Thirty six

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He stares ahead as he thinks.

"Owen, I told you that you don't have to talk about it-" His words cut me off.

"It's okay. I'm okay." He turns his head and gives me a reassuring look.

I swallow, and nod.

"But um...so yeah. I had a brother and his name was Danny." Had? My stomach twists, scared for what he might say next.

When he opens his mouth to speak again he quickly closes it. "How about I tell you everything later, yeah?" His eyes meet mine, a glossy look coating them.

I can tell he's trying not to break.

"Okay." I slip my hand into his and give it a reassuring squeeze.

Suddenly Levina and Olive come back, holding four cups of hot chocolate.

Levina glances down to our conjoined hands and sends me a quick smirk before handing Owen and I our drinks.

I wrap both my freezing hands around the cup and take a large sip. The hot liquid burns my tongue.

"Omg so the girl who gave us the drinks was literally so fuckin' rude.  Like everything she did was with such attitude for what? She didn't even respond when I said 'have a good day'.  Like who the fuck does that bitch think she is?" Levina continues ranting about the rude girl as she takes the seat next to me.

Olive chugs the drink like nothing.  I never understood how some people could chug hot liquids.  How do they not die?

"So...how did you enjoy skating?" Levina jokingly wiggles her eyebrows.

"I didn't enjoy it at all. I got bullied by two little kids and was practically hanging onto Owen for dear life." I sigh.

She smirks at the mention of Owen. "So...you and Owen huh?" A knowing look is in her eyes.

My eyes widen and I bite the side of my cheek.

"We're...uh...we're just friends." I respond, not meeting her gaze.

Owen and Olive are currently in a conversation, so he isn't paying attention.

"I'm not an idiot." Levina leans closer to my ear and whispers.

"What do you mean?" Anxiety begins to churn in my stomach.

"I see everything." She quickly winks at me.

I gulp.

Before I could muster up a response she continues. "So are you guys dating yet or what? I've been waiting fucking months for this to happen." She takes a sip of her hot chocolate and waits for me to give her details.

"No...we aren't. We just like to, you know, kiss a lot." I feel my face heat at the thought of his lips.

They're so warm and tender. I could kiss them all day. And the way his tongue-

"Omg...have you guys had sex yet!" She whisper yells to me.

My eyes go wide once more.

"No! Just kissing and a little touching. But that's it." I'm glad he hasn't pushed me to do anything, shows a lot about his character. Except I wouldn't mind to explore just a little.

"Boring." She drags out the word as she rolls her eyes. "When you have sex tell me everything!" She flashes me a grin.

"Don't worry, I will." I won't. Okay maybe I'll tell her a little, but not everything. Plus I don't even know if Owen wants to have sex with me.

"What day is it?" She randomly asks.

"Um..." I check on my phone. "Friday."

"Shit. I gotta get home. I promised my dad I would watch a movie with him. And it's already 9pm. The old guy goes to bed at like 10:30." She rolls her eyes and takes out her phone, beginning to type away.

Levina stands up and walks over to the nearby garbage to throw away her cup before walking back over to the bench and standing in front of us.

"Sorry to cut this thing short but I gotta go have a movie night with my dad. And I ain't got all day so let's go." We all stand up and begin walking to the car. Olive and Levina walk hand in hand in front of Owen and I.

We walk in silence, no words are exchanged.

"Do you wanna sleep over today?" Owen's voice makes my head spin to his direction.

I think it's safe to say that we enjoy each other's company, so I'm not surprised he's asking me.

"Omg...a sleep over? Yes! Except I need to go home and get ready and stuff and change into my pajamas.  Maybe we could binge watch Marvel movies all night!" Excitement makes my heart beat faster.

"Sure, Luna.  Sure." He exasperates, but I don't miss the tiny smile on his face.

I can't stop my inevitable grin as we all hop into the car and drive off.

~

"Wait here." Owen stares at me with his head tiredly rested against the headrest of seat, his hands in his hoodie pockets.

"Okay." He responds dully.

I give him an unnecessary thumbs up before hopping out the car and running up to my front door.

Levina dropped us off at Owen's house about five minutes ago.  Then we went into Owen's car and now we're in front of my house.

