Fifty-one

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Jeremy frowns when he sees me.

"I don't think you came here to see how I'm doing as if you're not the one who put me here. That would be so fucking touching." He laughs annoyingly.

"Exactly. So no need for you to flatter yourself," I reply crossly, pushing my way toward the worn-out, metallic chair.

We sit down after a brief moment of nothingness.

"You haven't changed a bit, Kira Jones," Jeremy taunts; he reclines back in his chair like a crown prince on the throne, and his bored gaze stays on me. He then sighs deeply, placing his cuffed hands on the table without moving his body from stillness. "I really liked you, you know. I swear I did. There's something about you that I can't seem to find anywhere else and maybe that's why I liked you that much," he says in a very calm tone of voice, a smile dancing in his eyes.

"Oh, what a grand way of expressing your liking, huh? Well, I didn't. And even if I had a tiny bit of consideration for you, it all died when you resorted to such lowly and cowardly tricks!" I snarl at him, hardly paying attention to the guard glaring at us.

Jeremy clamps his one fist, and his jaw tightens in the process.

"I'm curious about one thing," he says and draws himself forward to have a closer look into my eyes. I suppose. "Did you even see me as a human being, Kira Jones? Because no one sees me as one, apparently. They all think I'm a beast with no feelings—even my own parents. And some even say I'm incapable of loving anyone, which is a total bullshit." He grits his teeth and color vanishes on his face.

I swallow tightly, unsure where he's heading with this... outburst? Confession? I don't know what it is.

"What's really the problem with you, Jeremy? What makes you think that people around you don't care about you, while you're the one who pushes them away with your behavior?" I nearly yell, for he constantly blames others for his own misdeeds.

His family, his peers, he simply finds no comfort in anyone close to him. He sees them as enemies and I never understood why. Well, I'm not sure if I'm here to understand the psychology of my assailant or not, but he surely looks pitiful to me.

Yeah, I'm probably foolish for being curious about his psyche.

He's a monster. He has no heart. Maybe it's what I should be thinking of.

"You're just like everyone else, Kira, so stop pretending as if you care!" he snaps angrily, a very sudden shift of his composure. "I thought you were different! I thought you'd understand me! But no, you're just like them!" He's almost enraged, too much hate scintillating through his inundated eyes.

No, this guy is not okay.

"I did like the guy I saved from the swimming pool!" I snap back. "Yes, the prankster who laughed so hard at my baffled face when I learned it was just a silly prank to draw my attention—I did like him. The guy who sat for two hours watching me teach the kids how to swim, and even offered to help, that's the guy I liked. You were wonderful, Jeremy. If I didn't know your true colors, I could've said you were simply amazing. I could laugh hearing you singing out loud in that messy voice and say he's great."

"Kira..." He stammers, surprised, if not taken aback. His jaw flexes in a fleeting moment, and I guess some kind of remorse washes over him, but for how long it can stay I don't know. Like a confused Autistic child, he rubs his hands together while hovering for something else to say, only to end up muttering, "I-I did like you."

"The fuck you did," I retort, laughing swiftly at how amused his statement renders me.

"I still like you, Kira! I love—"

"You showed up with different girls each new day, and arrogantly proved what an alpha you are." Recalling the absurdity, I let out a very irksome smile. "So I thought to myself, is he really the one I want? And my answer was no, you're not the one." By now he could tear me up with his gaze, but he holds himself so tightly. "What? Would you like me to go on telling you why I stopped giving a shit about you?"

"I did that because I didn't want to fall for you!" he snaps angrily, nearly yanking my neck if he weren't strained with handcuffs. But then he sighs and his anger seems to simmer a bit. "Or maybe, I just wanted more of your attention. I don't know. I thought you were special. The way you spoke to those kids, the way you handled them, how you smiled at them, at me... I felt like you were an angel sent to save me. I thought that you're the one, Kira, just one person in the world who can save me from myself."

