"I don't know. I liked that teacher. It's just those outfits she would always wear." Luca chuckled. "They were so distracting. Like, she would wear-"

I stifled a yawn, thinking he wouldn't notice but he did.

"Am I boring you?" He asked raising an eyebrow amusedly as he took his eyes off the road.

"No, no." I said quickly shaking my head. "I'm just tired. I had a nightmare last night."

"Do you want to tell me about it, or you prefer to sleep?"

I blinked several times and sat up straight. "No, no." I repeated. "I'm not sleeping and I don't want to remember the nightmare, so please keep telling me about that teacher."

"Okay." He laughed. "As I was saying she would wear stripes with..."

Five minutes later, I was fast asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We arrived at my sister's house that thursday at five pm.

Just a glance at the house and all of my doubts about leaving the place came again to rest on my shoulders. I didn't realize I was staring out the window, biting my lips, until Luca cleared his throat.

"Are we going out or...?"

I nodded quickly and stepped out of the car. While Luca took out our ruffle bags out of the trunk, I kept on watching my old house. The lights in the living room and bathroom upstairs were on. It wasn't a really big house, but it had a big piece of land in the backyard open to the woods to play. We even had a tree house that, I admit it, seemed a little scary to me when I was a little girl. Trees were too leafy and dark around it.

"It's not much..." I muttered taking my bag from Luca's hand, who shook his head and nodded for me to walk without having to grab it.

"I love it." He smiled. "The landscape is incredible. Are there bears?" He asked, suddenly all too excited.

I shrugged. "Maybe. If you go deep into the woods."

"Can we go explore?" His eyes opening a little wider.

I chuckled. "Tomorrow. I'm not getting in there without my friend the sun lighting us up with his presence." I moved my fingers magically.

"You're so poetic." He laughed.

Before I could ring the bell, my sister had already opened the door.

"Oops. I'm sorry. I wasn't planning on opening it until you knocked." She chuckled. "I heard your car coming and I got too excited."

Camille ignored me completely and took a step forward, giving Luca a quick and awkward hug, since he still had our bags hanging on his shoulders.

"Hi, I'm Camille."

"Luca." He smiled. "I'm sorry I can't reciprocate, my arms are a little busy."

"Give them to me." My brother in law, Jeremy, appeared behind my sister.

He took one of the bags from Luca and they shook hands, Jeremy with that superior look I knew all too well.

"I'm Jeremy."

"Nice to meet you." Luca said all politely.

My brother in law let the bags near the staircase.

I rolled my eyes at him and my sister. "Are you guys ignoring me or something?"

"Of course not!" My sister exclaimed. Jeremy laughed as they both squeezed me into a sandwich.

"Okay, okay! I get it." I laughed pushing them away. "Where are-?"

"Lauren is watching a movie in the living room and Keith is in the backyard."

"This late? It's already dark." I pointed out staring out the window.

"He's an explorer." She said giving me a little smile.

"I like him already." Muttered Luca glancing at me with a smirk.

"Luca, I asked my sister and she said you guys wouldn't mind sharing a room, there's a double bed. It's completely new." She added with a smile.

"Oh no, we like sleeping together." He said.

I almost face palmed myself.

He realized what he said a few seconds after he saw Jeremy's expression and cleared his throat. "I mean, just sleep. Like closing our eyes and dreaming and stuff-"

"It's okay, Luca." I chuckled. "We get it."

My brother in law raised an eyebrow and put a hand on Luca's shoulder, trying to no avail to intimidate him. "I'll be watching you guys. No weird stuff under my roof."

"Technically," I pointed out, "it's my sister's roof but whatever..." I gazed away pursing my lips.

"You little demon." He chuckled. "Go upstairs before I catch you."

Luca let out a breath when we arrived to the room. It was simply decorated, all in dark wood and cream colors. Very cozy.

"You look nothing alike!" He exclaimed surprised.

He was right. My sister had blonde straight hair and was a little chubby. The only things we had in common were our grey eyes that we took from my dad, and our big breasts, that we took from my aunt Thea.

Quite the genes she got there.

"I know." I laughed. "She's quite extrovert too, right the opposite of me."

I let him thinking for a moment, since he seemed deep in thought sitting down on the bed, and I started getting some clothes out of my bag.

