Aditi's point of view
Dear Dhruv,
Do you think as much as I think about you. I know we are married but I am still unaware of your feelings. You never said anything clear to me. I know you said that, I always have special place in your heart but I want to know the name of that place.
We flirt all the time, smile, laugh and made out many times but how am I supposed to know, if this is real. I wonder what I look like in your eyes when you look at me with those beautiful eyes of yours. I wish I could just ask you what you think of me. It's like I want you to look at me but I turn my head, every time you do.
The way you teased me in the morning at the breakfast table, holding my hand and teasing my navel without thinking about anyone, made thousands of butterflies flutter in my stomach. You simple acts, the little things you do that makes me so crazily attracted to you.
I childhood when you I used to come at your house and you were present in the hall, lost in your world, I want to talk to you, ask you about the hidden pain in your eyes but then I see you smiling when you were giggling and smiling with Priya and I ask myself that if ever be in that place. I will ever be good enough for you.
Even after we meet again after eight years till now we are married for two weeks, I don't know how hard being around you and not saying all the things, I want you to hear. I am trying my best to act casual but all I can seem to do is get mesmerized in your eyes.
I don't have a fear of loosing you, I had run up to you , kiss you and tell you that I Love you.
Dear heart,
There is this guy who is my husband and you want me to confess my feelings but I don't want to, so can you please stop beating so fast when comes close to me.
I know you like him from a long time but if you don't want to scare him please be calm when he kissed my lips.
"How it is?" The conversation of mine with my heart break when Dhruv out another dress on me and asked the sales girl if it suits me. But my lips were sealed because my eyes were too busy to adore the person I have a secret crush.
I don't care about the dresses he selected for me because the person I yearn to have one glimpse, now is sitting beside me selecting the dresses for me.
He scrunch his nose and give the dress back to the sales girl.
"Show us something else." Sales girl nodded his head and went to pick another dress for me. After our check up he bring me to the shopping to lift up my mood. I felt low after the counselling session with Dr. Gupta but his small gestures win my heart and I could not stop myself adoring him.
Sales girl come with another saree. Dhruv put it on me and again scrunch his nose. Today I came to know that he is bit choosy. He was about to call sales girl when I stopped him
I chuckled sofly and put away the saree he was holding for me.
"We already bought enough dresses for me." I said.
He already bought many suites, saree and jeans-top for me. He is not stopping here, he said he is going to buy some western dresses for me.
He sighed and nodded his head,
It's not any famous brand shop or any famous boutique. We didn't buy anything expensive but all these clothes and dresses are matters to me because Dhruv brought them for me.
He put his right arm on couch around my shoulder and leaned back.
"Do you remember at my school farewell party, you wore Divya's gown..?" He asked and I nodded my head as yes.
"I gifted that to Divya on her birthday. Basically that day you were wearing the dress of my choice." He said while looking in front and then me. He gave me a small smile and I smiled back.
"You were looking beautiful that day." He said while looking at me.
"I was just looking ordinary. It was in your eyes." I said.
"You were never ordinary. I just got late to realise that." He said while looking down.
"We apart from choice but fate bring us together." He raised his head and looked at me when I said that.
"I will never going to leave your hand." He was looking at me with such emotions that his eyes are reciprocating his words which makes my eyes to see through his eyes directly to his soul.
I know I have insecurities but I trust Dhruv. He accepted a girl who was rejected by everyone. He made me his wife without knowing my past. Isn't it fair of if I don't trust him. I have decided that I am going to give my husband percent to this relationship and my first step is coming out from my insecurities and trusting Dhruv he would not gonna leave me.
In her whole life, a girl always want a guy who took care of her and accept her as she is. She wants him to love her unconditionally, I don't know about Dhruv love me or not but he is that man who accept me, the way I am.
When I get so lucky?
Before we could continue sales girl come with the bill. Dhruv read the bill and then he stood up holding my hand. We both went to the bill counter. He paid the bill with his debit card and then we both went out from the shop after giving the address of our house to deliver all things at home.
*****
A girl's life changes after marriage. She has to to start over everything, new place, new parents, new house. A girl change into women after marriage. For some girls this might difficult to leave there parents house but for me it was blessings. A met a person who took care of me more than himself, who bring me out to the hell which I suppose to call my family.
All my wishes have completed.
I may not cried before leaving my house but somewhere I know my life is going change for good reasons.
I might not be a perfect person but I found the perfect partner in Dhruv. Thankyou for choosing me to spend your life with me.
"Is there something on my face?" I didn't realise that I was looking at him without blinking until he asked and started wiping his face with his hand thinking that there might be something on his face.
His words bring me out from my world. My red cheeks are the proof that I was thinking about him. I just shake my head little and turn my face to the other side.
We both are walking in the mall with some shopping begs in our hands. Dhruv bought two set of watches one for himself and one for mine.
When I looked at him again he was grinning and I know my red cheeks confirmed him that only he was in my mind.
"What you said at doctor, was it right?"
His question made me stunned. Because there is many things I confessed and there were things which I don't want him to know.
My answer depends on what he heard.
