I became aware of my consciousness suddenly, and all at once.

The first thing I focused on was the dull and aching pain in my head. It was a foreign pain, but though it was foreign, I knew what it was. I had seen my mother hung-over many times before. She usually didn't stay hungover for long, though. She always took a hit of something to take the pain away.

My still-closed eyes flinched as I began to move, the dull pain becoming a throbbing one instead. I released a groan, frustrated with myself for inflicting my own torture.

And then, without any warning, the loud sounds ringing in my ears reminded me that I didn't have a clue where I was. Panic pushed through me, prompting my eyes to open dramatically.

The bright lights stunned me, making me wince as I forced my body to heave off the thing I was laying on. I looked down — I guess it was a couch. There was a blanket tossed to the side, and a pillow thrown on the ground.

I felt a frown on my face as I moved my eyes, intent on finding clues that would tell me where the hell I was. But only shortly was I able to collect any details— the same kind of posh interior that Daisy's house consisted of, before I realized I wasn't alone.

I chewed my lip as I observed the boy before me. He was a boy, but I couldn't quite pinpoint his age. He was dressed in Spider-Man pyjamas, sitting on his knees on the floor in front of a giant TV. He wasn't focused on me at all. He was too busy with the remote in his hand. He was expertly navigating the time bar of a Disney movie, playing the same thirty seconds of the film before rewinding and watching it again.

I didn't say anything quite yet, I just watched him further. He was completely focused on what he was doing. He was rocking back and forth, and his hands were moving in a peculiar way. His mannerisms made him look younger than I would have guessed based on his appearance.

And though I had never met this boy before, I instantly knew who he was. Not only that, I knew where I was now. He was the spitting image of Sterling.

And as I realized that, blurry memories of my night came back to me. I remembered buying alcohol, I remembered meeting Colt. I remembered Sterling coming to the parking lot, and I remembered getting into his car. But after that, it was all blank.

"Hi," I finally said to the boy, wondering why he hadn't yet spoken to me. I didn't have much experience with young kids, being that I had no cousins. But from what I did know, they rarely shut up.

I watched as Sterling's brother heard my voice. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't what happened. He didn't move his head from the direction it was in; pointed directly at the TV, but I could see the way he looked at me from the side of his eyes. Just for a few seconds, maybe two, before he went back to watching TV.

Shy, I guess. Or maybe just rude, like his brother.

"August," I heard Sterling's voice, causing me to jump. Even though I now knew I was in his house, for some reason I still wasn't expecting him.

Sterling was standing at the edge of the living room we seemed to be in. He wasn't looking at me, at all. He looked apprehensive, yet frustrated at the same time.

"August," he said again, when his brother still didn't turn to look at him. He spoke with authority to his brother, but also with love so intense it surprised me. "You're not supposed to be down here."

His brother, August— I guess, finally turned towards him. I watched them interact like I wasn't here at all, like I was hidden by a two way mirror.

August's hand movements increased their pace as he looked at his brother. They were small flapping motions, rhythmic in the air. He frowned at Sterling, before pushing down on the screen of a large iPad I hadn't yet seen.

A robotic voice emitted from the iPad— Movie. August pushed it again so it repeated. Movie.

Sterling nodded, like he instantly understand what this meant. "I know Buddy, but this is my TV. You're supposed to watch the one in your room, or the one in the living room."

August shook his head, but only tiny movements in each direction. He pressed on his iPad again, typing individual letters. VRRRRR.

Sterling, once again, seemed to be able understand what he meant. "Gale is vacuuming?"

August nodded, and he turned back towards the TV, but he continued tapping on his screen. A whole word again this time, pressed multiple times so it repeated. Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?

"Okay buddy, I got it," Sterling said in the same calm and kind voice he had been using. He looked at me, for the first time since he had walked into the room. But he didn't look at my eyes, his gaze was low. "This is Dahlia. She's, um, she's my friend."

Sterling's voice was off on the last part, because we both knew it was a lie.

August took another look at me, this time moving his entire head in my direction. He looked at my face, but he didn't meet my eyes.