"Hola mamá." I skip over to her and lean down to plant a kiss on her cheek.

She's too engrossed in eating popcorn and watching her reality shows to even notice my presence.

"Hola mija.  How was the uh..." She takes a second to think of the English word.  "the ice skate?"

"Ice skating, ma.  Ice skating." I pat her shoulder as I correct her.

She rolls her eyes and refocuses on the show.

"So...I'm sleeping over at my friend Levina's today since it's Friday.  Is that okay?" I give her  a sweet smile.

I feel kind of bad for lying, but not too bad.

"Thats fine.  Now stop interrupting my show, it's getting to the good part!" She shoos me away and pulls the soft couch blanket over her upper body.

I let out a laugh before speed walking to the bathroom so that I could brush my teeth and shower.

After I've showered and washed my hair I go to my room and pull on a pair of black sweat pants, red socks with little cute strawberries on them, and a dark red comfortable tank top.  I throw a hoodie over it since it's freezing outside.

Going into my nightstand drawer I pull out my black and green nail polish, stuffing them into my pockets.

I mentally high five myself for the idea.

Once I brush my hair I head back out into the hallway and to mom.

"Bye ma, love you!" I whisper yell to her, trying not to interrupt her reality show watching.

She grunts and waves her hand goodbye, not daring to look away from Kim Kardashian's face on the screen.

I can't help but chuckle before heading out the front door and running back to Owen's car.

When I hop in the passenger seat and look towards him I see him rubbing his eyes awake.

"Sorry, I may have taken a little nap." He says as he starts the car.

"It's okay sleepy head.  Now drive." My tone turns serious towards the end of the sentence.  Even though I'm not being serious right now at all.

"Okay Ms. Bossy."

If I'm Ms. Bossy then he's Mr. PrettyFace.

Since he has a pretty face? Get it.  I'm so smart.

~

"Where are your parents?" We walk into the dark empty house. The only sound being his keys when he drops them onto the small table next to the front door.

"They're visiting my aunt again. Since my mom can't work because of her health problems and what not, she doesn't really get out much. So sometimes she'll just go hang out with her sister for the fun of it. She is always trying to get me to hang out there too, but I'm not interested. I used to go when I was younger but her cats are mean." He rambles as I follow him into the kitchen.

I think that's the most I've ever heard him speak without stopping.

"What about your dad? I haven't even seen him." I frown. I want to meet his dad.

"He works a lot so he's not home much. And he's not here tonight because my mom drags him to her sister's house as well." He musters out a laugh.

He never turned the light on, so it's still dark in here. The lamp post outside on the sidewalk serves as the only source of light, dimly shinning through the kitchen window.

I hop up onto the counter as I watch him take out a glass and fill it up with water. He then goes into his pantry and grabs a bag of chips.

Wavy Lays.

I internally scream. I love those.

"Wait!" My voice comes out stressed. Owen abruptly turns to me. "Do you have chocolate?" My smile returns.

He doesn't respond, just reopens the cabinet and grabs a Hershey's bar.

When he walks over to come closer to me I grab the cup of water in his hand and drink half the cup before handing it back to him.

When I'm done I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Well okay then." He sighs and then places the cup in the sink.

"You know..." My legs begin to sway side to side.

"I know what...?" A grin tugs at my mouth when I sense the genuine confusion in his voice.

"You should totally carry me to your room. My legs don't feel like walking." My hands reach out to grab onto his shoulders as I pull him in between my legs and wrap them around his waist.

I hear his breathing halt.

He doesn't respond, just lowering his hands to my hips and hauling me onto his body. I shiver when I feel them then immediately slide down to my ass as he holds me up.

My arms are wrapped around his neck as I rest my head on his shoulders.

"What about the chocolate and chips? I wanted those." He sighs tiredly before turning to the side so that I could extend my hand to the counter and grab the items.

"Okay! Good to go." I rest my cheek back on his not-so-comfortable shoulder.

My legs dangle at his sides as he carries me upstairs.

I could've walked, but I just wanted to touch him.

He's so warm. Hopefully he won't mind if I use him as a blanket tonight.

Actually, no. That would be bad. He's a man and heavier than me. He'll crush me and then get arrested for suffocating me.

