving her two kisses on each cheek, leaving her a little stunned.

The funny thing was, he did the same thing to Matt.

Okay, he's high.

I covered my mouth with my fist, feigning a little cough just so I wouldn't laugh.

Matt and Nico stared at each other for a moment, a blush in Matt's face creeping up his neck.

"Luca." Riley interrupted the staring contest. "Can we talk for a second?"

"Yeah." I nodded. I rested a hand on Nico's shoulder and nodded to Matt. "Why don't you show him around?"

When we were a little further from the guys, Riley sighed and lowered her shoulders. "Luca, I'm sorry. I don't want it to be awkward, I just-"

"It's okay, Riri." The nickname escaping my mouth before I could even notice. "It's not awkward, don't worry." I smiled tightly.

"Are you sure? I can tell him to leave-"

That would be great, merci.

"No, no. It's fine. You guys can stay." I nodded. "Have fun."

I couldn't fake it anymore. On my way to my bedroom, I walked fast. Not glancing around. I felt a knot in the back of my throat and it was better if I didn't see anybody now.

It hurt.

She was so happy, so carefree, so confident. And I loved seeing her that way. I loved how she wasn't afraid to show how her amazing body looked, I loved how she wasn't afraid or embarrassed just by the fact of being in a party. I loved how she smiled wide, reaching her eyes.

I loved her, I simply loved her.

I just hated that I wasn't the person who she was in love with.

I pulled at my now longer hair and walked fast. When I arrived to my bedroom, opening my door abruptly, I paced around nervously, not even noticing the curly haired guy sitting on my bed.

"He's gay."

I jumped in place as I put a hand on my chest, my heart beating fast.

"Dude! What the hell! What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting for you." Nico stated with a shrug.

"Who- who's gay?" I frowned. "What are you even talking about?"

"Matt. Your substitute." He mocked me. "He's gay."

"My substi-" I muttered under my breath before I frowned deeper and stared at Nico with an uncertain look. "How do you know that? He's not gay, he's with Riley."

Nico scoffed. "Look, he's gay. Trust me. I have a sense for those things." He got up slowly and stopped just when he was going to pass me by. "Oh, and maybe I just gave him a boner."

"You what?" I opened my eyes wide and turned to stared at him, jaw hanging.

"My little ass kind of have that effect in guys." He patted my shoulder and nodded. "Up to you, bye."

A little in shock, I walked towards my bed slowly, almost dragging my feet. I ran a hand along my hair and then stared at my hands o my thighs.

"What the fuck?"

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The picture in this chapter is so Riley and Luca.

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I'm sorry for the delay, I'm super busy. Due to the corona virus situation in Spain, I might have to stay at home a lot so I'll be able to write more. I hope.

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