Dhruv's point of view

Desire,

You can describe desire as a lust but it has the different meaning also. You desire the person you really want in your life, you love the person and physical intimacy is just to show their love to the person you love. Of course I don't lust Aditi, but I desire for her . I have desire to hold her in my arms. I desired to kiss her. I desired to kick out all her pain and today what just happened in my living room is something naturally. I did not plan it. I just wanted to kiss her but one thing leads to another and I could not control myself.

I have touched her soft nipples with my lips and sucked them. This is my first time I am kissing a girl or sucking her nipples. They were soft and I get that these are the sensitive parts of Aditi. I looked down to my jeans.

Yes, I have a boner and I can not open the door like this when Raghav was standing on the other side of the door. I adjust my pants and took a deep breath before opening the door.

"What were you doing? Took you so long to open the door. " He asked while frowning.

"Yeah I was on call with someone." My voice felt heavy. It's the after effect after having the making out session with the most beautiful girl. Raghav looked at me suspiciously and cleared my throat.

He ignored me and entered inside the house. I followed him behind after closing the door.

"Sorry, We are in a wrong house." He turned to leave.

"You in right house." I said.

"Really...?" He looked at the house confusingly.

"Yeah..?" I took the seat on the couch where just a minute ago Aditi was under me and I was adoring her.

He walked further and swiped his gift on the table to check the dust on it and hummed impressively. I rolled my eyes on him.

Sometimes he is just extra dramatic.

"Did you really use the broom and mope I gifted to you? Dude I was just joking. I like your old dusty house." He frowned and took a seat beside me.

"I like my house now." I said.

"By the way who has the enough courage to clean your house?" He asked still checking the dust on the wooden arms of the couch.

"Aditi..." I answered.

"My sister is not your maid. Do your own work." He said through greeted teeth. The possessive brother awaken inside him. I raised my both hands in surrender.

"She offered to help and she didn't do it alone. I helped her." I said still raising my hands in surrender.

"You better be otherwise IAS or not I would put you behind the jail in false allegations."

Fuck..he is way more possessive for Aditi than I think.

"I get it." I nodded my head as yes as I am not in a condition and a situation to give a him a sarcastic reply.

"I need a beer man." He got up and walked to the kitchen. Aditi is in kitchen. She will be uncomfortable in front of Raghav and he would again think that I made Aditi work.

I also got up and followed him behind to the kitchen.

"Aditi, you here?" Before I could stop him, it's already late.

He already saw her. Aditi turn and looked at him. Her face was beetroot red and she is still not get calm. I can understand this is the first time we both went a little far but I don't regret what we did. I like her and I think she likes me too. If she doesn't she pushed me to the second later I have kissed her on my terrace.

As her eyes met with mine she looked down and tuck a strand behind her ear. She did not reply Raghav's question so I jumped in between.

"I picked up her from her college."

He smiled mischievously and wiggled his eyebrows. I glared at him warn him with my eyes not to comment anything stupid when Aditi is with us. Aditi turn to kitchen counter and started doing preparation for pullav.

"What are you cooking?" He asked while bumping her shoulder with his.

"Pullav.." She said in whispered but still not lifted her head and chopped the vegetables.

"What's so special and why you red? Is some....."

"Raghav I think we need to talk." I said through greeted teeth. He is making more uncomfortable to her.

"It can wait. Now I am talking to Aditi. You know what she usually used violence against me, kicked me here and there when I annoyed her but today she is calm strangely and red too. Do you know what happened to her." Aditi coughed on her saliva and looked shockingly to Raghav.

He looked between both of us with mischievous glance.

"Do you want me to tell your mom, every secrets of yours." I threatening him and he knows I will do that if he doesn't stop.

"Fine...." He huffed and walked out from the kitchen. I looked at Aditi who was started doing her work ignoring me completely. I walked to her and stood beside her.

"Do you want some help?" I asked in a very low voice. She just shake her head as no without looking at me.

Is she being shy or regretting what we did on the couch.