He gently kicks open the door and walks over to his bed.  Leaning over, I fall right on-top on his blanket.

I laugh and he gives me a smile before taking the chips and chocolate from me and throwing them to the other side of the bed.

"Can we watch My Baby Sitter's a Vampire?" Flipping myself over, I crawl to the other side of his bed. The side with the food on it.

I've been obsessed with the show since I was young.

"Whatever you want." His voice is just above a whisper as he focuses on the clothes he's taking out of his dresser.

The gymnast in my stomach does a flip from excitement.  Clapping my hands together I grab his laptop and put it on my lap.

He's already logged in so I just go straight to Netflix and start searching.

"I'm gonna go shower." Before I could even respond he's out the door.

A few minutes later I begin to hear the water running in the bathroom from close by.

My eyes go wide as my brain begins to conjure up images of a naked and wet Owen.

Oh.

I lift the laptop and cross my legs before placing it back down.

Not now, Luna.

Anxiously, I rip open the chocolate's wrapping paper. Tearing off a small cube I pop it into my mouth and suck on it as it begins to melt.

I peel off my sweatshirt, feeling like the room is now scorching hot.

I try to distract myself from the dirty images racing through my mind right now as I watch the show.

A little while later Owen saunters back into the room. He's wearing a plain black shirt with grey plaid pajama pants and black socks.

My stomach does a flip.

His hair is still damp from the shower.

I take notice of the thin silver chain peeking out from the top of his shirt.

Without even looking at me, he walks over and plops down right next to me.

My body becomes stiff.

"Stop hogging the damn thing." My grip on the computer loosens when he takes it off my lap and places it in between the two of us.

I ignore him and adjust my seating position so that I'm now in front of him.

He looks at me questionably.

"Give me your hand." I open my palm, waiting.

With slight confusion drawn onto his features he calmly places one of his hands into mine as he rests his head on his pillow.

Reaching into my pocket I take out the black nail polish and give him a wicked grin.

His face changes to a "are you serious?" type of look.

"Yes." Without any further explanation I unscrew the cap and tell him to the hold the small bottle as I paint.

His fingers are so nice. As well as his nails. They're clean and cut short.

He watches the show silently as I paint his nails as neatly as I can.

"Having fun?" I look up to meet his amused gaze staring up at me.

"Yup." I am indeed.

Once I'm done with one hand I screw the cap of the black nail polish back on and then reach into my pocket, grabbing the dark green one.

I don't even think he cares. He's more interested in the show than what I'm doing with his hands.

The only sound in the room is the low volume of the show and Flora playing with one of her toys from under his bed.

"All done! They look shitty, but who cares." I shrug as he looks at his nails.

"I should be a nail artist. Except I would probably get fired and get awful reviews. Then maybe one of my clients would get so fed up with me that they would take a nail clipper and begin stabbing me with it? Or what if they start taking nail polish bottles and chucking them at me, trying to kill me? Or imagine they tie me down and force me to drink all the nail polish in the salon? That would kill me! Or what if-" His fingers go to the hem of my tank top, brushing my boobs, as he tugs me on top of him.

His lips silence my nonsense rambling.

The fresh nail polish is probably fucked up now, dammit.

After a few seconds of our lips gently moving together, I break away and push myself off of him so that I can lay beside his body.

"Your nail polish! You're gonna fuck up my hard work!" I immediately grab his hand and examine it.

Okay, the nail polish looks fine, thank god.

I mean, it still looks like shit, but still.

"I don't care about the nail polish."

"Rude." I pinch his cheek before resuming to eating several more pieces of chocolate.

He chuckles. We end up binge watching the whole show.

Once it's over he shuts the laptop and places it on his nightstand.

I feel kind of bad since I ate basically the whole bag of chips.

"Okay, I'm tired, goodnight." He shifts a little and tugs the blanket up to his shoulders.

"Wait." I hold my hand up as I put the junk food on the night stand.

I'm leaned against the headboard while he is laying down.

"Earlier, you said that we could talk about...you know...later?" Silence hangs in the air for a few more moments before I interrupt it again. "Again, if you don't want to talk about it that's completely okay. Except if you still want to talk about it with someone I can listen. Or I can shut up and let you go to sleep." My voice is a nervous whisper.

