Her eyes were open so wide, they had changed shape and the white was stark against her face. She was breathing increasingly laboured, until she was gasping for air.

Gabe was glad he had rushed her out of there but he hadn't been fast enough. In an ideal world, she wouldn't have seen or heard any of that.

He felt the rage soothe him into action as he swept Natalia into his arms, like she weighed nothing and carried her out of the house in long, quick strides to where their truck was parked.

He set her down on the passenger seat and cupped her face in her hands. She felt clammy and cool all at once and there was clear panic in her eyes.

"Nat, sweetheart, look at me." Her eyes went every which way but did not make contact with his. "Look at me, babe. You're having a panic attack. It's just a panic attack. You're going to be fine. Can you breathe in and out on my count?"

"1, 2, 3, 4 deep breath in," he directed, sweeping hair from her sticky forehead. "Hold it in, for 1, 2, 3, 4 and release." He rubbed her shoulders and then her thighs to encourage her muscles to unlock as he instructed her on how to regulate her breathing away from the painful gasps of air for a couple of more cycles.

He had done this same process countless times before. Being a Captain in the Marines, had come with many responsibilities. Cajoling the fear out of boy soldiers that should have been at home with their mommies had been one of them.

"Okay, one more time."

"I'm fine," she said, her voice hoarse. She looked fatigued. She pushed his hands away from her face, but there wasn't much power behind the motion. "Can you stop hovering?"

"No." Gabe told her blankly. "I know some part of you is embarrassed — "

"Try mortified. Did you have to carry me out of there?"

"I won't apologise for it," he said and set his jaw so hard his back teeth hurt.

"Can you just take me home please?"

He gave her furtive, worried glances all the way home. He'd felt something had been off even before they had arrived. He had been wrong not to trust his instincts, a resource that had never failed him before and now Natalia was suffering for it.

"Can I get you anything?" He was hovering, just like she had accused him of doing.

"No." She was lying in bed with her body turned away from the door, her knees were drawn up as much as her belly would let her. She had slipped upstairs as soon as they had gotten home. He had hung back, unsure of what to say to her but knowing that she wanted to be left alone. He didn't need to see her face to know that she had been crying.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He tried again.

"No."

"Can I hold you?"

"I just want to be alone," she said, sounding so despondent that Gabe couldn't find it in himself to argue or get in her face. He went downstairs, he needed a distraction.

Gabe let out a series of violent curses he'd never before uttered in his civilian life before and kicked a cabinet that was in the hallway leading from the front door so hard it splintered into hundreds of pieces beneath his feet.

It was new. He hoped that Natalia wouldn't miss it as he felt the red haze of anger dissipate, and turn into a low hum of hurt. He was hurting for her. He didn't have the monopoly on healthy family relations but he'd never experienced betrayal like that before. He couldn't imagine it and he hated that he wasn't able to protect her from it.

He fished his phone out of his pocket after cleaning up the mess he had made and dialled Ty's number.
"Look Ty, I don't know or care to know about whatever happened between you and Lima in Dubai, can you relay that message to her so she can stop avoiding Nat?"

"Oh, hello to you too, buddy. I'm doing great, thanks for asking!"

"Ty." Gabe ground out. "I'm serious, I'm not in the mood."

"Okay." Ty sighed. "For the record, she avoiding me too. But I'll let her know. Everything ok?"

"No," Gabe sighed and found himself telling Ty the events of the afternoon.

"You want me to take care of him for you?" he asked, sounding completely serious.

"I don't know how Nat feels about this yet," Gabe said. The idea was tempting, smashing Ashley's face in would make him feel better for sure but would it make Nat feel better? That was doubtful and he did not want to get on her bad side again.

"Well the offer is there. Call me with any updates."

"Thanks, brother, will do."

Sighing deeply, Gabe stood up and headed to the kitchen. Natalia had barely eaten at the party, and throughout the day. She had been too nervous, her stomach had been all twisted up.

She cared about her family, all of her family no matter what she said. She had a hard exterior and liked to project this devil may care attitude but her centre was gooey and she was desperate for her family's acceptance.

Gabe made a simple salad that Natalia had been craving non-stop from leftovers in the fridge. Grilled chicken, with sweet potatoes, pine nuts and a tahini dressing and carried that upstairs along with a drink and a blood pressure machine he had bought from the pharmacy.

The doctor had been monitoring her blood pressure once a week, but so had Gabe every couple of days. He loathed to think what effect the afternoon had had on her blood pressure. It had been high for a couple days already; the doctor saying that she was going to be admitted if it had crept up anymore.

"Natty. Baby. I want you to try and eat something..."

There was no answer. She was sleeping in the same position he had left her.

He rounded on the bed determined to have a conversation even if she wanted to keep him at arm's length. This wasn't how their relationship worked.

"Nat, sweetie. Can you open your eyes?"

He gently shook her when he didn't get an answer, his hand sweeping from her shoulder to her face. Her skin felt clammy, and cool at the same time exactly how it had felt when she was having her panic attack. Fear so potent he went dizzy gripped him. The blood was roaring in his ears.

"Nat, baby please can you open your eyes. I know you don't want to talk, just let me see you're okay and I'll leave you alone."

When he shook her with more force, she opened her eyes. They were glazed and she looked confused, looking right through him as if he wasn't there and then she was gone again.

He felt her pulse, it was going haywire. He felt her forehead, she was sweaty but cold to the touch. Her breathing was getting shallower.

He dialled her doctor, as he carried her downstairs and arranged to meet him at the emergency room. He called for an ambulance but figured he'd be quicker by car. This was his worst nightmare come to life.

He prayed to all the deities he knew by name and hoped someone was in the mood to listen and when he was done with that, he begged and pleaded with Natalia herself to hold on, to be okay. To cuss him out, to give him one of her dirty looks, to do something, anything other than be the fragile small woman that he was cradling in his arms as he sped down the highway.

There was a team and a stretcher waiting for them at the entrance of the hospital. They hustled and spirited her away so quickly he didn't have time to get his bearings. A nurse escorted him to a waiting room.

The smell, the colour of the walls, everything was so familiar yet he knew the two situations were different but his heart, it didn't know that. It was steeling itself for all the hurt. Maybe he deserved it, he had been naive to think the universe owed him any more happiness. He was out of quota, and he had stupidly dragged Natalia and an unborn soul into it.

"Gabe!"

He caught a flying Ella before she tackled him into a hug. "How..?" he questioned.

"Your neighbor called me. How is she?"

"I don't know, I — "

"It's okay. She's strong. She'll get through this. They both will."

"I'm afraid," he said out loud. With the adrenaline wearing off, he felt overwhelmingly scared and alone. The sharp hint of new tears were knocking on his nose. When was the last time he had even cried?

All he had felt when Alice was going through chemo was anger. He had wanted revenge and retribution. Now with all the fight zapped out of him, he was left with all of his feelings in the cold, harsh light of the hospital waiting room.

It took one pat and a look into Ella's sympathetic blue eyes for the emotions to unravel out of him. And she took it, holding him through the huge ugly wracking sobs that overtook his body.

___________________________

*Hides from the flying rotten tomatoes being thrown at her* Okay in my defence...actually I have no defence. I just love problems and drama. *Crying emoji*