I don't know what she was thinking. This my first time with the girl and the girl was non other than my beautiful neighbour whom I adore so much.

I should give her sometime.

I looked at her one more time and then walked out from the kiss giving her sometime alone.

****

When I came to the living room, Raghav was watching the T.V, flipping channels randomly. I sit beside him and looked at the T.V blankly.

"How was your trip." He asked suddenly.

It was horrible and torturing after meeting Aditi's family and some horrible information about her past.

"Nothing special." I said blankly.

"What comes up that you have to delay your trip one more week." He again asked me.

"You know how system works. Raj, the Dehradun District Magistrate and I have to work on some other things also." I lied smoothly because I don't want to share things with him until Aditi wants.

"Yeah, you are right. It must be hectic?" He asked and I nodded my head positively.

"Lunch is ready." Both Raghav and I turn to the direction and I saw Aditi was standing there with a bowl.

"Let me help you." Both Raghav and I stood up help her to set the table. Raghav went inside to bring the plates and spoons while I slowly walked to Aditi and stood in front of her. She bend down her head and I can see her red cheeks.

I slowly took the bowl from her taking care not to brush my hand with her. I want to make sure if she is uncomfortable and I lost what we have after taking a step ahead in our relationship.

Raghav came back with plates and spoons we all three took our seats after Aditi served pullav to both of us, Raghav and I.

Aditi sit beside Raghav just in front of me and still hiding her gaze from me. I keep looking at her so that at once she could look me but she keep ignoring me. Raghav attack the food like he was hungry from ages, well he was always.

"Ummm, Aditi you made the best food but please don't tell this to mom I don't want to get beating from her famous chappal. (slippers)" He said while shoving more food in his mouth. Aditi just give a small smile to him and then looked at me who was still looking at her. As she noticed I was looking at her she again keeps her gaze down and consume eating.

We had our lunch and Raghav left after getting the call from work. He asked me to meet on tomorrow and I agree to him. Raghav left and I closed the main door. When I looked back to the lunch table Aditi was already gone into the kitchen with plates.

I came into the kitchen and found her lost in her thoughts. I have to do something to let of her uneasiness. I walked to her and hugged her from behind and rest my forehead on her shoulder. She stiffened under my hold but calm down after few seconds.

"Are you regretting what we have done earlier?" I asked while taking a deep breath.

"Do you?" She asked me.

I slowly turn her to my side by holding her shoulders. I put my hand under her chin and lifted her face slowly. She lifted her eyelids and looked at me.

"I don't regret a single second what we have. I have never feel this before for anyone. You are special." I said and her eyes turn into glossy.

"Now answer me are you regretting?" I asked.

She did not say anyone just lower her eyelids. Her silence killing me from inside every second. If I have done this to her forcefully I would hate myself. I would never forgive myself because Aditi is the last person I would hurt. How could I lost my control. I should have understood.

"I am sorry for taking a step ahead. I should no..." Aditi shut my mouth with her hand and shake her head as no.

"I am not regretting also. It's just.." She again lower down her eyelids.

"What it is?" I asked in a low voice only audible to her.

She didn't say anything just hugged me tightly and I also bring my arms around her, pulling her more closer to me.

"Please do not ask me anything. I could not answer. I like every seconds what we have."

A small smile came onto my face and I hugged her tightly. She answered my question without knowing.

"I won't ask." I kissed on her forehead and again pulled her into a hug.

*****

It's the early morning of next morning. After dropping Aditi to the office I cane to my meeting where Raghav was accompanied me. After finishing our meeting we both went to the near café for the coffee.

This morning Aditi was blushing and barely looking at me because of what happened between us in my house. All the time I have grin on my face while looking at her blush but I am going to take slow steps in our unnamed relationship. I don't want yo scare her.

She trusts me and I will do anything to keep her trust on me.

"Elections are coming and I am going to fucked with all the arrangements." Raghav huffed in irritation.

I chuckled and took the sip of my black coffee.

