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PLEASE MAKE ME SMILE AND VOTE BY CLICKING THAT STAR AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SCREEN!




When you're back to square one. Actually, it's zero. Square zero.


Feeling extremely uneasy, I waited for Noah to come to class.

He did, but he didn't sit beside me this time.

"This should have never happened."

The blankness in his eyes when he said that, the cold finality in his voice. It hurt.

Did he mean we should have never happened? That he and I shouldn't have been friends in the first place?

It seemed too abrupt, too short, the happy times we had together before something eventually—always— sliced it apart.

I threw a glance at him. His head was turned to the window so that I couldn't even see his face, but I noticed his hands were balled into fists.

Who is Luna?

Since that night he climbed in my bedroom, Noah seemed more open to me, playful. Flirtatious even.

But as soon as Drew mentioned Luna's name, Noah turned into a completely different person.

She must have meant a lot to him judging from his strong reaction.

Drew said I reminded him of Luna. How? Why?

Was she Noah's girlfriend?

But Noah said he didn't have a girlfriend.

An ex, maybe.

Worse, did I remind Noah of her? Was that why he was talking to me all of a sudden?

It was... disheartening to think about it.

Part of me wondered if I should leave Noah alone, but everyone in his life had left him already.

His mother died. His sister left town. His father was never a father to him.

At least Sebastian was there, but I'd only seen them together once.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe there is a reason why he's always alone?

It seemed that there was no point in my internal battle, because just like the flakes of snow that started to fall from the sky and melted on the ground,

the Noah who gave me a band-aid that night in my bedroom,

the playful Noah behind the school gym,

the Noah who made me think, question, and examine the rules rather than blindly accepting them,

disappeared and never spoke to me again.

In his place was a Noah who never looked at or talked to me. But even that Noah held a certain familiarity. He had stopped talking to me before. Although this time, there was a coldness in his manner that was never there before, an indifference that affected me deeply more than his anger ever could.

It scared me how easy it was for him.

How easy it was for him to walk away. To act as if he'd never met me before, like I was a mere speck that landed on his shirt and easily brushed off.

Maybe it was my fault for letting him mean so much to me, but I wasn't sorry at all. Not at all.

Even when it burned.


"Why would you give Seb our notes?" I heard Ruth's accusing voice as soon as I entered the coffee shop. She and Mag were seated in one of the booths at the back.

It was the last week of classes before Christmas break. Ruth was going on a trip the whole two weeks of it, and by the time she got back, there'd only be a week left before the Provincial Exams.

With threats of blackmail and body harm, Ruth had forced us to finish our reviewer last week so she could bring it with her on her trip, insisting on meeting this weekend for a last study group before she left.

Snacks were number one priority in a study group so we decided to meet up first at the only coffee shop in town before heading to Ruth's house.

"We stayed up so late making this reviewer!" Ruth went on, dramatically placing her hand on her chest. "I shed tears of blood. Making this reviewer is second place to the pain I will receive when I birth my kids. And you photocopied them for Seb? Are you brain dead?"

Mag sighed patiently. "I can't say no, Ruth. That would be rude. Besides, he's on his way here to get them."

"How is it rude? Ha! I know. He's loaded, right? We can charge him fifty bucks. Each."

I snorted. Ruth looked behind her shoulder, glared at me.

"Look what the cat dragged in. You're late."

I pinched Ruth's cheek to distract her. "You're so pretty."

And she was.

"Thanks, I know." She flipped her red curly hair behind her shoulder, but her finger snagged one of her curls. "Ugh."

"Hey, Parker." Mag smiled at me, scooching to give me room to sit.

"You have that look again," Ruth commented.

"What look?" I asked, sitting beside Mag.

"The Noah, Noah, let down your messy I woke up like this bad boy hairdo and let me climb all over you look."

"I don't have that look."

Do I?

"I told you to stay away from him, didn't I? You didn't listen. Now look what happened."

"Ruth," Mag warned.

Ruth rolled her eyes.

"She's acting so pathetic around him. Besides, if you want a guy to be into you, you have to dangle the carrot. Make him work for it," she scolded, shaking her finger at me. "And don't act so desperate."

"Leave her alone," Mag burst out in a rare show of temper. "Parker knows what she wants and she's honest about it. It's hard enough to show your feelings for someone, let alone confess them. What's so wrong with expressing them?"

Ruth's mouth fell open. So did mine. Mag's soft dulcet tones turned sharp, almost angry.

"Why are people scared of saying I love you?" Mag's cheeks were flushed, her blue eyes blazing with purpose. "Afraid to look desperate? Afraid of rejection?"

"Mag—"

"Isn't love the most beautiful thing? Poets write about it, almost every song on the radio is about it, so why are we afraid of it? Why don't we say it?"  

"Look," Ruth started, her tone careful, "there's nothing wrong with making a guy work for it."

"Work for it? As if it's a transaction." Mag let out a loud breath. "Love is freely given. It's free."