"You can hang some clothes in here-"

"How old was your sister when your parents had the accident?"

Luca was like that. He didn't have a filter.

"She was 19."

He nodded. "And how old are her kids?"

"Five and two." I explained. "She was twenty when she had Keith. She had already been with Jeremy for about three years. He's older, he's like thirty two or so."

"She's so young." He pressed his lips. "She is just a year older than me and has two kids, lives in a house with her husband... and look at me." He chuckled.

"She was forced to grow up." I muttered. "And why do you say that? You have an indefinite contract with one of the most successful soccer teams in our country, and you're only twenty four. She hasn't had the opportunity to grow up professionally. She works at a baby store. And don't get me wrong, she loves it. But it's not what she wanted." I paused and looked at him. "You'll form a family one day, just be patient."

I thought about what Martina told me about his only relationship, how he was so eager to love and be loved that he was fast to get into that relationship with that- I don't even have a name for her.

How he's now waiting for the perfect person to arrive.

Luca smiled at me but said nothing. And that was weird of him. What was he thinking now?

"We normally have dinner at seven thirty, maybe eight. Depends on the turkey. Jeremy's cooking but he might need some help, so I'll take a shower and go downstairs to the kitchen. Mhm, what do you wanna do, do you wanna take a shower too or...? You can go explore." I chuckled.

"Yeah, I think I'll do that. I took a shower just before coming." He added.

I smiled at him and took some clothes with me to the bathroom. Just a big one for the whole house.

I forgot to mention him that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I went downstairs, drying my wet hair with a towel, I heard laughing from the living room. I think it was time to say hello to my nephew and niece.

Just when I stepped into the living room, my hips were being hugged, my nephew's mop of brown hair the only thing I could see from up there.

"Auntie!"

"Hey, you!" I exclaimed squatting down to pick him up. We melted into a hug and I laughed at how hard he was holding me.

My niece ignored me completely, she was too busy drooling over Luca. He had her on his lap, bouncing his legs a bit as they pressed their palms together, her curly blonde hair longer than what I remembered.

"Why is she looking at you like that?" I smiled as I went to sit down beside them on the couch, my nephew still glued at me like a koala.

God, was he heavy.

"I don't know. She's so cute." Luca cooed at her and she laughed, tapping her hands against his animatedly.

"Look who's here!" I whisper shouted at her in what I tried to be a high-pitched voice, brushing my nose against her cheek.

Lauren glanced at me with a frown, almost as if I was annoying her. She then turned her head towards Luca again and her expression transformed. She was absolutely fascinated.

Wasn't she clever.

"I'm sorry, Riri. I think I accidentally bought her soul." Luca laughed.

I scoffed and returned my attention to Keith. "What's up, buddy?"

"I'm five now." He explained showing me his fingers as if I was gone for a whole year.

"I know, Keith. You were already five before I left."

He ignored my remark and bounced on my legs. "Your boyfriend said we can go exploring tomorrow."

My face turned red faster than a lightning. "He's- he's not my boyfriend, Keith."

"Is Max your boyfriend?" He cocked his head as if he didn't understand. I guessed he always knew me being in a relationship, it was weird for him to accept that I could be single.

"No."

"Good." He smiled.

Luca intervened, my niece now standing up on his lap, her tiny arms squeezing his head against her cheek. He looked like a fish and somehow he managed to look adorable. "I told him he could show me around. He said he liked the woods but his mom didn't want him to go on his own, right?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "And I want to find a treasure but mom doesn't let me. I think she doesn't like money."

I laughed. "Why do you say that?"

"She's always talking with dad about money and she doesn't seem happy." He said with a shrug, pursing his lips.

That statement made me sad. I had just gave her back a third of the money she lent me, and I needed to give back the rest. I felt so selfish. She was suffering, trying to carry out a house and two kids, and there I was. Trying to pursue my dreams, living on my own, going to parties.

"Do you like to draw, Keith?" Luca asked all of a sudden.

He nodded with a smile, Lauren clapped her hands. She liked it too.

"Let's make a drawing for mom and dad, okay? Let's make them happy." He smiled and got up, Keith following suit.

Before getting out of the living room to go looking for the crayons, Luca glanced at me and winked, a smirk crossing his lips.

