12 - the truth

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  They were sitting outside on a wooden bench, watching as the cars whizzed by on the street before them.

  She peeked at him as he scooped a spoonful of ice cream from his cup and let the contents melt in his mouth. He had chosen chocolate, a common preference, while she chose chocolate chip cookie dough instead.

  "Is yours good?" she asked him, and he shrugged, glancing down at the cold liquid.

  "Tastes like ice cream," he replied blandly.

  She, however, seemed to be in complete bliss as she ate some of her own. "Mine tastes like heaven."

  He glanced at her face, and she, sensing his unexpected gaze, turned to him. He looked away instantly, like it was almost a reflex by now.

  Holding back a disappointed frown, Ali cleared her throat. "So how long have you been working for your dad?"

"Four years now."

"Do you like your job?"

Sawyer seemed to hesitate for a moment, then let out a short breath, recalling their deal. "No."

"Then how come you haven't quit, if you don't mind me asking?" she set down her empty ice cream cup on the bench. "I mean, you're only twenty, right? You can be anything you want, so what's your dream job?"

"Dream job?" he repeated, slightly reassembling a confused child, and she nodded.

"Yeah, like when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Sawyer took a brief second to consider her question while she studied his face. There was no point in trying to read him, but staring at his sharp chiseled features wasn't a bother either. "I've never thought about that."

She furrowed her eyebrows at his odd response. "Never? Is that even possible?"

"For some people," Sawyer answered ambiguously; she swiftly turned away, catching on to what he meant. She once again felt his cold, curious scrutiny after a moment and tilted her head to glimpse at him.

Seemingly having a sixth sense, he brought his gaze back to the cars just before she looked at him. This time, she did not hold back her frown, and she decided to not hold back her thoughts either.

"Why do you do that?" Ali questioned gruffly, her exasperated tone startling him enough to sit up.

"Do what?"

Ali then leaned forward and craned her neck to look directly into his face, but he immediately looked to the side. She slouched back against the bench, crossing her arms. "That."

He twisted his head forward again without showing a hint of guilt or embarrassment, but she caught the way his Adam's apple bobbed forcefully.

She continued: "At first, I thought you were just one of those people who don't like eye contact, which is fine. But then I realized that you always look at all of your customers in the eye, and you did so with Marina today too. So it's really just me you don't do that with, and I can't figure out why."

When he still didn't respond, she sighed and rested her head on the bench behind her, softening her voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. It just makes me anxious. Let's talk about something else."

She was about to open her mouth as she thought of another conversation starter when he suddenly cleared his throat. She scrunched her eyebrows as he began speaking in a voice that neither she, nor he, recognized. "You didn't notice, but I caught you staring at me before we met. You had that curious look on your face, one that everyone has when they first see me, until they finally talk to me."

Sawyer swallowed, feeling his throat dry out as the air he breathed seemed to grow colder. "Their face eventually changes into one of fear or disapproval or judgment instead. But you...you still haven't changed."

"Even now, after I'm sure our coworkers have told you all about me," he said, and she scratched her head, feigning cluelessness. "You still look at me like I'm normal. Like what I am is normal."

  He then lowered his head into his hands; she strained her ears to hear his next words. "The fact that you think of me that way makes it hard for me to meet your eyes because I have no idea how to talk to you, how to be around someone like you."

  As she listened to him spew out the truth with a difficulty that could be heard from the guttural effort of his throat, she realized something. It was obvious from the very start, yet she had missed it.

  She gazed down at his hunched, frustrated figure and asked him: "You mean you don't know how to manipulate me?"

  It was silent for a moment, with only the whooshing cars to fill the void, as he fully registered her words. She watched him slowly lift his head and lean back on the wooden bench. His dark eyes danced in thought before finally coming to a conclusion, settling his gaze on her shoes.

"Yes," Sawyer confessed, nodding. "You're right, I don't. And I'll never be able to figure it out because of our deal."

"Hm," Ali mused as a small smile crept onto her face. "Good."

  Sawyer ignored her comment and stood, making his way towards his car. She untangled her arms to grab her ice cream cup before quickly catching up with him.

  She followed him to his car, then awkwardly rocked on the balls of her feet in front of him. He opened his car door and waited for her to speak, keeping his eyes low.

  Finally, she settled on something to say, as ordinary as it was. "Well, this was fun."

  "Yeah," he muttered under his breath as she smiled.

  "Rather enlightening actually, so thank you for that," she remarked teasingly, yet he seemed to miss that part in her tone.

  "You're welcome."

  Ali stared at him for another couple of seconds before letting out a sigh, content with their interaction of the day. "Alright, I'll set you free now. See you at work, Sawyer."

  She then walked across the small parking lot to her car, humming a tune that plagued her mind. Halfway through, he suddenly called out to her: "You have ice cream all over your face, Alice!"

  She froze, baffled, as she lifted her hand to touch her lips. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment when she realized that he was right.

  "Why didn't you tell me so—" she paused when she turned, seeing that he had already climbed into his car.

  Narrowing her eyes at the black car as it rolled away, she swore she saw a shadow of a smile on his face in the side-view mirror.

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