"Free?" Ruth scoffed. "What soap operas have you been watching? Let's be realistic here. Parker is going to get hurt and I don't want that to happen to her."

"Love is not real until it hurts."

"With all your talk of love, why don't you tell Sebastian you like him then?" Ruth countered.

Mag flushed, her shoulders sagging as if all her energy had been depleted from her speech.

"That's why I admire Parker," she responded, her voice dejected, sad. "I haven't the courage to..." She frowned.

Ruth snorted. "That's what Snow White said to the prince. Look how she birthed seven dwarfs."

Wait a minute... That wasn't what happened. Snow White didn't give birth to seven dwarfs.

I waited a beat.

"Ruth." I touched her forehead with the back of my hand. "I really hope you're joking."

The little bells on the door jingled, indicating a new customer came in. My eyes automatically moved to the sound.

Sebastian sauntered in, dashing in his long dark coat. His bright green eyes widened with delight as soon as he spotted Mag.

I remembered him asking her if he should have a man bun. He did have it now, tendrils of his dark blond hair escaped to frame his adorably boyish face. Then he moved.

And everything else didn't matter.

Because behind him stood Noah.

My eyes absorbed and followed his movements as he took a seat beside the door.

Love is freely given.

He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of him and lowering his head.

It was obvious he didn't want to be here.

It had been weeks since that unforgettable day behind the South Gym, but what happened that day was still fresh in my mind.

Seb greeted us, my eyes unwillingly turning to him to acknowledge his presence.

They talked among themselves, arguing it sounded like, something about fifty bucks, but I couldn't seem to pay attention to them.

I turned my eyes to Noah. He hadn't moved a muscle.

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor distracted me, and I looked to find an older couple seated beside Noah's table grab their coffee mugs and plates and moved to a table across the room. All the while glaring at Noah as if he had shouted at them to move.

Suddenly I grew aware of my surroundings, and the way some of the patrons were regarding Noah.

Some of them looked at him with derision in their eyes, some with hostility, and others with pity.

Mag was right. It was disgusting the way people treated Noah just because his dad was the town drunk. 

My chest felt tight, filled with a powerful urge to scream at them. To take Noah and get him away from their ugliness.

My body strung tight as I watched Mr. Mountain approached and stopped in front of Noah, his stance confrontational.

I rose and moved closer to Noah.

"You're not welcome here," Mr. Mountain spat. "Get the hell out of here, boy."

Noah lifted his eyes —blank, cold eyes. Stoic. He just stared at Mr. Mountain, not saying anything.

The older man started to look uncomfortable, and people were starting to stare. Mr. Mountain turned beet red.

"You're nothing but a menace in this town. We don't need the likes of you. You and your father, away with you!"

"Mr. Mountain!" I found myself standing in front of Noah, chest heaving with anger, throat aching from the urge to yell.

Mr. Mountain's brain took a while to process. He blinked several times before he recognized me. "Parker? Get away from him! What do you think you're doing?"

"What do you think you're doing? Is this how you treat people who haven't done anything wrong to you?"

"He beat up Drew, my nephew! I sent Chief Hiddleston to arrest him, but he's slick this one."

He narrowed his eyes at Noah, shaking his skinny fist. "Didn't go to jail this time, eh, boy? Watch your back next time if I were you."

Mr. Mountain turned to me again, his face sour. "Stay away from him, Parker, or I will tell your dad you're mixing with the likes of him. He will be very disappointed in you."

Behind me, I felt more than heard Noah rise.

"My dad," I said, enunciating every word, "will be disappointed in me if I just stood by and watch you bully an innocent party. I was there when Drew attacked Noah for no reason. Noah was just defending himself. You and your nephew are bullies, Mr. Mountain."

"Why you—!" he sputtered, lifting his arm.

I gasped as I felt strong hands band around my arms from behind me, pulling me back. I stared up at Noah's broad shoulders as he stood in front of me, blocking Mr. Mountain.

"You want to keep using that hand," Noah started, his voice casual, quiet, non-threatening.

But the warning was there. In every word he'd uttered.

"You better keep it behind you," he finished.

Noah didn't move a muscle. He was so still.

Behind Noah, I stepped to the side to take a peek of Mr. Mountain, but Noah's hand gripped mine, squeezing lightly. Telling me to stay behind him.

I did, but I had already seen the look on Mr. Mountain's face. It was pale, stamped with fear as he backed away from Noah.

Before I could even blink, Noah was dragging me behind him out the door, to an alley between two buildings.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he bit out. He grinded his teeth, hardened his jaw.

"Defending you. I—"

"Stop. Parker, just stop."

"Noah..."

He rubbed his face with his hands, raking them in his hair. He looked exhausted.

"I don't need anyone to fight my battles for me," he said softly.

It felt like a slap in the face.

Don't! I wanted to yell, but I was frozen. Don't say it!

When he raised his blue eyes to mine, and I saw the deep pain in them, something caught in my throat.

"Not even you, Parker."

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