chapter 16

"Ray," I keep walking, ignoring him. I didn't ignore him because I was pissed or anything. I just didn't feel like talking to him. I was tired, I felt mentally & physically exhausted. "Ray, wait up!"

I sigh, yawning as I turn & face him just outside our cabin. "Yes, Harry?" I look at him with droopy eyes.

"What's beating you?" He says with concerned eyes, "I said I was sorry."

Oh, but he did. Harry apologised a few times the whole way back; and though I continued to tell him it was fine, he kept accusing me of being angry. But I wasn't angry. Which was weird. Quite frankly, I felt drained.

From the second Mr. Adams gave us our grade, that being a fat F, I felt myself drain completely. It just flattened my mood to the point where I felt being alone and curled up in a ball in my bed until I fell into a deep slumber would put me in a better mood when I woke up.

But I couldn't. Despite not having my own bed with me, I couldn't because Harry was my roommate and quite frankly very consistent on figuring out why I was "so angry." When I really wasn't..

"I know, and I said it's fine."

"But you're mad," Harry argued back.

"I'm not mad, Harry. But the more you keep accusing me of being mad, I will eventually become so."

"So you're getting mad?" He asked, which only caused me to groan in annoyance, rolling my eyes and entering the cabin in silence.

I just wanted to sleep, honestly.

"Is this because we slept together?" He asked after closing the door behind him.

"Technically, we didn't sleep together," I state matter-of-factly, trying to change the subject.

"We could have, if you didn't go up my bunk."

"You were in my bed, Harry."

"You could have told me to move-"

"I shouldn't have to, it was my bunk," I try to laugh, though I wasn't amused. I was just getting tired and I knew if I didn't shed some light to this discussion, it would've ended up turning into an argument which was the absolute last thing I wanted. "But all in all, no. I'm not mad, and even if I were, I doubt it'd have anything to do with us having sex."

"Why's that?"

"Because there's nothing to be mad at about the sex, jeez, Harry. Why are you so concerned?" I let out a laugh again, though this time growing agitated.

"It's not that I'm concerned, Ray, you just have bitch face written all over you," He pointed out, sitting on my bunk as I lean against the dresser facing him, "It's kinda hard not to ask if you're mad at me."

"Why should it matter? You never seemed to care back then," I tell him honestly. And in truth? It felt a little tinge of pain in my heart saying so. Because he didn't.

"It's not that I care, Ray, we agreed to get along during this trip."

"And you're right. Yes, we did agree. But I'm telling you, Harry, I'm not mad. So please, quit asking. I am fine. I'm bummed we failed the first assignment, but.. I'm fine."

"That's what this is about? You're mad about a stupid grade?" He asks with a grumpy look on his face, standing up.

I groan, irritated. "I'm bummed, not mad. There's a difference."

"Ray, it's just a grade-"

"It's Reagan, and it's not just about the grade, Harry. Look, it doesn't matter. Really, it doesn't, so can we please just drop it?" I ask, growing frustrated.

"But if it doesn't matter-"

"Harry!" I yell, startling him with my outburst. And though it was unintentional, I needed to get him out of his concerned funk somehow. "I'm fine. Okay? I'm tired. Yes, I'm bummed about our grade but I'm not angry. I'm just tired. I really just wanna curl up in my bed and nap until the dinner bell. That's it. I promise."

Harry frowns, dropping his head and sighing. "All right. I'm- I'm sorry, Ray. Really."

And then, I felt a smack of nostalgia hit me. Normally, I'd have teased him for apologising. But that's not who we are anymore.

Harry was always one to tease me, poke fun and so on when we were younger; though he never took it as far as he does so now that we're older and no longer friends.

Harry and I ran. We ran as fast as we could on the large open space of concrete that took up majority of the front of the house he once lived in when we were just neighbours.

It was a daily thing. I'd go to his house after school, on weekends even, and we'd spend hours playing pretend, playing tag and making a mess of ourselves covered in dirt whenever we ran across the so-called garden area.

Only it was no garden. It was literally a pile of dirt; which explained why I always came home a mess, facing a very stern, angry mother. Especially when I came home to scraped knees and bloody elbows.

However, one time I had fallen and scraped my knee so bad, you could nearly see the bone as the blood streamed down my small legs, reaching the hem of my sock that reached my ankles, sticking high up out of my light up sneakers.

Only, it wasn't my usual "I tripped over a rock" fall. Harry had unintentionally tripped me. And when he saw me fall, landing harshly on my hands and knees as the gravel cut through the skin, he panicked. He panicked more than I did. He broke down in endless tears before I did.

I only looked at him as the blood gushed out. I looked at him blankly. Despite the tears of pain streaming down my face, I still managed to laugh as he apologised on and on.

This wasn't the first time Harry tripped me. In fact, we usually tripped each other. It wasn't on purpose, though. We had a thing about bumping into each other as we ran that made us fall, which was another reason why we always came home with scrapes, blood stains, and bruises.

And each time he apologised, I'd brush it off and say it was no big deal. However, that day, when he apologised non-stop, I laughed and teased him about crying for me.

"Why are you crying?" I laughed loudly through my dry stained tears, "I'm the one bleeding, Harry."

"I- I-" He hiccuped, "I tripped you, Ray. I'm so- I'm sorry, Ray. Really. Please- Ray, please don't tell my mom."

I laughed again, "Of course, I won't tell. It's not like you did this on purpose."

"But I'll get in trouble if they find out I did this to you!" He sobbed.

"No you won't," I shook my head, pointing over to the dirt piled garden, "I'll just tell them I tripped over that stepping stone over there."

"Really?"

"Of course," I smile, wiping away the blood on my legs and smearing it onto my dark boot cut jeans. "You're my best friend, Harry. I'd never let anything happen to you."

Harry then finally smiled, kneeled down next to me as he hugged his knees, grinning from ear to ear as his eyes shined a bright green. Curls falling down at his eyes as they crinkle the wider he smiled.

"You're my best friend, too, Ray."

"I better be," I laugh, giving him a playful shove and making him laugh, as well.

"You are!" He shouts with a wide smile, dimples out in full display.

"Promise?"

Harry smiled, holding out his pinky towards me and watching as I curled mine around his.

"Promise."

I shake away the memory. The memory I still can't believe happened at one point in our lives. A memory no one would ever believe if I told them. A memory not even Mikaela knew, and I doubt he ever told nor planned on telling Jake.

I look at Harry, seeing him lift his head and eyes meeting mine as if waiting for a response.

But I only nod, my heart hurting over the memory I low key wish I could relive. But I just turn towards my reflection, looking down at my hands with a frown as I say, "It's fine. Just- ...Just forget it."

+

note: the italics will be flashbacks.

I decided on adding flashbacks here & there bc it wouldn't make sense if I just went on about harry & ray's hatred for each other without explaining exactly what happened that caused their relationship to turn out this way. I also changed the age they met. It used to be fourteen but I thought it'd be better if they were toddlers.

hope you guys enjoyed this one. I purposely made harry super adorable as a child so enjoy the cuteness bc I sure did.

- ky