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TWENTY-SEVEN


BEFORE, WHEN my mom wasn't so cold, she would tell me these stories about her childhood. I don't remember much of them because I was pretty young when she told me, but I do remember one specific. While she was pregnant with me, her and my dad moved into a neighborhood that had homes with huge backyards and one of the neighbors had this butterfly garden. My mom would say that butterflies would flutter outside her office window and stand on the sill all throughout spring and summer.

      She was convinced the child inside her called to the butterflies, so she named me Vanessa.

      Rubbing my hands together and breathing in deeply, I walk out the front door and head in the direction of the small church where Mia will be waiting for me. Yesterday, I had ask her to introduce me to the other kids our age and she told me to meet her in front of the church today when the sun looks to be about setting down.

      I bite the inside of my cheek as I thread down the dirt path and begin to see Mia' silhouette in the distance. I was never the type to get anxious meeting new people, but for whatever reason, this feels different and I have yet to decide if it's a good thing.

      Mia twists a strand of her hair that was framing her face around her finger and uses her other hand to wave at me. Despite still being a fair distance away from her, I offer a faint smile in return as if she could see it and attempt to swallow my anxiety down.

      I stop my fidgeting movements as I watch Mia walk my way, unable to stand still any longer.

      "They're going to be so excited." She eagerly juts as soon as she's standing right in front of me and grabs both of my shoulders. "You look tense, though. Are you okay?"

      I lick my lips and raise my eyebrows to erase any trace of stiffens on my face. "Yeah...yeah." I bite down on the tip my tongue to hold myself from continuing to repeat myself. It's a habit I began to form.

      "You sure?"

      I nod.

      "If you're not ready they can wait, I mean, we have all the time in the world."

      Mia's last words don't help my uneasiness, but I eat the ill feeling down and shake my head. "No, it's fine. I'm fine." I grab her hands and remove them from off my shoulders. "I promise." I squeeze her hands in reassurance and smile.

      She claps her hands a single time and grins widely. "Alright." She nudges her head towards the church and turns around, signaling for me to follow.

      I walk up to her side and notice she wearing a dress I would never think I would ever see her in. Mia is a soft girl and the way she dressed really mirror that, but today, her choice of clothing said otherwise. The dress is tight on her body, reaching just above her knees and exposing her lower back. It's a muted color compared to the vibrants I'm use to seeing Mia in, but it futher compliments her skin color beautifully. In other words, the dress is both broad yet moderate.

      It also looks new.

      "You look nice." Mia tells me, breaking the silence, and I wonder if she saw me staring at her dress.

      I snicker at the compliment. I'm wearing my regular outfit that consist of denim shorts that are an ugly wash, an oversized T-shirt, and sandals. I'm far from looking nice. "I wish, but thanks."

      "I'm serious. You make anything look good, even those shorts that are a horrible wash."

      Slack jawed, I feel the corner of my eyes crinkling and a soft laugh escapes out. "You exactly read my mind."

      "Soul mate things." Mia jokes and bumps her shoulder against mine.

      "You're the one that looks nice. That dress looks pretty." I say.

      Mia smiles with the top row of teeth peeking through and soothes her palms over the front of the dress. "My mom made it for me the other day. I'll tell her to make you one too."

      "What? No, that's okay—" I begin to protest but Mia cuts me off.

      "It's fine, really, my mom doesn't mind at all. She literally adores you."

      She literally adores you.

      I've only smiled and waved at that woman, never even muttered a single word, yet found a way to like me. My friends' parents never came close to liking me, they constantly tried to bring me down to their kids behind closed doors because each set of parents were convinced I had some sort of agenda that my parents were pulling strings from behind. No one liked my parents, and looking back at it now, it really speaks volumes.

      We walk pass the church and stop just beside the school building. The same group of teenagers I saw the other time with Mia are playing volleyball but stop when they feel our presence.

      "Hey, Mia." The girl holding the ball says and smiles. Her hair almost reaches her knees that her small frame makes it seem like she's being swallowed by it, but at the same time it what makes her stand out from the rest. I've never seen hair that long before.

      "Madeenia," Mia starts and then looks over to me. "This is Vanessa. Vanessa, this is Madeenia."

      I take a step forward so that I'm not guarding myself behind Mia's shoulder and offer Madeenia a good-natured smile while giving a small wave. "Hi,"

      She mimics my actions, but more enthusiastic with pronounced dimples in her cheeks and widen eyes. "Finally we get to meet you. We were starting to think Mia was hoarding you all to herself."

      "Ha, ha, very funny." Mia butts in and gives the side of Madeenia's head a soft wack.

      I lowly laugh at the interaction, discreetly fidgeting with my fingers, and Mia continues, "Anyways, that's Reggie. She points to spindly boy with a blue baseball cap. "And beside him is Damian, Mykel, and Dev."

      I barely lift my arm to wave and smile, "Hi," I say again.

      They say 'hi' back in unison and their faces lighten as they beam almost ear to ear. They look so innocent. Everyone here does, and it makes me feel slightly bad for speaking endless crap about the island.

