FIFTEEN

IT'S SOMETIME late in the afternoon, when I wake up. Earlier, when the sun was barely rising, Sebastian tried to get me to come out and eat breakfast with him but I ignored him. After realizing that it was no use on forcing me to get out of bed, he decided to leave me alone and work on something outside-probably the generator that failed us last night.

I slip my legs out of the dainty sheets and turn to lay on my side so that I'm looking out the compact window. The island is glowing with a garnet tint as the fleeting colors of dusk begin to cover the sky, looking as if a storm never occurred. For a brief moment, I think it's beautiful, but the feeling is short lived as I grow jealous of the grey clouds that were able to leave this place.

With a long sigh, I toss my body over to the other side so that I'm staring at the wooden wall instead. I look at the lines of the wood for a hard minute, before closing my eyes and trying to picture my parents. Anything to get this place out of my head for just a second.

I dreamt about about my parents last night. In my dream, my mom was caressing my hair as she tried to wake me up for school. Her voice was honeyed as she whispered something to me that was inaudible. I woke up in my bed, back in my room, and my dad was there too. He stood at the door with a tray of food and gave me an endearing smile once he saw me awake. I felt my mom run a thumb over my knuckles and came closer to me, stilly saying that it was going to be okay.

That tender moment only lasted some bittersweet seconds when the dream shifted in the opposite direction. Next thing, my mom and I were arguing about me not showing up at my dad's art gallery. She kept on saying I wasn't grateful for all they did for me and that I should stop making everything about me and at least show some support to my dad. It was a dream of her scorning me over and over on a loop. I could vividly see the clothes she was wearing and the color of her hair, but her face was fogged. I couldn't even see the shade of her lipstick.

Then, my parents faded away and so did home.

The dream was odd because I always went to my dad's galleries. Although I felt uncomfortable at them, I never missed one. My mom had this habit to act weird around me once I would get there. She would be so standoffish and, what seemed like avoidance, kept a fair amount of distance away from me as she would either walk the opposite way from me. My dad noticed her actions but never bother to comment on it, so I didn't think much of it.

With a soft snivel, I rub my eyes with the back of my hands and sit up. My legs dangle over the edge as I try to find the energy to get out of bed. I grab a fistful of my hair and begin to pull it up into a ponytail, tying it with the same rubber band I've been holding onto. I finally stand up and walk over the cleanish pile of clothes that sits on the floor at the corner of the room. I hunch over it and grab the first shirt on top, putting over the thin tank top I have on.

I tug my leggings up and roughly pull the hem of the T-shirt down so that it covers enough while sauntering towards the door. The bolts of the door creak a high pitch echo down the hallway as I open it and walk to the living room.

I don't find Sebastian there. The living room area is back to looking bare and spotless, for what crowded it yesterday is gone. All the paint, brushes, and boxes put away. And the stains that were on the floor nonexistent, not even a smudge left.

I look over to the kitchen area and spot a plate set on the table along with a cup and a carton of juice. I walk to the chair where the silverware is placed in front of and look down at the flat plate to see that Sebastian had made french toast.

I pull the chair back and sit down, immediately reaching for the fork set beside the cup. I poke at the somewhat gooey piece of bread and move it around the plate, before I cut a small chunk and bring it into my mouth. The toast tastes a bit too eggy for my liking, but I still swallow it. I chop a couple of more pieces and quickly shove them into my mouth.

As I'm chewing on the last bit, I hear the door behind me open and the floor creak. I deliberately twist my head and see Sebastian taking off his leather working boots. My eyes linger on his shoes as he places them next to the door and pats down his jeans.

Kicking someone in the head with those boots could knock them out.

I look away and finally swallow down the chunk I've been gnawing on. I stand up from the table and starting collecting my dishes. I put the plate and the fork in the bucket where the dirty dishes go and put the unused cup back into the cabinet. I reach for the carton of apple juice and screw off the cap as I go over to the counter. I lean against it while flickering my eyes back onto Sebastian, but he's already looking with eyebrows slightly dent downward.

I bring the juice to my lips and drink it straight out of the carton. Sebastian's lips part and his eyes taper at me as he tilts his head.

"You don't like apple juice," I say as I wipe my mouth with my hand.

