Chapter 30 - Good Morning America

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Trisha, Pookie and I sit in the backstage lounge of Good Morning America. It's crazy that I have wanted to be on these shows my whole life and then suddenly I am. It is unfortunate that both my closest friends are giving me the silent treatment. 

Pookie especially. 

He hasn't looked me in my face once and when he speaks I cannot tell if his speech is directed at me. 

I am dressed in a sleek black dress with a slit up to my thighs by D'tello and black Jordan sneakers, my hair is straight and the same make up crew works their magic on my face.  What seems to be Jazz plays in the back room and my legs are crossed as I sit quietly. 

We can see the show on the TV in front of us, there is an actor that I do not know being interviewed. The jokes are corny but he laughs anyway. I take note. I wouldn't want my attitude getting in the way of the interview. 

My publicist went over a couple things on the phone with me this morning. What to say and what not to say, how to get around questions politely. Blaco is speaking to friends in the crew, I guess he has been here before. 

"I'll be back, ima step outside." Pookie says to Trisha as his phone rings. 

Me and Trisha are alone for the first time since the other night. I feel her face on mines, I feel her stare burning through my skin and I know she is just waiting patiently for me to look at her so she can scold me. 

I take a deep breath and look into my lap. My phone stares back at me with missed calls and texts from Devin. I never called him back that night but I also haven't called or texted at all in the last few days. I felt fake speaking to him like nothing happened. 

"You not gon look at me, coward?" Trisha speaks. 

I remain quiet with nothing to stay. 

"I'm not mad that you fucked, Bizzy. Kudos to you." She says. I look up at her now. 

"I was drunk and hi-" 

"I am mad that you were stupid enough not to wear a condom." She whispers firmly. 

My heartbeat is in my throat and I turn my phone around and around in my hands. 

"I am mad that you tried to hide it from me and Pookie had to tell me." She continues. 

"And I am mad as fuck that I ain't get to fuck Bizzy." She mumbles low enough for me to hear but I still think it was meant for her own ears. I don't laugh though I feel the urge. 

"What were you thinking? You know these rappers be sleeping  with 10,000 bitches in one night." She looks at me like I am impossible to deal with. Like my mother would if she knew. 

"I know." I lean back in my chair and stare at the ceiling. "It was stupid." 

"It was VERY stupid." Trisha raises her voice and I look around to see if anyone is listening. 

"We need to get you tested." She sighs and rubs her head. 

"I'm not going to bring up Trev and tell you how you've betrayed him because you will deal with that guilt and all the other guilt you're building up on your own time. But you cannot do dumb shit like that, Chanel." She runs her fingers through her hair that she had dyed blonde in the last few days. 

Her blonde hair against her milk brown skin actually worked. She wore a white dress that brought out her curves and a few pieces of gold jewelry and her make up looked flawless. I was pleased to call her my best friend, even when she was very mad at me. 

She was right, there was a long list of things I had to be guilty for. A long list I would surely get my share back in karma for. I take a deep breath and purse my lips. I knew the guilt would come like the grim reaper in the night. I knew somewhere in all the mess was another breakdown. 

"2 minutes, Chanel." A lady with a headset swings by the door. 

"Okay." I answer. 

I stand up and Trisha makes sure my clothes are straightened and my hair is good. She brings some of the hair in front of my shoulder and pushes some back. 

"Thank you." I say lightly. 

She doesn't respond. 

"You look pretty." I follow  up. 

"Be quiet." She answers but I see a little smile at the edge of her lips. 

"I love you." I add in a baby voice. 

"You better love me, all the shit I deal with for you." She mumbles spraying my neck with perfume. 

"Alright, go make an impression." She says. 

The audience screen is still displaying my Youtube video and how Pop Off has risen on the charts and a collage of my S.O.B performance as well as pictures of Mac and I. 

"Please give a warm welcome to, Chanel Little!" Kate Snow says. The screen dims back to the Good Morning America default and I am told to walk out. 

The crowd applauds and I put on my best smile and walk across the stage. I wave at a few young girls in the front row who are screaming at the top of their lungs. They wave back and look at each other excited. 

I give Kate Snow and Bill Weir a hug then take my seat in the small stool across from them. 

The applause dies down and Kate who has shiny blonde hair and pink lips, looks at me thrilled. 

"Chanel! It is great to have you here." She speaks. 

"Great to be here, thank you for having me." I smile without showing teeth. 

"Boy, you have really gained some popularity in the last few months, how does it feel?" Kate asks. 

"Yea, a few weeks ago my teenage sons came up to me singing one of your freestyles and I felt so lost. They had to sit me down and tell me about you." Bill Weir says. His bright white teeth and brown hair are as shiny as Kate's persona. 

I laugh. "Wow, really? Well the sudden popularity is definitely new to me but I'm very thankful for the opportunities popping up. I'm especially thankful for the people listening and waiting for new music to surface. It makes me want to work a lot harder." 

I respond. 

"We see a lot of pictures with you and the famous Mac Wayne. Are you two really that close?" Kate laughs. 

