Y/N's POV

Y/N felt the inconvenience she was providing for everyone keenly. The remaining concerts had been rescheduled, with sincerest apologies, because no one wanted Yoongi trying to balance his personal and professional life. Could he? Yes. Should he? No. Everyone practically lived at the hospital, with no semblance of personal space. And it was because of her.

The doctor had given Yoongi a scolding for being in bed with her, citing healing reasons, but all Yoongi had done was clutch her tighter. His brothers had to practically push him out of the room to sleep and shower.

"Y/N doesn't want to be around someone stinky!" Jimin had protested, helping Hoseok shove him into the hallway and slamming the door so Yoongi was forced to go back to the band's apartment for a change of clothes. He stayed away from his own apartment, he didn't want to go there if Y/N wasn't going to be there to greet him.

She was easily tired and slept a lot. She didn't talk much but she watched. And she thought. She wasn't sure how she felt about being pregnant. She felt...rather disconnected actually. She knew it was a fact and yet she had always thought that pregnancy was like a momentous milestone, something you celebrated. To her, right now, it felt empty. Like nothing had changed.

Did she even want the baby? She'd bite her lip, forcing herself to turn the question over in her mind. It wasn't that she hated it...but it sure seemed like a huge hassle to go through with the pregnancy. She'd always thought that pregnancy made you feel more bonded with the father. After all you both had created this life, but she didn't feel that way at all. It was like there was a void and she was desperately searching for how she should feel so she had something to put there. She'd always liked kids, been good with them. Had even toyed with maybe adopting once she got older. But now that she had her own, growing inside her, she just felt dead.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" It was Jimin's turn. Yoongi may be married to her but all the boys cared and had been taking turns sitting up with her and Yoongi, when he wasn't sleeping. The doctors were concerned that she still might take a turn for the worse and the baby was under close monitoring. Jimin had art supplies spread across her sheets and they were both writing Korean sayings in as beautiful handwriting as they could manage. She didn't reply.

"I...I don't know." She sighed and leaned back into the pillows, running her fingers through her hair.

"Are you one of those people that just wants it to be healthy?" Jimin chuckled as he bent closer to his paper, licking his lips in concentration.

"I don't know." She whispered, almost to herself. Her voice made him look up.

"What's wrong, Y/N?" He patted her free hand and she sighed and closed her eyes, not replying. Jimin studied her face, guessing at what she was thinking but not sure if he should say anything. "You're not a bad person for wishing things had happened differently." He finally said, quietly. She opened her eyes and looked at him, seeing sympathy directed towards her.

"I'm not?" She sounded doubtful. He shook his head.

"No one's ever wrong for not wanting bad things to have happened to them." She still looked doubtful but wasn't going to insist he was wrong. "But..." He looked down, busying himself with his drawing again. "...at some point you need to accept that it's your story. And then write the rest of it like you want to."

"Yeah but what do I want to write." Her voice was low and it was said to herself. If she could write...she wished she could write out, erase, everything that happened. But that was running and running wasn't healthy and maybe she'd regret it for the rest of her life... "Aisssh." Her head started spinning and she ran her hand down her face. She felt lost. By herself. If she didn't trust others she'd stay that way but she didn't want to.

That's what it was. She didn't want to. She never wanted to have to rely on anyone ever again.

"You don't have to decide now." He said, reassuringly. His thick bangs fell forward, covering his face from her line of sight and she watched him keep drawing. She twiddled with her pen.

"I'll have to tell my family." She said finally. He looked up, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Do they know what happened?" She nodded.

"I checked my email, they saw the news. They want answers." Answers she didn't want to give. She didn't want to make that call. He patted her hand again.

"We're here, Y/N. We'll help you."

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A/N: "She Doesn't Like Flowers" is out and started updating this past weekend. :)