tw: domestic violence; strong language

Joseph

I entered the office, exhausted as I rubbed my eyes. It had been one hell of a night— strange, to say the least. I kept seeing images of Trina, tormenting me in my sleep. I wondered if I had just been losing my mind or if my past was catching up to me.

And this morning, I somehow saw her reflection in my mirror. I screamed. I screamed so loud and rushed out of the bathroom so fast. I hadn't been home in almost two days because of it.

After work, I had a class at my local university. I was finishing up grad school in order to become an architect someday; I was a bit behind my classmates, but everyone has their own path in life.

I slept at a motel for two nights with no visions of Trina.

And tonight, I decided that it would be a good idea to head back home. After class, I drove the five miles to my apartment and entered. I checked my emails quickly and microwaved some ramen.

I sat on my couch and turned on the TV, hoping it could take my mind off of school, even if for just a short while. But the show that was on was not something I thought I would ever see again.

I tried to look away, but my eyes were glued to the screen. It felt like someone had wrapped their fingers around my face and forced me to keep staring. Anytime I tried to shut my eyes, they flung back open.

"Stop!" I shouted, my eyes glued to a video I didn't know existed; a video I wished I didn't have to re-live or see again. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I sat in silence, unable to move as I continued to watch.

"Joseph!" My mother's eyes were wide open, fear fluttering off of her in waves as I stood there holding a metal box in my hand.

My father stood up, I had knocked him with it before and his forehead bled slowly. I looked at the mud that stuck to the side of his face from where he had landed, combined with the blood from where I had thrown the small metal box at him.

"Run!" My mother shouted, her voice sounded panicked. I stood there, confused at how I had gotten back and Trina stood behind me wearing her long dress. We had left the 1910s; the strange time machine box was back in my hand somehow; and I was back to the exact moment after I had hit my father in the head with the box.

"No mom." I said, feeling revived, the fear coursing through me only made me feel powerful. "I'm stronger than this. I have to overcome it. I can fight for you." I shouted as my fathers footsteps wobbled slightly, he was off balance and I knew he would regain it at any second.

"Joseph." Trina said, "we agreed; two lives for ours." She muttered behind me. My eyes widened, I didn't understand what she meant back then. I had just wanted to go back to protect my mother, that was the only reason I left the era I was in— aside from almost getting killed for people accusing me of being a nazi.

"You piece of shit," my father began sputtering as my heart raced. I stumbled backward, tripping over a branch and quickly catching myself before I fell. My fingers tightened around the box, my knuckles turning white.

"Joseph! Please run!" My mother shouted again as my father turned to face her. He made my blood boil as he shifted his anger from me to her, placing all the blame of the past few minutes onto her.

"Shut up you dumb bitch!" He growled, "you've always been an idiot and you always will be an idiot! Fuck you and your idiot son!" He shouted, "look how you couldn't raise him! This is the respect he shows his father! Damn you and your dumbass son!" My father shouted. I felt my heart racing as I froze in place, unable to move as I watched him punch her. My mother fell to the ground, screaming as he kicked her repeatedly. "I should kill you! You never deserved to be married to someone like me! You deserve skum of this earth, like yourself!" He shouted. His leg colliding with her rib cage countless times and suddenly he was on top of her, slapping her face and attempting to choke her.

My mother screamed, yet I was frozen, unable to move, simply watching as he hit her and she bled. She screamed until she couldn't scream anymore and my legs were frozen. I couldn't move.

He kept hitting her, shouting things that made no sense. Blaming her for things she did not do. Reaffirming for me how much I hate camping, but hating my father even more.

I wanted to help.

I wanted to stop him.

I wanted to do something.

I couldn't move.

I thought back to how my girlfriend would always tell me to ignore him. Violet would always say it's not worth a fight. But, mom was worth it. She was worth more than the world.

I couldn't move.

I felt tears stream on my face as Trina stood beside me. She was also unable to move; she was physically still trapped in her era until a life was swapped for hers.

I wished I could move... or even speak.

All I could do was watch as he wrapped his hands around her bloodied neck and squeezed as she gasped for air.

"Mom..." I muttered, tears running down my face as I was unable to move. "Mom..." I whimpered, thinking of all the times she had tucked me in bed and read me a story, or taken me to the grocery store and bought me candy behind my fathers back. She was the only person who had ever truly shown me any love.

