song inspo:

good thing - zedd with kehlani

maniac - conan gray

break my heart - dua lipa

before you go - lewis capaldi

transatlanticism - death cab for cutie

chapter 29

The rest of the week went by like nothing. And Ray continuously skipped final period. This time however, she was excused. Doctors appointments or whatever which were most likely excuses.

At this point, Adams just didn't care anymore. Apparently she had completed her credits long ago and graduation was coming up in just a few short weeks.

I gave her space.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely hated it. But everything that's happened to her, was because of me. And I knew that. I was always aware of that but... I never really knew the extent of it. I never realized what Ray had to go through when I started that stupid rumor.

I sat back on my car, twiddling my thumbs and giving my phone brief glances between looking down and up in front of me.

When I look up, I stare at the once bright red door that has now either faded or repainted into a mahogany brown. The frame looking weaker than I once remembered it. The concrete leading a pathway towards the door now scattered with dirt stains.

Then looking at the house beside hers, mine. My old one, at least. It sat on a dead end, and I can clearly look over the large front yard we once played in as kids. I can still see the little girl in pigtails wearing her favorite Strawberry Shortcake tee beneath her loose overalls and light up sneakers. The pink glittery butterfly clips placed neatly on top of each pigtail as she ran across the yard alongside me and harshly shoving me as we played tag.

That or we were playing house in the so-called garden area my mom was trying her best to maintain. But it was difficult when me and Ray were always using Tupperware that we weren't allowed to as a plate to mix water, dirt and leaves as some sort of special ingredient. Thankfully, as dumb as that was, we weren't dumb enough to eat it.

Instead, what pissed my mom off the most was seeing the muddy residue splattered across the floor instead of the actual dirt it belonged in. And if it wasn't on the floor it was all over us.

I smile softly to myself, glancing down at my phone yet again at the memories once held just next door to her house when a movement catches my attention.

Looking out my window, I see the dark brown haired girl walking down the block and towards her home. Phone in hand and staring down as she scrolled through it with headphones in, not noticing my presence; despite me being in my car. I glance at the time, not even three yet. It's clear she skipped class again.

I start to get a little nervous, but I knew I'd have to talk to her before she reached the door. So I swallowed my pride and pushed open my car door and stepped out. Her eyes immediately averting up and meeting mine.

Her arms drop at her sides as she looks at me, petrified. I bite my lip, my nerves bundling up. Why am I suddenly so anxious? I notice a little twitch at her lips as she shakes her head. She's not happy to see me, as expected. But I couldn't care less.

"Ray-"

"What are you doing here?" She says to me, eyes becoming glossy. "Why are you here? What-"

"Reagan, I need to talk to you-"

"About what?" She looks at me with sad eyes, "I said what I said, I don't want anything to do with you."

"I know that," I tell her, and her lips part to speak again but I don't let her. "Ray, please. Hear me out. I came here to talk to you. And as stubborn as you are, I wouldn't be here if I didn't care."

Her lips are tucked in as a tear begins to fall, but to my surprise, she nods.

"Ray, I am so sorry. For everything," I apologize, finding it difficult as she slowly starts to cry, failing on holding back her tears as they flowed freely down her flushed cheeks. "Mikaela's a bitch. I was never in any sort of physical relationship with her. At least, not in the way I was with you."

Ray rolls her eyes, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I don't care about Mikaela. Whatever you guys did, it's the last thing on my mind."

I'm a little surprised to say the least. Perplexed even, for a second, though. Of course. Why would she? That's not even the main reason she's hurting.

"I know, or I mean, I didn't. I-" I stammer for a moment. I stood up to my class defending her yet for some reason I could hardly sputter a word out.

"So what are you sorry for, then?" She asks, and I knew what she meant by that. Just by the look in her eyes, I knew exactly what she wanted me to say. "I know why you're here, and I know why you feel the need to say sorry. But you have to tell me exactly what it is you're apologizing for because honestly, Harry, you've done too many things that hurt me to count at this point."

My heart sank. She wasn't wrong.

"Reagan, I- I just..."

"Harry, if you don't know what you're apologizing for, then you shouldn't even be here," She tells me softly, the look in her brown eyes are sad but promising.

She doesn't look annoyed or angry. Disappointed? Possibly. But sad. Definitely sad. Just not with me. At least not in the way she should be. And it scared me, because the look in her eyes showed clearly that she had given up on me and everything to do with me.

Why? Why did that crush me so hard? Knowing that she was ready to cut me out of her life for good? Not that I didn't deserve it, given how I ruined her life at one point. Even now.

I hadn't even realized I started crying until I touched my face, feeling the wetness against my fingertips.

"I'm sorry, Ray," I choke, "I- I fucked up. I know that now."

"It's too late for that now, Harry," She sniffles but I don't say anything in response. "Look, I appreciate you coming all this way to try and fix this, really, I do. But what's done is done. I'm not mad at you for what happened. I mean, I am. But looking at you..." Tears fill her eyes again, "I can't do that to myself. I can't torture myself the way I did before-"

"I didn't notice before. Okay?" I tell her in urgency, stepping close to her. "I lied. I fucked up. I'm sorry."

"I know," She nods, refusing to look up at me, staring down at her feet. "But I don't know if I can ever look at you without seeing that the same guy who was once my best friend, put me through this... twice. I'm sorry. But I can't do it anymore."

"Reagan," I inch closer but she steps back this time, "Reagan, please. You can't- You can't just avoid me forever."

"But I can," She says firmly. "I'm leaving, Harry."

"Wha- What do you mean?" I panic for a moment.

She clears her throat, wiping away at the tears that were now staining her cheeks. "Nothing. I have to go." Ray takes long quick strides to get door, I quickly begin to reach her.

"Wait, Ray-"

"Goodbye Harry," She says before closing the door on me. Possibly for good.

+

this took longer than anticipated & I'll tell you why rn. I knew where I was going with this chapter, I just didn't know how to get to it !!!! firstly, instead of pulling a BBF, I made Harry put effort into talking to her. & then I was stuck with how he would find out about her leaving. originally I was gonna have ray just tell him herself & bc fuck it ya know? but then I decided to change that aaaand... you'll see what happens next chapter.

it's the last one & im going to try my HARDEST to make it count. I'll try not to take long.

hope this one was good. it was shorter than I expected bc as stated before it was gonna end differently. hope it was with it.

I love you all !!!!!

- ky

ps: there will most likely be an epilogue. NO I am not making a sequel. I love this story more than anything but the way I end Ray & Harry's story is how I'm choosing to do it. tbh I kinda regret making a sequel for bbf bc I kinda hate it but I'm not gonna discontinue it since most of you are already hooked. that & I wanna write the other books in my drafts that have been sitting on a virtual shelf collecting dust for nearly 5 years !!!! if you've seen my tiktok vids, you'll know what I'm talking about. ily ily ily bye