8. Bitter-Sweet Realisations

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"Who's Hadrianus?"

Voldemort stared, mouth open and gaping, unable to believe what he was seeing. His brain stopped working. Is it...? Is he dreaming? 

And the eyes... Oh, Merlin those eyes...

It can't be...

Technically, Voldemort knows the boy is still Harry. The boy just talked like Harry. He smells like Harry. His Magic feels like Harry. He probably changed his features to copy him, using his Metamorphmagus ability.

Was this some kind of cruel joke?

But Harry can not know about him! Nobody knows... Nobody! Except...

Voldemort glanced at Nagini, his rage rising, building up like a thunderstorm. Nagini is the only one who knew about him. He watched, his carefully constructed calm covering the furious cyclone of rage as Nagini slithered around Hadri - Harry and towards him with a smug smile and impish glee.

" :Nagini!: " Voldemort snarled, eyes flashing crimson, trembling with rage, " :You foolish, wicked woman! You dare make a fake? Is this some kind of absurd joke of yours?: "

" :I am foolish and wicked? :" Nagini snapped, " :Are you blind, or just stupid? Stop being in denial and just look and feel his magic, and remember how  his  Magic felt like then  compare  between the two of them.: "

Voldemort swallowed, his calm visage has been shattered; blood pressure steadily climbing. He is unable to even raise his eyes to meet the boy. The boy looked exactly how he remembered him. How he would have looked like when he was a kid. Merlin.. he can't. He just... can't.

He was only a hallucination. Right? He had to be a hallucination. He couldn't be real! He just couldn't... He had searched the whole World for...

" :I don't care.: " Voldemort spat out, snarling, " :Do not cross your line Nagini, or I shall kill you both for such mindless daring.: "

" :Shut your trap, Tom.: " Nagini said with a deep tired sigh that spoke decades of being the reasonable one between the two, " :You have searched for you-know-what in the whole World. You traveled to the whole World. And now he's standing in front of you, and you're denying him?: "

" :Mum...: " Harry murmured, tears welled up in his eyes. " :It's okay. Father doesn't like it. I will just change back.: "

":No don't you dare,: " Nagini snapped, glaring at her son; but stopped when Harry flinched under her glare. Nagini sighed, speaking softly, " :Your father is just stupid, my little hatchling, don't mind him. Now you run along and call for Bailey; ask her to bring your dinner.: "

" :Yes mum.: " Harry turned, and snatched his glasses from Barty, then darted off. The fighting couple didn't notice him as Harry, instead of going to the Manor, ran towards the forest.

Suddenly something clicked in Voldemort's mind. "Bailey...dinner..." Voldemort whispered as a memory flashed in front of his eyes.

" ...Bailey was supposed to bring me dinner... "

Voldemort's heart almost stopped when everything snapped back into their places, and he finally made all the connections. What did Nagini just say? ".. feel his Magic and remember how his Magic felt like and compare between the two of them .."

Voldemort blinked, now fully understanding what his Magic, his heart has been whispering at him. It has been him all along, is it not? He did notice all their similarities. The way they both talk; their happy, chirpy nature; their determination and dedication; their kindness and weakness for House Elves; both of their tendencies to call the Wizards 'Wiggle'. And especially their Magic. The way both their Magic calls to him, their immense innate power that bore a strong resemblance to Voldemort's own magical signature - as though within both of them were a part of The Dark Lord himself. Or maybe because of the Horcrux.

And not to forget that familiar Green Mamba, which that cheeky little bugger didn't correct him when he assumed it was his Animagus form! Harry hasn't taken full Naga form for once, not even Voldemort told him to try shifting into his full creature form after learning exactly which creature he was. But Voldemort knows it was because he was in denial and didn't want to look into that familiar slender form that brought up too many memories he wanted to ignore, dismissing them as nothing but fragments of his childhood imagination.

This is why Harry felt so familiar to him; that is why his Magic has been claiming the boy. It is one of the reasons he just accepted the imp's presence in his life instead of fighting against it, given he is in his homunculus form.

He had all the clues...how come he not made the final deduction?

He had been living with Hadrianus for a whole month! He finally found the boy! The boy he had been searching for...

And then he pushed him away.

" :Tom? Do you still believe the exact shade of Killing Curse eyes is possible without Magical aid? :" Nagini asked quietly.

Voldemort hated being proved wrong, but after searching the whole World, even he had to admit Nagini might be right. No eyes can be the exact shade of  Avada Kedavra unless he is continuously using Magic to shape them. Or a metamorphmagus.

"Where's he?" Voldemort asked, looking around for the child. If he remembered correctly, Nagini asked him to ask Bailey for dinner, right?

" :Left crying. :" Nagini simply informed him, frowning as she tasted the air, " :But I do not smell his presence in the Manor. Where did he go?: "

He cursed aloud. "Barty?"

"My Lord!" Barty was looking at him alert and concerned, waiting for being acknowledged, "Are you alright?"

"Yes I am fine," Voldemort glowered, impatient, he needed to see the child. "Where's the child?"

