Chapter 11

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April 19th, 10:00 a.m. The Upper West Side, New York City

This chapter is dedicated to Erica Deckter, my nanowrimo writers group organizer and resident expert at finding several plot holes in my early drafts.

Kate woke up in her living room shirtless, with the TV still humming. She began the day with a scalding hot shower, but that did nothing to quell away the heroin induced itching nor wash away the self-loathing and anguish. In spite of the impressive cache of clothes, she stuck to basic outfits. Long sleeves were a must, probably a knit turtleneck today and a skirt.

Although she couldn't recall the last time she had slept through the night, she was certain it had been at least a month. Today, she'd finish up her work for Vanessa, but would require another hit by mid-afternoon.

She walked to the kitchen for a drink of water, then saw the envelope, then tore it open with her fingers. The initial anticipation of its contents as she read the return address met with apprehensive hesitation. She stuffed it in her purse.

Before leaving, she made the obligatory visit to the bathroom for a snort of cocaine up each nostril, her daily pick-me-up. She slipped on her kids-sized six shoes and sauntered down the steps onto the sidewalk, unaware of interested eyes.

She ordered the cabbie to take her to Fifty-eighth and Park. No small talk, please.

As the taxi crawled along Broadway, she removed the envelope from her purse, ripping it open with fingernails laced with powdery residue. Inside were two sheets of paper—one a cover letter, the other a name, address and phone number. She read it:

Dear Ms. Carrie,

Thank you for your inquiry.

You will be happy to know that our office has located your biological mother.

We have provided her address in the attachment, and you are free to make contact at any time.

Please understand that the Department of Health can never guarantee that a biological parent will be receptive to an adoptee's inquiry.

We wish you good luck in your search.

Sincerely,

Evelyn Wilson

For moment Kate's eyes welled, but the cocaine's effects kept her 'on'. As the taxi pulled to stop along the curb, she abruptly stuffed the envelope in her purse. Yesterday's memories effectively suppressed, she was ready to charge ahead. As the taxi pulled away, she stood before the edifice that was Frugeré headquarters. The coke high made her punchy as a bull in the ring.

When the elevator doors opened onto the lab floor, she noticed a few of her colleagues talking, one sobbing into a tissue. Usually everyone kept to themselves lest they become unfocused in their work, but today, they called her over.

"Kate," one of them said. "Have you heard?"

"What happened?" she responded, as if she didn't want to be bothered.

"Jared's dead. Run over by a truck outside the park yesterday! So awful."

This can't be happening. Her head swayed as if a brick had fallen on her, and she thought she might double over. Instead, rage quickly built up as she recalled yesterday's chain of events.

I'm such a fucking fool.

"Kate, did you hear what I said?" her colleague asked.

Outwardly vacant to others, she seethed within.

Vanessa!

"Are you okay?" Her fellow chemists looked at each other, wearing fearful expressions, trying to guess what she might do next.

This was more than she knew how to handle. Her stomach twisted in multiple rope knots. Her head throbbing, she had disassociated from the group.

"I gotta go," she croaked, dropping her purse to the floor and bolted for the elevator bank. She was determined, wearing a nothing-can-stop-me-now look on her face. One set of elevator doors opened as she got there. Without so much as an 'excuse me', she shouldered her way into the car and shouted sternly, "fifty-two."

What had happened was so obvious, that she cursed under her breath on the way up.

All self-control had evaporated when she crossed the elevator threshold and stormed straight into Vanessa's waiting area, making a beeline for the double doors.

Without extending so much as a 'good morning' to Vanessa's secretary, she demanded, "Where is she?"

"She's here Kate, but—"

Hearing all she needed, she pushed open the double doors. Behind, she heard, "Don't go in there!"

She saw Vanessa sitting at her desk with two Frugeré company men sitting opposite. They didn't register in her world.

Vanessa's eyes widened in disbelief. "Kate? I didn't ask you here."

Her groundswell of rage had Vanessa in its crosshairs. Marching up to Vanessa's desk, she shouted, "How could you do that to him?"

She leaned over the desk and was inches from Vanessa's face. "Break it off! That's what you said! I fucking hate you!" She stretched across the desk as both hands grasped Vanessa's neck and squeezed. The two men quickly grabbed Kate, holding her back.

One of the men said, "Get her off!" Pulling back her fingers, they separated the two women.

Arms flailing and tears of frustration running down her cheeks, Kate continued. "Let me go!"

Her temper reached its crescendo. She was a living, breathing tempest that even two able-bodied men couldn't handle. Gunther, whom the secretary had summoned, ran in to help restrain her. With an ugly grunt, he pulled her backward with such force that she lost her balance and fell to the salmon pink carpeted floor.

"Are you all right?" Gunther asked of Vanessa, straightening his jacket.

Kate looked through her own blurry eyes at Vanessa rubbing her throat, breathless and coughing. When Vanessa reassumed her composure, she calmly stood, straightened her blouse and hovered over the pathetic creature. Finally, she spoke. "Gentlemen, I'm sorry you had to see this, really I am."

Gunther asked, "Would you like me to escort her out of the building?"

Oh, you'd so like that, wouldn't you!

"No," Vanessa answered him, then addressed her company. "Forgive me, gentlemen. Please step outside. We need a moment."

She felt the rage evaporate into depression. The high was over and she crashed, curling on the floor in an almost fetal position, writhing through sobs.

As the door shut, Vanessa stepped closer, hovering over Kate, and said, "Get up! Now!" Her trumpet-like voice reverted to the Brooklyn accent that reappeared during periods of strong emotion.

Vanessa hoisted her up by the armpits with the force of a backhoe and dropped her in one of the chairs in front of the desk. She then slapped Kate across the face.

Kate pleaded, "No. He can't be dead."

"You're all doped up again, aren't you?"