She was dying right in front of me and I couldn't do anything about it. My body wouldn't let me move.

"Bitch! Wake the hell up!" He shouted at her, pushing her face to the side, but she couldn't respond or move— she had fallen unconscious. I looked at her, bloodied and lying in the dirt, surrounded by trees and miles of silence where nobody had heard our screams.

"Stop..." I forced myself to whimper. I forced myself to fight. "S...st...stop." I stuttered, my legs felt glued to the forest floor. I was in shock at what I had just witnessed; afraid for my life and concerned about my mother.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?!" He snarled, turning his anger away from the unconscious woman and onto me. My heart began to race faster than it ever had before as I realized his anger was now being directed at me. My mother had tried to distract him, taking all the hits for me so I could get away— yet I stupidly was unable to move my feet. I was unable to escape.

"S...stop." I hiccuped, tears streaming down my face.

"Why the fuck are you crying?! You're not a girl. Shut your fucking mouth up." He said, climbing to his feet and approaching me. "Don't think I haven't forgotten about what you've done you disrespectful punk." He shouted.

"I...I'm sorry." I tried to say, my eyes focused on my mother's bloodied body. The sun was setting and the air was growing colder. It would be dark soon.

My heart was racing as tears streamed down my cheeks.

"I'll show you how to respect your father." He said, standing less than a foot away. My heart raced, pounding loud enough for me to hear it. My breathing was loud and fast as my fingers clutched the metal box in my hand.

"P...please..." I whispered, looking at him as he hovered over me.

"Please what?" He shouted, "you're a fucking waste of space. I never wanted you, but your dumb bitch of a mother insisted on keeping you; you stupid kid." His fingers reached for my neck and in a quick second I screamed, birds flew away from the area at the sheer volume of my shout. My body began moving of its own accord, my eyes shut as I felt my arms moving.

And then it was silent.

I slowly opened my eyes, looking at my fathers fallen figure beneath me, his head bleeding even more than before, laying peacefully on the dirt-covered floor. The sun was barely visible and the world grew cold.

"Do it." Trina's voice echoed in my ear as I looked at the metal box in my hand. I slowly moved forward, slamming it into his throat.

"This is for my mother!" I shouted, bashing the box into his head. I wished he could suffer like he made my mother suffer, "this is for how you treated us, all these years." I kept hitting him, repeatedly bashing him and punching with as much power as I could muster. Blood covered my hands until a warm hand was placed on my shoulder. I felt the adrenaline shutter away immediately as I turned my head to look at Trina.

"He's dead." She said, standing in the flesh behind me.

"Wh...what?" I cried, staring at his lifeless body. "I... I..."

"A life for a life." Trina said, "thank you for giving me a chance here." She said sweetly, but the words sounded venomous.

"I killed him?" I asked, looking at my hands with disbelief. I was confused, but I felt no guilt. I felt justified in my actions— he deserved to die. He didn't deserve a family. It might not have been my call to make— perhaps it was God's call to make, but I knew that if I had been given this chance again, I would do it again. And again.

I felt empowered as I stood over the monster.

"He can't hurt you anymore." Trina said. Her words were soft, but I was struggling to comprehend the reality of the situation. I stood there, unable to understand.

"Mom." I whispered, rushing over to her. "Mom." I said again, my heart racing as she looked at the trees above us with lifeless eyes.

"She didn't deserve this; I'm sorry for your loss." Trina said softly.

"What?!" I shouted, grabbing my mother's hands as realization dawned on me. "No! No! No! Bring her back with your voodoo shit! Bring her back!" I shouted to Trina as she simply shook her head and took a step back.

"I can't." She said.

I was too distracted; too upset to realize the weight of my actions. I was angrier than ever at a dead man and it wasn't like I could kill him again.

"We have to go." Trina said, "there are others nearby."

"No... I can't leave her." I said.

"Joseph, you must." Trina dragged me away as I continued to stare at my mother's lifeless body, continuously replaying the situation in my mind. If only I had moved... if only I could shout louder... if only I could have hit him before he could hurt her.

But nothing could change the past.

And suddenly the video began to replay. Over and over again. I sat on my couch unable to move or speak, wishing I could scream as I watched my father kill my mother over and over again.

***
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Until next chapter ❤️
next chapter will be updated around Christmas
-time and will be the last chapter of 2020; more to come next year! Stay safe!