Daisy? The robotic voice spoke. It was clear this time, even to me, what it meant. Who's this Dahlia chick and why does she look like Daisy?

"She's Daisy's sister," Sterling explained, and though his voice was kind still, it was kind of defeated.

August nodded again, like this made sense to him. He stood up suddenly, his iPad in one of his hands, and I realized I had vastly under estimated his age. He wasn't six or seven, like I had assumed. He was more like eleven or twelve.

He walked over to Sterling, wrapping his arms around his brother. Sterling hugged August back instantly, patting his hands on his brothers back. August grabbed Sterling's hand, pulling it in the opposite direction of me.

When Sterling didn't budge, as he awkwardly glanced in my direction again, August used his iPads voice again. Lego, it, repeating twice, Lego, Lego.

"I can't play Lego with you right now buddy," he said softly to August, brushing his hand through his brothers hair and pressing a kiss against his temple. "I wish I could, but I can't. I have to go to school."

Sterling's gaze fell on me again, hardening as he finally made eye contact with me. "And I have to drive Dahlia home, wait for her to get ready and take her to school too, since according to Daisy, that's my job now."

And as he scowled at me, I scowled right back at him. Great.

"Daze," August spoke for the first time. His voice sounded different, like an instrument not being played correctly. "Daze, Daze, Daze."

"Yeah, buddy. I'll make sure Daze comes to play Lego's soon, okay?" Sterling smiled at August.

August nodded, and he tapped his iPad again. Daisy's sister play Lego too.

Sterling sighed, shooting a regretful look in my direction. I wasn't sure he was going to answer, so I spoke for myself.

"I'd love to play Legos with you, August," I told him, "I bet you're really good at Lego."

August still didn't look at me, but I saw him nod his head in response. Sterling didn't look happy, however. I wondered why, but then I guess, he couldn't stand me, so he probably didn't want me anywhere near his brother.

"Go back upstairs with Gail," Sterling told August, kissing him yet again on the forehead. August hesitated, turning back to the TV, but Sterling pulled him gently, out of my eyesight. Seconds later, I heard footsteps above me, and Sterling re-entered the room.

"Come on," he said, and he still wasn't looking me in the eye. He gestured with his head, and I knew by the energy he was giving off that it wasn't time to play with his nerves.

Silently, I got off the couch. I walked to where he was gesturing, there was a set of stairs leading upwards, making me realize we were in a basement. I climbed them, feeling Sterling's movements following me.

I tried to not let my eyes wander as he stepped into what he the main room of Sterling's house. It was far larger than Daisy's, which honestly, I didn't even think was possible. Sterling stepped in front of me, leading me to what looked like a foyer and a front door. My shoes were left there, and I wondered how it was possible that I really couldn't remember coming here last night.

Alcohol really was poison, I guess. The problem was that knowledge didn't exactly persuade me to stop ingesting it. In fact, if anything, last night had only motivated me further. It had been as if I ceased to exist, for hours at a time. Like I had simply been a body without awareness. That was great, because if I wasn't aware, I couldn't remember what happened.

"Dahlia?" Sterling said my name, and I realized I had been simply standing there, staring at my shoes.

I quickly pulled them on, not bothering to verbally answer him. I wasn't sure what happened last night that led me here, especially since I remembered Daisy's friends saying none of them had ever been invited over. But I knew that whatever did happen, it changed absolutely nothing between Sterling and I.

Sterling pulled the door open, holding it for me and allowing me to pass first. He turned as he shut it, holding up a key ring that was filled with keys. I noticed the peculiar locks on the door, watching as he locked not two, not three but five different locks.

Sterling didn't talk as we climbed into his car. I didn't either, because I had nothing to say to him. His arm fell on the back of my seat as he reversed out of his long driveway, turning his head so he could look out the back window as he did it.

The closer we got to Daisy's, the more my body ran cold. It was like the energy from what Erik and I did had it's own imprint, and just for the night, I had escaped it. I could feel it now though, like a black hole that I was teetering on the edge of.