"I - " Barty looked sheepish, scratching the back of his head, "He kinda... ran outside when your Magic was thrashing around, raging."

Nagini whipped her head around to look at Barty at the exclamation, shocked. Voldemort too jerked up and pinned Barty with a venomous glare. What? Did he run away? How he can leave him after he finally had him? "Where?"

"Er, I didn't notice... I was worried for you.."

"You didn't notice!" Voldemort's voice rose few octaves, furious, "And here I thought you swore to look after him!"

"But... The Goblin said he actually is not your son... So I thought..."

HOW DARE HE!

"HE IS MINE!" Voldemort roared, "HE IS MY SON! HOW DARE YOU SAY OTHERWISE!  CRUCIO! "

Barty let out an agonized scream which filled and echoed through the garden. But only for few seconds, before Voldemort staggered, feeling the exhaustion of his unstable core, draining. "Bailey?" He gasped, lifting the curse, "My potions."

"Right away, Master Dark Lord sir."

Bailey popped in with his potions and bowl of soup. Voldemort swallowed the potions but pushed the soup bowl away. He won't rest a second until he has his son in front of his eyes again. His red eyes manic, gripping on his Wand tightly, "My son, my Hadrianus... I had him." Voldemort seethed, his tone murderous, "And then he left. And you let him."

"I apologize, My Lord." Barty gasped, having managed to stand up, albeit shakily, and looked guilty. As he should be, "I will go find your son."

":No you won't!: " Nagini snapped at him irritably, " :You foolish, stupid overgrown jealous and biased Wiggle. I will find my hatchling on my own.: "

"Er.." Barty looked lost at the hissing noises, though he had a feeling he just had an earful from the snake.

"Take me and follow after her." Voldemort snapped, his own voice filled with frustration and anger. But who he is actually frustrated at?

"Take you, My Lord?"

"DID I FUCKING STUTTER??"

   

       

    

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Tears welled up in his big doe eyes, but Harry didn't even notice them as he kept running and running, not actually minding where he was going and how fast he was going. He just gave in to his instincts and followed where his legs were taking him. The experience of roaming in the forest with mum came handy now, as he dodged the low branches, jumped across the stones and dead logs, and avoided all the quicksand that mum taught him how to recognize through smell - without actually thinking; while running really fast.

'You dare make a fake? Is this some kind of absurd joke of yours?'

He ran even faster if that was possible as his father's words kept ringing in his mind. His father hated him. Hated his new looks so bad that he wanted to kill him. And threatened to kill his mum.

But soon, his still compromised health and exhaustion caught up with him, overriding his instincts and overwhelming him. Harry collapsed on the ground, hyperventilating and his heart beating so fast that Harry feels like it will stop anytime. Harry swallowed dry, closing his eyes and just resting. Breathing. The way-wire emotions and adrenaline had started to wear off. The late evening in the dark deep forest was awakened and alive. Harry knows he is not safe here, he must keep going. But at the moment, he was just.. exhausted. Too tired to even cry anymore. He felt numb. His legs are cramping. And he is starving. And cold.

For God knows how much time later, his heart started to slow, breathing started to even. The cramps of his legs started to reside. Slowly, Harry stood, adjusting his glasses then looked around. He can smell a water source nearby, and from the sound, it feels like a river. Feeling thirsty, Harry headed that way in the dark. Thanks to his heightened senses and better night vision, he can see and smell just fine, unlike when he was a human. The Moon shone brighter at the clear space around the small river that is flowing rather peacefully.

As soon as he reached the river, he drank deeply quenching his thirst and his hunger subsided largely with the stomach full of water. For now. He glanced down at his feet which are bleeding and dirty, full of mud, still cramping but not too much. Harry shrugged and went to wash his feet.

Harry sat beside the river and started to wash his feet. While doing so, he caught his own reflection on the surface of the small river. He stared at his own reflection. His face has not changed, only sharpened a few features. The only big change was his eyes. He rather liked his new look.

But his father had gotten angry when he turned up looking like this.

For a big part of him wanted to change back, not wishing to look like what made his father - no, he didn't want to be his father - what made  The Dark Lord sad and angry. Angry enough that he wanted to kill him. But he also didn't want to go back looking like how he did, knowing he looked like his birth father. Why would he? Neither his birth father wanted him.

No, he will be his own person. He will think of something and change. But how did he want to look like?

Harry frowned, looking at the river while thinking how he should look like. He wished he knew how his mum looked like. But he can't know anymore. And he hasn't seen many people in his life. Maybe he will roam around some people tomorrow, watch how they look like and then decide based on what he liked? Maybe he will head towards the Muggle world where he can - all his thinking came to a halt when a smell caught his nose. Smell of... Harry sniffed the air and widened his eyes. There's fish in the river.

He's never had fish before.

Harry's mouth started to water smelling the fresh scent of fish. Maybe he can try some new food then? Only if he could catch it. But he doesn't know about swimming. His mum still hasn't taught him how to swim. But he won't have her anymore now, will he? 

