"Let Me Be Strong"

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Yoongi's POV

(TW: discussion of suicide)

The next morning he actually woke up before her. She was breathing deeply in her sleep and he watched her. In different circumstances...no, he couldn't think like that. It was what it was. He texted Namjoon what was going on and then quietly called his manager. He needed to tell someone but how did you explain this to another person?

She was still sleeping when he left for BigHit's headquarters.

-

"Do you love her?" He needed all his band brothers. It had been hard to force the words out of his mouth and they were all shocked but holding it together for him. Namjoon had asked this.

"I...I don't know. I thought I did but as time goes by more and more bad memories get attached to our situation and I can't help but want out." He looked at his hands. "And I don't know how to do this." His hyung and maknaes had no answer.

"It sounds like this is really affecting her. I mean, you too. But more so her. I think you're going to need to take charge and just do it. Maybe you're second-guessing it now but we've definitely seen that you care about her. Call up those feelings and do what you have to do." Taehyung suggested quietly. Yoongi brought his thumb up to chew on the nail. How could he do this?

He was semi-forming a plan with their help when he got a call from his uncle. Oh, for crying out loud.

"Bwa."

"Come get her." His uncle had an exasperated tone and didn't say anything else, just hung up.

-

At the door, his uncle's adviser greeted him with a tight-lip and quickly escorted him to the office. He could hear yelling inside, even before the door was opened. His uncle always seemed...evilly calmed and collected, it surprised Yoongi to see him behind his desk, face red and completely discombobulated. Only Y/N seemed to be able to do this.

"Do it! It'll take time but I'll just marry him off to someone else!" Y/N, he'd never seen her like this either. She was rigid, fire and insanity dancing in her eyes. He stopped just inside the door, not sure what to do. His uncle picked up a stapler and threw it at her. "You'll make an heir or he'll be married a second time!"

"Whoa!" Yoongi jumped forward, shielding her with his body and earning a glare before his uncle started again.

"I'll take away his music and I'll kill your family! Don't you doubt it!"

"I don't FUCKING CARE!" Y/N screamed back, attempting to step around Yoongi and being blocked. She may have lost it but he hadn't.

"Get her out of here before she doesn't have to worry about killing herself, I'LL DO IT FOR HER!" His uncle reached for some pens but stopped when Yoongi raised his arms defensively. "OUT OF HERE! NOW! Before you get blacklisted in the music industry!" Gladly, all he wanted was out of here. Yoongi grabbed Y/N's arm with one hand and wrapped the other around her shoulders so his uncle couldn't hit her with a last-minute volley. She looked furious but didn't resist.

They didn't talk the whole drive home. His mind was whirling, while she stared blankly out the window. He had never seen her that unhinged before and...suicide?

Once home, he grabbed her hand and turned her towards him before she could walk off.

"What was that?" She didn't look him in the eye.

"I can't do it." Her voice was emotionless.
"So you're just going to kill yourself?" Despite himself his voice rose a little. She covered her face with her hands for a minute. When she spoke he could tell she was trying not to cry and the little spitfire from earlier had withdrawn into herself.

"Do you have any idea what this is doing to me? I feel like I'm already dead inside. I'm helpless, completely at his mercy. At your mercy. It makes me feel so...sick."

"And what about me? Do you think I like this? Do you think I want a kid? You think I want my career threatened? You think I like being forced to marry you?!" He ended in broken satoori and then realized how harsh his last words must've sounded. "Look at me." It was a moment before she did but she finally uncovered her eyes. The tears hadn't started to fall yet. 

 He took both her hands in his. "You're a strong person, Y/N. My uncle has beat and beat on you and yet you still fight. I know this scares you. It scares me too. But I have your back. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it, okay? And when the time comes..." He hesitated. "Remember we're on the same side. Okay? Can you do this?" She sniffled.

"Yoongi-ssi. I never wanted to get married. I'm tired of fighting. I've fought enough."

"I know dealing with him is hard but..." She slid her hand out of his and held it up to stop him in mid-sentence.

"Not this." A tear slid out and she quickly wiped it away. "Yes, this. But before this. I've been through too much shit. I don't want to do it anymore." She looked so defeated.

"I've been through shit too, Y/N. I never wanted to get married like this. But we have to work with what we have. You've had my back this whole time. God knows, what you've put up with to keep him from taking away my music and hurting your family. Let me be strong this time, okay? Let me get you through it. Deh?" She finally nodded and he sighed and wrapped her in a hug before he could have second thoughts. How could someone be so strong, a demon, one moment and so vulnerable the next?

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