Chapter 53. Longing

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"Sir, the peanuts have been showing signs of teething. They have begun chewing on their rattle toys more frequently these days. The younger brother even stole his older brother's toy to chew on it. But the latter is indeed an older brother, he did not make a fuss or cry at all." A maid cheerfully recounted the happenings of the day.

"They also adore Pudding very much, the troublemaker went out of the room for a second and both of them started crying. They only stopped when the butler forcefully brought him back." Another maid also added.

Zane only nodded at the information the maids were relaying as he ate his dinner.

Normally, it was rude of the two maids to keep on speaking while the master of the house was having his dinner. As professionals, naturally the both of them knew this, but Zane's mother had insisted that each time Zane returned home from work he was to be kept up to date on his two sons' daily shenanigans.

And as Zane had restarted going to the office since a month ago, the only free time he had after work was during his dinner.

The hour at which he came back home each day couldn't be said to be a late one, on the contrary he was on the dot each day at a usual ending hour, perhaps even earlier than normal at times. But still when he came back home, the time was limited for others to see him and talk to him.

As for why this was... everyone from the mansion knew fully well.

Since the doctors had deemed the mistress's situation irrecuperable, the master had renovated her bedroom and turned it into a fully equipped hospital room and moved Aria home. So most of his time home was spent accompanying her in the bedroom.

Although to the outside world it may have seemed that Zane had given up on trying to cure Aria, and only wished for her final days to be spent in her own home comfortably, this assumption couldn't be farther from the truth.

Aria's medical records were still passed around everywhere Zane's assistants could send them to, he was even more fervently than in the beginning in his actions in his attempt to wake her up. It was only because Zane was aware that his mother couldn't keep on handling the firm alone that he had taken Aria home. He also hoped that being in her own home with her loved ones aided in jolting her awake.

Listening to one or two more happenings of the day, Zane swiftly finished his dinner and went up the stairs to have a bath and change his clothes. Then no sooner had he finished, he immediately walked to Aria's room and as quietly as possible entered.

The fair lady appeared as frail as she had been the day she had given birth, but considering that more than four months had passed since that time, in actual fact she looked very well taken care of. Surrounding her bed, the multitude of machines made the room appeared akin to a hospital ward rather than the cozy bedroom Aria previously occupied. But unfortunately the machines were what kept her alive and so it was impossible for them to be removed.

With gentle movements Zane removed her blanket and started the routine of the day. With the advice of the two professional caretakers, who were in fact the persons that took care of Aria when Zane was at work, he gently massaged her muscles to keep her body as fit as it could be considering the circumstances.

From the tip of her fingertips to the sole of her feet, every part was skillfully massaged, he had done it over a hundred times already so it was to be expected.

An hour later with the massage and other miscellaneous duties finished, he softly placed the blanket back and tucked the small hands inside the covering, before slowly kissing the cheek of the petite woman.

With all the time that had passed, one might think that Zane's feelings and distress were slowly cooling down, that he was accepting the situation and adapting to it. At least that is how his face appeared to be, the somber face and cold like personality from before he had fallen in love with Aria had returned intact, perhaps he had become even colder than he was in the past.

But the truth was just the opposite, inside his heart he felt like he was dying a little bit more each day.

The revenge against the Langdons' hadn't alleviated the least bit of the pent up emotions that stormed inside his heart.

Even though that family was ruined beyond repair at the hands of his mother, a fact he had checked with certainty, because he was aware that it made no difference to Aria's state, it did not make him the least bit happy. The saying revenge is sweet did not apply to him in the slightest.

The resounding repetitive bipping of the heart rate machine, although it was the one indication that Aria was still with him, it still stabbed Zane's core, so before glancing for one or two more times towards Aria, he turned around and headed to the one thing inside the room that proved that Aria was in fact home... a piano.

When Aria was in a coma the last time, the doctors had the nurses around the clock to play music and entertain the twins, to make their growth as natural as it could be considering the unnatural circumstances of the comatose mother.

As such, although the doctors hadn't recommended for Zane to do the same for Aria now, he felt that it would help in some way. It was still better than doing nothing, plus Aria loved the piano and he had felt it was too lonely if she was deprived of it for so many days already. So when the room was prepared for Aria's return, he had also ordered for the piano to be moved as well.

Bach's Air melody resounded slowly in the room, like a melancholic lullaby for the sleeping beauty. Although it was quite a sad piece, Zane couldn't find it in himself to play something more lively.

For this reason he had also never played La Campanella, even though it was one of the pieces Aria loved dearly and always requested of him to perform.

His patience in pressing the claps if compared to the longing inside his heart was as different as night and day. He did not show the slightest impatience in playing the song, he did not try to speed it up the least bit, even though the agitation inside his heart was inch by inch reaching a new level.

He played one song, then one more, then again one more... until he could no longer suppress his frustration.

The fierce sound that resound when his angered palms ruthlessly hit the claps could have made the heaviest sleeper wake up, but it still had no effect on Aria, she hadn't flinched at all even though the echo travelled throughout the mansion.