"Yes, yes. Mac is my dude. We started working together a few months ago and he's such a burst of joy and positive energy. He really brings the best out of everyone he comes in contact with and I was surprised to see that despite his fame he was still a very down to earth guy." I nod. 

"How did you meet Mac or get into his radar?" Bill asks. 

"I was actually working with another amazing producer, Flex." I say. 

The crowds cheers. "Yea, who doesn't know Flex." I laugh and fan off. 

"I was working with Flex who grew up in Brownsville but was on vacation in the Bronx. So I spent some time earlier in the year working with him and recording over his beats. Just messing around." I say. 

Kate interrupts. "Not expecting it to get this big this fast." She adds. 

"No definitely not. I mean I wanted to become known, every artist does but I wasn't expecting, you know." I motion with my hands to the show and the fans. The audience cheers. 

"So Flex sent some of the tracks we worked on to Mac, without my knowledge." I look into the camera and make an angry face at Flex. The crowd as well as Kate and Bill break into laughter. 

I chuckle myself. "He sent it to Mac and in a few days I was meeting with a representative of the label and I was being told that Mac actually loved my sound and my vibes and things like that."

"Wow. That's like the dream of any good artist. " Bill says. "How did you feel hearing that Mac liked your sound. 

"Honestly, I almost passed out." I say without thought. They laugh again. "It didn't feel real and it still doesn't feel real, even when he's standing in front of me telling me ideas. I'm still just like ...Is this really happening right now?" 

"I can imagine. So your Youtube freestyle now has 4 million views in the course of a month or so." Kate says. 

"Yesss." I make prayer hands and bow to the audience. "I'm so thankful for that." 

"And your Pop Off Freestyle is number four on iTunes and number five on Bill Boards Top 100." She finishes. 

I nod eager. "We climbin!"

"Yes you are climbing!" Kate laughs. 

I nod again. "Yes, we climbin." I say again. The audience chuckles and I look at them and flash a smile. There are a few young people in the crowd that wave every time I look out there. 

"You have a very fun personality. You're easy to talk to." Bill says. 

"Thank you. Mac and Flex think I should smile more and drop my attitude." I roll my eyes. 

"Really?" Kate looks at me in disbelief. 

"Yea but I be tryna tell him that I'm from Brownsville, Brooklyn so you always gonna get some kinda attitude at some point." I put my hands up in surrender and laugh.  

"Yea, Mac. " Kate snaps at the camera. I titter. 

"Who are you wearing today? You look gorgeous." Kate chimes. 

"The dress is by D'tello." I answer proudly. 

"My teenage boys talk about him all the time also. Would you say you are more supportive of the talent and creativity coming out of your hometown?" Bill asks. 

"Most definitely. I respect talent and creativity from everywhere but I fully support anything that comes from NYC, just because it's like a proud feeling, like wow I'm from there. You rep harder." 

"So tell us about the music you have in store for us. Now is the perfect time to drop tracks right? Everyone is waiting for it, high anticipation." Bill says looking at me intently. 

"Well, I have been told that I can't give away much information on upcoming tracks but what I will say is I cannot wait to release it and watch the feedback. We are working hard and I just want it to pay off." 

They both nod understanding. 

"There you have it folks, Chanel Little. We climbing." Kate mimics me and I throw my head back in laughter. 

"We climbing." I say to the camera. 

"We will be right back with Chanel's performance after this break, stay tuned." 

The man behind the camera counts down and the cameras clear. 

Kate and Bill turn to me, relaxing from their upright posture. 

"Chanel, you are lovely and very funny." Kate says.

"Nah, I don't think i'm that funny. Thank you though." I answer. 

"Who are you here with today?" Bill asks. 

"My manager Blaco, and my best friends Trisha and Po - Anthony." I correct realizing hood nicknames probably weren't the best names to tell these white people on this show. 

"Can we meet your best friends." They ask. 

"Sure." I turn to the side of the stage and wave Trisha and Pookie to come out. 

They walk out and shake Kate and Bill's hand. 

"Has she been taking you guys along on her adventures to fame?" Bill asks. 

Trisha smiles. "Oh yes, I'm already getting special treatment. I love it." 

Pookie adds. "I got to meet one of my favorite rappers at S.O.Bs, so I would say so for sure."  

Pookie looks into my eyes momentarily and I softly turn away from his gaze.

They continue talking and laughing with the hosts until the camera man signals that the commercial break is over. 

By then I have a microphone and band set up behind me. I perform the chill version of the Pop Off Freestyle which feels weird in this crowd but I add my attitude and get the reaction I want from the crowd. Nothing will compare to the S.O.Bs performance though. 

They thank me for being on the show and I exit off the stage. 

"Very good." Blaco nods. 

There is a limo waiting for us outside and a few fans that want autographs. 

Blaco gives me the go ahead and I take a few pictures and give a few hugs. A lot of my fans weren't old enough to be listening to either freestyle. We laughed about it in the car. 



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