His brows raise a bit before he hums in response and nods his head. I look down and shake the box of juice around. I do this I few times until I see a glimpse of Sebastian's figure getting closer to me through the corner of my eye. I stop my fidgeting and push myself off the counter, but instantly feel the weight of Sebastian's hand on the juice.

My ears throb in sync with my heartbeat as I keep my eyes down. Sebastian grabs the juice out of my hands and places it on the counter.

"C'mon," He says, his voice too close for me to feel comfortable.

I shift my feet a little over to the left and lift my look up to the door, making sure to avoid looking at him. "No,"

"I want to show you something."

I look at him and slowly take another small step back. "No."

Sebastian's shoulders lift as he shakes his head. He then reaches out for me but I jerk back before he can. "I'm not going to do anything. What I want to show you is outside."

I harshly press my lips together and hide my hands behind me as I walk back into the wall behind me. His eyes soften from the narrow look they held before and he submissively holds his arms out, attempting to allay my worry.

"Please," Sebastian implores. "Just let me show you and I'll leave you alone."

I clench the back of the waistband of the leggings and chew on the inside of my cheek. His searches my face for something but I don't let myself show much. "Okay," I breathe.

The muscles in Sebastian's face soothe as he brings his arms down to his sides and the corner of his lips slightly lift. My straight mouth curls downward and I ball more of the fabric of the legging in my hand.

He keenly stares at me for a second before he turns his back against me and head towards the door. He looks over his shoulder and signals for me to follow him with his head. I let go of the leggings and plod behind him, and watch how he takes off his socks and throws them at the couch. I don't bother putting on my shoes either.

I follow him through an unfamiliar path. Although the island is small, there's always uncovered parts to it. To me there is. This path doesn't have dirt over it, just torrid sand that is making me regret not wearing my sandals. Sebastian seems unbothered by it as he walks calmly without taking another glance at me.

We walk until we reach the shoreline. There's no shells or rocks on this part of the shore, it's a blanket of an immaculate white powder. Sebastian halts and stands still as I catch up behind him. I stand a few inches behind him and look at whatever he's staring at.

"Look up," And I do. Up in the carmine sky, I see flock of birds soaring over us as if they ruled this piece of land. They individually are small creatures, but together they transform themselves into something big. Today, they're the rulers of the sundown sky.

With raised brows, I part my lips as I watch the birds and glance down at Sebastian. He feels me looking and turns around to me. "They're seabirds. The island is home to the rare ones." He explains. "They fill up the sky like this after a storm."

I stay quiet as Sebastian turns away and bends down to cuff his jeans, and sits down on the sand. He peers back to me and flickers his eyes to the empty spot next to him before he goes back to gazing at the sky. I stand in place for a fasting minute before walking, warily, and sit down a foot in front of him.

I place a hand out and curl my fingers into the sand. I take my hand out and dust it off on the bottom of my shirt. With a suspire, I lay down and eye the birds enclosing us. They have the opportunity to leave this place, but they choose not to. They go for a moment but always find their way back here.

"How long?" I finally say.

"I already told you."

I curl my toes at his response, some part of me hoping he had changed his mind. "What if I don't want that?"

I can feel Sebastian now looking at the side of my face. I dig a finger into the sand and let it sit there as I continue looking up. "Just trust that it's all for the best." He replies, his voice jaded and low.

"I don't trust you." I whisper as I plow my finger deeper into the shore. Swallow me, please, just take me. I beg the land underneath me.

"I know."

Not wanting to feel Sebastian's stare anymore, I twist my head so that I'm looking at the ocean. The light from the setting sun distributes itself over the water, creating an illuminated path to quiver down the placid waves. The waves rise and the path disappears, and then they come down and it's there again, inviting me to take a step in.

"Why this island?" I say, soft, that at first I thought I didn't say anything at all.

"This place is beautiful and you're...beautiful." Sebastian scuffles to finish his sentence. "Separately beautiful, but it all fits."

I close my eyes and shake my head. I shake it until tears brim the edge of my eyes, not wanting to see him anymore. It doesn't fit. It's all wrong.

"Leave,"

"Vanessa," He begins to say, but I cut him off before anything more can come out of him.

I open my eyes and look at him through a sheen vision. "You said you would leave me alone."

And Sebastian gets up without another word being said and goes, leaving me to lay on the shore to the rest of the sunset.

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