      "Yeah, sorry I haven't introduced myself earlier," I start to say as the anxiety that was burying into the bottom of my stomach begins to leave. "I'm still, uh, getting use to being here."

      Madeenia tilts her head sideways and grins slightly small while dropping the volleyball to the ground. "No worries, that's completely understandable."

      "We've all just been super excited to, you know, actually meet you." The other girl, Dev, adds on to which they nod in agreement. "You can tell we don't new faces often."

      Reggie snorts, "Duh Dev, we're in the middle of nowhere. I think she can see that."

      "Ass."

      The boy with light penny hair supports his arms on Reggie's shoulder and leans in. "Do you guys in States really have fast food places on every corner?"

      I laugh a bit at his question. "Huh?"

      Reggie gives the boy a funny look. "What gives, Mykel?"

      "What?" Mykel shrugs his shoulders and looks between us all. "Last year, I saw a picture in one of textbooks and there was fast food restaurants everywhere. The caption even said it."

      Reggie continues to look at him funny, but Mykel ignores him and looks at me instead, waiting for an answer.

      "I mean, they're not in every corner, but there is a ton." I tuck my hair behind my ears and halt fidgeting with my fingers. "Awhile ago, I did learn that we eat the most fast food in the world so there's that.

      "Amazing." Mykel brings his hands to his head and gestures that he's mind blown.

      Reggie pushes him off his shoulder and shakes his head. "What's with food and you?" He asks to which Mykel merely whispers 'God's gift'.

      "Anyways," Madeenia cuts in and side eyes Mykel." Do you guys want to play with us?"

      Mia and I look at each other. "Yeah." I answer right away.



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      We played until the sun began to set because the group, mostly the girls, had chores waiting for them at home. I noticed they're vastly different than Mia, which explains why it doesn't seem like she's close to anyone here. Dev and Madeenia have similar personalities, but it's obvious Dev looks up to Madeenia in a way and takes influence from her. Their relationship reminds me a lot of mines with Avery expect we didn't look up to one other, we just acted like one other from time to time.

      For the entirety of the day, I kept getting whips of nostalgia.

      I pull a flowy dress over my head and soothe out the bottom of it with my palms. Mia gave me it before I left, she said it's something I can wear in the meantime while her mom makes me a new one. The small gesture made me feel warm...something I haven't felt in awhile. I have never met someone so selfless than Mia.

      Wearing something other than baggy clothing, I'm starting to feel more like myself again which almost feels forbid and guilty for me to feel.

      I walk over to the bed and reach underneath the pillow for my notebook. I open to the page that the pencil is wedge in between of and cross off yesterday's day.

      Almost there.

       I tuck the notebook back in it's place and walk out of the room and into the living to find Sebastian hunched over by the front door. My sound of my steps catch his attention and he looks over his shoulder.

      "Hi," He says.

      I don't respond, but that doesn't bother him since he continues talking.

      "Did you have a good time?"

       I want to remain quiet, but if I do, he will just keep talking and not leave me alone so I nod in response and cross my arms over the front of the dress, hoping he won't say anything about it.

      "See, I told you." Sebastian straightens himself and pulls his hands behind his back. "Anyways, I have something for you."

      "I don't want it." I speak fast and cross my arms tighter, gritting my teeth together.

      Disregarding me, he slowly takes his hand out from behind and takes a couple steps towards me. He holds a chocolate cupcake up to my face in one hand and in the other is a single pink candle.

      "W...What are you doing?"

      "It's a cupcake."

      "What?" I look back and forth between the cupcake and Sebastian.

      "Remember when you were a kid you didn't want your parents to forget your birthday, so the three months leading up to it you had them buy you cupcakes on every first of those months so you could put candles on them and blow it out like a birthday cake."

      Sebastian's words unbury a deep memory I had long forgotten about and the nostalgia from earlier hits me all over again. Breathing deeply, I try to calm the storm of emotions passing through me as I stare at a rapt, bright eyed Sebastian. The smile on his face makes my stomach weak...and fuzzy.

      "You were there?" I ask, even though the answer is obvious. I just can't believe he remembers all this when I barely even can.

       His front teeth slip through his smile, "Of course."

      Sebastian plops the candle in the middle of the cupcake and takes out a lighter from his pocket. He lights up the small candle and bring the cupcake closer to my face.

      "Make a wish, Vane."

       My eyes flicker back and forth between him and the fire. There's a short pause, and everything seems to move in slow motion expect for the emotions streaming inside me.

      I push my hair behind my shoulders and faintly bend forward. Pressing my lips together, I close my eyes and blow out the candle, and for a mere second I imagine myself eight again, sitting on the edge of the dinning room table blowing out twenty-four candles individually from each chocolate cupcake. I can almost hear my dad clapping his hands in the background before it all goes away.

      I open my eyes and pace back. I look up at Sebastian, his eyes look like moonlight under the gleam of the rising crescent moon, and I smile at him.



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