"Don't be jealous, I'll make a drawing for you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The table was set, we were all sitting down waiting for Jeremy to bring the dinner. I was examining Luca's work.

"And that's supposed to be me." I stated staring at the stick figure with short dark hair.

"Uh-huh." He pointed to the one next to it. "And that's me. Oh, and that's our dog."

Oh my god, that was a dog. I snorted.

"We have a dog now?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. We'll eventually get one."

"And who's gonna take care of it?"

"Both of us. We'll be like divorced parents. One week with you, the next one with me. But in a different way you know, we can go out all together and stuff, since we don't hate each other."

It was really hard for me not to laugh. The funniest thing was that he was being serious.

"I told you I prefer cats."

"But I told you I hate them."

I glanced at Luca as I licked my lips, trying hard to fight a smile. He had a frown on his face staring at the drawing before he glanced up at me. He gave me a little smile, seeing my amused expression. "We'll make it a plan one day, you'll see."

Jeremy arrived with the food. My sister too proud of her children at the moment to even notice it. They both gave her their drawings and showered her with hugs and kisses.

We ate, we talked and we laughed and I couldn't remember when was the last time I felt so happy. I glanced at Luca who was laughing at something my sister said when I saw him lowering his gaze to his plate, his smile fading a bit as he played with his food.

This question would always wander my mind. What was he thinking about? What thought stole the smile on his face?

When we finished having dinner, my sister put her kids to sleep and we all got out to the covered little porch to have some drinks.

I took out my pack of cigarettes with me and Luca noticed it. "You're smoking again?"

"Yeah." I answered, trying to avoid his gaze as I lit up one.

And that was my last word with Luca for the rest of the night. He kind of ignored me, talking to both my sister and Jeremy but not really directing his words towards me.

I seriously couldn't understand it. It was my life, I decided how to live it. I got why he didn't like tobacco, I thought it was disgusting too. But lots of others things in life were too, and I didn't stop talking to people just because they did things I didn't like.

I was following him upstairs, our silence shouting inside my head. Why is he being so childish?

When I closed the door after me, I couldn't hold it anymore. "Why are you ignoring me?"

"Because you're smoking again."

Good. He didn't like to lie. The argument will be quicker then.

"Excuse me, but I think that's not your problem."

"I thought you quit it." He put his head out of the window, resting his hands on the rim of it as he let the cool night air brush his face.

"I did, but it's not that easy. I had lots of things in my mind lately-"

"That's not an excuse."

"It's not, I know, but-"

"Then quit it again."

"I told you, it's not that easy! God, Luca! It's none of your business what I do and what I don't do, okay?" I whisper shouted, not to wake up any of my family members.

This argument was really taking me back to the ones I had with my ex. Always controlling me, always telling me what to do. It was suffocating and I was feeling all those same sensations again. My breathing was heavy, my heart beating fast.

"It is, Riley, it is! Because I care about you, okay?" He turned around and stared at me, his eyes watery. "I don't want you to go through all of what my mom went through." He lowly said. "I miss her. I missed her tonight so much, it aches." He pointed to his heart. "And I don't wanna be missing you one day." He swallowed and licked his lips, the frown in his face giving him a fierce and determined look.

Luca's breathing was even heavier than mine, his chest quickly moving up and down.

"I'm sorry, Luca. I'm really sorry."

He shook his head and turned around quickly, staring again out the window. I walked towards him slowly and wrapped my arms around his body, letting my head rest against his back.

Just then, I noticed it. The subtle movement of his back and stomach, the shaking of his shoulders.

He was crying.

"It's okay, Luca. I'll stop. I promise." I whispered, squeezing him tight.

He grabbed both my arms and pulled them away of his stomach, turning around slowly. I thought he was angry, I thought he didn't want me to touch him, to comfort him.

But I was wrong. Not letting me a second to see his face full of tears, he buried his face in my neck, putting both my arms around his neck, his wrapping around my smaller figure.

We move it from the window to the bed. I held him for minutes. Maybe hours. I let him cry. Who knows how much time had passed since he had done it?

Luca needed his mom, and I was unfortunate to say, I was the person who could understand his pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys! I'm in Morocco right now 😊

Somehow I managed to write another chapter, so here it is!

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Thanks so much for reading! Hope I can update soon❤️