He felt a pang in his chest thinking about that. He wanted to give up, curl into a circle and cry his heart out again. But he was hungrier. Maybe he will cry when he has a full stomach and is settled. After having almost two months of regular meals, he has quite the appetite now. Harry peered from where he was standing. It's probably not even deep enough to drown a fully grown man.

But Harry is not a fully grown man.

Something flashed in his mind. What did his mum say? Snakes are natural swimmers, aren't they? His mum is never wrong.

Maybe he just needs to get over his fear and try it?

He took his robes off, shivering slightly in the cold, and put his glasses on the ground on a big stone and rubbed his sweaty hands around it; so he can easily find them through his smell. Green sparkle shimmered and Harry shifted to his full serpentine green mamba form. In half serpentine form, he may use the robes, but in his full serpentine form, no human cloths can help him.

He hesitated. ' Ah well, whatever! ' Harry shrugged mentally, deciding to just go with it.

He took a deep breath and slithered towards the river. When the cold water hit his thin body, Harry shivered, half of his mind wishing to retract and stop. But the other half prompted him to not chicken away and proceed. After all, the cold season is coming, sooner or later it will be colder than now.

So Harry advanced. Involuntarily moving his body in lateral, wave-like movements, more or less appearing to shape his slender body in an S pattern. These undulations have started from his head and continue down their body. This is the same type of body movement he used when moving on very smooth surfaces of the Manor. After trying for some more time, when he is sure that he now has a good grip on how to swim, he started to look for fish and dives in.

He finds out the smells are a bit duller in water than in the air. But he discovered that when he covered his eyes with his brille, he can see underwater just fine. So he took a deep breath and dove underwater, waiting behind a big stone, inside the underwater grasses. His green scales being are camouflage in the Moonlight.

Harry didn't have to wait too long. Soon enough, a big brown trout fish appeared in front of him. Harry used all his training to lunge and caught it. He held it for a moment and pour his venom into it. The fish jerked, making him let go as it tried to shuffle away from him, disoriented. Harry sedately following behind, tongue flickering out. His venom is rather fast-acting on it as the fish become stiff and probably paralyzed. When it stopped twitching, Harry caught it with his mouth, and swam away, bringing it back to the banks.

Harry, with the paralyzed fish hanging from his mouth, perched himself behind a big stone and decided to swallow it the way he has seen his mum doing many times. The stone providing much-needed protection from the cold breeze. Harry put the fish on the ground and looked at it, trying to see how to eat it without being injured by the fin. Beginning by the mouth is a better way. So Harry began to swallow it, slowly, making sure he wouldn't have to regurgitate it later.

After swallowing the whole fish, he felt quite full; his belly bulged out. He began to slither slowly, looking for the stone where he remembers leaving his robe and glasses. Tongues flickering repeatedly, he soon discovered why he can't find them.

He is on the other side of the river.

Harry let out a small snake sigh. He is too full now and feeling quite lethargic. Besides, he is now safer in snake form rather than in human form at the moment, though the robes could have provided him much appreciated extra warmth. Deciding to return for the robes and glasses tomorrow, he started to taste the air, wishing to find some warm place to rest the night. Not too far away, there is an old tree with multiple holes standing, looking to be quite warm. But Harry knows he shouldn't climb the tree with a full stomach, it may disturb his digestion - mum had mentioned it once. So he looked around more.

There's another dead log a few meters away.

Tasting the air making sure there is no other snakes or other predators nearby, Harry slowly slithered towards it. He examined it and found there is a little warm-looking gap in the dead log, and it was filled with dead insect wings and small furs.

Maybe it's some other snake's home?

But he can't move anymore to find another place. So he looked around more to make sure the snake is not nearby. As he looked around, a little buzzing caught his attention. He scented the air, eyes minutely widening when he smelled something familiar. It's the grasshoppers, again!

Harry groaned when something inside him wished to strike out and catch them too. But he is too full now. He can't eat anymore. Besides, insects are smelly and gross. Ignoring them, he slithered inside the gap, tightly coiling up around himself while silently wishing with all his heart that no one, absolutely no one can come inside the gap while he's sleeping and digesting his food.

As he curled up, the whole day flashed in front of his eyes.

He actually thought he finally had a family. A loving mum who will take care of him. A life-hardened father who would teach him about Magic and life. But obviously, he doesn't deserve that. He is a freak. Dudley did say freaks don't deserve anything. And didn't Barty say Metamorphmagus is a rare ability even among Wiggles? In fact, there is no other Metamorphmagus in Britain at the moment.

He truly is a freak, isn't he?

Harry mentally vowed at that moment he will never tell anyone else that he is a Metamorphmagus, neither he will use this in front of anyone who doesn't already know. He can't change what has already happened, at least he can stop it from repeating in the future.

Maybe, just maybe he can stay in his snake form and eat fish, frogs, and other little prey from the forest; and make a hut when the Sun rises? Will Bailey help him with Magic if he asked her nicely? But he had looked after himself since he can remember, even took care of the whole Dursley family; except for the last two months. Harry is sure he can do it again. It's not a big deal, right?

Harry prayed one last time for his safety, then fell asleep.


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