He's silent for a few more seconds.  Building anxiety rapidly makes my mind spin.

He stands up off the bed.

Wait what? Is he gonna leave? What if I ticked him off or something by bringing it up?

"C'mon." He says quietly, telling me to follow him.

I hesitantly lift the blanket and stand up, walking up to him.

He heads to his bedroom door and opens it, leaving it open for me.

The hallway is pitch black.

Silence hangs between us like a heavy blanket as I follow the sound of his footsteps.

Sweat begins to build on my skin.  A clammy coating.

Suddenly he stops at a door.

I accidentally bump into him.

Even in the darkness I can see him slightly hesitating when his hand reaches the door knob.

I hear him suck in a breath before turning it.

Hesitantly, I follow him inside.

He shuts the door behind me and goes to somewhere in the room, turning on a lamp.

I look around confused.

We're in a blue room.

Football and basketball trophies sit on dusty shelves.

Some pieces of clothing are on the floor, as well as the messy bed.

Owen sighs and takes a seat on the bed.

He looks stiff and anxious.

Silence still reigns between us.  No words being exchanged.

I slowly head over to the brown nightstand next to the bed that's pushed up against the wall.

There's a picture under the lamp.  It's of Owen when he was younger and some older teenage looking boy.

"Danny was my brother." My head spins to him.

I stay quiet, unsure of what to say.

I head over to him, unsure of what to do, and take a seat next to him.

He fiddles with his hands that rest on his lap.

I reach out and take one of his hands, putting it on my lap as I lace my fingers through his.

"When he was seventeen he killed himself. Overdose."

My eyes widen.  My hand squeezes his a little tighter.

"I..." I start.  "I'm so sorry, Owen." I tell him sincerely.

He stares ahead, at the wall, a blank yet still depressing look on his face.

"I bet he was a great person." There's is true sincerity in my words.  I'm sure he truly was a great person to be around.  He seemed pretty funny just by reading that note from the Diary of A Wimpy Kid book.

Owen snorts.  "He was an asshole."

I smile.

"But he was funny.  And he cared about me. Maybe if I had showed him that I also cared about him then maybe he's still be here right now."

"It's not your fault. He knows you cared about him. What he did has nothing to do with you." A tinge of pain pokes at my heart. He continues to stare at the wall ahead sadly.

I smile again at Owen's side profile.  My thumb caresses his hand in a calming manner.

A few seconds pass.  "Tell me more about him."

"What do you want to know?" Even in the dark I can still see his head tilt towards the side to face my direction.

"As much as you want me to know." I give his hand another reassuring squeeze.

It's quite dark, but I think a see a small, just a little bit of a smile on his lips from my words.

"He was always making sex jokes. Like 24/7. His mind was in the gutter by the time he was in third grade." I smile.

"I remember when he would barge into my room randomly and tell me about some new random girl he had hooked up with. I would always tell him to leave me alone." My thumb continues to slowly caress his hand as I smile. Danny sure sounds like someone I would totally be friends with. People with humor like that make me laugh.

"I just mainly remember him always looking..." He struggles to get the next word out. "happy."

My smile falls.  I turn my face down to our conjoined hands on my lap, sadly watching my thumb move over and over again in a circle motion.

When I first met him he really didn't seem too keen on physical touch. Except I can tell that it comforts him a lot of the time. Like right now.

"How..." He cuts off his own words again. I look back to him "how didn't I notice?" His eyes bore into mine when he turns his head to look at me.

Breaking my hand free from his, I bring it up to his face and brush some of the messy hair off his forehead.

"Notice what?" I make sure to keep my voice soft as my hand is now placed on his cheek. My thumb caresses his cheekbone.

"That he wasn't happy. How could I have not known? If I would've paid attention more then maybe he'd still be here right now." Owen exasperates.

I feel the tears stinging my eyes, but I hold them back.

"Don't blame yourself. It isn't your fault that he did what he did. Sometimes it's hard to tell, because some people are really good at hiding what they're feeling. Like I said before; I promise, it's not your fault." My thumb moves in circular motions against the soft

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