"Should we check on the master?" The butler urgently asked Victoria, who was trying to appease the twins. The both of them were currently pitiful crying, frightened by the loud sound.

"No. Leave him be." She sighed and picked up one boy, while a maid had taken over the other boy."

"But..." The butler knew the master would never harm Aria, he hadn't once shouted at her in his agitation to wake her up. But he also knew that a person who kept most of his feelings inside his heart, and did not verbalize and let out his pain, could become that much more unstable when he finally did express it.

"He needs to accept the situation, and he can only do that on his own. Anyway, he would never try to jolt her or forcefully brisk her to attempt to wake her up. So leave him alone."

Aria had been in a coma for more than four months, currently no doctor gave her the slightest chance of recuperating, far from it actually. They had estimated that she would have no chance to reach the next year alive.

She had already lived more than the doctors had expected her to, today was already the last day of the year. Most likely only because she was so well taken care of, this was the reason that caused her body to outlive by one month the doctors' prediction.

Victoria knew that despite being fully aware of all of these facts, Zane was still trying to find more doctors, and had even begun seeking alternative medicinal practices to try, such as acupuncture. But he needed to face reality once and for all... and he needed to do so on his own. Sadly the countdown for Aria's ending was swiftly approaching...

Inside the room, Zane was far from accepting reality as Victoria hoped. He heavily took deep breaths to regain his calm self as he pressed his palms on his face trying to regain his composure, then flopped on the adjacent bed he had placed near Aria's.

A single tear fell from the still expressionless man as he looked in Aria's direction.

With the beds quite close together, he reached out and placed his big hand inside Aria's blanket, gently holding the small hand, before closing his eyes.

Today was New Year's Eve, it was the end of the first year he had spent with his Aria, they should have been celebrating by now with their two boys, but the ruthless beauty did not wish to celebrate with him, he thought.

With the sound of the piano no longer covering the machine, the steadily decreasing interval heart rate sound once again hurt his ears, even more than before.

He already had trouble sleeping these days, with the irritating sound that reminded him of Aria's ailment added to it, even more so he could no longer fall asleep and forget everything, but even then he had never thought to sleep somewhere else other than beside her...

It bipped once...

Then again...

And again once more...

Until complete silence predominated the room, just as he could no longer stand the sound of the machine or his heart that seemed to jump from his chest as the silent interval between heartbeats prolonged more and more.

Startled awake, Zane urgently opened his eyes afraid that the machine was malfunctioning or even worse... her heart was no longer beating.

At this point, he was no longer cleared headed enough to realize that if Aria had died a single uninterrupted sound would have resounded in the room instead of complete silence, but who could blame him...

In front of his eyes the image was completely different than what he had expected. Aria and even the room they had been inside of were nowhere in sight...

Not only was he no longer inside his house, even the time of day was wrong and weather for that matter.

It was a clear sunny summer day, not even one single cloud painted the immutable ultramarine sky, of course you could not even talk about the snow that previously covered the entire city in a white cold blanket. But Zane could not pay attention to these facts, as he looked around, trying to pinpoint his exact location.

Could this perhaps be a dream? He thought. It was the only logical explanation for the otherwise weird situation.

It was not like it hadn't happened before, a person could realize they were dreaming and still keep on living inside the fantasy world of their mind without waking up.

The problem was, he had never had such a vivid dream before, he could feel the warmth in the atmosphere as though his skin could really sense it, and the gentle breeze even brought with it the sweet smell of flowers.

He felt as though he was really in front of the large somewhat old building that he had walked towards as he contemplated on the weird dream. It was after all, the only sign of life that he had seen in front of his eyes, so he had unknowingly stepped towards it.

Moreover, for some reason he had felt drawn to it. And even more so he wanted to step inside when the claps of a piano reached his ears.

The piano he had in the mansion was worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, the sound it made was evidence of its exquisiteness and its expensive price. In contrast, the sound he was currently hearing was out of tune as though the musical instrument was not properly looked after.

It made the listener feel as though it was only a crude attempt at performing a piano piece, and not only because of the instrument itself, but also because of the inexperienced style of playing, and the childish song chosen to be played.

Nonetheless, Zane still entered the building which to his surprise was in actual fact filled with children of various ages.

Although on the outside, the building hadn't appeared to be occupied by many people, the inside of it was full of life.

This many children gathered in one place, gave off the feeling of a day care center, of a kindergarten, but the shabby clothes on the children, coupled with the words he had read which were inscribed on the front door, made Zane realize that it was in fact an orphanage.

It was a really strange dream already before this, as he had never visited an orphanage before. So he wouldn't have known how one looked inside of it to be able to imagine it so accurately, or dream of it for that matter. But what was even stranger was the fact that none of the children seemed to notice his presence even though they were laughing and playing with one another right beside him.

If he wasn't present in the building, and only looked at it from the outside, he would have thought that it was more like a movie than a dream, seeing as nobody actively interacted with him, or better said the scenery felt like a memory.