"You can't be serious!" I don't know what to say as I'm not sure whether I should be angry at him or feel sorry for him for being detached from reality.

"It's all in the past now, right? I'm here, handcuffed"—he lifts his hands above the table—"so it shouldn't matter to you as it's exactly what you wanted all this time." His face softens as he takes another sigh, a completely different turn from the guy who's been shouting a while ago.

Bipolar. Maybe it wasn't all a lie.

"Right. It's in the past and that's why I'm here right now to put an end to it," I tell him frankly, for I'm ready to forget those days, and mostly that dreadful night and move on with my life. I want him and his family away from me. "Your brother came to me and said you're sick. He said that—"

"What?" Jeremy thunders and his composure shifts again like a stirred bucket of dirty water. "He came to you! Does that mean you're here because of that? Because you pity me? Is that it?" He looks more agitated than before.

My eyes squint, confused.

"He begged me to drop the charges because you have to be treated! Yeah, that you may die if you don't get the surgery on time and blah blah blah. Honestly, I don't believe it! For all, I know you rich folks can do just anything to get away with your shit! So why should I do as he says, huh? Under what ground should I set free the guy who hurts me whenever he gets the chance?" My anger resumes and I lose my composure again.

"You don't have to," Jeremy tells me gently. "As you said, I'm already a living corpse. Just get the hell out of here, and go see your boyfriend! Isn't he the one making it impossible for me to get out of here?"

Huh? Is it true that Liam could've possibly tightened the strings here?

"Stop pretending as if you care, Kira; I know you hate me and I couldn't care less. I wanted one thing from you, but you couldn't give it to me. Yes, I hurt you, but I'm already paying for it, so go ahead and live your life." He sounds like a person who has no hope left and it leaves me at the crossroad. "Guards! We are done here!" he yells as he gets up.

"I hate you," I reply, and he halts, his fists clenched tightly. "I hate you more than you could've possibly imagined, for what you did to me that night." Every muscle in my body stiffens like frozen oatmeal, but anger burns the cold shuddering me from within. Sighing softly, I add, " But I'm not a monster, Jeremy. I'll do what I think is right and nothing more."

Silence settles as we are both staring at one another as though for once we can see each other for what we truly are. Broken beyond repair.

"Typical Jones. Always doing what's right; no wonder your so-called best friend doesn't give a crap about you," he says with a smirk. It's a stab in my heart. "You're angry with me, so why are you doing this?" he asks curiously.

Because I'm stupid! That's it.

"I could stay angry at you forever, but what's the point? They say Karma is a bitch, so I'm leaving you to it," I answer in the same arrogant manner as his.

Jeremy laughs in wonder as he turns around, his head shaking to the sides. "What are you, damn it? Mother Teresa? A Saint?"

"I'm neither. And I'm not going to drop the charges against you, Jeremy, so don't rejoice yet. I'm simply going to explain what really happened as I strongly believe that you're sick in the head and you need help before you hurt another person in or out of these walls! You know what I'm talking about, don't you?" I ask him because now I'm convinced that he's truly insane.

"Fuck!" he groans loudly. "I'm not crazy! I came to apologize to you! That's all I wanted from you!"

"We're all crazy, Jeremy!" I yell. "Just... some people, like you, are more controlled by insanity and so they need help. You and I, from this day forward, are total strangers so I don't expect to ever see you again, Jeremy. If you truly want my forgiveness for what happened that evening, then stay away from me! Don't ever show yourself in front of me. Goodbye."

I grab my bag and walk away.

"Kira, wait," Jeremy utters desperately, but I'm already getting out. "Kira!" he shouts.

About thirty minutes later I step out of the precinct. Sergeant Connor asked why I decided to revise my statement and my answer was as frank as possible. I simply explained what happened from the moment Jeremy walked into my house and everything we talked about.

If that can set him free then so be it. I'll let the law decide where he truly belongs.