"What I said to doctor?" I asked while looking down but we still were walking.
"That you fell for me the moment you saw me?" There were hesitation in his voice when he was asking.
I forgot that he was sitting with me when I confessed to doctor about him.
I nodded my head and said while looking at him, "You know that I had feelings for you."
A proud grin came onto his face and I just keep adoring his beautiful features.
"Do you still feel butterflies in your stomach wherever I came close to you?" He asked.
I looked down and slowly nodded my head while smiling shyly and tuck a loose strand behind the ear. After that he didn't say anything. We both keep walking in silence.
We both have a different smile on our faces. It was like our heart beats talking with each other because we both are lack of words. He deliberately brushes his hand with mine and slowly tangled his small finger with mine. We hold our hands many time but this time it means a lot like our feelings attached to this. We both were walking like this with tangled small fingers and smiles on our face.
Dhruv and I both entered in ladies showroom together but before we could buy anything his phone rings.
It was from Shastri ji..
"I have to take this. You'll go and look something for yourself. I'll come after taking this call."
I nodded my head as yes and he leave out side the showroom to take the call.
I went into the nightwear section to buy some pyjamas for myself as Dhruv bought shorts for me. I feel shy to wear them in front of me, especially when he cuddles me. Though shorts are more comfortable than pyjamas, Divya used to told me and I also want to try them but what should I do with my shyness when Dhruv is around. My eyes went to other girls who were buying some very cute nighties even they were checking them on themselves while looking at the mirror, if they look good on them or not.
I found a very comfortable crop top and pyjama for me to wear but my eyes keep going to those cute nighties.
"Do you like something?" Suddenly Dhruv came from behind and asked me, made me gasp out of surprise.
"Yeah, I was thinking to buy this? How is it?" I asked while showing him the crop top and pyjama.
"Hmm... it's good but you should buy some nighties too as they are more comfortable than pyjamas." He said while pointing towards the knee length nighty which a girl was holding.
"No, it's fine. I feel cold under air conditioner." I said in a low voice while looking down to the pyjama I was holding and I can feel my cheeks getting red. I tuck a loose strand behind my ear while looking down.
"We should buy some earrings for you. I know you like them."
I looked at him when he touched my earlobe and then looked at me.
"How do you know?" I asked with curiosity.
"Only you were not the one who noticed everything of me. I also know what my beautiful neighbour like." He said while looking at me and then chuckled softly while I keep looking at him with adoration.
Did he also noticed me when we used to live in neighbourhood?
I blinked and looked down. Sometimes when we were in love, we forgot everything around us and our world started resolving around only to that person that we forgot he also noticed us.
I don't know when Dhruv noticed these small things about me because I was too busy adoring him.
"Can I say something?" I asked.
"Yes.." He said without looking at me while going through some t-shirts.
"Please don't touch my tummy on breakfast table?" I said with hesitation. He stopped what he was doing. He looked at me and asked, "You don't like it?"
I smile shyly but didn't dare to raise my head from there, "I do.....I...I mean, I like but I feel very ticklish there. What if someone see us?"
"You like it, that's it. I am not touching someone's wife. I don't care what everyone thinks and Nikhil used to do many more things with Nikita bhabhi under the table when he was newly married. I just hold your hand and touch you tummy." After he declared his decision I didn't dare to say anything. It's not like I don't like him teasing me, I do but it's just I don't want someone to see us and made their opinion about us. I know no one going to judge us but I am afraid of Anuradha aunty.
That lady already hates me.
"I think you should buy some bra and panties for yourself."
I turn to my right and saw Dhruv was standing with pairs of bra and panties in different colours. Girls who were shopping beside me suppressing their laugh seeing Dhruv with bra and panties.
"They are not of my size." I snatched them from him and put them back from where he picked them.
"They are definitely of your size." He said with confidence.
"How do you sure about that?" I demand the answer.
He leaned and whispered in my ear, "You are forgetting that I have already laid my hands on them. They are perfect but I need to work on them to make them perfect size."
His answer leave me dumb when he leaned back and winked while smirking.
After paying the bill of our purchases, Dhruv and I both head to the jewellery shop. He bought a pair of gold earrings for me and I bought lots of artificial jhumka earrings for myself, Divya and Nikita bhabhi. Dhruv also made me buy some makeup things, like lipstick, kajal, sindoor etc. He said that he knew I love to do all these things and he wants his old Aditi back who used to love all girly things and the whole time I was keep looking at my husband who us making efforts to bring back my old self.
****
When we leave from the mall it was already dark. It was dinner time so Dhruv called Divya that we have our dinner outside. Dhruv wanted to take me on some restaurant but I requested him to have street food and how could I forget that we have our first unofficial lunch date on a street food stall.
He agrees with me and bring me on the famous Chinese Street food shop. There were no place to sit so we both decided to pack our food and have it on some peaceful place.
Dhruv came back after ordering our food.
"It took almost half an hour to pack our order as he has many orders to ready." He said and I smiled. He stand beside me while leaning back to the car.
We both stood there in silence folding our arms to our chest and both looked at the temple which was in front of us.