A memory... he had no such memories, so why did it gave off a memory like feeling? He had no clue how to answer this question.

As he was still pondering over why he was dreaming of this place, he had already reached the room that he had pinpointed the sound coming from.

Curiosity had never been one of his distinctive traits, but at this moment he really wished to see the player of the song. With a creaking sound, the door slowly opened after a gentle push of the handle.

The light that poured out from inside the well lit room, momentarily blinded Zane and only some seconds later did he manage to adjust his sight and properly gaze inside the room.

This was his intention, but he could not precisely study the place as he remained speechless with his gaze firmly captured by the center of the room, or better said by the person that occupied the chair in front of the piano. His whole body did not move in the slightest, and even his breath seem to stop as his eyes fell upon the player of the piece.

The young girl seemed no older than ten years of age. He could not see any of the distinctive features a woman should have, well considering the age of the child it was only natural, but he could not shake off the feeling that this was Aria, his Aria. The traits of an adult Aria seemed to be present still, although they were hidden behind the childishness.

He kept overlapping the image of the small girl, who was playing Twinkle Twinkle little star, with the sight of Aria, when he had caught the latter inside the mansion's music room and had offered to teach her how to play the piano.

"Aria." The name involuntarily escaped his lips, but the child kept on playing unbothered. Just like the children from before, the young girl was also akin to a memory. He could not intervene in any way to the flow of the events.

And as to how he reached this conclusion, well after some more moments in which he did not know what to do, he finally moved closer to the piano. If the small girl would not reply, then he would force her to react by interrupting her piece.

But when he tried to place his hand on top of the smaller version of Aria's hand, unexpectedly his fingers ran directly through her palm unobstructed. So the girl continued to play her song joyfully unbothered.

"Aria!" He yelled louder, as his frustration was rearing its ugly head again. Although the girl was very much awake, as opposed to the comatose Aria, ironically she was also very much similar to her as well in regards to the fact that she was also not caring for his presence.

"Aria, say something!"

Perhaps because of the vividness of the dream, but he was already linking the situation with reality, confusing and blending the two together.

As he yelled a third time, the image changed, and he hoped that he could finally wake up. He did not like not being in control of everything, and the thing he most lacked right now was control.

Unfortunately his wish did not come about, as the scenery changed, and a slightly older version of the girl appeared. It was the same room as before and the girl was still playing the same tune, but her brightness was visible tone down.

With her body a little bit bigger than before it did not make the young girl look healthier, far from it. The little bit of flesh that she had when she was younger had vanished, leaving behind quite a frail and slim child, unnaturally so.

Her health was visibly poorer, and as if to prove it, the girl was unable to complete the short piece before she broke out in an unstoppable coughing fit.

Zane again wanted to approach the girl, who resembled Aria even more so than the child from before, but was unable to as the scenery changed again.

The same room, the same girl, an even closer resemblance greeted his eyes once more, but at the same time an even poorer health state the girl had. She wasn't even able to press the keyboard for more than several notes before her feeble hands started trembling, as she could no longer support their weight when they rose up above the piano.

It could be said that what Zane was seeing was snips and bits of this particular girl's life, seeing as the room changed again. Again... and again... until the room was empty.

The sky was still bright and sunny, the room seemed only a little bit older and shabbier than before, but its scenery seemed utterly desolate without the girl's presence.

When the image changed again, he felt relieved thinking that perhaps the memories, if he could call them that, might have been of a particular day of each year and so the girl was just not inside the room at that time thus the displayed scene hadn't held her presence as well.

With the changed picture, the girl might appear again, an even closer appearance to Aria, if not the same, could appear in front of his eyes. He even anticipated the changed scenery with a moving and conscious Aria, but...

The blue sunny sky turned grey, the lively piano room became a hospital room it seemed, and the once lively cute girl had become an adult...

Laid on the bed with countless equipment linked to her arms and face, the young woman resembled his current Aria the most. But for some reason, the sight in front of him seemed more heart-wrenching than the Aria that was laying in the mansion.

The frail skinny girl was not even a quarter taken care of as Aria was. He could distinctly realize this, as the whole body appeared to be at the last moments of life. At this moment for no one to be beside her... how suffocating and heartbroken this girl must be, he thought. His brows could no longer unfrown themselves, as his gaze was once again captured by the girl, who was seemingly staring lifeless towards the ceiling.

Who was this woman he was dreaming of and why was there no difference inside his mind between his Aria and her?

The features seemed quite alike, but his Aria had never been in such a state before and had never occupied such a hospital room, so why was he imagining her here?

The identities of the two women kept overlapping inside Zane's mind as the young girl from the orphanage morphed in the Aria who had occupied the mansion's music room, and at the same time the young lady on the hospital bed transformed herself in Aria from the mansion, with even the room reconstructing itself in their bedroom.

Opening his eyes alarmed, just like he had done before only to realize he was in a dream,

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