"I warned you not to miss commissioner's anniversary party." I said looking at him.

Everyone knows how sucks election duties are. All tiring and boring too.

"I should have went to that party at least commissioner have some pity on me. He put all the responsibility on my shoulders." He sighed and drink his coffee.

"You should have think it before." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yeah.." He said with sucking face.

I checked the time in my wrist watch. It's already 12:30 P.M. Meeting was too long to be expected and it's been too long I have seen Aditi.

"Hey, Is there any function in your house next week?" He asked.

I knitted my eyebrows in confusion, "No. Why?"

"Last Sunday I saw Anuradha aunty and Nikita bhabhi doing tons of shopping, buying some lehengas and traditional clothes, like they have wedding to attend. When I asked them they told me they have a function in their house in this Sunday and they invited me also." He said while drinking his coffee.

What function is going to happen in next Sunday which I was not aware of
Why didn't mummy tell me? She even informed me about her Kitty parties then why should she hiding this function from me.

Why I was not being informed?

May be I was out of town that's why no one calls me but why do I have bad filling about it.

"I have no idea." I said, lost in my thoughts.

***

Raghav took his leave after getting the call from head office while I sit here for sometime. I took my phone and dialled Divya's number because I know Nikhil will not will not utter a word about the upcoming function no matter how many time I will ask. He may come out with shit excuse to avoid my question. Divya is the only one who could tell me what is going inside the house if I push her a little.

She picked up her call with in two rings.

"Hello, yes bhiya." She was panting like she was running. I can hear her harsh breath even on phone.

"Where are you?" I asked suspiciously.

"I came to the shopping for the function in next Sunday." She said in haste.

"Where is that function?" I again asked.

"In our House." I can imagine her rolling her eyes.

"What kind of a function is that?"

"Don't tell me you forget your own engagement with Priya."

My grip become tight on my phone and I clenched my jaw. My blood was boiling inside and I want to break something very desperately.

"Why the fuck everyone is behind my wedding with Priya??" I said through my greeted teeth.

"Shit. I am not supposed to tell you this. Bhiya listen yo....." Before she could say anything I cut her call and dialled a number on my phone which I forgot I ever saved it.

"Where are you?"

*****

My car entered in the posh area of Lucknow where all the VIP's, officers and ministers lives. I stopped my car in front one of the posh house and without thinking anything I entered inside the house.

Her parents was sitting in the living room having their coffee. Her mother noticed me and walked towards me with a smile on her face.

"Dhruv, come. What a pleasant surprise. We don't expect you." She asked while walking towards me.

"Where is she?" I came to the point.

"In her room. If you want I can call her downstairs." Her mother asked.

But this time I want give her some price of my mind.

"No I want to meet her alone." I said and her mother nodded her head while her father was keep glaring at me. I ignore him and went to upstairs to meet her.

I opened the door of her room and she was sitting in front of her dressing table making her hair. She turns when she noticed my presence in the room and smiled looking at me. I walked inside the room. She stood up from the stool and approached me.

"Dhruv, You are here. You have no idea how happy am I to see you." Before I could say anything she hugged me which irritates me.

I hold her shoulders and pulled off from me and take a step back making some distance between us.

"How many times I have told you I don't want to marry you. So please stop dreaming about your future with me being a wife because I don't love you." I clearly said to her no more sugar coated words. I have tried many times to make her understand but she didn't listen.

Damn, I feel guilty every time when I rejected her again and again. Why does she no understand.

Instead of disappointment, she smiled which left me in confusion.

"You don't have any choice but to marry me. You don't know about the deal your mother finalized with my father?" She asked and I looked at her in confusion.

"What deal?" I asked.

"Your mother signed the deal with my father to invest in your brother's company to make him one of the leading businessmen no in just Lucknow but in whole India and only my father and uncle could help Nikhil bhiya in this." She has the wicked smile on her face which I never saw on her face since the day I know her.

"Does Nikhil know about this?" I fisted my hand and my jaw clenched in anger.