It was decorating with Fairy lights and garlands. People are still coming for darshan. I don't understand one thing how could people still believe in him when he does not even exist.
I was one of them. I believed in him. I worshiped him everyday but what happened in my life, he was aware of that but he did not send someone to help me.
I know it was not his fault, I just don't trust him anymore.
"Do you remember once we met in temple, when we both came with our mothers?" Dhruv suddenly asked me.
I nodded my head without looking at him and said, "You did not come inside the temple. You said you don't trust him."
"I still not. But sometimes I think that there should be someone we should believe and worship. After all I met you again all because of him."
I looked at him and he was looking at the temple. He has a small smile on his face when he averted his gaze to me.
"Aditi, I don't know why but I am daring to trust him again. I want to thank him to bring you back in my life. Will you hold my hand and be with me in this dare." He forward his hand towards me and asked.
He has smile on his face and shine in his eyes. He wants me to hold his hand want me to walked with him together in this path of believe. Not for God, but I give my hand in his because he wants me to walk with him.
His blinked and his smile become wider. We both walked hand in hand to the temple. After reaching the main gate of temple we both bent down together and touched the floor for blessing. Dhruv again hold my hand and we both rang the bell of temple.
I smiled when he put my saree pallu on my head and cover it. We both stood in front of the idol of lord Shiva while joining our hands and closed our eyes.
I don't know if you are exist or not but once I used to believe you. I don't know what happened with me, was your fault or not because you always believe in Karma.
I just want to ask you one thing, was my karma was that bad that you punished me like this?
I am daring to trust you again because someone I love wants to believe in you again and I promised him to be with him always.
I don't know about my Karma but if I ever did something good please full fill every wish of Dhruv.
I always want Dhruv's happiness from you and I am asking it again. Please bring all the happiness in his life and give all his sorrow to me.
I opened my eyes and looked at Dhruv who was already looking at me with an adoration and an unknown emotions which I still can not read. Pandit ji came and gave us prasad which we have with all respect.
"What did you ask him?" He asked when we both walking towards the exit of temple.
"I should not tell you what I asked him otherwise it would not full fill." I said wore my slippers.
"But you can tell as I am your husband." He shrugged his shoulders and wore his shoes.
"Okay, I'll tell you first you tell me what you asked?" I asked him.
"I should not supposed to tell you. I think we should go. Our food must be ready by now." I laughed when he leave me there and almost run from me to ignore the question.
Sometimes he is just a baby.
*****
Dhruv and I both are sitting on the bonnet of the car and enjoying our food while watching the moon. He has stopped the car near his old rental house. This area is outside of the city and pretty much isolated.
"Having dinner under open sky make it amazing experience." Dhruv said while having the spoon of his noodles while looking at the moon.
"Have you never have your dinner under open sky?" I asked and he just shrugged his shoulders.
We both puts the containers beside us after finishing our noodles and wipe our hands with napkins. Dhruv leaned back to bonnet and support his body in air with his hands. I laid on the bonnet and watched the moon.
"You know what, in childhood I was the one who had my dinner late. The day when don't show up outside, I used to bring my dinner on terrace and have it there looking between your home and moon and wish that someday I have my dinner with you under the moon light." I said with a dreamy smile while looking at the moon. When I looked at him, he was already looking at me.
He leaned down to me and my heart beats already get fast. I almost forgot to breath when he came closer to me.
"Bachpan maine tumhe bhot sataya hai na?" He whispered while looking into my eyes.
"Bhot..." I answered in whisper while looking at him.
Our gaze locked with each other and we both are looking each other with different emotions. Our eyes were glistening with unknown emotions and we both have a warm smile on our faces.
"Can I kiss you?" He asked me suddenly while looking between my lips and my eyes. He leaned more and our heads are almost touching.
My lips curls into a wide smile. I chuckled and I turn to my side when our lips was about to touch. I gasped when I feel his hand on my bare back. The blouse has the deep neck from behind.
"Don't tease your husband." He whispered in my ear.
"I have all right." I whispered back without looking at him with same blushing smile on my face and before his lips could touch my cheeks, I sit and jumped out from the bonnet. When I turn to look at him he was already looking at me. He chuckled softly and shake his head in amusement. He also jumped out from the bonnet and bring the water bottle from inside the car. We both washed our hands. Drink some water and again we both stood together leaning to the car and watched the moon together in silence.
"Aditi, Do you have something in your mind about your future, that what you want to become?" Dhruv asked while looking at moon and then me. This time he has serious expressions.
"I want to become a mathematics teacher but I don't have a degree for that." I smiled sadly.
"If you want you can do B.SC in maths after your graduation." He suggested while looking at me.
I scoffed and shake my head in negative, "I don't want to start over again. Sometimes I think I will never be financially independent."
"If I ask you one thing, will you do it for me?" He asked while looking at me.
"What..?"
"Go for the civil services. I'll guide you. We have Raghav also." He said.
"Civil services exam is the most toughest exam in India and third in the world. You and Raghav both are intelligent and I was always an average student from school. Civil services are not for me." I
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