Маленький волк

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Colors, fragments flash through my mind, a kaleidoscope of pictures, like watching a movie reel spinning on overdrive. I know I'm dreaming, stuck in a semi-conscious state, aware but unable to wake.

Letting my mind drift, I attempt to slow down what I see, to focus on one picture rather than all. I'm unfamiliar with the images and scenes, but there's one common element in everything I'm witnessing: Griffin. My Wolf. And with each slide comes foreign emotions, like I'm in his head.

Pushing all my energy to try and stop on one, I finally snagged a fragmented image of a youth, a boy, with innocent blue eyes, and I'm pulled in.

**********************************

She's in so much pain. I want to help her. I don't like seeing people cry, least of all girls. But he won't let me. He never lets me. He tells me I can only watch. Why won't he let me help her? Ma says I'm good at helping.

He tells me all women feel like this when I ask. That it's normal, natural, but I don't think he's telling the truth. He always smells kind of funny when he lies, and now he smells sour.

A little hand squeezes my own, and I look down to see large almond eyes peering back at me. She's scared too, she's seen what happens, and that this is NOT good, it's never good.

Smiling at her, I squeeze Ciara's hand back. We know not to talk when we're near the white room. We know not to make noise as it makes him mad, and we don't like it when he gets mad.

The woman, her name is Lila, I think, she looks like Ma, they all look like Ma, and she's screaming. There's blood coming from between her legs, and her belly is so big it looks like it's about to explode, just like what the soda bottles would do when Da used to shake them for fun. Da, I miss him so much. He wouldn't have had us here with him if he were still alive.

Another warm hand, this one bigger, comes to rest on my shoulder, the smell of jasmine and iris tickling my nose. Ma.

"Come, my Prince, you don't need to see this," then, reaching down to pick up Ciara, she coos at the little girl, "you either, mo bhanphrionsa beag," I know she just called Ciara her little princess. Ma has told me how smart I am that I can learn different languages.

I look up at her. Ma is beautiful, I look more like my Da, but I have her eyes. Ma's belly is getting larger too. I'm afraid that what is happening in the white room will happen to her when it's her time.

We've been in the facility for a while. Ma says it's been nine months, but I've lost track of time. All I know is that it's a really long time. I miss my Da. I want to go home to the Ranch and play with my friends. I miss my friends.

Ma leads us back to our room, all "his" kids should be in here, but it's just Ciara and me. Ma says that I need to behave for him so he doesn't hurt me. I know that's not true though, because he still gets angry with me even when I'm good, and do as he asks. He tells me that the pain will make me strong and that it's good for me to feel it, to see it. I don't like watching as he cuts up the women's bodies when they still make noise. I know it's all part of the procedure, the surgery, but I still don't like it.

Viktor is evil, calls himself a 'scientist.' But all I see him do is watch as they give birth to mess.

He tried once to get me to help with the delivery, got one of the women to lie down. I couldn't do it, and I felt like I would pee, so I cried. That made him mad. He called me a girl and pushed me out of the way. He then made me watch as he cut the woman's stomach, her voice making funny noises when she turned red and her eyes closed.

After she stopped moving, he made me clean up the mess. I made sure I didn't cry when I did that, even though the smell of the blood nearly made me sick.

Viktor does that to me now and then, trying to get me to help him. I'm not scared anymore. But I'm not cut out to be a doctor like him. He says it will make me the man that I need to be to help him build his family.

So far, it's just Ciara and me in his family, other than the women or wives, as he calls them. I don't know who Ciara's Ma was, but Ma told me she died when Ciara was born and that Viktor is her Da. Ma takes care of her as she does me. We're a family.

Viktor wants more kids in his family. I'm happy that he doesn't make Ciara help as he does me. She's only a little girl. Also, he's told me that she has been bought by someone and needs to stay pure. I don't know what pure means, and when I ask Ma, she turns away and cries.

Since he took Ma, I've seen three pregnant women die, blood and other chunky stuff coming from their girl parts. Viktor gets angry when this happens. I know the lump is meant to be a baby, but they're weird-looking and don't move. He makes me help him get rid of those women because I'm strong, and he tells me that I'm a good boy when I do.

I'm 12 now. I didn't celebrate my last birthday, but Ma says I'm 12, so I guess I am. Viktor says that when I'm 18, I will be a man and can help him build his family. He says that my wolf will help him create magical kids like Ciara. Her Ma was special, not a wolf, like Ma and I, but magic. He carries magic too, but he's not a wolf. He's something else.

I look at Ma and Ciara, who are sleeping, and walk silently out of our room and head back to the white room. I know Viktor will want my help, and if I make him happy, he'll not be angry with me.

I sneak back into the white room. Viktor is sitting on a large black seat watching Lila cry, her legs bent up on the table, and I think she's trying to push.

"Ah Маленький волк, come sit, join me as we create a new life," Ma says Маленький волк means 'little wolf'.

Tapping the chair beside him, I sit next to him. "Маленький волк, watch as she cries, her tears are perfect don't you think?"

I nod, even though I hate it, but I don't want him to get angry.

"Help, help me, please, Viktor." Lila cries as Viktor starts leaning forward. I frown when I see that he's not getting up to help her with the delivery. "Listen to that music, Маленький волк, doesn't it make you excited?

I don't say anything. I watch and pretend, pretend that I'm just like him. "Good my Маленький волк, so good, you're my boy, even if you are not of my seed. But know this," Viktor growls, running a hand over the back of my head, "I will make you mine, and together, with your wolf and my power, we will rule."

Blood is coming out quicker from Lila, I can see a lump coming from her lady parts, and all I can hear is her screams, and Viktor grins. "We will rule, and we will fuck, and we will create life."

I breathe hard. Lila is pushing, crying, screaming, the lump is getting bigger, and I close my eyes when she gets louder, my ears hurt from the noise, and I feel like they'll explode.

The screaming stops. I peek open my eyes and find Lila's ones closed, and the child lying on the bed is not moving. "Ah Маленький волк, another failure, thankfully your mother is not far now. I know she's strong enough for this."

Pushing me off the chair, I land on the floor. He stands up. "Time to clean, Griffin."

**********************************

What the FUCK was that, oh my GOD, oh my GOD...

Opening my eyes, I can see that I'm back in my room, lying on the bed, and am alone. Feeling ill, bile coating the insides of my mouth, I stumble off the mattress and rush to the toilet, making it just in time for my breakfast to make a reappearance as it enters the white ceramic bowl. What was that, what the fuck was that? Did I dream that? Was that even real...?

What the Hell did I see? The images of that room, of what that boy witnessed, what he felt, seeing that woman, seeing his mother. Oh my God, Aisling.

Resting my head against the cool porcelain, my heart breaks.

Oh my God! Griffin, what did he do to you?



AUTHOR NOTE:


I am not a massive fan of reading books from the anti-hero's point of view. I think it sometimes ruins the mystery - but to understand why Our Wolf is the way he is, I will be giving you glimpses into his mind - stay tuned for more...

Thank you again to my readers that have been leaving comments and liking chapters... I know it may not seem like a big deal, but it really does help as the author. The encouragement alone from a single like is massive - so please, keep it up...Also, I am posting this chapter a little earlier than usual, and it is all because of your interaction.


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