When Sterling parked in Daisy's drive way, I quickly went to open the door. He stopped me, however. He placed his hand gently on my arm, but I couldn't help the way I jerked away from him. I didn't want him touching me. I didn't want anyone touching me.

"Dahlia," Sterling sighed, "sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine," I said quickly.

"We need to talk about what happened last night," Sterling said, and his words blew a chill down my spine.

What the hell did he mean by that?

I sat desperately still as I pleaded with my brain to give me my thoughts back, just the ones I needed right now. I didn't... I didn't do the same thing with Sterling that I did with Erik...

Right?

"I don't remember anything from last night," I said blankly, my voice sounding like a robot. I kept my head facing straight, not moving an inch.

"You told me something bad happened to you," Sterling told me, and even though I was relieved, I was still panicked, just for a different reason.

"No," I said quickly, my voice sounding lower than I meant it to. "No, I don't think I said that."

"You have bruises on your neck," Sterling said, and I wondered why his voice sounded like he cared.

My body moved before I meant it to, betraying me. As if on instinct, my hand moved to where bruises from Erik's hands left marks.

"Oh, these are nothing," I told Sterling, and I wanted to believe myself but, for some reason, I felt like I was about to cry.

"They don't look like nothing," Sterling said softly, and I could feel how intently he was staring at me. I couldn't look at him.

"I uh," I scrambled for words. "You don't need to worry about it. I'm fine. I just lived in a shitty part of town before I moved here."

"They happened before you got here?" Sterling asked me, and he sounded very relieved, as if he didn't want to let himself believe the opposite. "Are you sure? They look fresh."

"Yeah I'm sure," I nodded, "don't be silly, what could have happened to me here?"

I tried to laugh. The noise I made sounded like a laugh. I wasn't sure if Sterling bought it.

"Aren't I supposed to be changing?" I continued, when he didn't answer.

"Yeah," he sighed, and I wasn't certain he was going to let me off the hook. "We have to be at school in like, ten minutes."

"Okay," I said, opening the door without being stopped, this time. "You don't have to drive me," I said, as I stepped out. Finally, I met his eye.

Sterling looked at me like he was trying to see through me. Like he knew I was a window covered in frost, and he knew he needed to scrape off the ice to see what was hiding behind.

I couldn't let him.

"Just, hurry up," he sighed, "I'm driving you."

I jogged quickly to the pool house, trying to force oxygen into my body and brain as I did so. My mind was spinning, chaotically busy. Like it was calculating all of the things I had said and done, all of the things that would give away my secret.

The one that no one could ever know. The consequences were too dire. Not just for me, for Daisy too.

After changing into clothes that I knew hid my bruises, and splashing cold water on my face, I slid back into Sterling's car. He didn't speak as he started to drive, and I was thankful. I was expecting more questions.

I could feel his unease, however, and it put me further on edge. It made me feel anxious. Like he was about to drop a bomb that I knew I would need to lay on top of.

I was still, waiting uncomfortably for him to speak again. But when he did, I was surprised by the words he said.

"Severe autism spectrum disorder," Sterling didn't look at me as he spoke, when he finally parked at the school. He answered the unspoken question about August.

I looked at him, and the way he was staring at his hands. I still didn't answer, I just waited for him to continue.

"And I'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself," he said in a dry voice.

I took a breath before I spoke. "Why?"

Sterling glanced at me, and I could see the way his jaw tensed. "I'm not ashamed of him," he told me, defensively saying the words I hadn't said like he meant it. "I'm not ashamed. I just..."

He sighed, and then continued. "People know I have a brother. They think he goes to boarding school. He doesn't, he goes to a private specialized school a couple days a week in the next town. If..." he hesitated. "If people knew, he'd be used as gossip. They'd talk about him like he was entertainment. They'd be nice to my face about it. They'd pity him."

"I'm not ashamed of him," he repeated. "I just need to protect him. So please, keep it to yourself."

AN: any ableist comments will be blocked and deleted just the same as any victim blaming comments. I have a son with autism so please know I mean that sincerely. Please remember that ASD is a spectrum and different for everyone.