Sam is leaning slightly on Jonathan's car, her fingers tapping furiously, absently, on the screen of her phone. I take my time contemplating her profile: messy blonde hair; she's wearing leggings and a T-shirt with a sweater hanging around her waist.

The moment she sees me her face darkens.

How did we end up like this? I wonder.

Taking a courageous breath, I walk towards her to say what I have in mind. We're now alone, for Jonathan and Traven are still inside doing whatever is in their interest regarding their brother's case.

"Oh, you've finally decided to stop being selfish and think of others, huh? I'm glad you've chosen a humanitarian side that you love so much," Sam chirps with an intended sarcasm.

"Maybe," I reply with a small smile. " But this is the last time I'll let you win, Samantha."

"Excuse me?" She strips her attention off her phone for good.

"I always let you get away with everything. Do you know why?" I ask painfully, and she holds her breath while fixing her curious eyes more intently. I smile and say, "It's because I loved and cared for you so blindly. I've never, ever, put myself first before you. Never, Sam. But the very first time I tried, you turned us into this!"

"Liar!" Sam snaps, whisking her face closer toward mine. "That's what you are. If you cared about me you wouldn't have betrayed me like that! You wouldn't even think of doing that, Kira! You wouldn't hurt me as you did!"

"I did not betray you!" I snap back. "No. My only mistake... I did not tell you about my feelings for him sooner. That's the only mistake I made!" I refuse to be blamed for everything.

Moving closer, Sam says, "Until the end, you're still shameless. You still think what you did is nothing. You still believe you weren't wrong at all by stabbing me in the back!" Fresh anger and grudge flash through her eyes.

I scoff, straying my gaze for a moment because I'm sick and tired of explaining myself to her.

"If Liam had feelings for you, I swear I wouldn't have entertained mine for even a second. But that wasn't the case, Sam. You two had nothing going on, and I believe it was his choice to make—whether he wanted you or me. He could've played us both but he didn't, so it means, he liked me, okay?" He loves me! "And I don't want to be blamed for HIS choice!" I let it out as blunt and painful as it is toward her.

"So now you think you're better than me?" Sam gets even madder.

I'm so done with this!

So, to put it mildly, I simply tell her, "Grow up, Samantha! The world doesn't revolve around you, and the sooner you realize it the better. I do not compete with anyone and you should know that better than anyone in this world. But if that's what you are thinking, then I'm afraid I can't do anything about it. You're completely free to express your opinions no matter how deluded you are, but it doesn't mean they are valid."

"How dare you—" She raises her hand but I catch it midair this time.

"I told you I won't let you win again," I seethe, hurt by her hatred for me as if I stole a husband from her. Responsively, her cheeks puff with anger and I hold her grip steadfastly in the air. "Our scores are settled now. I owe you nothing from this moment on because I've done what you wanted me to do, as hard as it was."

"Kira. Sam?" A male voice interrupts, and it's how I set Sam's wrist free.

As I turn around, I see Jonathan and a smart-looking man wearing a black suit. Probably a lawyer as he's been with them for a while now. Without a word, I take my leave.

I haul the first taxi I see. Now I remember Liam and my heart flips. God, I'm fucked. I check my phone breezily and the number of missed calls from him widens my eyes. Six? I'm done for. I waste no second calling him back, knowing fully well that I'm already in deep shit.

"Where are you?" His pissed voice asks flatly.

"On my way back to the hotel. Can we please talk in person? I have something to say," I breathe.

"Go straight to your place," Liam answers crisply, "I left the hotel already."

Shit! He's mad. I can feel it.

"Oh, okay. I just—" I pause, for the line is already dead.

He has just hung up on me.

Bon voyage, Kira.

When I arrive home I see Liam's jaguar outside. God, help me. He's already here, waiting for me. Staring at my duplex, I feel like I've reached the beginning of my end. My heart pounds heavily against my chest as I climb the stairs up to my flat.


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