Eight

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TW: mentions of self-harm, pls skip to the 11th paragraph if that makes you uncomfortable.
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The weather is warmer today, around 75 degrees. There is also no wind, and it's sunny. I saw this as a perfect opportunity to wear a dress.

I love matching dresses with my converse.  I've been doing it since I was young.

The dress I'm wearing today is black, the neckline showing a little cleavage. It ends slightly above my mid-thigh. A little shorter than I prefer, but it looks cute. The material slightly clings to my waist, accentuating the small curves I do have.  Except the the dress is looser past the point of my hips.

My long skinny legs are on display. A few scars are present on my knees and legs except I pay no mind to them anymore.

One of them is from falling off my bike a few years ago, another is from when my dad was drunk one time and knocked into me and I fell and hit my leg on our dining room table.

I have another small scar on the inside of my thigh. There was a time in middle school where I wasn't the bright, positive, go-lucky girl that I try to be now. When you go a long time without being able to make friends, when your father degrades you along with the people from school, the light within yourself eventually dims.

Every time I had looked at a sharp object I couldn't help but just think of it.

One day after this girl at school told me to "disappear", I pretended like it didn't affect me.  Later that day I went home and saw a razor on my desk. I don't know what possessed me, but I took the razor and slid it on my thigh. The next minute I was bleeding and crying, not able to believe what I had just done.

It hurt like a bitch, and I have a low pain tolerance.

No one knows I did that. And I never did it again.  I promised myself after that day that I would never purposefully hurt myself again.

I like my scars now.  I like how each one has its own little story. I look at scars as natural tattoos. Its a more interesting way of viewing them.

My hair is left in it's natural state, a middle part and down to my waist.

I woke up excited today to see Owen and Levina.  I wonder if Owen finished reading the book I gave him yesterday.  Hopefully he enjoyed it.

Hopefully he cried.  That would be funny.

I'm not a sadist I swear.

Walking into the lunchroom I automatically look towards their lunch table.  They are talking amongst each other and Owen looks confused.  Levina starts hysterically laughing.

She looks pretty when she laughs.

Can't relate.

I move in between the passing people holding their lunch trays and make my way to the table.

They both turn to me when I arrive.

Owen stares at me with no emotion present on his face. My stomach breaks out in a bundle of nerves as I notice in the corner of my eye him quickly looking me up and down before I sit down. Maybe he thinks my dress is pretty.

Levina is smiling up at me.

"Hey Luna!" Levina nicely says as she throws a chip in her mouth.

"Hi." I prop my head in my hands and tap my feet on the floor.  A warm smile sits on my face.

I turn to Owen, "Hey buddy." My smile gets progressively wider.

"I'm not your buddy." he takes a sip of his water while staring in my eyes.  My cheeks flush.

"You're right.  You're my best buddy." I show a toothy grin.

A sly smile makes its way into his face.  He shakes his head no while trying to hold in a laugh.

I roll my eyes while a smile that won't wear off my face is present, making my cheeks start to hurt.

"Okay, so Luna." Levina presses her palms onto the table as if this is a business meeting.

I open my eyes wider to let her know I'm listening.

"Owen and I are going to the fair later.  And we-" Owen gently hits her shoulder with his, interrupting her sentence.  She rolls her eyes at him.  "-fine.  I want you to come with us." She clasps her hands together over her water bottle and begins to tap it with her forest green acrylic nails.

The Connecticut State Fair.

Hm.

I think for a moment, should I go? I mean why not?  I've never hung out with a friend before, it should be fun.

I'm seventeen, I want to experience teenager things that I've missed out on for so long.  One of the first things I could experience is the fair.

My heart beats faster in excitement.

"Yes!  I'd love to go." I accept her off and then turn to Owen, who is already looking at me.  I give him a fake smile, hopefully annoying him.

How is it that every time I turn to look at this boy he is already looking at me.

Weirdo.

"It was her idea to invite you, not me." He points to Levina with his thumb.

A laugh escapes my throat, "I know dumbass.  You really expect me to believe that you would invite me anywhere you're going?" I can't stop snorting.  It wasn't even that funny.  What's wrong with me.  I think my system is broken.

"Your laugh is funny." A chuckle escapes Owen's mouth.  I stop laughing immediately.

Oh my god.

"What?" A perplexed expression takes over his face.  A smile rises on mine.

"I made you laugh." I like to think of this as one of my achievements in life.

I made stone-cold-expression-boy laugh.

"Okay?" He looks even more confused.

An accomplished feeling washes over me.

"Oh...nothin'." I smirk at him.

"Ok gimme your phone number so you can send me your address when we come to pick you up." Levina takes out her phone from her backpack.  The case matches her nicely done nails.

I rummage through my bag to find my iPhone 7.  It's kind of old, but I barely use this thing anyways so I don't care.

The case is a light pink shade with little flowers on it.  It's adorable.

We exchange numbers.  Then we break out in a conversation about books that we want to read.

I found out Levina is also a whore for fictional men. 

I'm convinced she is my platonic soulmate.  We are basically the same.  Except she is more into comic books while I am not.

Owen causally interjects in the conversation every once in a while as he downs his bag of Doritos.

He even let me have one.

I think he is warming up to me.

Slowly, but surely.

Sadly, lunch ends quicker then I hoped for.

"I'll make sure to call you later Luna!" Levina calls out to me before heading out the Cafetería doors.

The chatter of the lunchroom begins to die down as people exit.

I quietly gather my things and sling my black bag over over my shoulder.

Except before I can leave I feel a hand gently touch my arm.

Turning behind me Owen stands behind me, holding the book I gave him yesterday.  A few post it notes stick out from the side.

"I finished the book.  It was good, you should lend me more of your books.  I'll admit it, you have good taste." He hands me the book, his fingers brush mine. The cold metal of his ring sends a shiver down my spine.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it.  Tomorrow I'll bring you another book!  Oh my god...it can be like our own little book club!" Excitement fills me.  That sounds like so much fun.

He sighs, obviously tired of me, "Sure.  See you later, Luna." His hand pats my shoulder as he walks past me and through the doors into the hallway.

I stand there like an idiot.  Smiling, looking like an even bigger idiot.

In the corner of my eye I see someone staring at me.

Turning my head to the right I see Madeline looking at me as if she wants to kill me.

I didn't do anything wrong.  She needs to fuck off.

I wave at her just to piss her off and then walk away, pushing open the doors and heading into the crowded hallway.

The Fair.

I've never been there before.  I've always wanted to go on a Ferris Wheel and eat cotton candy.

This is the most excited I've been about something is a long time.

Nothing could ruin my day now, not even my dads crude remarks.

~

As I lay on my bed, bored.  I look over to my backpack on the floor by the bedroom door.

A light bulb goes off in my head when I remember the annotated book Owen had given back to me today.

I wonder what he wrote.

Quickly getting up, I rush over to the bag, snatch the book and then hop back onto my bed.

My fingers flip from page to page, grinning as I read the neatly written post-it notes on every other page.

"You read sex?" Is what one of the notes say just above a smut scene.

"Um.  Okay then."

"Oh?"

"Asshole."

The annotations go on and on.  They're mainly just him complaining or making predictions.

I spend the rest of the night smiling as I read Owen's notes.

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