"Of, course he does. How come he doesn't know if it's about his company." She scoffed.

How could Mummy and Nikhil do this to me. I thought we are family though we have our differences but still we are family. How they could use me for their profits.

Priya came forward and cupped my cheeks. I keep looking at her dumbly like fucking use puppet, "You will be so happy with me Dhruv. I love you since my childhood and only think you as my husband. You are only mine Dhruv. Your only mine."

Before I could think or do anything she slammed her lips on me and started kissing me like hungry person and I stood there dumbly what just happened. How could my family betrayed me. I always do what they asked. I became the person they dream for me. I was always decent son to them but what they did to me? They all betrayed me.

I can feel her lips movement on mine but it was not like the kiss I do to my beautiful neighbour. Her kiss not even close to her. Her fragrance doesn't attract me like Aditi's. I feel like vomiting.

Aditi..

The only girl who get successful to capture my heart. Whom I can kiss whole day but still not get tired. No one can matched her innocence and the way she looked at me, not even the angel from heaven can woo me because Aditi is the queen of angels.

I came back to my senses and I pushed back Priya.

"Do not do this to me again. I am not going to marry you at any cost. Keep this in your mind." I pointed my finger to her and said through my greeted teeth.

"But I love you.." She said while holding my hand. I looked at our joining hands.

I pulled back my hands.

"This is your obsession for me you named love." After saying this walked out from the room leaving her crying and this time I don't feel guilty this time because she crossed her limits.

*****

My mood foul after encountering with Priya. I didn't bring my convoy here So I derived back to the office.

At once I thought to talk to Nikhil about his business deal and what the fuck he wants to do at the stake of my life. But it's no more use to talk to my family about the matter of my engagement. I tired making them understand that I don't love Priya and won't not be happy if I marry her.

Why can't they understand this simple fact and why the fuck mummy is doing all this?

I was blowing in anger when I reached the office. Everyone was greeting me but I didn't pay any attention and then I saw her on someone's desk asking something about the document she has on her hand.  She is too busy to notice. I did not care anything, I hold her hand and walked towards my office. My strides are such long that I was literally dragging Aditi with me. She tried to free her hand from my grip but I make it more tight.

When I reached my cabin I saw some of my employee who works under me, waiting for me in my cabin, which makes me more furious.

"Everyone, Out..." I roared in anger and without saying a word everyone started leaving the cabin.

One of them gave a weird look to Aditi but he gain a dreadful glare from me that make him bent down his neck and walked out in embarrassment.

As the door closed of my cabin, I leave Aditi's hand, I shouted and throw everything what I have on my table.

"Dhruv what happened?" Aditi asked me worriedly but her voice didn't fell on my deaf ears.

"Why can't I understand." I started throwing things in my cabin because every nerves inside me shouted in anger and I want to destroy everything. What is the use of being an IAS officer if someone take decisions of my life.

"Everyone is selfish." I throw the vase on wall. It's my fucking life so decisions should be mine. Who I want to marry or whom I spend my life with me should be alone my decision, there is no further discussion on it. What hurts me more that, my family is making business deals over my life.

It's fucking cheap.

"Dhruv, please tell me what happened?" her voice is shaking and I know I was scaring her.

I punched on the glass table in anger. Aditi hugged me from behind to calm me. I hold her hand on my chest, pinned her to the wall and slammed my lips on her. Kissing her angrily but passionately. I want to remove Priya's touch on my lips. Aditi is the only one who could kiss me hug me and can do anything she wants.

I bit her lips and she moaned. I shoved my tongue inside her mouth and explore it touching the every corner of her luscious lips with my wet tongue. She put her hand on my chest to push me back but I hold her hand and pinned them on the wall beside her head and pulled her closer to me with her waist getting best position to kiss my darling.

I leave her lips when we both are short of breath. We both are panting and our chest are heaving up and down. My eyes welled up in tears looking at her. She cupped my cheeks and finally the tear left from my right eye.