"No, I..."

"Don't lie to me!" Vanessa slapped her again, so hard this time, Kate nearly fell off the chair. She knelt down on the carpet, glaring into Kate's eyes, hands firmly on her shoulders, pinning them against the chair. "Look at yourself. I'll be damned if I'm going to let you screw this whole thing up. My reputation is on the line and you're a...pitiful mess." Vanessa released her hold momentarily.

"It was the toxin, wasn't it?" Kate mumbled, fighting back tears.

Vanessa ignored her.

"I know you're lying," she continued in full voice. "The test vial was missing."

Vanessa exhaled heavily. "Dear, no one said that Jared was poisoned, so I don't know where this is coming from."

Kate wasn't mollified in the least. "You used the vial to put some toxin inside that box."

Vanessa's silence told Kate all she needed to know. "You had no right!"

"I have as much right to those vials as you have. More, in fact."

"But that's not what we agreed!" Kate shouted.

"Agreed?" Vanessa moved slowly toward her again. "I'll tell you what we agreed. We agreed that you were to do as you're told. That's what we agreed. You'd better learn how to control yourself, or you'll be no use to me or anyone else."

"I don't want to be a part of this anymore!" she proclaimed, then coughed out sputum, the stinging bile creeping up into her throat.

Vanessa reestablished her shoulder hold. After a teeth gnashing, she said, "Now you listen to me and repeat." Vanessa's eyes narrowed on her, as she tried to catch her breath under the pressure of Vanessa's shoulder holds. "I, Katelyn Carrie, promise to follow Vanessa Carrie's instructions to the letter."

Kate could only shake her head, trying to break her gaze.

"Say it!" Vanessa shook her with violent ferocity.

When she could breathe again, Kate said, "I, Katelyn Carrie, promise to follow Vanessa Carrie's instructions."

"To maintain composure at all times."

"To maintain composure at all times."

"And to respect Vanessa Carrie, my sole savior, so help me God."

"And to respect Vanessa Carrie, my sole savior, so help me God."

Then Vanessa, true to form, let her go and stepped back to grab a cigarette, lit it, took in a puff and stared lovingly at her. Those hardened eyes gave way to a soft and rounded motherly gentleness. She brought her voice down. "I just don't know what to do with you anymore. You make me look bad when you act like this. You can't imagine how much you've hurt me right now. I'm so disappointed in you."

Kate regained some composure and rose from her chair as Vanessa moved to embrace her. She shook her head in disbelief and pushed Vanessa away. "You know what? I can't take this anymore! I really can't. Up to now I have done everything you've wanted. No questions asked, but this..." Her fist clenched by her side. "I'm sorry, I can't. I won't! I'm tired of smiling for you, laughing for you in front of people,"—killing for you!—"pretending that everything is all just so lovely, when clearly, it's not! Until now, I'd never given a shit about how many could die from my Tri-Meth and yeah, it's mine. But now, I'm starting to think about it, a lot. I just don't want this on my head anymore. I just want to go home," she concluded ruefully.

Vanessa regarded her. "Well, we can't put the genie back in the bottle, now, can we? It's out there and nothing can change that. Two more weeks. That's all I ask. So please, dear, finish mixing the last of the vials today, then, you're free to take some time off. Can you do that for me, my golden girl?" Vanessa's endearing sweetness was hypnotic.

God damn her!

"Don't call me that anymore," she protested, but the ensuing silence broke her, retreating to obstinate acquiescence. "Fine, I'll finish up, go home and come to your meeting."

"Our meeting, dear."

"What-evs," Kate said with her face crinkled up in a bitter lemon look. Then she turned around and marched out.

She rode the elevator down to the lab one last time, barely controlling intermittent sobs. She wouldn't have to imagine as the others stared at her pitiful dishevelment, the sound of chuckling and muttered quips of 'lemonhead' trailing behind her as she returned to the lab. She spent the afternoon completing the last vial, finding it difficult to work and control her anger. Yet she was able to do it; quite the high functioning addict. The fact that she put in all of the research drove her to prevent relinquishing any of it.

Kate kicked off her flats for Uggs, then went to work.

She conducted the distillation procedure. Next, she carefully poured the contents of a tiny amount of the liquid into each vial, which had two compartments separated by a rubber seal. She then sealed the vial, upended it, then reached over and gently opened a container of white powder, the consistency of confectioner's sugar, although this substance was far from edible. Her powder reduced the time it took to reach the bloodstream from what was normally minutes to a few seconds. She proceeded to fill the other end of the vial with the powdery substance. The seal prevented the two chemical compounds from combining, but once broken, the toxin would turn deadly active, the liquid causing the powder to vaporize and disperse, killing any living thing that happened to come in contact with it, either by breathing it in or touching it; a gaseous cloud of death.

Before she left for the day, her anger towards Vanessa only intensified. I have to take things into my own hands, she thought.

She knew Vanessa wanted the chemical compound and would pay dearly for it when the time came. But why not go all the way and control the inventory as well? Trust between them was at an all-time low, she so wanted to control something in her life. So in one spontaneous act, she stuffed the vial case into her purse, not knowing that by doing that, everything was about to change. It didn't fit all the way in, but she didn't care.

On her way out, she stopped in the ladies room. Repulsed at the thought of seeing her reflection in the mirror these days, she sauntered straight into a stall, closed the door, dropped to kneel over the porcelain goddess and wretched into the bowl. Voided, she pulled herself up off the tiled floor, sat on the toilet and gave herself another hit.

Then Kate left the building, hoping she'd never return.

Was this creepy to you, or what? A blow up has occurred. I wanted to express the rage in the room and the first plot twist in the story. You will see this sets up all sorts of problems later on.

Copyright © 2016 by Alan Field. All Rights Reserved.  

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